I’d been hurt many times, but never like this. My shoulder was a red-hot mass of agony, I felt myself being stabbed with several blades but paradoxically it was from the inside out. Like my sins had finally had enough of being within me and exploded out with naked, jagged force. Then the stabbing gave way to a tearing sensation, I heard my scream reach a higher pitch than I knew I was capable of, there was a horrible wet noise and I was left curling up on the bed, my eyes wet, my lungs begging for air.
Everything between my neck and forearm felt like it was on fire. I could hear someone sobbing, dimly, nearby. Was it me? Gods. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. No demon would tolerate it, such a clear sign that I was weak.
A higher voice impressed itself on the edge of my awareness, interspersed with hiccuping, racking sobs. Oh. Maybe it wasn’t just me. “Ann, I’m sorry, god, I’m so sorry. Please be okay, god, what did I do to you…”
I wanted to know that myself, but my mouth wouldn’t obey me in forming words. All I managed was a weak groan. Was this what dying felt like? It hadn’t been this bad with Bryonia.
Footsteps, running, scratching on the floor. “What happened?” Another voice now, frantic, familiar. Uvaia. Oh, no, she shouldn’t have to see me die. “There was screaming– A-Anthy?! Anthurium!” A scream near a squawk, on the edge of hysteria. “What happened to her?”
“Ouch. That lots of blood.” This raspy voice wasn’t so familiar, but my hazy mind tied it to Crassula’s name and face. “You have a disagreement?”
“No!” Gia’s yell was a panicked denial. “I wouldn’t, I would never- I was trying to heal her! She was hurt, and I thought, but this happened instead…”
“So you did this to her? What were you thinking?! Of course you couldn’t heal her, no true demon can…” Uvaia’s words jabbed into me as much as they would Gia. What had I been thinking, letting her try this.
“All of you, stop it. Listen t’ me.” A deeper male voice, calm, but with worry thrumming underneath. Sedum. “Throwing blame around’s not going to help anyone. Least of all her. Breathe in, hold it, let it out.” I could hear a couple exhalations. “Better. Uvaia, can you find where she’s bleeding?”
Feathery touches to my arm, fluff filtering down through layers of pain. “I don’t… this spiky part coming out of her is covered in it, but I can’t find any cuts or gashes.”
“Bleeding’s inside, then. Mm, that’s not good. Lass, what was it, Crassula? Can you tie a tourniquet?”
“Sure, Crassula can. But might be better to just leave–” Her voice trailed off, more sobs from Gia filling my ears. “Crassula will take care of it.”
“Good on you, then. Use the sheets, they’ll need washing anyway. Here, around beside her neck and down here on the forearm.” I felt a tight pressure from my collarbone to the side of my chest, another cinching my tricep. The pain was starting to die down, and these were something else to focus on.
“Will she be okay, Sedum?” Uvaia sounded more in need of reassurance than truth. “Fierce Suanil, I can’t believe this happened. We were just talking, and eating, and now…”
“She should make it through just fine.” His voice was low and comforting, though I caught a mutter under his breath that was less so. “How she’ll feel after all this – well, we’ll just have to see.”
“Ann said there wasn’t a doctor.” Gia’s voice was small, tired, dull with regret. “Why couldn’t we have just asked you?”
“I ain’t nothing of the sort, lass. Just a few tricks picked up from hard living. Anthurium,” his voice thrummed out. “Dunno if you can even hear me, but try to rest, if you can. Body’s going to need it, after that.”
Part of my mind rebelled at the thought of resting, sleeping, when I was injured and vulnerable. The rest of my mind and body was bone-weary. I drifted off, pain giving way to a blank darkness.
- - -
I didn’t dream, but that was nothing new. I couldn’t recall dreaming once in my ten years of existence as a demon. Normally, when you did pass out, it was just a matter of waking up, hopefully refreshed, hours gone by in no more than the time to lose consciousness.
It wasn’t as easy as that, this time. Waking up was a fitful experience marred by throbbing, an aching soreness throughout my shoulder and upper arm. I groaned and rolled onto my back, a sign I wasn’t thinking, as a sharp pain lanced out as my joint hit the mattress and I spent the next half minute swearing under my breath.
Eventually I sat up, gingerly and carefully, admitting defeat on the attempting unconsciousness front. The room was dark compared to earlier, but there was enough light coming in through the window to let me spot objects left on the bedside table. A mug of brownish liquid and a scrawled note beside it.
Wiping off my glasses, feeling a crick in my neck and an absence in my belly, I reached out with my good arm to read what it said. This used to help me and some friends with muscle pains. Can’t say how much it’ll help you in your situation, but figured it’s better to have than not. - Sedum
I looked at it for a moment before turning to take in my own situation.
For a second I didn’t recognize what I was looking at, with the wild thought that I was dreaming after all before I realized. The white bone fused to my skin resembled a pauldron, the caps covering shoulders of armor. A half-dozen bone spikes jutted out, as also might decorate armor, though generally only on demons eager to risk poking out eyes. I just wouldn’t lean to my left anymore, I guessed.
Dried blood covered the bone pauldron in a crust, but less than I’d have thought, and my arm’s dark skin was also surprisingly free of it. Looking around some more, I saw two bunches of twisted up sheets, one more bloodstained than the other. The tourniquets I’d heard them putting on, and it seemed someone had come to clean me off as well. My stomach churned at the thought of what a pathetic mess I must have looked like.
There was time for self-reproach later, though, I had something important I needed to check. Trying to move my arm away from my body, I clenched my teeth as the sharp pain dragged out and intensified. But it confirmed what I wanted to know, and attempts to flex my arm forward and backward had the same response; minimal. I could still rotate my elbow, but my shoulder wouldn’t move, half my once-dominant arm functionally paralyzed. My guess was that Gia had fused my shoulder together, warping muscle and bone.
I pressed my good hand to my forehead, swearing softly. The others might not have known how this happened, but I’d seen this kind of thing before. Gia had a rare skill to twist and reshape others’ bodies, an Art known as fleshwarping. And a novice fleshwarper was probably the worst kind of demon to give free rein on your body. Especially a novice with too much power for her own good.
The thought crossed my mind that it could have been worse. With her power, Gia might have turned me into a puddle. And then I was laughing, chest softly shaking with bitter chuckles and jabs of pain accompanying each. Gods, this was a fucking mess. How was I supposed to take over a nation like this? Even feeding or dressing myself would be a struggle, let alone trying to fight with a single weak hand. And as for managing to gain respect of demons, good fucking luck with that. I’d seen how cripples were treated in a realm where personal strength dictated so much. And I’d already been weak enough as it was, but now even fantasizing about punching assholes would be painful.
I’d gone through plenty of low points in my life, but it seemed there were always new and exciting ways to suffer. As my laughter died down, I reached for the mug, feeling I did need a drink but not willing to try something wholly unknown. The scent was bitter and sour, but not alcoholic, and not like bitter almonds which ruled out at least one poison. The scrawl matched papers I’d seen Sedum write, too, so odds are it was real, and he probably didn’t want to kill me. So I took a small sip, and gagged, but forced the rest down.
It tasted about like it smelled but stronger, which was to say worse. But if it was some kind of medicine, I wasn’t about to turn it down. The pain was a heavy drumbeat in the back of my mind, and my mind had always been my greatest weapon. This was a time where I especially needed to think clearly. I took slow, deep breaths as I felt the drink slosh in my stomach. Trying to chase away the histrionic thoughts that this was hopeless. Contemplating different ways I could maybe make a sling one-handed, and how the doctors I’d known had used them.
Tying it off was a pain, but I managed to convert a sweater into a half-functional sling, holding my arm to my body, and the hot ache was dying down to a dull one, thank gods. So I sighed, sat, and thought.
This didn’t have to be the end of things. It would be difficult for sure, but I’d lost something key I depended on once before, even if it hadn’t been so physical. But I’d learned bouncing back from loss was about finding ways to compensate for what you lack. And I had a wealth more experience now than I had back then.
Plus, I did have Gia, too. I gritted my teeth thinking what she’d done to me, but a second later winced remembering how she’d cried. I was the one who should have known better, not her. She was still new to this world, and uncommonly powerful, and she might not have the temperament to lead but I could do that for her. My physical capabilities were far from my biggest determinant of success. I’d need to hide my weakness once we had a following, and I’d be more vulnerable if I was attacked personally. But I could still plan and scheme and deceive just as well as I could before, and that was what would earn me my goals, not having two functional arms.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
I’d want time to adjust to it and see what else I could still do, but that was the use of a place like Monem. Gia could learn more control of her arts, I could learn to get around with my crippling injury, find some clothes to hide the warped bone and conceal that I was hurt.
Some distant sounds were infringing on my concentration now, and I grimaced, glancing around. It would be easier to think if it weren’t for that yelling. And… screaming.
Standing up quickly, I registered that the light coming from outside was now flickering and dancing on the wall. As I looked out the window, I saw the town was on fire.
- - -
“What the hell is happening?” I demanded to know as I came down the stairs, and was fortunate enough to find myself face-to-face with a captive audience. Gia, Uvaia, Sedum, and Crassula were gathered in the inn’s lobby, standing in a circle with stress written across their faces.
My arrival didn’t so much negate the stress as appear to reorient it, as Gia and Uvaia started, turned to me and started talking over each other, relief and worry warring on their expressions.
“You’re awake! Oh my god, are you okay?—”
“Oh, thank Suanil, Anthy, I’m so glad you’re looking better—”
“Can you walk all right on your own? I feel so bad for what happened—”
“Sedum said we just needed to wait, but seeing you like that was just—”
Crassula loudly cleared her throat, thumping her axe’s butt on the ground. “Should save fussing over her for when not under attack.”
I nodded firmly in agreement, slightly overwhelmed by being fretted over and relieved for the distraction. I did show both Uvaia and Gia a somewhat pained smile, though. “We do need a plan, yes.”
“We were just discussing what to do, aye. Helps if we don’t need to move you.” Sedum nodded to me, brow crinkling. “Hope the tea might’ve helped?”
“That's what it was, then? Tasted like you’d fed me mud.” I quirked an eyebrow at him. “It has helped the pain, yes.”
Sedum snorted. “Tree bark, actually, but good. Now, I was saying I think it’s best to stay in here, block the door maybe. Shouldn’t be there’s anything they’ll want enough to spend the extra effort. And if anyone does get in, we’d stand a better chance against one or two than out on the streets.”
“I still think we should make a break for the forest,” Uvaia said quietly. “We don’t know how many of them there are, or how strong they might be. If they do get in here, or set it on fire, we’ll be trapped.”
“Wait, you don’t know how many there are? Why don’t you just…” I cut off, concentrating and opening my third eye.
The immediate wave of discomfort made me regret that some, but by this point I knew what to expect from Gia’s, and a headache wasn’t something I was going to let stop me. Auras shone all around now like bright pinpricks, and I had to resist the urge to turn away or to be overwhelmed. But this was a small village, maybe a hundred people, and I’d scanned it before and knew most townsfolk were nothing special. The stronger auras, the attackers, shone brighter in my mind’s eye, and there thankfully weren’t many. I could pick them out with surprising ease from among the others. One, two, three…
“Fifteen of them, I think,” I reported, shuttering that sense and opening my eyes. “I can’t be exactly sure, some of those could just be villagers.” At least half a dozen hadn’t even been noticeably strong. “But I’m pretty confident. Those ones were all active and moving–” I realized everyone but Gia, who was just nodding along, was staring at me. “What?”
“You can just tell that, without even needing to see?” Uvaia asked me, eyes wide. “Wow.”
“That’s a neat trick,” Sedum muttered, eyeing me with raised eyebrows.
“You think?” I looked between them, surprised. “Any of us could do it. I’m sure I might have practiced more than most demons, but even so.” Aura sensing was as natural to any of us as sight or smell, and yet so many barely even bothered to use it. Other demons did baffle me, sometimes.
There was something bothering me in the back of my mind, though. I couldn’t put my finger on what, but some aspect of these attackers’ auras had stood out without the slightest effort on my part. Like they were somehow familiar.
“Anyway,” I said, shaking my head. I could see if my brain put it together in the background. “I’d like to propose another option. We are still outnumbered, but it may be possible to break through and repel the attack– oh, come on,” I cut off, nettled. The eyes on me had taken on pitying expressions. “Don’t look at me like that. In these numbers they’re likely just bandits, only one of them was even remotely powerful.” Well, when compared to other demons I’d known.
“Bandits could still kill us just the same,” Uvaia pointed out softly. “I’m not feeling all that powerful either.”
“I’m not doubting your courage, lass, but you do realize you’re not,” Sedum gestured at me, “In a fit state to try repelling anyone.”
“Yes, I know that I’m injured,” I snapped. “I don’t need to be the one to fight.” I had no doubt Gia could kill any of the underlings with her fleshwarping, and depending on their layout and formation, we could break through to the leader and keep most of them from needing to go to waste.
“Ann,” Gia spoke up, wincing through her whisper. “I don’t know about this. It’s not like I want to let the people here get killed, but what could we do to stop it? Running and hiding sounds best to me, like Uvaia said. We might not save the town but at least we could keep each other safe.”
It looked like we’d thrown Gia’s authoritative act out the window, which rankled me some to see. But her lacking confidence was a bigger issue right now. She would be the cornerstone of any counteroffensive, and while saving the town was frankly the least of my concerns, if she wasn’t ready then retreating might be the best option after all…
“Crassula like this plan,” Crassula spoke up unexpectedly. “Me was thinking pick off one or two and sneak away. But with help, we could get lots of them.”
I blinked at her, but latched onto that wisdom from the gutter. “Yes, exactly. Sedum, Uvaia, you both know the town and the bandits don’t. We can hit them when they’re not expecting it, strike and disperse, and we don’t need to take them all. Break through to the leader and if we take them, we’ll have leverage. A smaller fighting force can still win under the right circumstances.”
“And just who are you picturing in this smaller force?” Sedum asked me, holding an even gaze.
Well, if he wasn’t volunteering himself, other methods might be called for. “Uvaia, will you stay with me?” I asked my harpy, reaching out with my good hand and touching her soft wing. From how Gia stood up straighter as I did so, this might help to persuade more than one person.
Uvaia’s eyes widened, and her caramel cheeks darkened. “I-I’m not a fighter, but if you’re going to stay and fight, I’ll help if I can.”
“Force my hand, huh.” Sedum chuckled, a sound without mirth in it. “Alright, lass. I’ll join in too. Still looks like we’ll die, but can’t say it won’t be for a good cause.”
“We’re not going to die,” I said, mostly to reassure a now visibly alarmed Uvaia. “This isn’t a conventional battlefield, they won’t all know where each other are at once. If we pick off smaller groups and defeat them quickly, we can avoid being surrounded and overwhelmed.” And ideally, we’d have Gia to kill anyone we needed to. But she still wasn’t volunteering herself, either.
“How do you know will be small groups?” Crassula asked in an unfortunately salient point.
“My aura sense made it look like they were dispersed, but I can’t be completely certain. Uvaia can help with verifying that, if she flies above to confirm. Harpies have good night vision, right?” I asked her.
“All the ones I’ve known, yeah.” She nodded, wings flapping."I can do that."
“And what if someone shoots her out of the sky?” Sedum asked, a faint growl in the words.
“…That is a risk, yes.” No point denying it. “It just depends on if it’s one we’re willing to take. But she could do a lot to keep the rest of us alive by doing this.” I pursed my lips, looking back at my harpy. “Uvaia?”
She gulped, but gave me a nod, with stubbornness I hadn’t expected filling her eyes. “I’ve been in danger a lot before. My job is dangerous, Sedum. You don’t seem to mind me doing that.”
“Well, if it were up to me…” He grimaced, but relented under her gaze.
“And Crassula is with us, she said. So, Lady Hydrangea?” I asked Gia, turning to her. If she was going to have what it takes to survive Hesperia, she’d need to fight for herself.
“I…” Gia swallowed as well, but faltered where Uvaia had stood firm. “I don’t know what I could do to help. I feel like I would just get in the way.” She looked at me guiltily.
Not the most auspicious start. I managed to not sigh aloud, but could see concern in the others’ eyes as they looked at her. Which, to be fair, was better than the scorn I’d half-expected.
“You could stay here with Yaupon, little lady,” Sedum told Gia, voice gentler with her than he’d been with me. “Not sure we can afford to protect her throughout,” he directed at me. I felt myself bristle, even though it was true.
“Won’t need to protect her,” Crassula spoke up, and I winced preemptively. Whatever bluffs I’d made, surely no one could think Gia was powerful and fearsome after that. “Lady can just do what she did to make Crassula’s axe bounce off.”
That gave me pause. “What?” I demanded, turning to Gia. “Why didn’t you tell me you did that?”
“I didn’t know I did that!” Gia insisted, shrinking back. “I just closed my eyes when she swung a weapon at my head.”
“Happened both times Crassula tried. Watch,” the goblin said, lifting a hand up. My hand twitched with the instinct to go for my dagger, but instead of going for her axe, she simply pulled off her helmet and swung it hard at Gia.
The headwear bounced back in her hand, and from the lack of any reaction save widened eyes I didn’t think Gia had even felt a thing. “How are you doing that?” I muttered. Many demons had enhanced durability, but they still took the blows in the first place. This was more like a mage’s force field, or a witch’s barrier.
“I honestly don’t feel like I’m doing anything,” Gia said, giving me a helpless shrug.
“But that didn’t stop you from…” I didn’t finish that sentence. Crassula had made circumstances strained enough without bringing up that she’d eaten Gia. But Gia’s defenses clearly didn’t protect her from everything, even if I’d need to worry less about her now.
“If Lady wants to stay here, Crassula will stay and guard her,” Crassula said unexpectedly. “Or even if Lady wants to run,” she said, placing her helm back on her head and looking at Gia with what I'd nearly think was respect.
“What? No, we’re going to need you,” I said immediately. I did think Crassula was more powerful than most of her kin, and while beating me wasn’t the greatest accomplishment she was still the only fighter in the room whose skills I had seen in action. If both she and Gia wouldn’t help, this might not even be worth trying.
“Crassula answer to the Lady first.” She might have had some smugness to her grin as she said it. Damn it, why hadn’t I had her obey me instead?
“Lady Hydrangea,” I said, still doggedly clinging to our cover story however much Gia had done to tatter it. “Don’t doubt yourself. The same fleshwarping you used on me could be used to kill any demon you want.” Well. Any of the caliber we were likely to face tonight. She wasn’t experienced with it, but you didn’t need experience to be destructive with an Art like that. For which I was ample evidence.
Gia flinched, and shook her head vehemently. “No, I really can’t. I’m not–”
“And if you don’t help us out,” I interrupted, irritation flaring. This had gone on long enough. “It’s far more likely one or more of us will die.” I wasn’t usually so heavy-handed when manipulating my superiors. But if I was ever to make her a ruler, Gia couldn’t fall at the first hurdle in a land of conflict. She needed this push. “Can you live with that?”
Gia showed me a startled, hurt look, and she swallowed hard. Fear fought with worry in her eyes, and one was swiftly overtaken. “I can– I can try to help, if you really want me to.” Her voice wasn’t confident, but I’d take assent over running and hiding. “Maybe someone can use me as a human shield.” I felt my whole body stiffen, and she flinched again. “A demon shield! Like you might use, uh, humans for? Ha! Aha.” Her laugh came out very strained.
In some minor miracle that I could only assume stemmed from spontaneous temporary deafness, no one immediately called her on that. Crassula did lick her lips, but that could easily be from the second idea about humans.
“It’s up to you,” Sedum said, watching Gia.
“Just don’t get yourself killed, okay?” Uvaia asked, flapping her wings and looking hesitant. It looked like her anger I’d overheard while half-conscious had been short lived, for which I was grateful.
“Follow my lead, and none of you will get killed.” I supposed there was no point in being coy about taking charge now. “I am very familiar with battle and warfare. Now, let’s push these bandits back.” And I’d just hope my mentee would handle herself better than her first fight.