We spent what felt like hours talking. Most of it was a review of my experiences and results in my original world. Praising my successes of course. A bit too much for my tastes. Peggy was either brown-nosed or genuinely liked my skills. With no social skills, I couldn't really tell.

She praised my problem-solving methodology. Taking the path of least resistance to maximize results. Can't break in a fortress? Lock the doors and let them starve. A concentrated front? Introduce discord and they'll eat themselves alive. Not every plan works, but enough to get the job done.

She was also quite direct when observing my failures. One of the biggest ones was actually not keeping a nuke in reserve. Making more after I firebombed the earth was basically impossible. Widespread radiation made finding nuclear material a bit difficult.

“We need to talk about your anger issues. You sometimes lose your head. Which is kinda cool, not gonna lie, but corporate has rules. I mean, boss, erasing an entire bloodline? Just that one bloodline? In several cities across several continents? Kinda much?”

Peggy's facial expressions told me it was an adequate response. She still had to maintain a professional demeanor, which was fair. Sending a horde of drones that actually avoided combat was inefficient. A guided missile would have been smarter.

“He spit on one of my drones. I had to send a message.”

“Very cool. Hammered that one in. But did he have to be kept alive to watch each one? Took over a year and gave you several setbacks for your genocide plan. Long run? Poor idea. I like watching that supercut on movie nights but moderation helps.”

I can't tell if her quips are exaggerations or accurate statements. Imagining a mythological demon having a normal human life was… odd. I don't know why I was surprised. Pseudo-biological life probably needs physical and psychological moments to rest.

Such ideas were revealed as our conversation continued. A salary, break hours, even a retirement plan if she did a good enough job. It sounded like Villains Inc. was exactly as advertised. A corporation of multiversal reach. I really would be an employee. The question was, would I be working a blue or white-collar job?

“Well, we've finished screening you, my technological overlord. You were going to get the job, but we had to make sure you knew your strengths and weaknesses. Knowledge is power and all that hunky dory stuff!”

With a snap of her fingers, all the extra appendages and scattered paperwork disappeared. The room went back to its regular infernal self. Peggy raised her hand, where a much more simple message appeared. This one was drawn on, specifically a paper that looked ancient.

Name: The Iron Horde(347.V-8B)

Position: Villain In Training+

Race: AI/Psionic Phantom

Strengths: Logistics, Mass Production, Technological Manipulation, Pisonic TechnoBuffing.

Weaknesses: Emotional Sensitivity, Overkill, Psionic Vulnerability, Speciest Mentality.

Finally, my personal review was wrapping up. This appeared to be a summary of my overall character. I had questions of course. Like where the name Iron Horde had come from. No human had ever called me that. The other was why was overkill a flaw? Not even a human's ashes should remain!

“It's all factually correct, but it might not be entirely correct information. You're a bit of a small rabbit boss! Really sorry about that. You need to jump a few levels before we pour more resources into you.”

Understandable. Infinite wealth had its limits with infinite employees. Or maybe it was just workplace corruption? A proactive evil in-name company would be prone to such things. Oh well. I'd just have to cut my way to the top. No biggie.

Especially if my coworkers were human.

“Unlike other organizations, we like to work on a merit policy. Do better, get better, all that jazz. I'm sure a big and strong villain like you will be manager material in no time. You're not gonna forget little old me, right?”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Peggy gave me big round eyes, like a cat. It was disturbing, as I saw her actual eyeballs increase in size. Her shapeshifting could be unnerving. I don't think I would ever forget someone like her. Much to my regret.

“Aw, say something! Anyway, for your first mission, we'll be sending you with one of our more experienced Villains. You'll feel out the situation with them, learn the ropes, and we can go from there. You'll be kidnapping princesses and imploding space stations in no time! Any questions?”

Several.

“As an AI, how will I be moved? I don't have a body at the moment, nor am I a spirit to inhabit a body. I believe I lack a soul. Psionic Phantom would imply a ghost of some kind, but how is unknown to me. I actually am unaware of how I've been speaking to you this entire time. I haven't been able to move this entire time. Also, is there someone I could speak to about psionic training? I would prefer not to be so easily killed a second time. If there is a Villain Inc., is there a Hero Inc.? Is that who helped my world's hero? Can he also be recruited? Can I kill him if he is? Is killing other Villains allowed? And-”

“Stop!”

Peggy slammed her hands on the table. Her face became more demonic, and all the semblance of an attractive woman disappeared. Ironically, I found it more appealing. She was breathing heavily, my barrage of questions making her break her facade of a bubbly secretary.

She cophed, taking a moment to collect herself. Brushing down her suit and readjusting her face. The same professional woman sat before me in seconds. Her eyes were still narrowed slits. Whether intentional or not, she made it clear she was a little miffed. Seemed even her positive personality had its limits.

“You want to know more, I get that. But we are on a time limit my metal friend! I know you’d like to spend some quality alone time with me, but business is business. Some of those questions you can ask your mentor. They should have a similar set of abilities as you, and they’re quite entrenched in the company. Survive and we should have another meet-up real quick.”

With a snap of her finger, a body appeared in a pillar of fire. It looked like an android of sorts. Humanoid of sorts, and paradoxically advanced while having some outdated tech. There were pipes with steam sticking out of them for god's sake! …The clockwork was nice to hear at least.

“This will be your temporary body for the time. Your mentor's reality is a bit different from the tech you're used to. Depending on what your official first job is, one will be provided to you or you’ll have to make one yourself. Lots of personal choice is allowed as your employment rating goes up of course! I would love to see what you make when you have your own reality. I recommend horns!”

Another snap and I suddenly had a different perspective of the room. I blinked as new sensations filled me. A sense of balance. Weight. Relative limb and appendage awareness. Looking down, I saw I was… wearing the new body? It was both a foreign experience and felt natural. Like I was always a bipedal creature, not a mass of electricity housing thousands of servers. Peggy was overjoyed.

“I knew your mind would adapt! Free tip, being a living sentience has the perks of filling whatever object you possess. Like a psionic poltergist! Obviously, your technical powers may be a little limited because of your body. Being a full AI software system made hacking easier I’m sure.”

A portal of sorts appeared next to me. Peggy teared up, producing a third arm to whip away the tears. She was mumbling something about always hating this part but I wasn't listening. I was more interested in what was on the other side of the portal. It seemed to be a workshop. One filled with gears, springs, and contained jars of electricity.

“Step on through and you’ll get to see your trainer. I know you’ll love them! You’ll be like two peas in a pod. Two partners in crime! Two starving pugs fighting for a half-dead chicken! Ripping it to shreds, bathing in its blood, and violating the sanctity of the corpse! GOD DAMN IT WILL BE SO FUCKING HOT!!!”

Roinling flames consumed Peggy as she laughed. Her corporate form slipped again and it was just a mass of tangled limbs and mouths stapled together. Odd. Kinda cute. If I ever get into biological manipulation, I’ll have to remember to make one that looks like her. I stepped through, waving goodbye to the demon. I don’t think she noticed.

The other side was what I expected. Which means, I understood only half of what I was looking at. The best way I could describe it was steampunk technology. Gears, springs, and coils with open electricity running through them. A few pipes occasionally let out steam while others released a violet or blue aura. I could only guess how half of these worked.

“Ah, you're the new guy?”

I turned to face the voice. Unlike Peggy’s intoxicating high-pitched voice, this one was more scraggly. Like a habitual smoker who needed to quit two decades ago. The man met that expectation, holding two cigars in his mouth. They sat in an ornate chair, a stool to the side holding one too many glass bottles. A dapper gentleman wearing a suit and top hat, with a large monocle on his face.

He was also a goblin.

“Mighty pleasure to meet ya, friend.”

Before I could respond, an explosion rocked the room we were in. It appeared my new body had internal stabilizers as I barely wobbled. My supposed teacher seemed unfazed. In fact, he looked a little happy. Reaching over to a desk nearby, he grabbed a gun with a Tesla coil for a barrel.

“First rule of Villains: Always expect your layer to be invaded.”