“It’s not really cheating. It’s just what it’s called. The game developers use it to help them test stuff. Like, if you have to go through a whole bunch of Quests to get to the Quest they want to test, they can just skip those other Quests. Or they can teleport to where they want to test, instead of walking?” Angus stared at the confused expressions surrounding him. “Or if they want to test buying stuff, they can just give themselves the money for it instead of earning it in the game? Like… Gold Angus one million.”
“Can you no just tell us what these rectangles in the air mean?” Fergus asked, sounding irritated.
“Hold on, hold on!” Angus held up a hand, leaving Fergus looking furious. “Effie, what does my name show up as?”
Effie’s mind went blank for a moment before she realised what he meant. She concentrated on the idea of name boxes, then startled a bit as floating tags appeared. They weren’t just over the head of Young Angus, but above everyone there. “Um, YoungAngusTheDrummer. No spaces. Capital Y, A, T and D.”
“Okay, okay, Pen YoungAngusTheDrummer… one hundred million…” Angus’s eyes widened abruptly. “F… it worked! It actually worked! Shit!”
“Language!” Fergus burst out, but Angus wasn’t listening. He was giggling and shaking his head in disbelief as he bounced on the spot.
“I got Titles! I got a hundred million Pen! Debug Mode is awesome! Effie, Effie, you try it! Say ‘Pen EffieTheFirstPiper one hundred million!’”
“Um…” Effie hesitated, chewing her lip. “Pen?”
“Yeah, I looked at my inventory and there was a slot that could only be for money and it was labelled Pen, Lio and Tan, so I guessed Pen was the most valuable,” Angus gabbled without breathing. “Say it!”
Effie fiddled with her bagpipes, causing them to give a tiny discordant groan. “Pen… EffieTheFirstPiper? One…” might as well go for broke… “billion?”
She heard a sound, like a cash register closing.
[New Title! Trailblazer Millionaire. You are one of the first 100 on your planet to gain one million Pen. +1 to all Attributes. +1% made on all sales. -1% spent on all purchases.]
[New Title! Progenitor Billionaire. You are the first on your planet to gain one billion Pen. +10 to all Attributes. +10% made on all sales. -10% spent on all purchases.]
[Circumstantial Adaptive Code Activted. Error! Development codes only available to programmers!]
[Recalculating…]
[New entity designation: Earth Primary Programmer Two]
[New Title! Trailblazer Programmer. You are one of the first 100 on your planet to gain the Programmer designation. +1 to all Attributes. +1% to System Programming.]
[Skill learned: System Programming 1%]
[Warning! To prevent misconduct, no further Programmer designations will be assigned until the Adoption process is complete.]
[Unknown skills detected, recalculating…]
[New Skill designation: Epic Soundtrack 50%]
[Epic Soundtrack has the following effects:]
[Courage of a Honey Badger: Skill user and all allies within range gain a bonus to resisting Fear effects. Bonus varies with skill level.]
[Phonophobia: Chance to inflict a Fear attack on each enemy in range. Attack strength varies with Skill level. Effect cannot be resisted.]
[Epic Soundtrack is an Active Skill]
[Specialisation Available!]
[Your Epic Soundtrack has reached 10%! As a result of your experiences so far, the following choices are available:]
[Pipes of War: You have a special connection to your musical instrument of choice. +25% to Epic Soundtrack when using the bagpipes.]
[Lead from the Front: You are prepared to put your life on the line to help your companions. When you are using Epic Soundtrack while in the front line of combat, your allies gain Damage Reduction 5 and an additional +25% to resist Fear effects.]
[Specialisation Available!]
[Your Epic Soundtrack has reached 50%! As a result of your experiences so far, the following choices are available:]
[Pipes of War: Only available if not chosen previously. You have a special connection to your musical instrument of choice. +25% to Epic Soundtrack when using the bagpipes.]
[Pipes of War II: Upgrade to Pipes of War Specialisation. You have a special connection to your musical instrument of choice. +50% to Epic Soundtrack when using the bagpipes.]
[Pipes of Doom: Your music casts doom and destruction upon your opponents. Epic Soundtrack becomes a Combat Skill inflicting Sonic Damage on all opponents in range. As a Combat Skill, Epic Soundtrack is linked to Charisma.]
[New Skill designation: War Dance 30%]
[War Dance has the following effects:]
[Dance Off: Following a Skill check by all opponents, the difference in Skill success is subtracted from all subsequent Combat Skill rolls for the primary Combat Skill of the less successful opponent, for a duration of one minute. Additional War Dance checks may be made to reduce additional Combat Skills.]
[War Dance is an Active Skill]
[Specialisation Available!]
[Your War Dance has reached 10%! As a result of your experiences so far, the following choices are available:]
[All Together Now: +1 to War Dance for every skill user with this Specialisation who synchronises movements.]
[Tartan Army: Bonus to War Dance when approriately dressed.]
Effie found herself leaning backwards as the message boxes bombarded her. It was all too much to take in, too much to even start to understand. She was pretty sure nobody else was seeing what she was. She must look like a total idiot, staring into empty air. If someone, anyone, else could see them… if Angus could see them… YoungAngusTheDrummer, who chose that?
“Hey, what?” Angus’s voice sounded distant. Another tumble of blue and gold poured across her vision.
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
[New Title! Progenitor Prime: You are the first in the Integrated Universe to discover the Skill: Epic Soundtrack. +50 to all Attributes. +50% to Epic Soundtrack.]
[New Title! Progenitor: You are the first on your planet to discover the Skill: Epic Soundtrack. +10 to all Attributes. +10% to Epic Soundtrack.]
[New Title! Trailblazer: You are one of the first 100 people on your planet to discover the Skill: War Dance. +1 to all Attributes. +1% to War Dance.]
[Programmer Message: Auction House initiated]
[Programmer Message: Quest System initiated]
[Quest Available! 1/4 Find The Antbeetle Nest]
[Learn where the antbeetle swarm came from.]
[Reward: +100 Experience, Intelligence +1, 10 Lio]
Effie physically waved the boxes away with her hands, then covered her eyes with her palms to try and block everything out. She felt Angus patting her on the shoulder, and glanced up to find the red-faced and scowling Fergus glaring at her.
“An explanation would be appreciated,” Sarcasm oozed through Fergus’s gritted teeth. “When you have time.”
“But I don’t know anything,” Effie whispered, her throat too tight to speak any louder. “Maybe I’m dreaming?”
“We’re in a game,” Angus said, using Effie as a shield as he spoke over her shoulder at Fergus. “That’s what it looks like, but I didn’t do anything. I don’t know how it works yet. I’ll work it out, but not if you’re going to shout at me. It’s not my fault!”
“You know what’s going on!” Fergus bellowed. “The rest of us do not, and we need to know! And ye should no be messing aboot with toy money when there’s chilies dead!”
Effie and Angus both froze. Fergus towered over them both in frustrated fury. Effie coudn’t stop the little squeak she made. Then time paused as David Canmore stood up. It needed silence to properly take him all in. It was like watching a mountain unfold. There was a lot of David Canmore. Behind his towering figure the two soldiers made their way across too, William Tait and Alastair Bain, flanking the Heavyweight Champion one on each side. The pair dropped into parade rest. Fergus lifted his chin to regard them in obstinate silence.
“This is real,” David said, his voice a startlingly lightweight tenor. “Which means that announcement was real. Someone is trying to take over the world. Anything else is guesswork. Even if this young man is good at guessing, that’s still all it is. They know no more than you, Fergus Taylor.”
Fergus deflated somewhat. “Aye. It’s a lot to take in. But it’s not a time to be playing aboot with toy money! It’s a time to be making a plan!”
“It’s not a time to be fighting with each other,” the Sergeant stated. “Save that for the enemy. As for money, in my experience, the more funds the better. So let’s calm down, stop scaring the bairns, and start putting what we know on the table.”
Effie glared at William. “I am not a bairn!”
♩♪♫♩♬♪
[Entering Debug Mode… This planet is now in Debug Mode.]
[Loading Your Finger You Fool…]
[...Please Wait…]
Katalin stared at the last message block. The messages had all made some sort of sense up to then, in the sort of way that made absolutely no sense at all unless you assumed you had somehow fallen into a computer game. Maybe she’d passed out from the concussion, and this was a dream? That would be more believable if she knew anything about computer games. Her life hadn’t left time for that sort of thing.
The distraction almost cost her everything. Tiny’s panicked squeak brought her attention back just in time to throw herself out of the way of the panthyruxi. She twisted her body in the air, missing claws by a whisper and landing in the one clear space left amongst the tumbled shelving.
[Skill increased: Dodge 11%]
[Supporting Skill: Acrobatics. Effect: Bonus to Dodge.]
A heavy foreleg tipped with claws slashed towards her. She ducked and swung at it with the flashlight, making contact and knocking it sideways into the face of another panthyruxi.
[Skill increased: Improvised Weapons 12%]
[Skill learned: Subterfuge 1%]
The second panthyruxi yowled and swiped at the first one. There should be three, Katalin thought, diving for a gap.
[Skill increased: Acrobatics 4%]
Oh, THERE it is. Shit! She was staring into the face of the third monster. A shifting of the air behind her gave her a fraction of a second’s warning. Tumbled shelves and equipment blocked her to either side. She flung herself at full stretch between the forelegs of the panthyruxi in front of her as two more leaped onto her from behind. The flashlight went flying.
[Skill increased: Dodge 12%]
[Supporting Skill: Acrobatics. Effect: Bonus to Dodge.]
The panthyruxis landed in a heap, half on top of each other. One great toothy head swung towards the flashlight, only to take a clawed leg to the jaw. The monster snarled and struck back with a snarl.
[Skill increased: Subterfuge 2%]
[Supporting Skill: Dodge. Effect: Bonus to Subterfuge.]
You’re sneaky but you’re not very bright, are you? Katalin thought, waving away another message.
[Skill increased: Monster Behaviourist 4%]
A panthyruxi lunged for her. Her hands were empty. The flashlight was gone. As she stared aghast down the pulsing throat of the monster, a dark strand of motion flickered past the corner of her eye. Breath frozen in her lungs, terror lending her strength and speed, she caught the swishing bony rope of coarse fur up by her fingertips, seized it in both hands and yanked it across the lunging maw of the beast. The howl of an enraged panthyruxi deafened her. Messages flashed past her eyes.
[Skill increased: Improvised Weapons 13%]
[Panthyruxi Health ?/??]
[New Title: Monstrous Opportunist! You have used a monster as an improvised weapon. Monster Behaviourist +1%, Improvised Weapons +1%, Wits +1]
[New Title: Monstrous Audacity Personified! You have used a monster, of at least five levels higher than yourself, as an improvised weapon! Seriously? How did you get away with that? Monster Behaviourist +10%, Improvised Weapons +10%, Wits +2]
There was a drooping length of furry rope in her hands, with short spikes at one end and dark ichor dripping from the other. She swung the spiked end into a looming eye, barely noticing the creature’s pained yowl. She was too busy ducking and tumbling between shadowed bodies, kicking paws aside into joints and faces. The severed tail in her hand did little damage, except to their vulnerable eyes, but it could wrap around a limb and drag it into the path of another.
[Skill increased: Dodge 13%]
[Supporting Skill: Acrobatics]
[Skill learned: Kick 1%]
[Skill increased: Subterfuge 3%]
[Supporting Skill: Acrobatics]
[Skill increased: Improvised Weapons 14%]
[Panthyruxi Heath ?/??]
[Skill increased: Kick 2%]
[Skill increased: Acrobatics 5%]
[Skill increased: Improvised Weapons 15%]
[Supporting Skill: Subterfuge]
[Panthyruxi Health ?/??]
On the edge of panic she flailed and kicked at looming maws and dagger-tipped limbs. Her bare feet were long since numbed to the sting of the broken equipment shards all around her, but bloodied prints marked her enemies. Glowing eyes winked out one by one as the severed tail in her hand whipped across them, but blindness didn’t seem to impede the monsters. Snarls of pain met her efforts and still it wasn’t enough, none of it was enough. One monster fell, but the other two rounded on her. She bit back a yelp of pain as claws raked down her arm.
[You have killed Panthyruxi]
[Skill failed: Dodge]
[Health 19/20]
[Panthyruxi uses Creeping Corruption]
[Skill failed: Corruption Resistance]
[Warning!]
[You are Corrupted!]
♩♪♫♩♬♪