For a long time after regaining consciousness, they lie there, their bodies broken and injured, still reeling from the traumas they have sustained. Beyond that still lingering pain, there is disbelief and apprehension at accepting the reality for what it is as they both stare at the dome of the snowstorm swirling around the courtyard.
Once a cultivator decides to die, normally, no force in the world can reverse that decision, or prevent the result. But not only have they been denied death, but they were left trying to unravel the knot in their hearts that connected them to that desire for death.
To be alive, after sacrificing everything to make a last stand, is something neither one of them expected. Even when they discussed the terms of their release with the princess, in their hearts, they did not truly believe that such an outcome was possible.
Desperation drove Wu Yulan to plead with the princess on behalf of Lan Xiaohui and spare her. It is the same emotion that drove my owner to negotiate Wu Yulan’s release to treat Yun Fei — a burden and self-sacrifice, she hoped, would keep Wu Yulan alive.
Neither one of them truly expected, or even imagined, that they would both survive to see that dome of swirling ice around them. Even when the cold crawled into their bones, through their wounds and bruises, they did not mind it.
From their perspective, they did not need any creature comforts beyond the comfort of hearing each other’s steady heartbeat or looking up at the same dreary, steel-gray sky.
With that comfort also came great regret.
“I am so sorry, Yulan,” Lan Xiaohui whispers, the first to break the silence. “Because of me, you…”
Wu Yulan shakes her head. “Don’t blame yourself,” she replies. “Do you remember how you said that your life belongs to Yaoyue?”
At that question, my conflicted owner’s cheeks redden and she turns her head away. Silently, she nods in response.
“I get it,” Wu Yulan says. “If it wasn’t for you, I never would’ve obtained that sword to begin with. In that sense, it was always yours. When I think about it, it is my greatest happiness to have been able to use it for your sake.”
Lan Xiaohui frowns even as her companion scoots closer and lays her cheek on my owner’s stomach, hugging her closely. My owner embraces her companion’s head with one arm while laying her other arm over her eyes.
“It is not right,” Lan Xiaohui whispers, tone on the verge of cracking. “I pushed us this far. We never should have come here. Because of this, you… you…”
“Xuelian,” Wu Yulan intones, raising her head. Slowly, the silver-haired girl shifts her position and sits in my owner’s lap.
My owner lowers her arm to look at Wu Yulan.
“My sword is not lost. It is just wandering,” Wu Yulan says, smiling. “It is the same for us. Now that we found each other, we can never become lost again.” Wu Yulan raises her head to look at the dome of swirling snow above.
Lan Xiaohui’s expression softens, and she follows Wu Yulan’s gaze. They are not staring at the snow, but trying to imagine the world beyond. Above the storm, there should be sunlight and an endless river of stars. Perhaps even a future.
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“As long as we are still alive,” Wu Yulan continues, “There will be victories and defeats. Whether this was a win or a loss, who can truly say? Whether I am broken, or more whole than I ever was, who but me can decide?”
Lan Xiaohui emits a sound and I am not sure if it is a laugh or a cry. Her eyes fill with tears as she nods vehemently.
On the other hand, I am deeply shocked by Wu Yulan’s words. I have, once again, underestimated my owner and her companion. The outlook she has is truly that of someone who walks the path of the supreme sword. Speaking such words; displaying this kind of enlightenment; could it be that her sword attainment is equivalent to mine? How is that possible? Didn’t she seal away her sword attainment?
Though I do not sense a powerful sword force in her, I cannot deny that Wu Yulan is more of a sword cultivator now than she was before. It is indeed as she says: other than her, who can decide whether she has lost or gained from sealing the memory of her sword?
Could it be that Wu Yulan is, in fact, more powerful than before?
“You are right, Yulan,” Lan Xiaohui says, sniffling and blinking the tears away. “We are not lost; we are just wandering.”
Wu Yulan smiles and nods, stroking the burning lily flower in my owner’s hair. “If anything, I realized one thing,” she says.
“What is it?” my owner asks.
“I want to live.”
My owner nods in agreement. “Me too,” she says. “What we did… never again. No matter what. It doesn’t matter how bleak the odds are, but we must never, ever, do that again.”
Wu Yulan chuckles. “I should be saying those words,” she says. “I only sealed away my talent, but you… you gave up your life.”
Lan Xiaohui frowns, then nods.
“Will you promise me to never use that sword again?” Wu Yulan asks.
Lan Xiaohui nods again. “I promise.”
“Good,” Wu Yulan says, nodding. I sense a great deal of relief in her heart. “After we kill Lu Long, I want to live a long and happy life by your side. There are still so many mysteries in this world, and I want to discover them. I want to reach the pinnacle so we are never put in this position again. What about you?”
Lan Xiaohui smiles. “Then we want the same things. I don’t want others to decide my fate anymore. I want to become strong enough to live for my own ideals.”
Though their sentiment is that of desiring to live, what I sense in their hearts is far from something that simple. It is a kernel of rebellion and determination. It is to live but by their own rules. Despite nearly dying, their fear of risk evaporates.
It is the same as back then when they gave up their lives and futures to wound the princess; it is the decision that it is better to die with dignity in pursuit of a brilliant life than it is to live in fear or under the yoke of others.
This time, when they look toward the heavens, it is with a heart and gaze full of ambition and determination.
More than ever, I sense that they have accepted that their future will be filled with rivers of blood.
“Wu Yulan,” I announce. “I will teach you a sword method that might be of benefit to you.”
When they hear my words, both of them look toward my floating form as if just now realizing I was present. They have become so comfortable with my presence that my absence is hardly imaginable.
A gold flicker of light appears above my reformed core and then floats toward Wu Yulan’s forehead, merging into her skin.
“This is the method Fractured Sword, and it is related to Transient Sword. It is possible that it might help you recover your sword because of this association. Even so, if you can comprehend it within twenty years, you won’t be disappointed even if it doesn’t help you recover your old sword.”
Though I make it sound like it might be beneficial to recovering her lost attainment, I no longer believe that it is truly lost. The Wu Yulan that, at that moment, comprehends the basics of [Fractured Sword] is, technically, a sword cultivator with enlightenment that exceeds even that of my owner.
Even though I don’t understand how such a thing is possible.
Wu Yulan nods after receiving my teachings and interpretation of the sword method and smiles. “Twenty years?” she asks. “Thank you, Yaoyue. But if I don’t comprehend this sword within a year, I won’t have the guts to show my face.”
Lan Xiaohui laughs and nods, not doubting a single word from her companion.
On the other hand, I just feel another burst of shock from my sentient core when I cannot find a logical flaw in Wu Yulan’s declaration. Within a year? For this monster, it might be entirely possible.