My joints pop as I stretch the drowsiness away. Surprisingly hard to fake. Some quick drills to warm up, and I am off. No need to delay this any longer. I already lost so much time having to sleep here, but alas, appearances must be maintained.

The hidden door creaks open, revealing another spiraling staircase, this one going up. I ascend the staircase higher and higher. It narrows the closer I get to the top. Eventually, both my shoulders are rubbing against the walls. In the final stretch, I need to crawl. Until finally, there is a light in the distance. I emerge from a fireplace inside a richly decorated room. There are beautiful paintings hung on every wall. They depict the master of the manor tearing faceless humans apart. Creepy.

Ahead, I can see the eternally dark sky. The moon is shining through wide-open terrace doors, outlining a gaunt figure. Orbital mechanics say no. The dungeon is moving the, actually, artificial satellite around to, apparently, enhance the ambiance. The ‘technically’ in ‘technically not alive’ is getting pretty stretched there.

The Lesser Vampire turns around and looks in my direction. The undead regards me. Its eyes see only filth crawling out from the dust. It spreads its hands, intent on returning me where I belong—in the dead hearth.

The vampire jumps for me faster than anything I have faced so far. It brings its sharp claws down for a devastating overhand cleave. I block the strike with the face of my sword and brace it with my free hand. The sword is horizontal, my left forearm is perpendicular to it. The power of Chri— The undead repositions and tries to rend my exposed sides. I lean back and deflect. Scratch that one off the list.

I try to make some distance, deflecting and blocking killing strike after killing strike. The undead is relentless. An opening appears, and I kick it back. Its body is as hard as steel. I only manage to stagger it momentarily. It’s enough.

I leap over a table and kick it. It flips two times in the air. The vampire crawls under the improvised projectile. The table flips three more times. It then lands upside down and slides, crashing to a stop against a wall.

The vampire is on me again. I catch a badly timed strike and one of its arms falls to the floor. The undead does not even stop. While keeping up the onslaught with its one remaining hand, the other regrows with alarming speed. In no time, the fresh appendage is slashing its claws at my face. Interesting, the regeneration process was different from the apparition’s. I can only speculate, but the boss appears to use its own power to restore itself, while the apparition was using the dungeon itself as an energy source. I wonder if the dungeon would cut it off if its own reserves started running low. So many things to try...

I remember that I am still fighting the vampire and file that for later. Seeing another opening, I deflect a claw strike and punch at its head. The moment my left fist connects with its face, I let out a short pulse of simulated solar radiation. No discernable effects.

The undead stumbles back from the strike, and I start a swipe from the stone floor, bringing it through a leg of the flipped table, and almost catching the vampire in the neck as it lunges at me again.

We exchange some more strikes, and I reposition. I trip on a bunched-up rug and topple to the floor. The vampire takes advantage of my state and pounces on top of me. I brace my hands behind my head, twist my body inward, and uncoil like a deadly spring. The primed kick sends the would-be predator flying back. It smashes against the wall and bounces back slightly, dropping face-first on the upturned table. The previously crafted instrument pierces the desiccated flesh with ease. The vampire mimics a push-up and extracts the wood from its chest, quickly getting upright, and bolting my way again. Scratch that one off too.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

As I don’t have any garlic equivalent in my provisions, nor do I think a tossed water bottle counts as running water, this session of experimentation is over. I’ll try to procure some blessed water for next time.

Let’s end this. I remove its head. The now headless boss continues with its attacks unperturbed. The head regrows. One point three seconds. Slice. Two point two seconds. Slice. Three point one seconds. Slice. Five point nine seconds. Shouldn’t take too long then.

After a disturbing amount of heads are rolling around the room, the once again headless body slams to the ground. Just as I nudge it slightly with my foot, a smooth gem with a barely shining core crystallizes on top. The timing elicits a slight startle from my character. Somebody wants to have the last word, huh.

With the boss defeated, the portal out manifests, and Hall Master Ren exits stealth.

There is a frown on his face. “The exam has now concluded.” There is a slight pause as he looks my way. “Head to the portal.”

We exit the dungeon in silence, he leads me to the armory and then directly to his office. Not a single word is said.

He closes the door behind me and directs me to a seat.

As he sits behind his desk he says, “Are you taking this seriously?” There is anger in his voice.

“What? Of course I am!” I stiffen and repeat myself, using a reasonable volume this time, “I am taking this very seriously, sir.”

His eyes narrow, “Do not fuck with me. Every single person in this Guild puts their life on the line with every mission. Do not mock their efforts.” Rage simmers behind a tempered glare. “Is this some kind of sick game for you?”

“I don’t understand.”

Slight confusion quickly shifts back to anger. “Who are you? Is this a bet?”

“I am completely serious, Hall Master, I have no idea what you are talking about. Why are you mad at me?” Tears gather at the edges of my eyes. I am sorry.

The confusion is back in full force, his voice is much more mellow this time, “Calm down, son. It’s okay. There might have been a misunderstanding somewhere.” He looks concerned. “The exam was to evaluate your whole toolkit, all of your capabilities. Why didn’t you use any spells?”

For a moment I look embarrassed. Then, my face morphs into utter resignation. I mumble softly, “I can’t.”

He is even more confused. “You were allowed to use spells in the dungeon. Your friends were doing it too, remember? You don’t get any extra points or anything.” He slaps his forehead. “Did you get confused when I said you can’t use personal equipment?”

I look like I want the ground to swallow me up. “No... I can’t cast spells.”

He’s stunned. “...What? At all? Nothing?” I nod. “What about tempering?”

I look away. “It just happens... When I need it to.”

“How is that possible? You are a prodigious warrior! I saw how you fight!” His shouts shake the room, but he quickly stills his emotions when he realizes my state.

“I don’t know. Never have been able to... Can’t even sense mana.” I pause, trying to steady my voice. “That’s why I work twice as hard.”

“Oh, Lucius. I am so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me.” He immediately winces. “You kinda did, didn’t you.” I nod.

He slams his head on the desk. I jump. “I, Hall Master Ren, apologize for the untoward accusations I have made.”

“Hall Master, it’s okay, you didn’t know. I was scared you wouldn’t let me in the Guild otherwise. This is all my fault.”

“No, son. It’s not. I should have seen this...” He is disappointed in himself. “Don’t worry, you passed the exam. I will not stop a qualified adventurer. We need more people like you.”

I immediately brighten up and pump my fist. “Really!”

“Yes, congratulations.” He pulls out his trusty notepad and starts scratching out some things and writing down others. “Are you okay with me giving you your evaluation?”

“Yes, sir!”

Hall Master Ren accepts my improved mood with gratitude. “Taking into account new information, you handled the extended delve in a dungeon acceptably. Could have been a little more careful with resource management though. In my personal opinion, you are a genius level fighter. Every single one of your encounters was near flawless. You systematically studied and dismantled your opponents, leaving them no space for action. Most importantly, you kept your focus.”

He lets out a quick sigh, his flow is disrupted.

The hall master stands up and gently rests his hand on my shoulder. “Rest up. I’ll get your card ready, son.” He smiles at me and exits the room. I can hear him cursing under his breath.

I feel sadness.