Toby woke up slowly when someone tapped him on the cheek. “You awake you drunken bum?” a feminine voice said cheerfully.

“W...Wh.. Who's that?” he croaked out. He felt parched and sick. Going by the feeling on his back, he was lying on some kind of table. He could also hear a deep groan from below, so he assumed that someone was still alive under there as well.

“Are they sure they didn't use a Dorf's imagination for this place?” it grumbled. “Even the hangover feels authentic”.

“Nope! The cheerful voice replied to the grumbling.”

“The guilty party is definitely sleeping it off on top of the table you currently use as a roof.”

“10/10 will come here to get drunk again”. This time it was a more melodic voice, although quite a bit coarser than it was yesterday.

Toby winced as he forced his eyes open. There was painfully bright light streaming through the windows, dust was dancing slowly in the warm bright rays, glittering silently.

Turning his eyes upwards, he couldn't help but see a rather predatory smile on Alice's face. Did she always have those sharp teeth? He wondered idly.

“Get up now!” She ordered. “We have quest target's to discuss”.

After a few failed attempts, Toby finally managed to hit the right option in his system menu to reset his body status.

The effect was an instant and dramatic relief.

The hangover vaporized away as if it had never existed in the first place, and his crumpled booze-stained clothes returned to their freshly bought condition again.

In fact, he felt well rested and ready to face whatever challenges Alice had in store for him right at that moment. Well. Most of them at least.

“Now, Toby. Care to introduce your partner to these two fine gentlemen you've spent the night cozening it up with. While I was out doing all the hard work?” Alice said with a clear chill in her voice.

“Don't be too hard on him lass” Urist interjected. “We share in the blame too. We were trying to find out if Human or Dorfian beer was the same thing.”

“We couldn't even figure out which beer was from where” Ortho added quickly.

“That's why we had to keep trying. right guys?”

“Yep,” Toby and Urist replied in almost perfect unison.

Before the guys could start another round of banter Toby started the introductions.

“Alice, this guy with the magnificent beard is Urist, Urist, this pretty and angry girl here is Alice,” Toby said while they all got to their feet proper.

“Ortho, Say hello to the pretty girl”, Urist called over to his pointy-eared friend while they found some seats that looked safe to sit on.

Ortho was already on the ball though, taking Alice's hand and giving her a formal bow.

“I am Ortho, It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice.”

“The pleasure is all mine” Alice replied before giving Toby a smirk.

“That, Toby my dear. Is how you should treat a lady.”

Toby winced inwardly at the strange look his new drinking buddies gave him. Of course, she had to go straight ahead and make misunderstandings. This girl was going to be the death of him. She sent just the right signals to make his heart skip a bit every now and then.

“More importantly,” Toby said, quickly changing the topic before it got even weirder.

“How did the fundraising for a guild house go?”

“Haven't you checked the guild quest status yet?” Alice sighed.

With a sheepish grin, Toby opened the guild status window.

Guild Status: Quest name: description Status Extra information The Lost children of Terra Your Guild have to save all the people who rejected simulation earth. And are in danger of irrevocably having their minds harmed by it. Accepted/Pending People saved: 0/ 2.125.892 Guild HQ Your Guild lacks a proper base of operations, Procure a suitable location for the guild members to gather and coordinate their activities. Completed Reward: Guild level item. Quest board token Recruitment drive You don't want to be known as a friendless oaf. One friend is not enough. Make at least two new friends, and convince them to join you in your guild. Active Reward: Friendship is its own reward.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“I've gotten the funds and a lot with a basic starter guild house,” Alice confirmed.

“So we are almost ready to start saving those lost minds.”

“Sorry for interrupting” Ortho interjected. “But we can hear you, you know”.

“Ah. Sorry about that” Toby apologized, but then he realized what an opportunity he just got handed to him by pure luck.

“What would you two say to help me save some of my people?”. Toby inquired of his new friends. If he could get them on board, they would be ready for the next stage immediately, maybe even get some good progress in it today.

Ortho and Urist just stared at Toby without blinking. “Yer a mighty trusting guy to ask us that after only having gotten drunk with us once” Urist replied a bit shocked.

“I understand that,”, Toby replied.

“But there are 2 million or so people who need to get off the earth simulation asap”. Toby continued.

“And the administrator dumped in all on us.”

“I don't think we have the luxury of spending weeks on finding the best, most trustworthy candidates.”

Toby gave the both of them a good long look, “Besides, we had a lot of fun last night, We meshed pretty good, so why not take the chance right? I have faith in our compatibility and ability to get along.”

“You got a fair point Toby” Ortho replied. “But are you fine with having a multi-species world as your rehab institution for your fellow humans?”

“That is what ye get for taking us on board you know”. Urist added. “It would mean taking in some Dorfians and Eldarix as well”.

“I'm perfectly fine with that,” Toby replied quickly, taking a quick look at Alice.

“She's not human either, I am the only human in the nexus for the foreseeable future as far as I know.”

Both Urist and Ortho gave Toby a bewildered look. “What you mean she isn't human?” Urist demanded.

“I'm a Cthullean” Alice pointed out to them. Causing their eyebrows to rise to unknown heights, Their faces a study in wonder when they looked at Toby. “you...””Her...””errr..””....”.

By the strange noises coming from them, as well as their rather comical looks, Toby figured that a certain misunderstanding probably was hitting its apex somewhere above the stratosphere right about now on the scale of funny.

If it wasn't for the fact that he was the subject of the joke, and not quite in on how bad it probably was, He would likely be laughing really hard. As it was he could only hang his head in shame.

Pinching his nose and sighing deeply, Toby tried to clear it up. “Look, I haven't done anything like that with my guild partner alright?”

“Toby is a man of good taste you know” Alice added with a smile, apparently throwing him a life jacket.

“I've seen the magazines he hides under his bed” Her smile started to seem more and more sinister in Toby's mind. It was apparently a lead-filled life jacket.

“I can only hope to one day measure up to his high expectations” she finished.

The following silence was so heavy that Toby could barely breathe while he was covering his eyes with his hand. “I'm done for,” he thought to himself just as the silence got broken by the roaring laughter of Ortho and Urist.

“I'm going to hear about this for the rest of my life” He lamented silently when the laughter finally died down.

“Ye know Ortho” Urist started while wiping tears from his eyes. “I think we just found the biggest entertainment goldmine in the entire history of the Nexus.”

“I think so too, Urist” Ortho replied, mirth still evident on his face “We are agreed then?”

“Aye!” Urist confirmed with a nod.

“You got yourself a team, Toby”. If the next 10 years are only a fraction as funny as what we have had today, then we are in all the way to the bitter end.”

“We do demand to see those magazines you have hidden away though Toby” Ortho added.

“For uhmmm..... research purposes.”

“That's fine” Toby replied throwing his hands into the air in a sign of giving up.

“The system won't let me get rid of them anyway.”

Toby silently vowed revenge against Alice for this whole situation while he looked at her smug expression. Maybe he just should try to get her to bed one day after all. This version of her was more than pretty enough.

He'd already gotten the shaming part done with. How bad could It be? Tentacle monster bad? The stuff in his magazines wasn't that bad after all. Unless the system changed the content?

A sinking feeling manifested in Toby's mind. He better have a look at those things himself before anyone else did. He should probably also start actually locking his door.

Request: Ortho has requested to join your guild Yes No

Request: Urist has requested to join your guild Yes No

Guild:

Quest completed: Recruitment Drive.

Reward: your new friends.

The main quest remains locked pending completion of the guild quest board.

Notice: Achievement available: Quest tin badge. 1 out of 10 required quest completed.