'What the hell?' was my first thought when I woke up to a high-pitched scream mere metres away from where I was asleep.
Thinking something was wrong, I quickly stood up and looked around while trying to shake off the remaining fugue. I looked around the library wondering where the noise was coming from and found Sarah, one of my classmates, being consoled by a couple of her friends.
“What are you screaming about?”
“You touched my butt when I was walking past! What you mean ‘what are you screaming about’ you pervert?” she screamed in my face.
“I was asleep on the couch, how the could I do that and why would I do that?” I asked, still confused about the situation.
“I don’t know what goes through your head orphan” she said while dragging out the last word.
“Absolutely delusional” I mutter while grabbing my bag from next to the couch and turning around straight into the chest of a campus security guard.
“Ow why are you standing there?” I ask.
“We heard reports of harassment at this location, please come with us” said the security guard.
“I’m not going with you anywhere. I haven’t done anything wrong. They woke me up while I was taking a nap and started screaming saying I molested her or something? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh so you did molest her, come with us” he said while grabbing my arm and dragging me away, leaving me baffled as to how he came to that conclusion.
Next thing I know I’m sitting in the Dean’s office while waiting for them to come in. Looking around the somewhat small single office, I notice Dean Rottendam’s hardwood desk covered in papers and forms as well as a single skewed monitor on the right-hand side of the desk.
Glancing around further I see rows of bookshelves covered in a dust showing they are more for image than use.
Hearing the door behind me open I see a portly mid 50’s man I immediately recognise as the Dean and straighten myself up in the chair.
“So, Amari, I hear you thought it was okay to play grabass as a grown adult. As the person who signed off your scholarship, I seriously expected better from you.” He said while making his way to his desk.
“Dean Rottendam, I didn’t do anything of the sort. All I know is that I woke up to hear Sarah screaming and accusing me of harassment. Check the cameras and you’ll see I was asleep the whole time” I said.
“Unfortunately, it appears the cameras were either pointing the wrong way or were under maintenance at that time young Mr Khan. As it’s the victim and three witnesses against just you, I’m more inclined to take Sarah’s side on this, as is the administration.”
“This is completely bullshit and you know it Dean, she’s never liked me because an orphan made it into a university normally reserved for those socialite elites. Nearly all of her complaints against me have been completely fabricated.”
“And that’s the problem right there. ‘Nearly all’ gives the administration enough of an excuse to push for this one being taken seriously, not to mention Sarah’s uncle being on the board.”
I slump down in my chair, feeling defeated at the outcome and wondering how things ended up like this.
“Go home Amari, we both know you don’t belong at a place like this. Find a job, rent an apartment and live a mediocre life like you were meant to. The administration will put out the results of their investigation soon and will email you with the results.” He said while looking away.
Getting the message, I stand up, take a breath, and walk out of the office knowing my life had been ruined by someone’s moment of malice.
Walking through the streets to my dingy studio apartment and picking up a case of beer I wonder how things ever turned out like this. I got through school with exemplary grades, managed to get a scholarship to one of the best universities in all of California, and was only a year away from getting my degree in computer science.
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At around 2 in the afternoon, I get home, I throw myself onto the couch, open a beer, and wallow in my own melancholy. I go to put on some music to drown out the thoughts and see a new email come in from the university.
[From: Caltech Administration]
[To: Amari Khan]
[Subject: Notice of Expulsion]
[Dear Amari Khan,
We would like to inform you of the results of our investigation into the sexual harassment case you were involved in. After reviewing the evidence available and cross examining with witness and victim accounts, we have found there to be enough evidence to firmly ascertain that you were in fact guilty of the accusations.
As a result of the investigation, and as outlined in our rules, we are compelled to make the difficult decision to expel you from the university and bar your return for any studies. Please also note that along with this decision and the nature of the incident, we have also informed most higher learning institutions around the country of this incident.
Regarding the scholarship awarded at the start of your studies, we will be requiring full repayment which can be discussed with our finance officers. Further information will be made available in an email soon to discuss repayment options.
By the end of the week, please return your student ID and any material, property, or other items owned by the university to the main security desk.
Due to the nature of the incident, the evidence involved and testimonies from our students, no option for appeal is being considered in this case.
We wish you the best for your future endeavours.
Kind regards,
Caltech Administration]
‘It hasn’t even been three hours since it happened, and they’ve already closed the case? They’ve even told other universities about it. What the hell?’ I think to myself while downing yet another beer.
“This is bullshit!” I yell at the top of my lungs to whoever may be listening, throwing a half empty beer can at the crumbling wall.
I take some time look around my dingy studio apartment, seeing crumbling walls, a barebones kitchen, the old fridge I got as a gift from the orphanage when I moved out, a table covered in textbooks and a bed barely being held together by haphazardly hammered nails.
*Ring ring*
I pick up my phone to see a call from an unknown number. Curious, I answer.
“Amari here, who are you and what do you want?”
“Hi Amari, this is Jane from the finance office of Caltech, I’m calling to discuss possible repayment options for your scholarship.”
“Of course, you call on the same day I was falsely accused and demand money, what news have you got” I say, reaching for another beer and opening it.
“I’m afraid I can’t comment on the disciplinary process, however we have a few options for repayment. The first is a lump sum where the entirety of the scholarship is paid back. The second is a repayment plan based on an average income scale of our past students, and the third is an income-based percentage from all future earnings until such time as the scholarship is paid back. Please note that the second and third options will incur an interest rate which has been requested by the administration to be… Yikes.”
“What do you mean ‘yikes?’”
“It appears the administration has asked for an interest rate of 15% for any repayments of your scholarship. Just who did you offend to get this?”
“Who knows, how long do I have to make a decision?”
“So long as we have a decision and first payment within 3 months from now there will be no issues Mr Khan.”
“Can I get back to you another day? As you can imagine it’s been extremely stressful for me, and I don’t think I should make these decisions while drinking.”
“Certainly, I’ll email through the information needed to your email as well as a deadline for the final decision which would be around mid-December of this year, given it’s currently mid-September.”
“Sure thanks, see you later” I say as I hang up the phone and toss it onto the couch.
I think back on my life, realising I was nothing but a dreamer hoping that I could turn the stereotypes around. But without any support and nobody to give me a backing which I could fall upon there was little hope of any positive outcome.
I waste hours drinking, swearing, and reflecting on my past until the sun sets and the Pasadena skyline is lit by the harsh streetlights.
‘So, I have nothing and now I’m over $300,000 in debt. Fuck this’ I think to myself as I stand up and walk to my apartment door.
Staggering up the stairs while sipping on the last beer in the case, I reach the roof and stare down at the pavement a dozen stories below, wondering how comforting the final sleep will be.
A poem from deep in my memory comes to mind which I recite while gazing over the edge.
“Oh, how wonderful it is to fly,
Reaching the freedom for which we all yearn.
This life of sorrow is one we all spurn,
But this freedom is one granted, not earnt.
Without one by your side to ground,
Your wings may be lost not found.
May the angels above watch me die,
As I finally spread my wings and learn to fly”
I look up to the stars while trying to gain the courage to take the last step of a long, laborious life and notice a blue dot rapidly growing larger and larger in my sight. As it grows larger, I whisper, “What the fuck is that?”
I realise the dot isn’t getting larger, it’s getting closer. I try to see what it is before I feel an impact and black out, my last thoughts being penetrated by a cold unfeeling voice.
Akashic Development System commencing binding System placing host into forced coma