35

Vander felt immediate vertigo, a sense of instability. Even if he’d hated this place all the way to his soul, seeing it like this… it felt wrong.

Chrome walkways dulled beneath a coat of ash and scarred with streaks of smoke. Crashed Lyfts buried in shattered skyscrapers. The dull red glow of a dying AI left uncharged for too long blinked from beside a familiar doorway half blocked with rubble.

Dark clouds obscured the far horizons, almost as though the city itself turned into smoke and ash at its edges. Or perhaps there was nothing beyond at all.

"You were the strongest man in the world and didn't even know it."

Vander’s heart skipped a beat as he spun toward the familiar voice.

Madison’s voice.

Yet instead of joy or hope, he felt only anger. He already knew this wasn’t her, wasn’t real. This was a mockery, a facade meant to manipulate him. He couldn’t bear the knowledge that something else would be wearing Madison’s face, speaking with her voice.

His hands tightened into fists, sparks tingling across his knuckles and crackling at his fingertips. If he could have, he’d have strangled the impostor on the spot.

She stood in midair, hovering above the ruined city, a crimson aura surrounding her. Dozens of devices surrounded her, some he recognized, others he couldn’t have even imagined.

One thing united them all: they were weapons. Even the platform atop which she stood glowed with the distinctive light of mana. If she willed it, she could have leveled the city with that alone.

Or… perhaps she already had. His lip twisted in grim satisfaction, turning away to survey the city again. He’d told her to burn them all. Looks like she’d respected his last wish after all.

"You had her heart, mind, and soul as yours,” the hovering impostor’s voice rang out, a different note in it now, an underlayer of an echo. He could hear the differences now. The intonations were wrong, even if the voice was the same. “She would've done anything for you, and did everything to escape your ghost once you died."

“So what is this?” Vander turned back to her, staring defiantly up into the face that he loved and hated. “If you expect me to feel anything but pride in her work, you’re going to be disappointed.”

“This isn’t about you, idiot. This is about her. About the woman you turned into a monster and left to live in rage and pain alone for a thousand years.”

“She didn’t have to be alone. She could have had anyone she wanted.”

“She wanted you. And you kept her away. You left her behind. You walked into your fate knowing how much it would hurt her without ever admitting what you both knew.”

“That’s not true!” Vander wanted to grab the nearest chunk of metal, charge it full of his angry storm, and throw it straight into her lying face, but such impulses were fleeting and his control unwavering. “I would do anything.”

She drifted nearer, the weapons of destruction vanishing as she stepped down from her platform onto the gleaming hull of a crashed Lyft. “Anything. Except the one thing she asked.”

“It would never have worked! That place, that world…” Vander gestured around at the surrounding destruction. His voice dropped almost to a snarl. “This is a better fate than it deserved. It would have destroyed us both.”

She stood in the blinking red light, her dress flowing around her, eyes dark and empty as they stared into him. “It did. And you let it happen.”

“I couldn’t fight the whole world. No one could.”

“She could.”

“She was a creator! She wanted to build, explore, discover. Not destroy.” Vander was the destroyer. Always had been. His job was to fight. His allies who fell.

He was death. Nothing around him lived long.

Better for her to be separate. Even if his whole heart yearned for it to be otherwise.

“This is why she cannot rest.” The impostor rested a hand against his cheek, cold against the heat of his emotion. “Your hatred and your desire burn too brightly, too deeply.”

“No.” Vander couldn’t muster the energy to slap her away. The rage of a moment before had dulled. He wanted nothing more than a whole mountain of Faerie Dust to wipe away everything this encounter was making him feel. The despair and hopelessness of that life that he’d thought gone for good, dragged back into the forefront and thrown straight in his face.

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“She cares too much.” Her voice was gentle now, the intonation shifted enough that he could imagine it wasn’t her, had never been her. As long as he didn’t look up, he could be talking to anyone. “Even now she cannot bring herself to release you; only you can break her bonds. She suffered in loneliness for a thousand years because of you. Let her go. Let her rest. Let the memory tethering her to this suffering go."

Vander stepped back sharply.

She let her hand fall, making no attempt to pursue. "This isn't a choice. Neither of us will leave this place until you let go of your attachments to your past life. And yes, that includes your attachment to Madison."

“You’ve already corrupted her memory, now you seek to destroy it?”

“It is what she needs, Vander.” A pleading note crept into her voice, a hint of an accent bleeding through. “It is what you both need. You were never going to be right for each other, whatever the world around you may have been.”

“Don’t.” Vander wasn’t conscious of stepping forward until he had his hand around her throat. Sparks tickled his palm, the slightest push would send them tearing into her vulnerable body–

But the eyes looking up at him, set with determination beneath the pleading, cut straight through him. He couldn’t. Even knowing it was an impostor, that there was no chance this was really her… the pattern had to come from somewhere. If any part of Maddie survived in this time, this was where it would be.

He couldn’t destroy her, even if she was only a ghost of a memory. His hand dropped to his side.

“Let her go, Vander,” she whispered. “It’s the only way forward.”

“No.”

“What do you expect of me now?” The voice was suddenly, sharply, completely Madison’s. The underlying accent gone entirely. “Why do you hold me so tightly now when you never cared–”

Vander closed the distance between them, wrapping her in his arms and pressing his lips to hers. She responded in kind, mouth parting, arms tightening around his back, pulling him closer. He knew her, even now, even after so long. They fit together as perfectly as they always had, and it was a long, long moment before they broke apart, gasping for breath.

Vander’s voice was rough and low. “I always cared.”

Maddie closed her eyes, brushing her cheek gently against his chin. “And I still do. By all the gods, I can’t change that.”

“It’s really you.”

“No. I’m borrowing her body for the moment, just as she’s borrowing my form, but this isn’t me.”

“I don’t know what to do without you, Mads.”

“Then stay here with me for as long as you need. You have to choose, the past, or the future, but you don’t have to choose right now. If there’s anything you left unsaid, any place we need to visit, now is your chance.”

Between one heartbeat and the next, the city shifted. No longer the destroyed lifeless shell, they stood in an open garden in bright moonlight.

The paradise was more disconcerting than the destruction had been. It felt like a slap to the face, stunning him into silence.

“You have a second chance to be free. I've made sure of it. When you’re ready to move on, when you’re ready to let go, it’s all waiting for you. Don't waste it like before."

Maddie’s hands slipped off his waist, her eyes meeting his with fierce demand.

“You mean it,” he finally realized, an odd heaviness settling in his chest. “She wasn’t lying.”

Maddie shook her head slowly. “She has her reasons, and I have mine. I’m tired, Vander. So, so tired. You can’t imagine…” she trailed off and sighed heavily. “But the way you shine, I couldn’t look away.”

“Me? Shine? Hah. I could barely stay presentable in a city with automated plumbing, you should see me after a month in the wilds.”

“This is serious.”

“Why should I have to? Why can’t I move forward without betraying your memory? I–” Vander swallowed and forced the words out. “I love you, Maddie.”

“I have always loved you.”

“So come with me. If I can start over, so can you. We can find a way to bind you to that body properly, let you take control–”

“No, Vander. I will not steal another’s life for my own gratification. I’m not so far gone as that.”

“She’s stolen yours.”

“No. She’s borrowing it until I fade. That is all.”

“Then don’t fade. Stay with me.”

“And do what? Live in a false paradise until you go mad?” A tear slid down her face, glinting in the moonlight, a mirror of the distant stars. “That would do no good for either of us.”

Vander felt like his heart was being torn in two. He wanted her, wanted to stay here, wanted to live the life of freedom and love they never could have.

But that wasn’t all he wanted. He wanted to be a better person this time around. To create and protect instead of destroy. To do for others what Maddie had done for him.

“I know you. You won’t be happy here. Not for long.”

“Long enough.” He stepped closer and leaned down to kiss her again, gently this time, and realized that he’d already made his decision. “If I’m going to leave you behind again, at least let me say a proper goodbye this time.”

She nodded but didn’t speak. Only held him, giving him time to find the words he needed.

“I’m so sorry, Mads.” His heart ached in his chest, beating in a way it hadn’t in so long. They talked through the endless night, between other things, as Vander finally unburdened a lifetime of things unsaid.

As morning touched the distant fog that bounded their paradise, he knew the time had come. The look in Maddie’s eyes kept shifting, losing focus.

She wouldn’t ask—would never ask. This decision had to be his.

“I’m ready.”

“Are you?”

Vander leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, “Goodbye, Maddie.”

Softly, she brushed her lips against his one final time, then her eyes slid closed and she fell limp in his arms.