The drive back to the farm was quiet, both silent with their own thoughts, the stillness of twilight only disturbed by the hum of the bike as they left the city, leaving the lights and bustle behind. ‘Are you sure it’s ok for me to tell them about my plans? I don’t want to detract from you showing off your bike.’ She asked him as they made their way down the farm’s long driveway, dogs greeting them enthusiastically at the gate, bounding along after them as they sped past.

‘I’ll show it to everyone tomorrow, if I show them tonight everyone will want a ride.’ ‘You know the kids have all spilled already, right? There is no way everyone doesn’t already know.’ Ceit countered. ‘Then this will be a good way to distract them. If I’m going to show it off, I want them to get the full effect,’ he said cheekily, offering her a hand as she dismounted. She waved him off, she needed to be able to do this herself, if she was going to be driving her own soon.

Xia pulled a bike cover out of a saddle bag, carefully wrapping it, tucking in the corners, before they headed in. They shed their leathers in the mud room, finding a cubby to fold them to minimize the mud they would encounter. Mud inside leather was exceedingly uncomfortable. The familiar happy babble echoed down the call, calling them, along with the enticing scent of braised pork belly. Xia stomach gurgled loudly. ‘We just ate!’ Ceit exclaimed. ‘I can’t help it,’ Xia bemoaned, ‘I’m cursed with a fast metabolism. And those noodles had barely any meat. Can you even really call it a meal?’

Bickering, they made their way down the hall, greeted loudly when they made their way around the last corner. ‘I heard you have a hover bike, been holding onto that for a while, have you?’ Keris heckled, piling them each a plate as they joined the table, having already emptied her own plate. They had gotten back a bit later than expected. Xia flushed, pink high on his cheeks as he took the plate from her hands, ‘Are you going to give us a ride this time?’ Ceit’s little brother asked, excited. ‘Actually, Ceit has some news.’ Xia deflected. Ceit looked at him aghast. He really had zero tact.

‘Um, yeah,’ she had expected to have a little time to think, or at least get some of her own dinner before being interrogated. ‘I’ve decided to become an acolyte.’ She said, a little shyly, tucking a curl behind her ear. The table exploded in a cacophony of voices, all exclaiming at once. She ducked her head, quickly stuffing her mouth with food to avoid answering them all right away. She swallowed roughly, that had been a little bit too big a bite. She coughed a little, clearing her throat. ‘And that’s not all,’ Xia butted in, speaking loudly over the hubbub. ‘Oongx called her personally!’ A whole new decibel was reached.

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‘Settle down!’ Keris boomed out. ‘That’s amazing news, I’m so proud of you, love. I know Ovu had been after you for a while. He didn’t pressure you did he? Even if Oongx calls you personally, no one will think less of you if you don’t respond to the calling.’ Ceit felt a little slighted. She hadn’t been when Xia had questioned her intentions, but having Keris question her resolve, and in front of everyone, felt a little patronizing. Matronizing. Whatever.

‘I made the decision. Oongx’s message made me consider it for real, it had nothing to do with Ovu. I want this.’ She wondered if it had been one of her cousins, if it had been Luth, if the reaction would have been different, if they would have questioned her resolve, her ability. She did her best to shut down that line of thinking, it wouldn’t lead anywhere good. She was worthy and capable, she mentally recited. ‘How did Oongx speak to you?’ ‘When are you leaving? When is your initiation?’ ‘How are you going to travel?’ The questions came fast, and she did her best to answer them. Eventually the discussion shifted away from Ceit, transitioning to speculation about the cow’s own interactions with Oongx.

Ceit quietly slipped out the back breaking away from Keris’ praise to catch her breath, noticing the movement, Luth followed behind.

‘Ceit! Wait up! I…I wanted to say congratulations.’ She fiddled with her dark hair, draped over her shoulder. ‘And. I hope, I mean, it’s not because we haven’t been as close, right?’ She looked up, searching Ceit’s eyes, the words coming out quickly. ‘It sounds a little presumptuous when I say it like that.’ Luth winced a little.

Ceit wasn’t quite sure how to respond. She hadn’t really thought about the space between her and Luth as a motivator for her journey. Though she supposed it might have affected her decision a little. She had been feeling untethered here. ‘I don’t think so. But, I did miss you. When we drifted apart.’ ‘You did?’ Luth asked, voice fragile. ‘Did you miss me too?’ Ceit asked, hopefully. ‘Of course I did, you were the most important person to me. Still are. It was just so hard, to keep trying to be there for you, you kept lashing out, and I understood why, you were hurting and scared. It just hurt. I felt so… so frozen out. And you had our parents, it felt like you didn’t need me anymore, that you didn’t want me.’ Her voice broke a little at the end.

Ceit felt a bit ashamed now. She had always assumed that Luth was jealous of the attention she had received from their parents. She could admit now that she had been a bit self-involved. That her accident had affected the people around her in a way that she hadn’t been able to acknowledge or cope with at the time. She didn’t regret her feelings then, she had been working so hard to accept and love herself, but now, with some distance, she was ready and able to pay attention to how others had been coping too. She held Luth close in a tight hug, burying her face in Luth’s shoulder, the sweet milk scent of her soap enveloping her. Her eyes tingled a little, tears brimming as she blinked rapidly. ‘I’ll always want you. And I’ll miss you so so much.’ Luth hugged her tighter.