Maybe I can make the most out of this Mortal Bond. Mortal Enforcement isn’t too bad. I can use their resources to find odd recent deaths. Soon The Pen will be in my hands. I'll get rid of the Mortal who is using it. Then find my way back into the Realms. I don’t care for Mortal’s arbitrary laws. Or upholding them. Won’t be here long though. Won’t have to uphold them for long. Won’t be here long.

“Troy,” who the fuck is this golden, flowery fuck boy. I’m being approached by some short, slender built, platinum blonde, man with a fashionable haircut. Big round glasses with a pretty golden glasses chain, hiding big round blue eyes. HIs features are petite, slender, and somewhat feminine.

Oh that’s because, “Yes.”

“I heard you got run over,” she says.

“I am fine, no breaks, I am walking,” I gesture to my Mortal meat prison.

She squeezes the bridge of her nose in thought, “I can see that. I heard other reports, they said you weren’t conscious-

-well I am conscious now, ma’am,”

She looks genuinely ticked. Furrowing her blonde eyebrows, though you can barely see them with how blonde they are, “I hope that is a joke, Troy. And that you start correctly identifying me. I am not kind to jokes like that, and I have the right to suspend you. I mean that is the right thing to do in this situation.”

Uh sir? She is a He? Er, he looks like a woman, “Yeah, one big joke.”

Reading the name on the badge Lysander sighs, he looks somewhat worryingly at me, “I am putting a lot of trust in you Troy. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I am fine, you want to punch me in the ribs to figure out whether I am lying-

-now that would definitely break something,” Lysander smiles, “Fine. I need to ask a favor from you. I really shouldn’t be sending an officer who just got run over to take this call, but I think you’re best suited for the area. We just got a report of a gunshot. Avenue View Apartments, Downtown Oakside. How they even got a gun is beyond me, I am going to have to look into the address, however, I need someone to check up on the situation.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Fuck. I wanted to find the Pen quickly. I didn’t want to be here long. Find the Pen. Kill the Mortal. Those were my objectives. Not actually play Mortal Enforcer.

“Shouldn’t you send someone over? I just got run over,” I ask.

Lysander raises a brow, “You said you were fine-

-suddenly I am not-

-why are you avoiding this?” Lysander ask.

“Er, just, pulling your leg, does anyone know what’s going on?”

Lysander takes a second, he frowns, “The address belongs to the same report we got last month ago where a man asphyxiated due to an allergic reaction. We deemed it an accidental allergic reaction and absolved the wife of detainment. I am just covering my bases.”

Interesting. How do I make it sound like I know what I am talking about? While getting enough information.

“You think they are related?” I ask.

“I think something strange is happening,” Lysander tells me earnestly, he really trusts this Troy fellow. I can use that to my advantage as well, “We don’t see this many deaths in town, beside natural causes. Now it feels like death is preying upon people.”

Ugh. He’s the poetic type.

“Sure,” I nod, “Avenue View Apartments. Got it. Going.”

All I have to do is go there, and whether or not it’s an actual suicide, they will accept whatever the fuck I write. Mortals are dumb and lazy usually anyway. Turning around, guess back out the front door, as Lacie seems to have returned from her workstation. She looks at me. I look back at her.

“Been sent on a scavenger hunt,” I tell her.

“Daaad,” Lacie protests, “You cannot call a shooting a scavenger hunt.”

“I can,” I tell her, leading her out of the department and towards the car parked in front.

Maybe I can use their relationship to get more information out of her, “Lysander seems on edge. You think something is going on?” I ask.

Lacie looks at me, “That a rhetorical question?” she ask, “It’s all of these strange deaths that have been happening around town as of late. They have no connection. At least they appear to have no connection, but some think Florian is looking for needles in a needlestack-

-is that a real common phrase-

-it’s the right one to use in this context-

-so a string of odd deaths, you could say-

-why are you being so weird? Are you okay? Do I need to go back in there and ask Florian to give you the day off?”

Opening the car door.

“No, I am just getting the pieces together, he seems to think there is some kind of connection with the shooting and the man who suffocated,” I tell her while getting into the driver’s side. I did all right driving a Mortal car back to the department. She didn’t complain. Or act scared. So that’s a win. That I can at least fake knowing what I am doing.

Lacie smiles, she looks proud, “You’re amazing Dad. Like a real investigator, trying to put all the pieces together.”

“Yeah, real investigator,”

Fuck. How do I get out of this? Get to the apartment. Report some bullshit. Hand it over. Find the Pen. Look into these string of accidental deaths. Use it to locate the Pen. Kill the Mortal using it.