I startled, because Ryee tensed.
King Lyyyrah invited me to a foot race with him. He rolled with his leathery body and moved incredibly faster than I! I thought Oa Pas made me a quick runner.
Again, he took me inside the oval Yaht; I woke when he set me on shaking legs. Struggled to hide my unwell.
He staggered backwards, and felled a large tree. Righted himself. “I wish to know more of your people’s healing. If I learn healing for my race, will you send misat fe?”
“I will.”
“Visit me again in five Standard weeks.”
He turned and staggered towards the clearing. Ne attention to my closing speech. Wearily, I turned for the ship. My mind reached for J~oie. I found him ne! I ran towards the ship. He faded from my sight.
Mind pain pressed down on me. I lay on my front; he ached. With my last strength, I pushed up. I lay in a thick tangle of vegetation; far, I heard Esteerrian music. A huge, red sun nearly rested on the horizon in a deep green sky. Clouds nearly hid him. Smell of rains neared me. I feared darkness on Esteerr more than any danger here! Many animals roamed at night to attack and bite. My arms trembled. I pushed with my legs and pulled on the vines with my hands to move my heavy body. Darkness closed about me.
My mind reached for J~oie. Again, ne reply. I forced myself to move slowly. If I ne reached the ship, I feared he might lay dead and ne would find us but Esteerrians. Mentally, I sang healing songs to comfort my tearing heart. My rending head!
At last, my head bumped the hard smoothness of the ship. I sent the codes telepathically. The portal opened and I dragged myself in.
I ordered the navs to lift us.
J~oie held me. He cried!
“Ba, eae pas?” I wished for strength to rise. To look on him.
“Ryee, sleep. I am unwell to help you. Regen waits for you, if you can sleep. I will watch over you—”
“J~oie. You must sleep also. Do we need nesfa?”
“Ea, but after your regen. Sleep, Ba.”
I lacked strength for another question.
J~oie held me in the compartment, next I woke again. He checked my points three times, weeping softly. I laid in his lap, stilled with mind pain. “My ba, we must eat nesfa and sleep. Can you bear a bitter taste?”
I laughed. “After foods of Esteerr, ne is bitter.” Then, I remembered how I lost contact with my ba. “J~oie, are you unwell?”
“I failed you. I slept, after the Yaht. I woke, and found you in your—uniform—ripped—bleeding—”
“My ba, you ne failed me. You stayed beside me during my regen—”
His sobs echoed in my small ship. “Pas would bathe you in ea fae for such injuries! And I—slept—”
I held him as he lay beside me, gasping. “Ba, I lie in clean sleeping garments, warm, and comfortable but for mind pain—”
“If you had proper healing, ne as severe!” Breath caught in his chest.
“J~oie, stop. Let us eat nesfa, and sleep. I wish to comfort you when I am able. Now, let us sleep.”
He put two leaves of nesfa under my tongue instead of one, as in our last journey.
My eyes opened, but the effort in this brought my fear. I held J~oie, but he waxed cool. His heaving chest beat against my arm. His eyes closed ne completely, and orange crescents floated from one side to other in irregular rhythms. Breath caught in me.
“Ryee, fear ne.” Pas laid both warm hands on my head. “We watch over J~oie. Sleep beside him. I had to give him lem, istad, and huora, for I feared his heart would cease! He has danger. When you are fully well, I let him to wake.”
“Then, I must rise and show him my well—”
Pas whispered to my mind. Your fa is unwell with missions of late. I see you act to protect him from worry; he needs such. Follow my directions exactly, to save your fa, and your ba.
Sleep this night and tomorrow. Your fa thinks you ill with grief. How I wish it so! Ryee, you have many poisons with you. To hide your unwell, sleep.
Tears filled my eyes. J~oie thinks he failed me. He will die in his—
Share with me, my son.
I opened my mind nearly completely without meaning it. The lapse frightened me. If slavers had me, could they pierce him so easily?
Pas wept, but sang healing as I shared my fear in the darkness. Vegetation of Esteerr contains many poisons. I grieve, my son. Mind pain is ne my only concern. I must sedate you, as I do J~oie, to hide the acts of other herbs you must have. Fear ne. I can bring you to well.
I tasted several bitter herbs. Sleep closed my eyes.
J~oie held me when I woke. Fa embraced me, and Mea.
“Ryee, J~oie holds you. Can you feel his arms about you? Here is Yetza, to comfort you.” Tasted bitter Yetza, and felt strength. Pas sat next me.
I moved to hold my ba. We shared Yetza and pleasant memories, but fell asleep.
Pas woke us to bring us to my chamber. Se~sha carried J~oie. We ported, and mind pain pressed me to my bed.
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His hands felt heavy on me. “Liege, I fear porting may cause you to faint for several days. My lightest touch causes you pain—”
“I caused it! Ryee, if I ported to you, to help you—”
“And die in the field of rongahi, hapii, and dharsu? Father of All sent this unwell, J~oie, to save your life.” Pas sighed. “While your parents sleep, I wish to share this terrible memory. I wish to heal it.”
We shared a little more Yetza, and the whole memory. Pas fabricated a large bowl of ea fae. I stared at it.
“J~oie, you are too unwell to do this service for your ba. May I give you use of my body during this part of your memory?”
J~oie smiled.
I thought of my entrance to the ship, how exhausted I was, how my head ached. Pas massaged my head with such care, I felt more well. I remembered my limbs as Pas rubbed ea fae into each stinging ache. This sharing brought well to Pas also; he knew what Esteerr did to Fa, and wished to heal me during my regen. He imagined this, and felt my ease.
Ryee looked up and stared at the ea fae in my hand. The bowl, beside us. I cried as I bathed his head.
His red-gold eyes opened very wide as he touched my points. “Ryee, how is it you live? If I waited on your ship, from such a blow, you died in my arms!” He wept.
I trembled. “Did regen serve me?”
“Ea! You are healed, but I see the echoes of severe damage, and healing. Did you have a friend on Tch’Zbbatr who healed you? Only a Zbbat could heal from distance.”
“I felt ne healing, Pas—“
“You were in ne condition to feel it!” Pas took out ea fae from his terminal, a huge bowl of it. “For your comfort, and mine, let me offer healing to you. Rest, my son. Mind pain will ne leave you without my healing.”
As he rubbed ea fae on my burning head, he advised me long. “You have too many injuries for this young body. Teach Adia of ea fae when you marry her, for you need it every night of your life.”
I gasped, and felt most unwell. “For my life, Pas? But, you said I had healing—“
“You exceeded regen on Mesapa. Ne healer can help such, especially in one ne grown. It worries me that you trust your fa and your ba to give healing. It concerns me that you ignore mind pain that surely you had without pause these past three years. Pain can add to danger, or bring it. If you will ne call me to you, use ea fae and nesfa.”
I sighed. “When is severe, I do take nesfa—“
“And, when I fill your terminal, I ne see much missing in amounts helpful to you. Ration your health, young son. Age brings more unwells. I marvel that you live. Slaves come from mines with points that ne show as much damage, and yet, you have a position that requires all of your skills. They are yet with you!
“I am an old healer, and attended King Marel’vanrah much in his youth, at Ahstam’s side. Even he ne took as much risk at such a young age. Learn from the wisdom of our Liege and protect your health as much as you can in your work. Ne fear nesfa. When you ne have dangerous work, take of olsvih engb, as I advised you many times. If you can hide this pain, you can hide any smalleffect of mild herbs.”
My husband gasped. “When said Pas this? I ne ever went to Tch’Zbbatr—”
I hugged him, and he clung to me. Wept.
I kept rubbing ea fae into his head, and hummed. Enjoyed the echoes of relief I felt from him. His head ached.
“Ryee, p-promise me—”
“Anything, my Love.”
Oh, I hugged him. “Never hide from me.”
Another memory, another voice. “You gotta stop this! No wonder your head hurts so bad! When you’re Joined, you can’t fight the Link. Don’t hide from Cevit Ion. And don’t try to hide your mind pain from your wife. Ya wanna regen?”
I gasped. “Ryee, let our Link open. We are Joined. You must not fear that I shall feel your mind pain! Let me hear you, please?”
He wept, but he tried to open his Inner Circle. All his fears battered me. She will tire of my endless pains! Why did I think is well to do this to my innocent wife? I am ne but torture to her—
And, the memory I did not want to see. Eriganh stood over Ryee as he lay on a black stone table, cold as ice. He tasted blood. Eriganh slapped his right shoulder, loose at his side, and pain made sight fade to black. “See your father, how disapproving he is this morning!” He laughed.
Ryee’s father scowled at him and made a gesture of throwing his heart on the sand. Ryee gasped as he heard his father’s voice, a voice never angry or impatient, cursing the day of his birth—
His father was young when he woke on his father’s ship. Guilt burned in him because he had to finish W~Via’s treaty, on Mesapa. Eriganh's men found him and tortured him as he tried to reach the ship. Fa barely made it to the ship and treated them both for poisoning. His father did not respond. Poisoned. Days of miserable travel. Fa tried to hold him, and he cursed the day of his birth, because of torture. Pas wept. Brought Eas~, his healer, who also wept. He was beyond anyone’s healing, and they thought it poisoning from Mesapa.
Fa heard this and ported to us. “Ne, I ne ever wished you to hear these terrible memories! Dear bae, hear my voice, I love you, I would ne ever say this! Slavers torture men with fabricated memories such!” Memories flooded us, of what they did to poor Fae W~Via. Fa had experience he did not have then, hundreds of his diplomats' reports. Now he felt less guilt.
We all embraced, and Ryee wept bitterly, oh, he wept! And so did Fa. But, Fa took from the bowl of ea fae, and Pas came. “Ean, what is wrong? Ryee—” He held my husband’s head and I shared it all. I feared that he had injury from trying to spare me a little mind pain.
Pas helped him to open and sang healing. Then he bathed all in ea fae. “Listen to an old healer. Eat of Yetza and be calm. Breathe of ea fae. Ryee, eat of olsvih engb—”
“Can he have chocolate ice cream with caramel?” But not chocolate. Areon has none.
Pas made ice cream with caramel, and fed it to my miserable husband. He trembled until the caramel relaxed him. “Ea ea~! O, this is better than olsvih engb! Even without chocolate, he is very well. Sleep, Ryee. I stay.”
“Ea yeo, Pas.” He frowned at how slurred his words. “Eja fe n—”
“O, fear ne. Relief is ne intoxication, ne at all.”
Fa kissed his forehead. “Listen to our Pas. Ea, I am happy you feel relief.”
Pas hummed, and Ryee fell asleep, his head by mine. I felt safe.
I thought about the White Cube of Light and what Prophet Peri said.
Adia Rayaline, The One, who wields the White Cube of Light, Father of All wishes you to know that He loves you. He trusts you with this power. Love for your husband will conquer the Adversity. When you need the wisdom, you shall obtain it. Pray for blessings as you need them. Look to the tapestries, Child, and learn from them.
Love for my husband. I pulled his hand to my cheek and he caressed it. Warmth followed his fingers. Pirad could not heal pains from his many injuries, either. Progs controlled his shakings today, but I worried. My telepathy is too damaged for me to learn healing. Yet, in that future, I did become a healer. When unwells let me use my skills. I must remember this, after we are injured.
When I need the wisdom, I shall obtain it. I saw memories at times when someone mentioned places or people. Is this not proof? Yet, I worry that I see too late, or miss information that is vital.
Fear and doubt are part of missions. My husband has great skills, but he is not immune to it. They will be part of my new work, but I must not let them control me. Perhaps this will be easier as tomorrow melts into next month, next year. Our love quiets the turmoil that once dominated my mind.