Pain, guilt, and shame wash away. Drawing a final breath, she pushes herself forward. Nothingness awaits her, endless silence, and freedom. But an unyielding force wraps around her waist, flinging her from tranquility. Her fists fly to fight it, but it pulls harder until her feet touch the balcony. Trembling arms cling around her and they refuse to release her. Her body gives in, relinquishing its strength to the shuddering sobs. Her dream is over. She is, once more, in Alexanderia.

“Why?” he whispers; soft and concerned all at once, “you can’t. Never you, believe me, you're needed...I need you.” What about me? Her freedom is lost forever. Anger boils through her veins, he’s condemned her to living in purgatory. Thick tears gush from her eyes as her fists pound her ‘saviour's’ chest. Years of pain, inadequacy, and lost drains from her face with every beat. “Moira, look at me. Tell me to my face why you even thought of… thought of this.”

Shame gnaws at her chest. She clutches his tunic; her fingers yearn to destroy it. To burn it, claw it; anything to remove it from her presence. His hands squeeze her shoulders, a tense uncertain grasp, telling her she crossed a line. She upset him—disappointed him like everyone else.

“You won’t understand.” You’ll never understand. The brown in his eyes swirl with fear and love, and she can’t bear it. “Let me go.”

“Not until I know why.”

“No.”

“Tell me!”

“Let go of me!”

“Captain!” Eclipse’s voice booms, “what is the meaning of this?” Zack’s hands drop from her shoulders. “Moira, get inside now.” She obeys, as the two people assigned to protect her yell outside. They’re fighting because of me, because of my failure. Her trembling knees coax her to the floor, curling them to her chest she rocks herself. Wishing she succeeded as tears stain her dress. Eclipse roars; pinning him against the window. “Whatever is happening between you two, it ends now!”

“Are you serious? What you saw just now— was me pulling her from the railing.”

“Liar!”

“Ask her! I’ve done nothing wrong. Just my damn job!” Eclipse growls lowly, “you know I won’t lie to save my neck.” His eyes meet hers before she buries her head in her knees. He removes himself, placing all four paws on the balcony floor. “It’s my duty to protect the crown of Alexanderia.”

“Quit the formalities.”

“What do you expect me to say? She didn’t seem like herself when she left the throne room. That look in her eyes... I was worried so—”

“You stormed in and pulled her from the railing?”

“I did what I had to do, that’s all. But I don’t understand, has she tried this before?” Dread bubbles in the air where his question hangs; he swore he’ll never tell.

“She was pushed to her breaking point before. She barely survived. I thought she overcame it…”

“I get the feeling there’s more to this than Kipling returning. What are you not telling me? If it’s related to why she tried to…then I need to know.”

“I am sworn to secrecy. But I will say, Kipling is only a complication compared to the real issue.”

“I don’t like your secrets. I especially hate to discover them when—”

“I should have watched her more closely.”

“It’s no one’s fault. She’s safe now, but she needs help. And I’m not equipped to handle this.”

Her heart races, every nerve is on edge; if she doesn’t move the world will collapse. She stands, exiting the room as fast and quietly as she can. She can’t stand one more minute of them talking about her like she isn’t there. She won’t face Zack’s eyes when Eclipse tells him of her past. Of the demons hunting her. Of her failures and shame. The ocean always calms her, but she’s far from her sanctuary. Instead, she settles for a secluded corner in the garden.

The tulips dance in the light breeze, swaying under the sun’s smile. The ocean of vibrant reds, yellows, and white surrounds her; sheltering from the stormy life of the palace. Here, among the trees and flowers, is a paradise of isolation. The gushing fountains whisper: this too shall pass. The birds trill among the summer trees; absorbing the bounty before, it too, passes and fades. Slipping the slippers off, she allows her feet the indulgence of the cool grass. Childhood returns to her heart. A wild run through the fields of lush green and the air whipping her hair. Freedom.

The gurgling fountain, with it’s entwined battling panthers, draws her near. The agile creatures, poised to devour the other, remain frozen in time as the water rains over their sleek bodies. Elegance and savagery juxtaposed amid the sprays. Her fingers slip into the cool refreshing water; revitalizing her troubled heart. A smile teases her lips as she peels off her stockings and glides her bare feet into the basin.

She gently kicks, stirring the bubbles between her toes. How do I live now? She desired to vanish, but now she’s exposed; her dark intentions on display for the world to see. Everything is different now; they’ll treat her differently and it’s her fault. She remembers Zack’s angry fearful eyes. He’ll never forgive me. He’s stronger than me, he won’t understand. Her mind drifts to the warm inviting eyes of the old warrior-king from the vision. Her heart’s certain it’s Zack wearing her father’s crown. Are the gods telling me he’s—

“You’re thinking something inappropriate, aren’t you?”

“Chris! For the love of—”

“Oh, you are! Aren’t you? Tell me who won the soon-to-be queen’s heart.”

“It’s a figure of speech.”

“You’re pretty flustered for a figure of speech.” He spreads his arms and walks along the fountain’s edge.

“What are you doing here? Did Zack order you to check on me?”

“Haven’t seen our pinnacle of chivalry all day,” he shrugs. “He’s still grumpy about the ‘quality’ time I stole from you at the ball. You look like a sad puppy, it’s not your fault. He’s always telling me to be more respectful and honourable and blah blah blah. What’s more honourable than helping a damsel in distress? Besides, he’ll come around once he gets his head out of his— ego. Trust me; it’ll take more than a girl to get between us, even an angel like you.”

“Will you stop calling me that?” She kicks the water, but he’s out of reach.

“As a poet, I’m obligated to speak the truth,”

“Oh, you’re a poet now?” she kicks harder, but he dodges the splash.

“I’m a wordsmith; recreating the world as I see it. I name you an angel because a mere mortal is incapable of fashioning a word for such a heavenly face.”

“Do women fall for that trash?”

“More times than I can count,” he smirks, “and I know it’s working on you.”

“As if!” she waves her hand at a gushing waterspout, using her magic to give the water a gentle nudge. The spray spins in his direction; hitting its mark.

“Not fair!” he slips into the fountain and his soaking form rises to the surface. “You think this is over?” The water fight ensues, with her kicking and he splashing as he crawls towards her.

“Chris!” she giggles, his fingers wiggle around her ankles, “Stop!” She kicks harder and he falls backwards with a splash. When they stop laughing, he climbs out and happily kicks the water beside her.

“It’s good to hear your laugh again.”

“It’s hard to laugh with the world so heavy...”

“We’re worried about you, you know. You may not like it, but you hold us together. You’ve made us into a little family, slightly dysfunctional and unorthodox (I mean the talking cat takes adjusting to). But we’re a family, nonetheless. When one is hurting, we all help because you helped us.”

“Don’t tell me I saved you in some way,” she groans.

“Me? Let’s say you helped expand my horizons.”

“If you’re stealing from my lords, at least steal from Beckham.”

“Don’t let that moron get you down, it’s your game. Your rules.”

“It’s not that easy,”

“Easy? No, you've got a momentous job ahead of you, but it’s not in you to give up.” If only he knew. He stands and wrings out his clothes. “Now grab your shoes young lady, we have somewhere to go. Our four-legged boss is calling a family meeting.”

“Great…”

Her stomach sinks when she enters her sitting room and spies Zack reading the titles on the bookcase. Nicole and Sara sit on the couch next to Eclipse while Lex sips tea in a chair eyeing the plate of sandwiches on the table. The general? Because of my actions? Who else did he tell? Chris squeezes her shoulder before joining Zack in the back. They’re conversations evaporate as she steps closer. All eyes are on her, but she can’t read their faces. Her palms begin to sweat and the only sound is the quiet dripping of her dress on the rug.

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“I informed them of Bellavere’s intentions,” Eclipse answers.

“I haven’t made my decision yet…”

“We assumed as much, however, there are unexplained events regarding Kipling affecting us. Given these circumstances it is best we are all aware—especially if you require them to fight for you.”

“Eclipse...I don’t want to talk about this.”

“It is time. They deserve to know this side of you.”

“They can read it in the history books.”

“But we want to hear it from you,” Sara pipes up, “please?”

“Alright,” she sits in the empty chair, and squeezes the plush arms; anything to distract herself from the story she’s about to tell. “You knew him better General, how about you begin?”

“Very well,” he dusts the crumbs from his jacket and clears his throat. “Remo Kipling was a son of a miner and joined our army during the reign of your grandfather, Rodrick the Third. His determination and ambition expedited his promotion to Captain. His men admired him. I saw it firsthand; I was one of his senior officers— not general yet, but I felt assured knowing my soldiers were safe in his hands.”

“But he’s the bad guy,” Sara interrupts, “bad guys can’t be good.”

“He wasn’t bad yet. I place some of the blame on myself, I should've seen the signs. But we had more pressing matters. There were accusations Rodrick's mental state and his health was deteriorating. Then when a famine hit the fields, he ordered shipments from a dubious supplier. In turn it made everyone sick. More people died. The palace was dealing with weekly assassination threats."

"I remember you always being busy..." Zack mumbles.

"I'm sorry Zack, if I could go back in time..." He clenches his jaw and turns to the window; hiding the emotion on his face. She squeezes his arm; coaxing him to continue. No one was left unscathed that night; something like that leaves a permanent mark.

“Despite Remo’s strict training in military conduct he didn’t know when to draw the line. He fell in love with Moira’s mother, the crowned princess, and without any of us knowing his true feelings we appointed him as her guardian. Emilia was a beautiful soul, both her and Allan’s youthful energy naturally drew others to them. Remo’s possessiveness worried us but because of political unrest and we needed him. Emilia’s safety was my greatest concern, especially when she announced her pregnancy. But Moira was born with little complications.” He smiles at her, “we had reason to celebrate, and that’s when we made our second mistake; we ordered Kipling to protect you and your mother at all costs.”

“From what I remember Kipling was always with us. One outing was to our favorite beach, I was swimming and they were on the picnic blanket talking together. He said something I didn’t hear but she got angry. They argued and he trampled the picnic. He changed after that; nothing was ever the same since.”

“The Treason of Alexanderia,” Chris adds solemnly.

“General Braun lost faith in the monarchy when his son died from eating the rotting food,” Lex explains. “It didn’t take long before he rallied Remo to his side; together they gathered soldiers and countrymen against the king.”

Zack refuses to meet her gaze but the pain on his face is clear. Today forces them to remember events they rather forget. Recall family they will never see again. She gather’s her courage and begins her tale. A one, until now, is only played out in her nightmares.

“That night my mother brought me to the throne room to say goodnight. The people charged the grounds like a raging black sea,” their torches flickering like fireflies. “They set fire to the kingdom. My father fought Remo in the courtyard but soldiers over powered him. Lex went to save him; and somehow between all of that, Remo stormed into the throne room.” His manic stare flash behind her eyes; her fingers twist her hair as she paces the room. “He acted like a caged animal. His plan went further than he originally hoped, but he wasn’t the kind to retreat. I felt my mother’s fear, but she didn’t show it. Even when he threw my grandfather’s severed head at her feet, she refused to submit to him. When he attacked, she used a magic barrier to protect us, which is weak against non-magical weapons (a serious flaw if I may add). I felt this strange power pulsing from inside her… and inside me. Then the lights went out. The world outside burned grey and crimson. I wanted it to stop. I wanted the night to end, I wanted to see the morning sun. My body grew warm, it started in my chest, dripping into my fingers, then flooding everything with a burning light. As it dimmed Remo was against the wall and she collapsed at my feet. I didn’t understand why she wasn’t moving.”

“You never spoke about sharing in Emilia’s magic.”

“How do I tell my father, who disowned magic by the way, that I killed my mother with magic I wasn’t aware I had?”

“My dear, you didn’t kill your mother.”

“Tell him Eclipse.”

“Emilia was a powerful Mage, her use of the divine Ceraphim magic is a credit to her reputation. Which is why Moira’s abilities, despite surpassing her age, is never questioned. However, it is uncertain whether or not she contributed to Emilia’s magic that night.”

“Are you saying little Moira did all that herself?” Chris asks.

“If what she says she felt is correct; it is more likely that Moira harmonized her magic with Emilia (albeit a difficult task since Mages rarely harmonize with others). While her mother used possibly Ceraphim magic.’” He directs the next statement to her, “but I will emphasize; you were too young to use that level of magic without dying.”

“How did I survive when my mother didn’t?”

“We have been through this; it is likely the magic you felt was a form of shield magic created from instinct.”

“If I was too young to use Ceraphim I doubt I could use shield magic.”

“Moira, you are missing the point,” Nicole interrupts, “it is not about who died, but who lived. Focus on the life ahead of you instead of the lives that passed.”

“She’s right,” Chris adds, “you’re here when others aren’t. Use it to our advantage.”

“Advantage? You’re talking about war.”

“Yes,” Eclipse announces, “decisions are required. General, what is the army’s standing?”

“Captain Dawson has the knights and soldiers on notice. Arrangements and strategies are in place. I sent requisition forms to Lollardum for additional weapons, but they haven’t arrived yet.”

“Sounds like preparation began long before the letter arrived.”

“Drop the charade, Your Majesty, I assume the Captain already notified you.”

“I did no such thing.”

“It's okay Zack, I know you two are as thick as thieves. No disrespect to Master O’Connell.”

“Not at all, my good sir,” Chris gives a mock salute.

“You knew?”

“My dear nephew, nothing happens in Alexanderia without me knowing about it. Did you expect me to allow a stranger to get close to Her Majesty without me knowing everything about him?”

“Told you I was world-famous,” he winks at Sara who giggles, “Zack don’t worry, I behaved.”

“Doubt it.”

“General, what is it you require of me at this point?”

“As much confidence as I have in our men; we were blessed with lengthy peacetime and I fear this is the greatest test for them and for you.”

“What the General refers to is,” Eclipse adds, we feel Margaret will prey on your inexperience and see you as irrational. Kipling will slaughter us if we are unprepared.”

“Well, that’s quite blunt.”

“Normally I will gladly take our army into battle unaided but, I’ll relinquish my pride. I request you invoke the Treaty of Triad Empires, an agreement which the monarchs of Alexanderia, Bellavere, and Lollardum signed. It states if one is attacked then the others will come to their aid.”

“How do we know Lollardum hasn’t sided with Bellavere?” Chris asks.

“No one knows... not until you go there. Moira, I humbly volunteer.”

“You, Nicole?”

“Yes,” she says with more conviction than before. “I have no army to give, no money to donate, and we both know these hands never held a sword. I have nothing left but my name, a voice and hope.”

“With all due respect, Your Highness,” Eclipse begins. “But you are in one of the worst positions to assist anyone. Your mother started this feud. The name you offer is one of a murderous tyrant. And as you claim you own nothing to offer Lollardum in return for their assistance.”

“We are not what we once were. Time is moving forward and constantly changes. Moira, you are no more than your father (Alona keep his soul) than I am my mother. Margaret gave me life but to sit there and tell me I am like her because for nine months we were one person is your fallacy. Do not judge me based on a decision I had no say in. I cannot choose my mother; only whether to follow or not.”

“Nicole, I am placing all my faith in your success,” she wants to believe in her, but Eclipse is right. Castellan is a tough negotiator and isn’t easily persuaded. If she fails, her people die.

“I will not disappoint you.”

“Chris will escort you to the kingdom in the morning,” Eclipse concludes. The thief’s face twists into a tormented scowl. She’s never seen him angry before and it shocks her.

“What? No. You need to find someone else.”

“I’ll escort her highness, keep Chris out of it.”

“Zack you are required here. His inside knowledge is an asset to this endeavour.”

Both men glance to the other. Zack looking guilty and Chris clenching his jaw. He hides his shaking fist by slamming his hands deep into his pockets. Lollardum is dangerous, yes, but their response to returning is more than she expects. It’s the first time she suspects Zack is keeping something from her. It puts her on edge.

“Alright,” he accepts through gritted teeth, “I can’t guarantee results, but I’ll get the princess there.” He slams the door as he exits. The others file out, leaving Eclipse and Zack behind. She can’t read Zack’s expression as he approaches but she recalls his frustration before.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry for what I put you through…” Future queens didn’t experience these feelings. She isn’t strong enough to prevent them.

“I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through. And I can’t determine how you came to such a resolution.” He takes a deep breath, “you’re not the first person I found, but you’re the first I found alive. I thought it was a mistake. But when I saw you standing on your own accord, I knew.”

“It’s all a blur. I don’t know why I did it.”

“Sadly, you do. Your heart knows why. But I want you to continue fighting not for us but… for you. Your life is precious, not because of your magic or who your father was, but because you are you…” he whispers in her ear: “next time you feel like that remember you are loved and cherished.”

“How… do you know... there’ll be a next time?”

“Because you didn’t thank me for pulling you down.” His soft eyes gaze into hers, his lips giving a solemn smile. But his words expose a dark secret she thought she hid from the world.

“Moira,” Eclipse speaks, and she feels like a child accepting her punishment.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what was happening, I—”

“Enough. I disagree with your actions —arriving at that decision— acting on such a thought…” he relaxes his shoulders, “I apologise. I was gone when you needed me most. Please forgive me.”

“Don’t apologise,” tears threaten her eyes, she didn’t want to cause him, of all people, pain. “It has nothing to do with you. It’s me, my fears, my...stupidity. A moment of weakness...”

“Tell me why you are filled with such sadness?”

“I don’t know…” wrapping her arms around his neck, she listens to the purring as it soothes her aching heart. Her fingers grasp his fur, clinging to his strength, hoping to keep her world together.

“Sorrow is an acceptable emotion, Little One. Tears are not shameful, they are cleansing; like all water, they precipitate growth.” He pushes his head into her hands, “I am uncertain how to heal your heart, but I support you. I promise to never abandon your side.”

“You can’t promise that.” She wraps her arms around his neck, “we both know your existence on this plane is limited. But I promise I’ll keep trying. I’ll make you proud of me.”

“I am proud of you. All I want is your happiness. Anything else is extra.”

“But what if I can’t find happiness?”

“You have, they all sat here having tea with you. Your heart is filled with such wonderful light. Why have it if you are not meant to shine.” She clutches his neck, sobbing until her tears run dry. “We are not alone anymore; I think this is good for us.”

“I really hope so…”