This week is being the longest of my life, the fact that what everyone talked about was the court case not helping my situation, it seemed the parents would win by popular pressure in the end. As the years dragged along, the populace seemed more and more fed up with the tight leash the government had on everyone.
More and more people were talking about their missing relatives and loved ones, having never seen them after a confirmed or supposed trigger event. The government would just say they defected to the Dawnbreakers, and that was about it. They silenced anyone who kept talking too long. That's the usual strategy but with the amount of people coming forward and scandal after scandal of the government being publicized, the public was getting agitated.
I spent my time between classes fidgeting and nervous in the teacher's office, not paying much attention to whatever conversation people started with me, drinking way too much coffee to stave the sleepiness of having restless nights, which didn’t help with my anxiety.
“Are you okay dude?” Ben asked me, sitting down at the table we used to hold most of our meetings. The one I've been spending most of my time in unless I was secluded in my office browsing the Sleepwalker's forum. This was the second day I was like this, and he was the closest to me, but probably all the teachers were worried at this point.
“Yeah man, no problem,” I said absent minded looking at the small screen in the opposite wall. He glanced at it as well and coincidentally it was the court case, more like it was practically the only thing on the news.
“This getting to you? You’re always going about this stuff; I know it’s your job but relax a little man”
“Ah, yeah” I awkwardly laughed if he wanted to believe that, I wouldn't put myself in his way. It could even serve as a cover for how stressed I’d be over the next days.
“The way things are going if the family don’t win the Dawnbreakers might make a rebellion or something”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Ben; these Dawnbreakers probably are just the government’s scapegoat”
He looked around quietly and gave a rare, awkward laugh “You sure must be irked to be saying stuff like that man.”
“Ah, yeah” Ben’s a goody two shoes guy who wouldn’t go against the government in any situation, well at least verbally; he sees the shit that's going on as well as any of us but the guy has kids, the last thing he wants is to be going back home from work one day and no one hears from him again, ever.
“Yeah, sorry,” I said, drinking the rest of my coffee. “Well, I gotta a class. See you later, Ben”
“Ye, till later, try to get some rest Joey”
“Will do,” I reassured him, sure myself that it would be impossible.
Later that night I made my exercises and was glad that I have to subject myself to any experiments today. I had delivery again for dinner as I had been doing for all my meals outside the school lately, straying from my regulated diet, but I had no mental energy to cook and having a completely healthy diet wasn't really my focus as the research supporting it impacting triggering was extremely minimal. It couldn't hurt though, so I tried to do it, anyway. Maybe it was the hope, but I didn't feel that bad about eating lasagna.
Satisfied, I settled in for another restless night, staying on the cellphone for far too long then trying to sleep only to fail and check the forum again. Just a couple more days now.
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After a long day of monotonous classes, I tried logging in my phone as I’ve started doing more and more at the school, when a black screen stared back at me. I recharged it three times, the loading circle taking forever, just spinning and spinning and then again, 'couldn’t reach the server' stared back at me. I went to our other forums, all of them with the same result, all shut down.
It was when the tension was highest, barely two days before it was going to be my chance! With overwhelmingly good results from the other guys at the forum, I could barely focus on my classes and my colleagues. Each day was a day closer.
I reached out to the admin. No response. I struggled to not let the despair set in the weight of the all the hope I've built up rapidly crumbling inside of me. After a couple of dead ends, one of the other regulars finally could tell me what was happening. He said that he was accompanying the posts and Morning_Tea said he was concerned that he was being watched; if the government got wind of him, he was fucked.
Later the admin came to tell that people should clean their tracks before going dark himself. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. The fucking feds shut our stuff down.
The rage I felt was overwhelming, but I restrained myself from destroying my phone. My jaw hurt from clenching too hard, the anxiety I had over getting my hopes up was threatening to boil over. The hand holding the cellphone shook while holding it.
“Joseph?”
I jumped, startled. It was the teacher going out from the class I had now. I must've spaced out for longer than I realized. I buried my thought and grievances, putting out an awkward smile.
“Sorry Ms. Smith, had some bad news.”
“Is everything all right? I can cover for you if you need to cancel the class.”
“No, no. It’s nothing that serious. I appreciate it though.” As much as I trusted the way I hid my identity, changing my schedule at this time could only hurt me. I couldn't be caught this deep in another time if they got close. It would fuck up any chance I still had.
“It’s the court case right, one student told me about it” what she's talking about? The kids case? “A real tragedy.” She intoned with compassion.
“Yeah, right,” I told her, having completely no idea what she was talking about. I thought the family got the custody of the kid, did something happen this morning?
She looked around and after seeing there was no one she continued the conversation “I'm sure they’ll get justice for what happened.” she said. Then after a bit of hesitation leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, “The Dawnbreakers will surely do something.”
"Yes, I hope so,” I easily agreed with her, not at all engaged with the events. Everyone seemed really invested in this group recently. When I was younger, I used to believe in them more; hoping that they would come and give me powers. Guess the people don’t harbor the same hopes and just want them to overthrow the government.
It still seemed fishy to me. If the guys are such a thorn in the governments side as everything seems to indicate how come they haven't just been squashed like everyone else who gives any sign of rebellion? It doesn’t matter. I assured the teacher a bit more and then she finally left me on my own.
I took a deep breath in front of the door. I’d get through the day as I did every day. The curriculum pretty much memorized after so many years. I put on my teaching mode and entered the classroom.
“Good afternoon. Stop playing with that ball. Jean, go back to your seat.” I started the class with a bit of banter as normal, settling on the desk and taking out my supplies. “Is everyone in class today? Just tell me who didn't come.”
I finished the class call the bit of habit helping me completely transit and take out of my mind the distractions. I got up, clapping to get the attention of the kids. “Today I think we’ll be doing the presentations from that assignment.” A great day for a disaster. I could just mentally sit back for this one.
"And now its George’s group. Come on up front everyone!” This one was a normal presentation, like every single one of them. Just the usual presentation of teenagers, the low effort memorizing, done minutes before their time was up, as always. It wasn't till college that people normally started paying any attention at all to this kind of stuff. The presentation went as well as I’d hoped, people saying their pieces with no emotion, taking glances at slips of paper from time to time. When it came to the girl’s turn, she was visibly very nervous. The paper in her hand shook almost as much as her voice. It was really pitying, and I had to hold myself from just ending the whole thing. You had to appreciate her effort on doing it at all, but her shaking just kept getting worse, her voice failing.
I started getting up by the time her breath was failing. It seemed she would go through a panic attack. This probably would make her sit out of presentations for the rest of the year. A shame, but nothing that could- my thoughts ground to a freeze. Because suddenly, with no warning;
The girl was simply gone.