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Alan Buys the Universe [LitRPG]
Chapter 3 - Get to the Portal!

Chapter 3 - Get to the Portal!

Lucius stopped at the end of the Orange Saro cave and twisted his hand, causing the black film protecting the exit to swirl open.

Alan peeked through to see the townsfolk still rowdy from Flint’s accusations, half of which probably wanted to kill him because they think he’s a rival god’s scout. He wondered if Mujungo enjoyed this kind of chaos.

“Can they see inside?” Alan asked, steeling himself for another attack.

“No, only we can see them.”

“Like a one-way mirror.” Alan smirked. “We had one of those at the shop.”

Lucius peered over his shoulder, long jaw clenched, letting the film swirl closed. “Are you ready to perform your humiliations?”

“If it will get me one foot out of this place, yes.”

“That’s the spirit.” Lucius pulled two black essences from his bag – resembling small dull stars tethered to his palm – and compressed them in his hands. “This will feel… different,” he said, then tossed a net of black light over Alan.

His vision went greyscale, and when he tried to scream, his voice was smothered to a breathless croak. It felt like thousands of tiny needles pricked his skin at once. Then in an instant, the pain vanished.

“Relax, friend. I am simply shrouding you so we can escape the crowd undetected.” Lucius appeared fully armored, though his shape had become less definite – like a shade. His eyes were now pupil-less and his whispery voice echoed far. “Follow me.” He rushed beyond the black film of the exit, and Alan tentatively followed.

To his surprise, the cave film didn’t try to swallow him, but rather let him through. It made him wonder if the shroud was the same essence as the door.

Alan stepped foot outside again, this time fully clothed and gratefully without a caterpillar gnawing at his back. He eyed the powerful warriors shouting theories about how to conquer their imminent threats. Apparently the town would soon be under siege… and not for the first time.

“A bridge portal from Yasuva or Jaeger spells the end of our town!” A woman with a samurai ponytail jabbed her blades into the ground to accentuate her point. “Soon, the nightmare of our clairvoyant frogs will ring true – a hoard of blue-fog monsters will stampede to crush everything we’ve come to love!”

Alan gritted his teeth at that. As if Strangey Town wasn’t bad enough. The last thing he needed was for it to become a hostile bloodbath.

Flint was high above them in his oversized robes – near a strange statue of a boy wearing a feathered headdress – face-to-face with a pale-white man floating midair.

Then there was Liustad across the way – the Archer Alan called out in front of the entire square. He and his entourage still fumed while stepping over splinters of his shattered counterfeit bow. Was he searching for Alan?

Although Alan wanted to remain as a fly on the wall to better understand the town’s problems, the prospect of being impaled by arrows was all the more reason to keep moving.

“Hurry. This shroud is timed,” Lucius’ voice carried, and Alan glimpsed his shadowy form disappear outside the cul-de-sac.

Alan grimaced and rushed to follow. The twinkling eye-level stars he evaded when he first awakened in the reggae forest were terrifying in greyscale. They had faces. Of course, they had faces—angry ones. And they spun in place while staring directly at him. When he got too close, a mouth opened and a long finger sprung out to try and poke him.

Fucking, Mujungo, Alan scoffed to himself as he sprinted.

As soon as he made the turn, Lucius snapped his fingers and removed the shroud. The colors of Strangey Town popping back into place made Alan squint until his eyes adjusted.

“What is your task?”

Alan shut his eyes and willed the message up in his mind. “I have to find the Black Sand.”

“Dammit. That’s hideaway sand.” Lucius shook his head.

“Hard to find?”

“No, hard to grasp. Come.”

They ran outside of the white-stone streets and onto white sand that stung Alan’s skin like salt. He looked back at the town square he hardly had a chance to take in. It was tucked between two low mountains with a lake on its horizon. If everything surrounding it wasn’t out of a crazy circus, it might’ve been peaceful… Something worth fighting for, like that samurai woman said.

He digressed when the clouds above contorted into bloated-cheeked whistling faces. The bongo mountains in the distance also picked up a beat.

The path ahead was full of fish-heads permanently swimming upward in place, sticking out of the salt as if trying to escape. The scary part was, their bodies were human except for the endless gills flapping in the wind.

“Uh, Lucius?”

“Follow my lead exactly. We have to get far away before one of Liustad’s hunters finds your scent.” He charged one of the fish-headed men and leapt just before he would’ve crashed straight into it. He grabbed onto air like it was a zipline and flipped off to keep running – salt kicking up everywhere.

Alan’s heart pumped hard. If he slowed down, he’d lose all momentum, and if he missed the slipstream, he’d probably get eaten.

As he approached the fish-head, he leapt high. For an instant, he saw the pole of fast-moving air and grasped on with both hands. He did a split to avoid the fish’s big bubbly lips, and let go to awkwardly crash into the sand.

Lucius was so far ahead now it seemed hopeless.

Damn… Alan got up and dusted himself, refusing to give up.

The next few hops came easier, and he held on until the end of each slipstream to cover more ground. His knees hurt after every fall, but it was okay, he was making progress. What’s better, each step meant more distance between him and the Archer trying to kill him.

Lucius awaited him on the other side of a hard line that separated the bright salt and a field of black sand.

Alan snaked himself off the last slipstream, landing mere feet away from Lucius.

“Not bad.” He folded his arms. “You’re starting to adapt.”

“Yes, wonderful,” Alan said sarcastically. “Are we far enough away now?”

“Let’s hope.”

As soon as Alan crossed over the line, he instantly felt lighter, like he was in zero gravity. He flailed as his feet lifted slightly from the ground.

Lucius smirked, eyes following him.

“Help!”

“This section of Strangey Town is known as the Essence of Mujungo. So long as you’re not interacting with another citizen, you can simply will your desires into existence. Many citizens use it to test their Saro connection. The closer you are linked to your affinity, the easier time you have here. Let’s start with basics. Envision stones at the bottom of your feet.”

Alan furrowed his brow, and focused on how light his body had become – like a balloon that could float on forever. The thought terrified him. As soon as he imagined thick chain links tied around his ankles, a tingling sensation tickled the back of his head.

He opened his eyes again to see himself still floating upward.

Shit.

A stroke of panic took over, then flailing.

“You must be calm when things don’t go your way, Alan.” Lucius now had to tilt his head back to look up at him.

Alan gritted his teeth and shut his eyes, trying harder to activate whatever was inside him.

The tingling grew more intense, spreading from his head and down his neck like a clawing talon. But as soon as high altitude wind smacked him, he panicked again.

C’mon, Alan. All you have to do is think. That’s not so hard.

An image of his ex-girlfriend leaving his apartment with her suitcases packed stirred something visceral inside him. She thought him a deadbeat who wanted nothing more than to sell weird things for little commission for the rest of his life.

She believed he’d passed up all the opportunities that came his way.

His family thought the same… Wanting him to step up and get a career.

“You’re too smart to do nothing, Alan,” Trish would always say.

Alan never felt he was wasting his time. There was nothing wrong with caring for a shop. And he was good at what he did. He was meant for it.

Maybe because he was always destined to be a Merchant here…

No. You have to get home.

The wind slapped his face harshly as he gained altitude. If he let this get out of hand, he would die a second time. And being in this place guaranteed it would be in the weirdest way possible.

You’re a thousand pounds, Alan. You’re a thousand goddamn pounds!

The feeling of falling took hold. His stomach lifted into his chest, air rushing into his nose.

Boom!

He crashed so hard into the sand his body was half submerged.

Dammit.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

He patted himself to make sure he was still intact. Sick of all the games and frustrated with his own thoughts, Alan refocused on the task at hand: his stupid quest of making a mouth-made sand fountain. Opening his mouth wide, he bit down on a mound. Only for the morsels to rush away from him, laughing like little kids with a toy he couldn’t have.

“What the hell, Lucius!”

“Told you it was hard to grasp.” He shrugged.

Alan huffed, then shut his eyes. He was beginning to understand what made his body tingle. It was the magical affinity of Saro everyone here possessed. Flint explained it was a force emitted from their bodies, generated from their Origin Worlds. Alan surmised the stronger the connection to his past life, the more potent the effects would be here.

He recalled pain from failing out of college for refusal to show up… his mother’s disappointment. The joys of making a big sale at the shop, purchases he grabbed at a steal. It bloomed the Saro connection Lucius was on about, and when it hit the pinnacle of sensation inside him, Alan envisioned his mouth as a vacuum. When he opened his eyes, he heard the same kids screaming as morsels failingly tried to get away from him. Before he knew it, his mouth was stuffed with jittery sand. He cocked his head up and spit it out all over his face like a fountain.

Mujungo enjoyed watching you almost get sucked on by fish-heads.

He especially likes that you’re playing along.

Teeheehee.

1/20 Targeted Humiliations – Living Fountain

Alan crawled out of the pit and spat out the last of the sand. “There, I did it.”

The Stalker nodded. “Your connections are deeply engrained. I knew my feeling was right about you. We will journey to our homes together, Alan Right. But first… your humiliations.”

Alan scoffed. “I seriously have to do that nineteen more times?” He stared blankly at Lucius. “You mind turning around? This is mortifying.”

“We all start here naked and afraid. It is humbling, in a sense,” Lucius replied.

That made Alan suspicious. “You sound like Flint… Going along with our crazed god.” He looked up to the clouds turning into surprised faces that spun in place.

“Nonsense. We are playthings if we want to advance in Ojin. Mujungo is the only way for us to survive.”

“Turn around.”

“It is better that I don’t. Your task is to be humiliated. How better than to have audience?”

Alan huffed.

“Your standings with Mujungo will increase this way, and your initial weapon will be that much more powerful,” Lucius assured.

“Fine.” Alan imagined his mouth a vacuum again, and tried to block out the idea that he was potentially eating little sand children.

“Ahh!” the morsels screamed, becoming muffled in his mouth.

He spat it out like before, the screen in his mind showing he had eighteen to go.

Lucius shook his head.

“What?” Alan spread his arms.

“This plane warps with your thoughts. Be creative.”

“Says you. You look like you never cracked a joke in your life.” Alan was getting annoyed, and anxious.

“This isn’t my task.” Lucius tilted his head.

Stubbornly, Alan vacuumed the sand again and lazily spit it overhead, only to hear the mountains in the distance ‘boo!’ at him. The clouds began conversing with one another and pointing down at Alan. The faces formed into letters – ‘boring!’

“Told you,” Lucius said smugly. “Mujungo thrives on awkwardness, not cowardice.”

Alan grimaced, staring straight up at the clouds. “Is this what you want?” he shouted, his voice echoing at all different pitches.

On every turn, Strangey Town was mocking him.

He scoffed and thought hard about having the mouth of a frog. He ribbited accidently and shot out a long sticky tongue straight at Lucius, who caught it in his dark glove grip.

Orange vapor exhaled out of his armored hand as he squeezed down on Alan’s tongue. “Don’t let the god’s power control you.”

“Let go.” Alan winced, his voice muffled. As soon as he interacted with Lucius, he felt the tingling sensation nearly evaporate.

Snap!

The tongue rolled quickly back into his mouth and the sensation returned. “You told me to be ridiculous! Ribbit!”

“Yes, like Mujungo. Controlled chaos,” Lucius said.

Alan squared his shoulders and peered down at the taunting sand doing cartwheels to avoid his eyes.

Controlled chaos, he considered, thinking back to when he first met Flint flailing around in circles. Mujungo liked the embellished noises – like he was in a Shakespearian play performing for an audience.

“Come here, my pretty!” Alan proclaimed, licking his lips. His mouth opened abnormally wide and his tongue snapped a mouthful of sand. Wasting no time, he pranced while spitting the sand all over himself.

“Ah hah! Ah hah!” The mountains laughed in the distance, which Alan imagined as Mujungo enjoying himself.

Alan whipped his tongue around his entire body and rolled into the dirt, envisioning himself as a slimy steamroller. When he wriggled upright, he unraveled his tongue like a tape measure, sending black sand spiraling into the air.

The mountains cheered, shooting confetti out of their tops.

That was… kinda fun.

Alan couldn’t explain it, but he felt mentally lighter by letting loose and performing. He didn’t realize how awkwardly wide his smile was until his gaze landed on Lucius once more. He forgot his friend was there for a second.

“Frightening, isn’t it?” Lucius raised his eyebrows.

Alan tightened his jaw, some of the elation fading.

“He allows us joy when we act like him.”

“I felt like a kid with no woes,” Alan admitted.

“It’s a drug for some. And if not careful, you may one day opt to become part of Mujungo’s world.”

“And wind up like those fish-heads?” Alan surmised.

“Precisely.”

“Yeah, no thank you.”

“Glad you still have your wits about you.” Lucius nodded. “It’s a good sign.”

Alan was being tested on every turn. First Flint, now Lucius, and at all times… Mujungo. He didn’t like it one bit. In fact, he was looking forward to the dangers of Ojin, and being farther from Strangey Town’s grasp. He figured he might come to regret that desire, but not yet.

For now, he had to indulge to get something of value and ultimately defend himself, so that’s what he was going to do.

The next ten humiliations were more ridiculous than the last – imagining his arms as black-sand-eating snakes, himself as a swimmer cutting through the sand with a motor on his back, his body as a sand magnet. It all worked. All of the clouds formed together overhead to make one gigantic face that watched on with hypnotically swirling eyes.

And on the twentieth humiliation, a bell donged in his head. The Black Sand shook, all things moving except for Lucius – who watched on deadpan as the world quaked.

“Are you seeing this?” Alan threw out his hands for balance.

“Your perception is your reality here. It doesn’t always coincide with others’.”

Alan winced as the mountains in the distance trembled uncontrollably, and the black sand at his feet waved like water in an ocean.

A star of dark light twinkled directly above him, and the world stopped spinning. It lowered toward Alan, who held out his hands to receive it.

The light transformed into the shape of a dagger. It sizzled, yet felt cold. The starlight then peeled off of the weapon like melted butter, leaving cool liquid dripping between Alan’s fingertips.

He stared at the inscribed steel in awe, analyzing designs of no language he’d ever known. The hilt was wrapped in dried purple gum and the blade itself seemed to be salivating from the point.

Alan frowned at his new weapon. “Seriously?”

Congratulations, Alan Right!

Mujungo wants you for his salt garden. He thinks you will make a fine fish-head.

All you have to do is say the word.

Teeheehehe.

20/20 Humiliations Complete

Dagger of Gibberish received.

Original Saro – Yellow

+Bonus Saro – Blue

He inspected the blade with disgust, then caught himself falling into a trance.

A weapons smith hummed as he forged the dagger, tucked away somewhere in a rustic tower. Alan noticed the sun in this vision was a pale yellow, and wondered whether the setting took place in another realm. It couldn’t have been Strangey Town. The environment outside the smith’s window was too calm. Unless… Mujungo didn’t always rule.

Bang.

The weapons smith smashed the molten blade, twisted it, and smashed again.

It looked normal, so far, until the bearded man pulled out a purple substance from his mouth.

Ugh, the hilt really is gum. Alan sighed to himself and kept on.

Next, the weapons smith rummaged around his shelf and pulled out a box that resembled a mini coffin. He rested his head against it and mumbled a prayer. Maybe it was a pet?

The smith pressed the box over the molten dagger, turning the coffin into Yellow Saro that blinded Alan. Next thing he knew, the dagger cooled with the same inscriptions he noticed earlier.

Alan registered the Saro enchanting the blade to be more potent than Flint’s. And the steel was from an ominous crypt thousands of feet below Ojin.

The smith laughed in glee and danced.

“Is that you in there, Sir Ooman? I missed you!” He picked up the dagger and swung it.

“Jararoo!” the dagger spat.

The smith eyed the weapon in dismay. “Sir Ooman?” He swung again, and again, only for more nonsense to spout out, followed by dribble.

Time fast-forwarded, showing the smith trying desperately to learn the language of his fallen pet. He went mad trying to understand – Alan could tell by his mannerisms and crazed eyes – and eventually passed away from forgetting to eat.

The blade was later found by a race of small brown goblins who idolized the dagger. Whenever it spat, they spat. Whenever it spouted nonsense, they spouted nonsense. Shrines were erected, and eventually the dagger was sacrificed to Mujungo.

Alan returned from his trance out of breath. An epiphany hit him hard.

He thought the gods were granting weapons and upgrades from the whims of creation. Not… recycling.

Mujungo gets his items from… people?

Alan winced and stared at the dagger. He crushed the mushy gum when he grasped the hilt, and swung it to test the truth of his vision.

“Yabroo! Mapooshroo!” The dagger even rolled its ‘r’s.

Alan noticed a faint yellow and blue glow circling the weapon, then a flash of many colors.

“Hmm.” Lucius paced up to him. “I just glimpsed Variant Saro. You are Colorless?”

Alan nodded curtly, not sure whether he was revealing something too soon. But he figured it was better to not lie to the one who just saved his ass.

“The weakest of all Saro,” Lucius said solemnly.

Alan deflated.

“Yet the one with the potential to understand all.”

A portal lined with bubbly green essence swirled into existence in front of them – wind pulling their hair toward it. An expansive drum of the void made it hard to hear anything else. And every time the green essence switched directions, fog shot out of the center.

Lucius peered quietly at it, unaffected. “The Realm of Ojin calls.”

“That’s what we wanted, right?” Alan whipped the blade into a magically formed hilt on his belt. “Let’s go.”

“I’m afraid this is where we part.”

“What? Why?” Alan shouted over the void.

“There are rules in Ojin. The realm is not kind to power-rushers. If I journey with you on your first visit, the realm will sense that I’m trying to rush you to advancement. The result? We will both be inundated with monsters meant to crush us as punishment.”

Alan stared blankly at Lucius. “You know this for a fact? Or is it another one of those Stone Chaser theories?”

“I lost a fellow Stalker to it. Even though we all knew the rules… she sought to test them herself.”

“She died?” Alan asked.

“Yes.”

Alan bit his lip. “I’m sorry.”

Lucius waved the sorrow away. “Listen, Alan. Clear as much fog as you can in there, and if you get into trouble, call Mujungo in your mind, hopefully he will pull you back.”

“What if… I don’t want to come back?” Alan leaned into his hope.

“Everyone comes back, or they die,” Lucius said. “Don’t play the hero so soon, Alan Right. Be cautious in your movements, and intelligent in your decisions.”

The portal bellowed.

“I’ve already said too much.”

“There you are!” A familiar voice startled Alan and Lucius out of the conversation.

The jumping sand calmed to flat dirt, and Lucius drew two short-swords that unclicked from his gauntlets.

It was Liustad and his entourage.

Shit!

“Take the leap of faith, Alan, and get out of here,” Lucius warned, molten Orange Saro crisscrossing over his arms to empower his blades.

“Step aside, Lucius. I should have you detained for harboring a spy. You always shy away from your duties, but I never dared to think you treasonous.” Liustad nocked a magically-infused arrow and pointed it straight at Alan. “Not another step, imposter! You are to remain in this realm for further questioning.”

“Mind yourself, fraud.” Lucius pointed his blade at Liustad.

Alan froze, wondering if he could use his Saro connection to thwart the arrow if it came his way. Or perhaps he could dive into the portal before it connected. But then… he would leave his friend to fight three Archers by himself.

Frustration started to build, then anger from being reminded of the crazed Archer who murdered him. His first life felt so unfinished. And now his second one would be cut short if he didn’t play his cards right.

“That old Wizard can’t save you now.” Liustad smiled behind his bow.

Fshew!

The arrow released – a cone of green gas circling around it.

Lucius dashed into a blur and cut the arrow in half. It happened so fast, Alan didn’t have time to react. They locked eyes as the green gas puffed away on either side of him.

“Get out, and gain strength, Alan. To Ojin.”

Alan clenched his jaw, fighting the winds of the portal beckoning him. “No, Lucius. I can fight.”

“Not yet, you can’t! Go!”

“Lucius!”

“You think a fraud can take me down?” He effortlessly swiped another arrow out of the air. “Political hacks, all of them. They hide in Strangey Town for fear of Ojin. Cowards!”

A flurry of arrows came next.

“Become what you are meant to, Alan. We will find our way home!”

The portal grew more intense, steam overwhelming the void in the center. A shiver crawled down his spine as the idea of mortality washed over him.

I won’t let Lucius’ efforts be in vain.