The quiet hum of the car filled the space as we sat together in the backseat. Marco’s driver—some guy in a clean black suit who hadn’t said more than five words to us—was focused on the road, his hands steady on the wheel. The luxury of the car was unmistakable: smooth leather seats, tinted windows, the soft scent of something expensive in the air. It felt out of place. It felt wrong.
I was squished between Cassie and Marco in the spacious backseat, though none of us really took up much room. The silence was heavy, each of us lost in our own thoughts as we headed toward Jake’s house. I could feel the tension like a wire stretched too tight, ready to snap.
“You look tense.” Marco said, and I jumped at the noise. “Woah,” he said, holding his hands in a mock defensive gesture. “Switch to decaf buddy. Hawks probably shouldn’t drink coffee anyway.”
“Sorry,” I shook my head. “Just nervous I guess”
“It’s going to be okay Tobias.” Cassie said, and her warm hand slid into mine and she gave me a nod. “Just, maybe don’t start yelling at Jake as soon as you see him.” I didn’t say anything. I made no promises.
“Gonna be honest,” Marco said, his arms folded around his headrest, like he was laying out at the beach. “I did not expect today to go like this. You guys don’t write, you don’t call. Then all the sudden it’s like ‘hey Marco, we had this idea to time travel. You know how that always works out for the best right? You’re just so smart and cute we couldn’t break our time stream without you.’ I mean seriously.” He scoffed.
“Yes, exactly.” Cassie agreed, “A little flattery and you agreed to be our chauffeur.”
“Hey, I’m only here because when this goes wrong, and it will, you’re all going to need me to say I told you so.”
Oh please, Rachel-voice said, if anything does go wrong, it’ll probably be your fault Marco.
“Be nice.” I said, not realizing I’d spoken aloud until Marco glanced at me and said.
“Sorry Tobias. Just trying to be realistic.”
I opened my mouth again, this time to tell him I hadn’t meant him, but then I closed it again, realizing I had no way to explain what that even meant. Cassie gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I realized that we’d turned onto the all too familiar street. Many of the houses were still just piles of wood, or empty lots that had been cleaned up in preparation for rebuilding, but Jake's house stood, nearly untouched.
The driver pulled us right up to the curb and Cassie popped her door open, letting go of my hand as she climbed out. I slid out behind her and looked around.
“I should demorph.” I said, my muscles aching with tension. Cassie glanced at me.
“How long do you have left?” She asked. I looked at the watch I was wearing specifically for that purpose.
“Just under an hour,” I said with a grimace.
“Maybe it’s better if you see Jake like this.” Cassie was probably right. She usually was about these things, but still. I didn’t feel right. Every instinct in me wanted to be above the scene. Away from it.
“Okay.” I agreed.
“Do you want me to hold your hand next, Tobias?” Marco asked, giving me a wink.
Hold your hand out to him. See if he takes it.
I wanted to roll my eyes and let it go, but some part of me agreed with Rachel. If Marco thought it was something to make fun of, maybe he needed a reality check. I turned a blank faced look on him and held out my hand for him to take. His eyes widened, and for a moment, he got a panicked look on his face as he glanced between me and Cassie. Rachel-voice laughed, at the same time Cassie snorted. I let my hand drop and Marco looked relieved to have the offer withdrawn.
“What did we learn?” Cassie teased Marco, as we headed up the driveway.
That Tobias will hold hands with anyone. Rachel-Voice said with amusement, a second before Marco said.
“That Tobias will hold hands with anyone.” Which only made the Rachel in my head laugh even harder.
Then, they were standing at the front door, and the camaraderie was gone again. Blown off us like dust in the wind. Though, I found that, in its sudden absence. Surprise at how easily we had fallen into that rhythm again. Things had been so messy by the end. I loved them, and was mad at them, and mad at myself, and he wasn’t sure which of those things I was supposed to be feeling most, and all of it paled against the hole Rachel had left.
Cassie glanced from Marco to me, as if hoping one of us would take the next step.
Come on Tobias. Let’s do it.
Her voice rang so loud in my head, I was baffled that Marco and Cassie couldn’t hear it. With a slow breath, I stepped forward and tapped on the door, and caught the barest hint of an approving nod from Cassie on my left. The sound of people moving within reached us and then the sound of footsteps approaching. The door opened and we were standing face to face with Jakes dad.
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“Oh, hey kids.” He said, so casually it was like we’d just popped in to see if Jake wanted to walk to the mall with us. Then, the reality of the situation seemed to come back to him, and his expression became flat.
“We’re here to see Jake.” I said, but my voice came out so thin I was sure he hadn’t understood any part of it except ‘Jake.’
“Why else would you be here.” He said, shaking his head before turning his head and yelling. “Jake. Doors for you.” Then, he turned back, eyeing each of us in turn, his eyes lingering longest on Marco. The one of us he knew best. “He’ll be down in a minute.”
The message was clear. Stay outside, you’re not welcome. He turned and walked away without another word, or a glance back. Part of me expected Marco to say something. To make a joke or maybe even something just to break the tension, but he just watched Jake’s dad walk away, his mouth turned down at the edges.
The thump-thump-thump of someone coming down the steps reached us then, and we all collectively braced ourselves. Jake hit the bottom step and turned towards us, and then he froze.
We froze in turn and shock radiated through me.
Jake was a tall guy, broad in the shoulder. Not huge, just that he’d always looked older than he really was. It had been two months since I saw him, and he looked like a shadow of himself. His cheeks had a hollow look to them, his eyes were sunk with heavy dark bags beneath them, like he hadn’t slept in since that day on the Pool Ship. His collarbones stood out in sharp relief, and his clothes looked almost too big on him, and for a second I pitied him. Then I was mad. How dare he look so defeated? How dare he look so fragile? How was I supposed to say what I needed to say to him?
His blue eyes flicked from Marco, to me, to Cassie, then back to me, his mouth partially open in surprise. Then, he seemed to collect himself.
“Hi.” The word hung in the air between us, empty. So empty.
“Hey Jake.” Marco said. “Got time for a chat or are you too busy fasting for world peace?” Marco gave Jake a top to bottom once over and Jake stuffed his hand into his pockets, looking away from us.
“Sure.” Was all he said.
“Well, lets go for a walk. Your dad doesn’t seem to want us in the house.” Marco said, gesturing for Jake to come out. I backed away as he stepped over the threshold. I had always been the skinny one, in my human morph. A little shorter, and more lanky, but standing face to face with him at that moment, I couldn’t have said which one of us weighed more.
The four of us turned and moved in an awkward shuffle down the driveway and into the street. Hardly anyone lived here anymore, so there was no traffic. Marco signled to his driver, letting him know we’d be back soon. We walked awhile in silence, Cassie and I held back, away from Jake, but Marco, Jakes best friend, strode alongside him like nothing had changed.
“So what’s up?” Jake asked eventually, not looking at any of us.
“Oh, Tobias has this brilliant scheme. You’re going to love it.” Jake said nothing, only turned his head in my direction, not looking straight at me but making it clear I had his attention. I inhaled slowly, and let the anger that was coiled in my stomach settle. It wasn’t useful right now.
“I think we should time travel and save Rachel.”
“Yeah, don’t ease into it or anything.” Marco said, shaking his head. “Seriously, next time just write it on a brick and throw it at him.” but Jake didn’t even stop walking at my declaration. His head tilted toward me as he processed my words. Then, slowly he turned to meet my eyes for the first time.
“How?” was all he asked.
“Well-” I started to say I wasn’t sure, but Marco jumped in.
“Obviously we’re going to need the Time-Matrix. That’s the only way this works without any of the big guys getting involved.” Marco shrugged, and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it out. “Unless one of you has a nuke on-hand. Though that approach seems pretty reckless. I like dinosaurs as much as the next kid, except maybe Tobias, but a 65 million year trip into the past probably wouldn’t help Rachel much.”
“The Time Matrix” Jake said. It wasn’t a question. He was still looking me in the eye, and I could see something happening. “Do you guys know where it is.”
“We know it’s on Earth.” Cassie said. “Somewhere in the United States most likely. At least, that’s where it must’ve been when Visser 4’s host found it.”
“Oh, just the whole United States?” Marco asked, rolling his eyes and Cassie grimaced before adding.
“Also possibly Canada.”
“It could be gone.” Jake said, turning his gaze forward again. “The Ellimist probably hid it somewhere else after we killed Visser 4s host.”
“Does that matter?” I asked, flaring up. “Does that mean we shouldn’t even try?” Jake lookde at me again, for just a second this time before turning his eyes forward.
“No.” he said, sounding almost like himself. “It doesn’t.”