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The flowers are coming in nicely this this year, Julie would have liked them. These white alyssums were here favorite.
Ah... shoulder pain is kicking in really early this year.
What is this pain? God damn it!
Tunnel vision... everything is going dark. I need to call for help.
...
...
What is that light?
"You know, I was reading your mind. Contrary to your feeble population's beliefs I don't damn everything. For you humans being created in my image you sure are a lousy lot."
"What? Who are you?"
"It is simple. I. Am. God. Unfortunately for you..."
"I'm going to Hell aren't I?!"
"Oh God no! See what I did there? Unfortunately, you have been 'selected' for a new creation of mine!"
"A new creation?"
"Indeed! You see, Heaven, Hell and even Purgatory have filled up. You humans make babies like there's no fucking tomorrow! Literally, just wait a few days or years, I promise there will be fucking tomorrow.... That aside, you are one of many people to be moved to this new world I have made. From there you will 'respawn' at a random age from your life, and you can grow up there, but when you die... That's it! Game over!" .... "Haha! Just kidding! Man I love the look on people's faces when they hear that. It makes me laugh everytime! But really, you people are ridiculous. About this new world, there are a few things you'll need to know.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
1. When you die, you respawn a number of years later. This number is randomly determined.
2. No fancy technology allowed, this means no planet killing vehicles that you humans love so much.
3. All beings have been sterilized. This is to prevent overpopulation, like you seven point something billion humans have mastered the putrid art of.
4. There will be creatures you recognize from some of your favorite fantasy stereotypes, but I'll leave those to you.
5. This planet you call Earth isn't the only place with sentient life, remember number four? Yeah, there are others.
6. When you wake up, you will be in a glade, from there you begin your life. You will be provided with basic clothes and knowledge of survival, you may also retain random bits of information from your past life.
7. Because I like the number seven so much, I will end it here, but first I must tell you. Be careful, humans are the bottom of the pyramid here. Oh, and no religion! I never wanted people to start praising me. It is annoying hearing all of the prayers. I can never respond, ya know? Ah what am I doing? Off you go!"
Before I had the opportunity to further our conversation I found myself staring at a bright blue sky.
Was it just a dream? Did I just fall again? This sky is pretty.
Sitting up I can tell that what happened wasn't a dream. I had just died, but why am I not upset about this? Wait a minute...
I sat up?! On my own! With no help!
Looking around, I was certainly in a glade with a thick veil of fog around it. The plants looked like wheat and regular grass.
Was this world modeled after Earth? Or does that guy make all worlds look alike?
Setting my thoughts aside, I stood up and dusted off my clothes. I was wearing something I might have worn in my 20's. A pair of black, pleated slacks with a leather belt. I appeared to be wearing a dark purple dress shirt with a black vest. I was also wearing a trilby.
Wait, a hat? Do I have... I do! I have hair! It's been so long since I've had hair!
Attributing my hair loss in my previous life to wearing hats all of the time, I grabbed the trilby and tossed it into the wind. My body feels spectacular. I haven't felt this good in... it has to be at least sixty years.
Tentatively I cracked my back, the pleasure from being able to do so made me exceedingly happy. With a breath full of fresh air I stepped out of the glade with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.