hello everyone

> tldr:

> depression swallowed me whole - lots and lots of hospital stuff

>

> im back, finishing angels book 2, posting a few chapters today (scheduled to come out every few hours), then the rest on a scheduled basis so i can keep up with things

>

> angels book 1's official release soon (so excited for the audiobook!)

>

> love you very much

im sorry for being ghost again. i crashed. i crashed and burned and somehow crashed and froze too. then i crashed and got waterlogged.

my father's cancer swung its ugly head again. they were trying new medications - there was also a big thing with the insurance, hilarious given recent events - and then there were complications. we thought this was it. game over.

it wasn't. but it also kind of is. it's just counting down the months now and thinking about a whole bunch of "lasts."

last thanks giving? last christmas? last new years? last what else?

it burnt me out. i was so burnt out. i still am. this was the cycle i went through a few years ago and now i have to go through it again for a loved one.

the worst part is that it really seemed like everything might be okay for a while. and there's a pattern to my life that i just can't with. trying to do better, achieving something, then having things spiral out. im so tired of the having hope and feeling wrecked and the back and forth of that.

i have been seeing a therapist. ive been doing a lot of work on me. i've cried a lot. been facing the sources of my guilt, shame, fears, and the negative voices i constantly allow to burrow in my head.

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and i did come out of the gloom a few weeks ago. things are still trucking along, the whirlwind of hospital appointments and checkups and family bs and everything else.

but i did not want to delay my publisher's deadline for book 2 again - they've been so kind and supportive throughout this year, and more importantly, i did not want to delay getting more chapters to you. i didn't want to delay working on this story and somehow losing the threads and giving up. so ive been working diligently.

i have a bunch of chapters to come out today. forgive me if they're not as polished, and always feel free to call out typos and things. i may not get around to them right away, but i appreciate them immensely.

after today's five chapters, i'll be posting regularly on Monday's and Thursdays. scheduled a few chapters/weeks ahead as i work on the rest, and im excited. i will be holding my self accountable and i want to use that pressure to be more ON IT.

2024 got away from me when i thought it would finally be a year i could be happy

but thinking like that is like shooting ourselves in the foot right? difficult things always spring up. the best we can do is try to be present and open and have a willingness to try

that's what ive been working on. maintain my willingness to try, cause at the end of the day i wanna write. i wanna tell a whole buncha stories

and in the spirit of that, i can announce that ALL HIS ANGELS ARE STARVING (book 1) is officially coming out in February!! the ebook, paperback, and audiobook!!

im very excited for that, and looking forward to finish out angels 2 and 3 and ending the series with what i hope is a cathartic ending.

due to it coming out soon, i have to stub angels book 1 with the new year, so almost literally January 1st. i'll be removing most of angels book 1 chapters from the listing here.

if you are wondering about Samiya and what's happened with that story - i just can't right now. that story was my processing my own health issues and horrible things, and it's like........

i will finish that story. i love it too much to let it go. but i think i'll need a bit more time. cause i feel like i can't even heal yet. it's just waiting for the thing to happen and then i gotta heal and im tired of that.

and i want to finish angels out and see it through to the end. i don't think i'll ever juggle two series again. maybe a series and some short projects on the side like my grandma/goblin honey story that i love so much.

we'll see

new year, tougher me.

thank you so so so much for waiting so patiently

your support has meant so much, and means so much, and i will forever be grateful

yours,

tess