Chapter 159

A Simple Viewing

Black Friday

“Plethora.” Alexa said, then mentally she began the long silent process of waiting and counting out until sixty in her mind, to make sure that a solid minute passed. Only once she got to sixty did her moment of silence end, allowing her to speak once again.

“Now I am supposed to sit down and let my mother come up and talk. Her first words are supposed to be ‘Thank you, that means a lot.’ And yes, before you ask, this was exactly what he had in his will. This was the same will and testament that said for today he wanted to be in a tuxedo shirt, knowing that for the rest of his life he would be buried in his hero costume. ‘Tomorrow and for every day after I will be remembered as Warder. But today, I hope you remember me as dad.’” Alexa said, quoting directly from the will.

Alexa paused for a second time, this time only pausing long enough for the gravity of those words to sink in. “This was who dad was, the first to state a joke. Or worse, get his expressionless daughter to be the deliverer of bad punchlines, knowing that my normal demeanor would be perfect for delivering dry punchlines. I hope he is looking down now and laughing one last time, even if he is the only one who finds the punchline funny, for that is who he was. He was the first person to turn to humor as a means to defuse a situation, but he was also the first person to charge into a burning building knowing that he would be able to make a difference and save a life. Today we are here to remember him for who he truly was, the man who was both larger than life as the Superhero the world watched and adored. While also being the man who was known to use a bad punchline to distract a villain just in time to deliver a real punchline.”

There was another momentary pause, as Alexa let those words sink in, before she continued. “Yes, he was also very proud for not only coming up with that joke, but making sure he told it to me sixteen times.”

Chuckle.

Detective Rayne Johnston, and a few others chuckled at that, not so much that they thought Alexa was exaggerating, but the fact that her analytical mind would have been able to not only count each utterance, but also the fact that she would be able to remember them all. “Thank you, you will be missed. Also, as per your wish, here is my final departing dad joke for you, and before anyone asks, no I did not come up with this, but dad said he would need as much new material for the afterlife as possible. With that I only have one thing left to say. ‘Did you know that optometrists don’t have funerals?’” Alexa began. Then pausing for a second, she completed the quote, ‘yes, apparently they only have viewings.’”

Dry chuckles.

“With that, my time is officially over, and I will end it by saying one last word. ‘Abundant.’”

Saying her last word, Alexa nodded towards the casket that still held her father in his spare Superhero Warder suit. There over top of the suit was his fancy tuxedo shirt, just as he had wished for. The last act of the family, after they all said their piece, would be to cut said shirt off him and use it as part of a bonfire in remembrance for him.

As Alexa moved to sit down, Judy nodded and stood up. Tears were rolling down her eyes, but she had a sad smile on her lips. Wiping a tear away, Judy began “thanks, that also means a lot.”

The moment Alexa was done, she quickly scanned the area, seeing if there was anything else that had come into the area. Alexa had been warned that something would happen during the funeral, and while all signs pointed to tomorrow, the day when he would be buried before everyone. The day when numerous figureheads and other Supers would come out of the woodwork to pay their respects made the most sense for an overwhelming attack, one could never be too careful.

As things were, targeting the family of a Super was often seen as the ultimate form of cowardice. Knowing this, this was exactly why Alexa thought the elves, or whichever group would use this opportunity to strike out, would choose now to attack.

Fortunately, all of Alexa’s concerns were for naught. Today, the day of the viewing was relatively peaceful. Each member of the family came up, shared their story and their message about what they had learned, what they remember, and ultimately how Jim ‘Warder’ Thyme had impacted their lives.

Once Alexa and the rest of the direct family members had made their peace, Captain Johnston came forward. Despite her small stature, she sauntered forward with an overpowering presence. As soon as she strode forward, she got to the platform and said her piece.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“I probably shouldn’t say this, in fact I promised I would take this story about Jim with me to the grave, and now here we are…” Rayne said, as she looked down at Jim. “I said I would take it with me to the grave, it’s not my fault you died first, releasing me from my contract.”

At this, everyone gathered perked up, realizing this was going to be a story worth noting, one where if Jim was still alive, he would come out of the woodwork right now and try to stop it. Rayne, as if giving him one last time to stop her, just stared down at the casket, but then nodded sadly to herself.

“Now, one thing you might not realize is that Jim was a local, meaning we all got to go to school with him and see that he was going to be a Super. You just knew it, everything about him just spoke about how he was going to save the world with his fists and cheesy one liners.” Captain Johnston began.

“What you might not realize is that his time in College, where he was getting his hero certifications didn’t always go so smoothly for him.” Chuckling to herself, she paused as she looked down at Jim’s motionless body and smiled. “While we have all seen the media coverage of his now famous capture of Buggatron, the one where his white boxers were exposed for the world to see. What you might not realize is that we were all just one hard learned lesson from college that made that video go from being PG to R. What you might not know is that originally when Jim first got his Super suit, he was so happy that he wanted to be in it as close to natural as possible. He said, and I quote, ‘this will help me immerse myself more in the role of being a hero.’”

At that Judy shouted out from the stands, “it’s true.”

“So when did Jim ‘Warder’ Thyme finally learn the art of wearing underwear under his Super suit? Was it the time when he was mauled by a debilitating bite to a sensitive region by a protector animal?” Rayne asked, then after a moment’s pause, she shook her head “no. Was it the time when he ran the convent course. The one where he was supposed to protect a convent from an attack, during which time he had acid eat away at parts of his uniform, revealing his nether region to the staff who were filling in for clergy members? No.”

“You see, Jim was far too proud for any of those things to stop him. No, the thing that got him to finally wear underwear under his suit was jock itch. To be more precise a large persistent rash that developed due to his nether regions being exposed to a moist environment.”

At that a few people, Julie and Gina both looked far too shocked to even know what to say or do in such a situation. Captain Jonston was right to use this part to tell such a story, as this type of story would have been terrible to leak out.

“Now, what he didn’t know, what no one knew was the reason for the rash. See, the instructors at the time had a bet going, that no one could get him to change his ways, that he was too stubborn. In fact, there was even a class wide reward of two three day passes for anyone that could get him to put on and better still keep on underwear. That was the time when a few of us took it upon ourselves to make sure he saw the light. That was when we started coming up with a system to have one person that ran a particular segment the slowest take and clean everyone’s Super suit. That was the first time when Jim never finished last in any course, despite how badly he hurt due to jock itch. Now let me tell you, do you know how hard it is to finish purposefully behind someone who is doing a zombie walk during an obstacle course?” Rayne asked, while throwing her arms out wildly as if she was trying to swim through the air, while taking very short pain filled steps forward, clearly mimicking the way Warder had acted.

“When it was my turn to lose and to take on the role of Super suit cleaner, I had to fake getting lost for an hour.”

Chuckles.

A few of those who gathered laughed at the imagery and story.

“Fortunately, it only took a week for Jim to get the message, to always wear underwear under your uniform, and the rest as they say is that. We all got our three-day passes, well everyone but Warder that is. So yeah, the reason we have such a great clip of Warder was due solely to a bad case of jock itch. What we did was also likely a felony, but I am pretty sure the statute of limitations is over by now, which is why I can now share this story.”

With that Rayne stepped down, letting yet another person come forward and share more memories of Warder.

***

The Viewing went by quickly, each person making sure to add a joke, or a story about how Jim had impacted their lives in some way.

Finally, it was time to leave, Gina for her part just sat idly by, watching as Alexa just stared at the casket. Alexa watched as her mother came up and with a pair of scissors cut off the tuxedo shirt, revealing just Warder in his Super outfit. Then getting the nod from Judy, both Alexa and Luke came up and as one first pulled the now cut shirt from his body. Then as one they all worked to pull his leather mask over his face one last time.

Pausing for a moment, they all looked down at Jim, who would now and forever only be remembered as Warder, the Super who gave his life to protect others.

“This is always the saddest part of these events.” Father Mulcahy said, as he went over to also view the body. The entire thing was a sad moment, but one that everyone seemed to have accepted.

Alexa peered at her mother and was happy to see that none of the faint traces of Void energy still lingered on her. Immediately after the death of her father, Alexa swore she saw faint traces of Void Essence clinging to her. At the time Alexa wouldn’t have known what to do with the foreign energy, it was only now that she had spent time fighting actual beings of the void itself that she felt she would know what to do in such a case. As it was, she just stared down at the corpse of her father, and trembled slightly as she saw the faint, but unmistakable traces of Void Energy being tethered to his body.

The traces of Void Energy were faint, nearly impossible to notice, but they were there. Mentally she reached out, trying to sever the connection with her Absorption power, but it was a fleeting gesture. While she could draw in the energy, she could only do so for a short time. Her first time draining foreign energy was when she had given her own eulogy, during that time she made sure to stay up longer, just to drain away any lingering traces of the vile energy. Now that time had passed, the connection to the corrupting energy had not only returned but had grown stronger. Seeing the signs, Alexa realized that not only were the warnings about an attack happening at the funeral correct, but she now saw the main delivery method for the attack. That or at least one of the delivery methods for the attack. The worst part was her feeling that there was nothing she could do. Well, nothing she could do, other than stay here all night and constantly wear away at this energy tether that somehow was able to come back to her father’s corpse, over and over.

“You okay?” Gina asked.

Looking up from the corpse of her father to Gina, she shook her head. “No,” but she decided to leave it at that, as she still had a lot to prepare for. Tomorrow was big day, first it would be her legacy day, the day where she would come out and identify herself as the daughter of Judge and Warder. It would also be the day when she managed to get revenge on some of the people who dared to strike out against her father. But first, she had to get a few items.

“I’ll be back.” Alexa said, hugging Gina and then leaving the viewing parlor. Once she was out, she quickly put up an Illusionary field to hide her, as she made her way to her next target.