Chapter 9: Knowet All's Folly

The words dissolved into sparkling flows of power as the center of the rectangle expanded into a circular opening of darkness laced with flickers of left-behind lightning. From the opening, three forms strode onto the path in front of Lord Tom’s manner.

The most prominent and central figure was a man in his middle age of slightly overweight proportions, with an ostentatious fancy-looking robe of a high-quality cut. The robe had patterns embroidered into it that were meant to be arcane but seemed too symmetrical to be done with any artistic leaning. It rather spoiled the effect really.

The man also sported an elegant tri-pointed hat and a rather bushy black beard. His robes were belted with an ornate black leather belt. A mid-sized satchel hung from the belt on one side.

He was flanked on the left by a shorter, slight-looking individual wearing a uniform of decent quality and similar to the outfit sported by the more prominent man. The fae-looking being had several earrings of various types adorning its ears which were rather pointed upon closer examination. The symbols on this person’s clothing seemed embroidered with more of an eye towards contouring the body and lent the air of mysticism the larger ostentatious man seemed to be trying to pull off.

The last figure was of a height with Nixen and had its own prominent red beard and a very slovenly appearance. Their armor was a dinged and scratched set of full black plate. The axe slung on their back had spots of blood drying on it. The beard was snarled, and their eyes were bloodshot.

A rosy nose and cheeks, several bruises on both sides of the face, and a bleeding cut over one eye lent one to believe the new dwarf had just stepped out from a particularly boisterous barroom brawl they had been winning. However, the displeased look also told those present that this dwarf had been enjoying themselves before just now.

Lord Tom Quickly got to his feet and stepped around the camp table, motioning the others to their feet.

Cato and Omara strode to Nixen’s side and waited expectantly, though Cato felt the need to comment on the event,

“About time…”

The newly arrived dwarf belted out at the rogue in a growling voice,

“WHAT WAS THAT NOVICE?!”

Nixen winced at the shout and spoke calmly to their gathered party and the surrounding witnesses to his novice being possibly murdered,

“Everyone, may I present Grand Master Donnie Brisco,”

With a glare for Cato, Nixen continued,

“Leader of the Adventurers Guild. Accompanying them are the Knowet-All Grand Master Zubadiah Beckle and head administrator of the Adventurers Guild, and the puissant Grand Master of the Mages within the guild, Rod Ragweed. These are some of the most important figures you will meet outside of the House of Lords in the entire Kingdom of Keltaire.”

Nixen took a breath after the long list of titles and positions. The dwarf had a severe distaste for politics, as anybody with a modicum of sense should, but knew when the dog-pony needed to be paraded around.

Lord Tom looked to be holding himself in check from trying to attack. However, Captain Lowry had sidled up to his lord and subtly grabbed his belt from behind. It would be inconvenient if Lord Tom was arrested on charges of treason or at least unwarranted assault of a fellow peerage member.

“I know who Beckle is. He’s the man that got my parents killed.”

Beckle spoke up in the silence left by this announcement,

“Nice to see you again, Tommyboy. Try to remember they volunteered for that mission. So kindly refrain from libel. Moving on.”

“Journeyman Nixen. Briefing your team after the fact as usual, or is Novice Cato just that much of an idiot? Did Novice Omara’s “applesaucery”, you’ll be talked to about that one young lady, smash your brain as well?”

Cato had paled at the litany of titles of the people he had most likely just pissed off but asked,

“How did he-”

Beckle cut him off,

“I’m the leader of the Knowets, boy. There isn’t much I don’t know about our guild or the dangers it faces. Your guild seal records most events around you and sends a report daily. Nixen, when we’re done here, you will accompany us back to Purpolis for a full debriefing. Upon your return to the outpost,”

He cast a scathing look at the pale rogue and blushing young mage,

“Where your novices will go immediately following this meeting, you will teach him better manners. Am I clear?”

The dwarf in dark plate spoke up again in a growling voice,

“He’s a pratt, Nixen. We all know that. But this time, he’s right to correct disrespect from a novice. If he hadn’t jumped in I would have given the boy the same. Follow his orders. We’ll talk more in the capitol.”

Nixen elbowed Cato in the thigh to prompt him to respond in unison, and the pair chorused compliance.

“Yes, Grand Master Brisco.”

Zubadiah rolled his eyes at this aside from his colleague and said,

“So glad to see more solidarity from the other guild grandmasters. Are we done being an embarrassment to the guild in front of outsiders?”

Ignoring this byplay, the Mage Grand Master spoke up in a quiet tone,

“Novice Omara, you will not repeat “Applesaucery” or any spell of similar construction effecting the mind before a review of your spells is made upon your return to the outpost and you are briefed upon their consequences. This is your only warning before you are terminated. Lord Tomelein of Adder, apologies for the abruptness, but we all have tasks to complete. Nixen, you called this meeting. Report.”

Omara paled significantly at this casual threat of murder. She staggered slightly backward and looked to be on the verge of fainting. In an uncharacteristic show of support, Cato lent her an arm to steady her feet.

Nodding at the Grandmaster Mage’s words, Nixen passed the start of the tale to Lord Tom, who asked Farmer Jenkins to recount the sightings of the interlopers on his land, along with their description.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

During the farmer recounting the sightings occurring months before being attacked, Zubadiah smiled and cut in to ask,

“Lord Adder, why were these sightings not reported to us earlier? We have procedures to prevent infestations from taking root for a reason.”

Farmer Jenkins had an expression of shame at his lord’s discomfort as Lord Tom responded,

“The attack was the first threat brought to my attention, Master Beckle. We knew of the sightings, but based upon behavior observed by farmer Jenkins they were deemed a non-threat. You already know we are a newer settlement. Are we to run screaming to the guild about every semi-intelligent animal that pesters a farmer? You would get no rest.”

“He did report the initial sighting of them. However, they were classified at the time as a nuisance level threat, and other matters took precedence.”

Zubadiah retorted,

“Nonsense. Obviously the reports of a farmer uneducated in the ways of monsters in the world would have no idea what to report to your guard, Lord Tom.”

Farmer Jenkins looked outraged at this as his face turned red,

“Now see here-”

Cutting Jenkins off, the large, pompously portly pissant of a man stroked his bushy beard in an overt and too dramatic way as if in thought as he ignored the farmer’s outburst as if he had never spoken at all.

“This is a failure on your part to take your duties seriously. As a Noble, you are to care for your charges to include educating them on their duties. Since you lack the foresight to have your Luciloos investigate a matter of this gravity promptly, I must take steps to correct the oversight.”

The guild leader responsible for the mages rolled his large, glittering eyes and said,

“Zubadiah, you ass. Get on with whatever you’re scheming.”

The knowet’s face soured only slightly before he continued,

“It is apparent that your general populace lacks experience in identifying threats from the monsters that plague our fair kingdom. I will rectify this lack through an education program for them, as part of your quota in the national draft, of course. At the completion of their education, they will be stationed here in Adder County.”

Lord Tom opened his mouth to object. Beckle ran over him with more words.

“Farmer Jenkins, you will report to Purpolis for induction into the guild for a period of service of no less than two years, your taxes will be covered by the guild during this time. After you are inducted, you will be accelerated to apprentice status in our new experimental training program. A missive containing any pertinent changes to standard training procedures will be delivered to Lord Adder’s manor house this evening.”

“Perhaps being on the front lines against the country’s beasts will keep you more vigilant in reporting dangers to your fellow sapients after you’ve been properly educated on what those are, of course.”

“Lord Tom, if Novice Jenkins has survi-graduates, you will provide another citizen of your choice to replace him in training. This program will continue until we have educated…no less than ten percent of your populace.”

Everyone in Lord Tom’s retinue broke out in anger at this pronouncement,

Jenkins,

“Now see here, I gave my oath to Lord Tom, not you, you pompous-”

Captain Lowry,

“My villagers sent where-”

Joclyn,

“Our villagers sent to fight-”

Captain Lowry looked startled at Joclyn’s dismay until he realized the little shit was probably concerned about the potentially lost taxes, then he remembered the bit about taxes being covered. It seemed the money-grubber did care, surprising.

Lord Tom waived his group to silence before responding coldly,

“I see your heavy-handed pronouncements haven’t changed, Zubadiah. First, they got my parents killed, and now you try to steal one of my most prosperous farmers and imperil the smooth operation of my county.”

Lord Tom decided a riposte was needed.

“Why was the migration that complicated a simple sweep not announced to the party before they left the outpost? Three dead, and a third of my guard lamed from that oversight.”

Zubadiah didn’t blink at the retort, and his response was snapped out without delay,

“That was a failure of the Knowet at the outpost not updating the protocols on the guild seals in accordance with guild policy. He has been reprimanded, the updates have been applied, and the weregild for your guard has been transferred to your account with the guild.”

“As for your parents, they knew the cost of advancing without support into that dungeon and saved hundreds with their sacrifice. My orders and information dissemination are what’s best for all. I know it.”

Grand Master Donnie made yapping motions with his hand, ignored by the pontificating Knowet All.

“I was elected to this position by a majority vote of the guild’s members in good standing and the noble court. The king ratifies our charter every five years. If you take issue with my administration, submit the proper appeals to my decisions at the quarterly audience with the king.”

Lord Tom’s hand tightened on the hilt of his dagger as he leaned forward as if to advance on the man. Lowry leaned back slightly, holding tight to the belt of his lord.

Grand master Donnie’s growl came out as if dragged by a kindly angry skunk,

“Lord Tom, Don’t pay that price. I don’t like him, but he’s right to make these decrees…about the farmer, I mean. For the wrong reasons. But you see the value of having some of your villagers trained by us. Nixen, did you not expect something like this when you requested the grand masters attend a simple sweep debriefing?”

Nixen sighed again and replied,

“I had hoped that the gravity of the situation would curtail political maneuvering by our illustrious Knowet-all. That’s on me. Apologies, Lord Tom. Farmer Jenkins.”

Farmer Jenkins looked desperately at his Lord. Tom’s jaw was clenched tight as he glared at the Knowet-all bit of his fury spilled into a look at the dwarven paladin.

Through gritted teeth, he addressed his bonded man,

“Farmer Jenkins, you will report to Purpolis for induction into the Adventurers Guild for a period of no more than two years. Your land will be held in trust and tended by the farmhands you have in your service their pay to be handled by my house. All taxes and dues will be held in deferment during your service, upon which at its completion you will be paid the full amount owed as recompense. You have until tomorrow morning to put your affairs in order, you will be in Purpolis within the week.”

The pronouncement rattled Jenkins’s ordinarily calm demeanor. The farmer’s head was spinning at the speed his life had just been upended. Little choice was available if he didn’t want to be executed for treason for defying a direct order from the Lord of Red Adder County. He looked bleakly at the group that had just doomed him and said,

“Yes, M'lord. I’ll be off to the farm to let Jack know. May I request a private audience this evening, My lord?”

Lord Tom nodded curtly while not taking his eyes from the Knowet-all’s face,

“Granted, I will explain further at that time.”

Captain Lowry looked at the farmer with sympathy and said,

“We’ll see the Luciloos get you to the capitol safely, Jenkins.”

Jenkins nodded numbly and turned to shuffle off toward his soon-to-be former home.

The Knowet-all had his own eyes locked to Lord Tom’s with a smirk on his face. He waved in a smarmy manner at Nixen and said,

“Please, continue with this grave matter that required the attention of three of your Grandmasters to be in attendance for a simple briefing.”

Nixen replied calmly,

“I believe that Lord Tom was interrupted giving background information on his reasons for calling for a sweeping quest. Maybe this time, he can give us his side of the story without stupid questions or political maneuvering getting in the way.”

Beckle snorted, then kept silent, for a while.