Sadie

My heart starts racing the moment the pilot announces that we will be touching down in the next five minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever been this anxious in my life. Not even when my water broke during labor.

Closing my eyes, I breathe in, then out, but the air gets stuck, and I feel suffocated. I keep reminding myself that things are going to be okay. That I am stronger now. That I don’t have anything to fear.

A hand grabs mine, and I turn to see Raven watching me with worried eyes.

“Are you okay?” she asks, her shifting between mine.

It’s been three years. Three good years, yet the fear of going back to Alec’s pack is still there.

I shake my head and stare at my lap, “No.”

This was so fucking hard. I thought that I’d gotten over my fear. I thought that I was doing okay. I thought that this would be a piece of cake. It isn’t. As much as I try to be strong, that terrified girl from three years ago is still buried inside me. She still shows her head once in a while.

It sometimes makes me wonder if I am indeed strong. If indeed I came out at the top… Or was it all just pretend. Was I lying to myself? Faking it in front of the others, but knowing deep down I’m nothing like I’ve portrayed myself to be.

Nyx’s warmth engulfs me. It feels like being held in a tight and fluffy hug. Despite the love I feel, it does nothing to wipe away the remnant tendrils of fear and agony.

“It’s going to be okay, Sadie,” Raven whispers, trying to assure me.. “This time things are different. This time, you are different.”

Sighing, I take a deep breath, then straighten my back. “You are right. I am different. No one can hurt me.”

“Exactly. No one will hurt you”

Even though it doesn’t drive away the negative feelings, I feel a bit better. I feel a bit in control.

We are jolted forward when the plane lands, and minutes later it comes to a complete stop. After the flight attendant tells we can leave, I unbuckle my seat belt before turning to my baby girl She had fallen asleep about two hours into the flight. She has yet to wake up.

Gently, I pick her up and hold her close to my chest. Her long lashes fanned her cheeks, her pink lips were slightly open and small snores escaped her mouth. It was so cute. Watching her sleep, brought a sense of peace and the turmoil inside me settled.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Do you want me to carry her?” Alec’s voice startles me. I was so focused on Aspen that I didn’t even hear him approach. Harding my tone, I give him a resounding no.

I didn’t understand him honestly. Not that I wanted to, anyway.

I just don’t get why he was bothering. He has never liked me. In fact, he showed just how much he hated me when he threw me into the dungeons without a second thought. Why was he now trying to be part of my life? Part of Aspen’s life?

+ 86%

GON·

change?

Shaking those thoughts away, I by*s*

1 hear him sigh, but it does nothin*g to me. This is on him. None of what happened is my fault. If he had been a little more diligent, a little more merciful, we wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t be missing out on his daughter’s life.

I get outside. I spot the black SUVs and head towards them with Martha and Raven falling in step besides me.

“Sadie?” an elder, who, I don’t remember his name, calls in shock. “You are alive?”

Before I was thrown into prison, I wasn’t really known. Apart from being Piper’s friend, I was basically invisible. My parents were omegas, so I was basically no one. I was insignificant. Because of my case though, I become famous in the pack and not for the right reasons, as you can guess.

Pressing my lips into a thin line, I don’t say anything. It was obvious I was alive, so there was no need to confirm what he could already see.

“How? How is it possible?”

“Elder Martin, it’s good to see you” Alec’s voice interrupts from behind. “Let’s leave, we’ll explain everything once we get to the pack.”

“I don’t think the pack will be receptive to having her around given what she did. They still believe Lola was your mate.” Ah, so Alec’s pack doesn’t know that Lola was a fraud? That’s interesting. I wonder why he hasn’t told them given he knew the truth way before we found out we are mates.

“I’ll explain it to them,” Alec replies dismissively. “There has been a new development.”

Elder Martin looks at him questioningly before he nods his head and moves aside. Unlike before, this time I travel with Alec in the same car. An arrangement that I didn’t like at all.

I was p**d and irritable. The fact that we were getting closer and closer to the pack that brought me so much misery raised my hackles even higher. A very small part of me wanted to run and never look back. I just didn’t know whether it’s because I wanted to escape the pain, I tried so hard to bury or it’s because of the danger I was sensing in the h**

I used to dream of that same voice telling me how he loved me. imagined his voice getting even deeper when he was aroused. I used to imagine that vibration against my c**t when he asked me to look at him while he did dirty things to me with his mouth.

Now that same voice frustrated me and irritated me. It reminded me of how deep and dangerous it got right before he caused me pain while I was locked up. It reminded me of his taunts as I begged him to believe me. If I could shut him permanently so that I didn’t have to listen to him, then I would.

“I just wanted to ask if you are okay”

I scoff at his statement.

“Do I look okay to you?” I hiss. “I’m going back to the one place where I suffered humiliation and you think I’d be happy? Or that I’d be excited to see the pla

up

GON.

Something flashes in his eyes, but he conceals it before I can get a good read.

“I don’t want to fight, Sadie. I’m just wor-”

18+ 85%

I cut him off before he can finish. “Save it, Alec. I’m only here because I want to be free of you. Nothing more, nothing less. We will work together to lift whatever curse your pack is under and after that you’ll accept the rejection. We’ll go separate ways. You’ll find your Lola and you’ll leave me and Aspen alone. Am I clear?”

His jaw clenches, but he doesn’t say anything.

The bond screams against the idea of a rejection. It pushes against the idea of both of us choosing other mates, but ignore it. Too much has already happened between us.

There is a deep and dark past. There is too much pain. I’m bitter, hateful and angry. I doubt I can ever forgive him and let go, so how can there be hope? Besides, Lola is the love of his life. Even if there wasn’t such a heinous past between us, I would come second to her.

I may be a lot of things, but I refuse to be settled for. I come second to none.

The car comes to a stop, and it’s then I realize that we were at the border. This is it. I was back after three years.

Home sweet home (Note the sarcasm).