My exit from unconsciousness matched my entrance. The serenity that surrounded me comforted me, did its best to protect me from the waves of anger and hate that washed against it. The peace attempted to cocoon me deep withing a bedrock of who I thought I was. But the waves kept coming.

Deep in the darkness, I felt who I thought I was wash away. Memories of my old life, the hopes for this new one filtered back into my emotions. But who I was remained, a wall against the tide. And the tide was coming in.

I watched as water splashed above the wall. It filtered into the endless nothing that resided behind myself, filling the earth that was used to craft my dyke. The unfiltered emotions. Rage, white-hot, steamed and bubbled within the blackness. Sadness both fueled and dampened it. A deep well whose surface burned, but with every disruption put the fire out. Hope escaped the turmoil. A small golden bug that flitted around the shapes that were taking form. Disgust built the land. The wrongness that I had ignored all the animal-people created the foundation for everything else.

And the dam steadily washed away. With each splash, more of who I was washed away as I watched myself get rebuilt. Yet, everything had an emptiness to it. The colors remained muted; the liquids were too solid. The air moved like water; the ground flowed like molasses. Other emotions began to build within the framework. Fear built a nice house. Envy crafted plants. Happiness built the sunlight.

Then the world thrummed. From outside, came the new. Mana came, and I watched as it twisted my new self. It tore the land, mixing it with the burning water. It pulped the plants, using their remains to hide the sun. It did not touch the house. It more encompassed the house and dragged it back to the sea.

I cannot put into words what the mana did. I do not think that any of us could explain. It was foreign to me, much like life on other worlds would be foreign to me. Instead, I could only watch the mana suffused what I rebuilt with the sea. Mana dragged the water, forcing me to feel things best forgotten. The fear from birth, of leaving a safe warm place into an eternal unknown. The first pain, where something novel but unsettling fills the entirety of you. A first love, where everything will only go right. And many, many other firsts were pulled from my sea and mixed with the land.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

I watched as a muddy swamp, arose from the ground. The trees were wrong. The wrong color, the wrong height, the wrong makeup, the wrong limbs, the wrong leaves, the wrong everything. Parts burned, parts sank, parts glowed, parts smelled, parts were familiar, parts were foreign. A tree crafted from a plant, animal, mineral, and sky stood. Another rose, made of rock, flesh, water, and air. More plants began to rise from the ever-changing earth.

Yet everything was better. It was more vibrant. The air thrummed with power and life. The sky shown with misery and hope. The ground brought forth endless possibilities that took the shape of the plants and animals. And the sea drained.

I floated over what remained of my sea, as it was incorporated into this new creation. I dropped deep within it, collecting what little I had left of my barrier. This, this it could not take. This is me. I clutched the clod of dirt close to my chest as the infinite deeps began to run dry. I felt the grass wilt, the sand dissolves, the earth turned to mud. I clutched tighter, causing more of it to simply wash away.

In an age and in a moment, I stood in a field. Who I was, what I thought I was, just remained. Everything had been taken, used, to craft an endless field. Bright blue sky stared down at me. In front resided a bed, with Wuinal sitting there.

Without a word, I moved forward. The bed was made, so I carefully got under the covers. Tears wanted to fall, needed to fall, but already the mana had taken that away. I placed my head down, only to have Wuinal come over with my pillow.

I looked at the little gray fairy as he offered what little remained.

“Keep it,” I mumbled as I turned over. “It probably won’t last anyway.”

I felt the light go down as I closed my eyes. Deep breaths. Accept. Adapt. End.