The years rolled by life changed, my business did in fact grow but more importantly my family did. Two years after my initial meeting my daughter, Grace Lynn was born. She was the apple of my eye, the end of all fears pertaining to myself. With my first look at her all my fear of my own mortality disappeared, replaced by a overwhelming fear for hers. She was my joy, this innocent creature that I was responsible for. It rededicated my desire for financial security, she would want for nothing her entire life.
Changing me from a nervous wreck into a more comfortable and relaxed father was a slow process. Her first fall trying to walk had me cover the entire house in foam padding. How my wife’s laughter rang in my ears when she saw it. I still remember her words.
"Darling, truly she is fine. She will fall, she will get bruised. She will go through the same troubles we did. Just like us she will survive her childhood and learn from every failure." Her words made me blush deeply looking around at our home, it vaguely resembled some sort of weird playground. If it was designed by a fearful parent it made me laugh at myself.
Slowly I settled into my daughter’s routine, my life was no longer mine, it was hers. Success in investments meant nothing for me everything was for her. She learned to talk, my overactive imagination ran wild with simple fears at even this. Convinced she had speech problems I started looking at specialists. My beautiful wife talking me off the cliff once again. Reassuring me that it was completely normal for children to have trouble with G's and P's. She went from crawl to run with almost no walking in between. I would come home to find a bruise on her cheek from a coffee table, then start ranting like a madman about concussions and MRI's. All the while my wife patiently explained that she was fine while trying not to laugh at me.
I had loved my wife before but with the birth of my daughter she changed into the most amazing woman. Motherhood changed her in some fundamental way, it was what she was meant for. Her reason and sense some innate ability to talk me off my various ledges. How she laughed at me, but she never once lost patience. Not even that first night in the hospital when I must have woken Grace a dozen times by leaning into her crib to make sure she was breathing. There has never been nor will there ever be a more patient woman.
Those moments, those precious first few years were the happiest I have ever known. The sheer joy of waking up to a house, ringing with laughter from those two amazing people, I can’t describe the joy of it. Sunday mornings before church, me in the kitchen making pancakes while they sat at the table, laughing at me and teasing me about my flowery apron. Even now I don't have the words to describe those perfect moments. I recall walking through the Ginter Gardens, a botanical wonderland in Richmond, pushing a stroller with my wife's arm locked in mine. Listening to her shout with glee at the butterflies, watching her wander through the flowers. Her eyes big taking in all the colors around her. Vividly I remember walking through Maymont, her amazement at the otters, the way she was completely transfixed by the koi.
Grace grew, her innocent outlook on life changing my perception of reality. The magic she saw in everything held me in awe. Mary, my beautiful sweet Mary, she seemed to know everything. She could answer every question without destroying the magic of my daughter’s imagination. She was gentle beyond measure, motherhood had brought to life a spark in her; a strength I would have never known existed. Marveling at her grace when they walked hand in hand along the pond in Dogwood dell, feeding the fish and ducks laughing joyfully. Even now the thought of it brings a smile to my face, an uncontrollable reaction; it’s one of the few times I smile. Remembering them, that life before filled me with joy and a burning rage so deep it wanted to destroy everything.
Opening the door that fateful night to another beautiful fall evening, the wind carried no warning of what was coming. The sun had set hours ago, Mary and I had stayed up watching "Gross Point Blank" for the 100th time. I was taking out the trash, my usual ritual before bed, the newly acquired puppy (or "uffy" as she was known by Grace) she was still struggling with P's. He had the normal puppy habit of getting in the trash around 3 am if I didn't take it out before bed, he was beginning to learn but wasn't there yet.
Standing for a moment by the curb, enjoying the beautiful evening inhaling deeply, breaking out in a fit of coughing. Smoke? Mike stepped slowly out of the darkness, followed as usual by John, Carnifex and the Justicar. I had become used to seeing them over the years, but never at my house! Staring in surprise at their approached, they always moved fluidly, with an almost angelic grace, it was unnerving really.
"Gentlemen? How may I help you? " The defensive tone in my voice reflected the shock of seeing them at my house.
"Robert, good evening. Perhaps you have forgotten, it’s been 5 yrs?"
"I assumed it would be concluded at our normal meeting on Thursday?"
"You have everything in order from our last meeting?" There was a laughter in his voice, slick like oil on water.
"Of course, everything has been liquidated and transferred to the account you specified in Chicago. I have been paid accordingly, copies of the tax paperwork have been forwarded to the PO box you gave me. The originals have been sent with a check to the IRS."
"Perfect as always Robert, you have been beyond exemplary in all of our dealings, I must say I am a bit sad to see them concluded, but a deal is a deal. I believe there is the matter of your bonus?"
"Bonus?" I was lost, it took me a minute to remember the promise.
"Yes yes, we must conclude all business.” He laughed.
“That wish business? I don't even know what that would be any more."
"We settled on those terms years ago Robert. There is no need for you to know, I knew then as I know now."
Lost completely with no idea what I would have wanted then, now my every wish was dedicated to my family. Nothing more than insuring they were provided for. My monetary bonus had gone a great distance toward accomplishing that goal. Five years ago, my mind was focused on starting my business and concluding my father’s affairs. There were no wishes I could think of, aside from wrapping things up and returning to normal life.
"I am afraid you have lost me John; I can't think of anything along those lines."
"Oh no worries, I will take care of it.”
"But..."
He moved so fast I felt rather than saw him. Suddenly he gripped me tightly, his arms were like bands of steel. He had more strength then was humanly possible. Slowly forcing my head back exposing my throat, for just an instant before the world swam out of view, I swear I saw fangs.
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The darkness swallowed me then swirling down into a depth I had only known in nightmares. My heart pounded, the beat hard and fast with adrenaline at first then slowly tapering off. The pounding in my head held my thoughts, my entire consciousness was focused on trying to keep that thump going. To no avail it was slowly fading, the beats spacing out more and more. Panic filled me, I struggled harder, focusing on every beat, but the gaps grew further and further apart. Primal fear rose fueling the fight against the darkness, struggling to keep it at bay. Just as the lights faded to a pinpoint, a voice echoed in my head.
"Live Robert, drink and live, or die. It is your choice."
A part of me recoiled, some animal part of me tried to pull back into the darkness to disappear into a world that was safer than this one. Then suddenly fear for my family and their future filled me, fighting hard to silence the voice telling me to drink. Somehow that fear knew it was the end and accepted it. It knew I shouldn’t drink, it knew. My mind twisted the fear convincing me to live for them, they are taken care of. Drinking would let me take care of them, protect them. Now the voice was amplified by the fear it boomed in my head.
Gulping the offered liquid to grasp at the light, panicking when it started to fade. Not even knowing what that light was, maybe it was my soul leaving? Others might say it was the vital life force that keeps all things alive abandoning a fading shell. I have long since stopped questioning such things. Religions are fleeting ideas full of hope for a world that doesn't exist. I have no answers regarding a soul or a life force, none of that mattered at this moment. With more knowledge now, so much more. Oh how I wish I had listened to that animal voice too not drink.
Whatever it was filled me with strength unlike anything I had ever known. It did not stop the thump from dying but rather made me completely unconcerned for such things. I no longer needed such trivial things as heartbeats. The strength poured into me as I drank, fighting up toward to surface, drinking deeply of the nectar that was granting me life.
“Enough." The faucet was pulled away, regardless of how I struggled. "You'll find more in there."
The voice whispered the secret in to my head as I was physically hurled through the air. Like a toy he pitched back through my screen door, sliding to a stop against the counter. Bones cracked on impact, the concrete counter broke with my spine. Panic filled me overwhelming the pain. The nectar was gone, maddened with hunger it was my only thought. There must be more! I must find more! It drowned out the sensation of my bones knitting back together.
Then I heard it, like siren wailing in the night. The scent screaming into my brain, consuming the last of my mind. That smell of sweet life, full and vibrant ringing in my mind. No thought existed more than hunger and need, I could feel this wailing siren screaming “FEED HERE!” It was more, more of the wonderful nectar of life. Then I was racing toward it, climbing on all fours like an animal over every obstacle, in my path.
There THERE! Some slippery type of cup held it, trying to escape me! Snatching at it in panic, it squirmed trying to slip from my grip. Alarming noises ringing out, I was stealing and some part of me knew it was wrong. Taking what I needed uncaring that it was not mine. I knew and did not care, I drank and drank until the cup was empty. The exhausted vessel fell to the floor, but my hunger was not even close to satiated. Blinded by need, absolute desperation drove me, another siren calling out to me. Another hidden stash of life saving nectar, scrambling hard toward the sound.
Like a crazed bull after a matador, Smashing my way toward salvation. It was smaller but so much richer, the cup moved and kicked but I did not care. My need was greater and would not be denied. Taking it into my grasp, drinking slower this time savoring the life and the strength it gave me. My blurred vision sharpened impossibly, my limbs harden like steel, unbreakable. A moth flying a block away; I knew where and what it was without even thinking. Reality was sharper than I ever thought possible. It swam back into focus letting me see every detail in vivid color, this vibrant beautiful red splashed all over.
This red....this tastes beautiful red, I had wasted so much, it was everywhere. I ......what was this? My mind coming back to some semblance of reality, a different reality then I had ever known. This red.....this red from ...my precious daughter? Grace? What? No……. laying dead in my lap, lifeless, her neck ripped out by some animal, by some horrible creature...by ....me? No,no,no the horror of the last few moments started to come back. Terror gripped me, frozen there with my reason for living, draped lifeless across my lap. Her pink nightgown splattered with vivid red blood.
My eye wander across the room to find her mother laying in a heap across the room, her head nearly bitten off. Blood was everywhere, the moments before frozen in my mind, tormenting me with what I had done. Slowly it replayed in my head, like a veil lifting my mind filling in the blanks. The precious cups I had needed so desperately moments before, my beloved wife and child. The reality of what I had done sank into my mind.
"NOOOOOOOO!!" My vision was so crisp it betrayed me, showing me every detail of the carnage. Every detail from the moment I was tossed into the kitchen to this moment sitting here with my dead daughter in my lap. The images carved into my brain, a permanent reminder of what I had done. This deep hunger, uncontrollable had driven me to kill the only two people that mattered. I had killed them, brutally, caused them fear and dread while doing so. They had suffered as I ripped out their throats to drink their blood. I had destroyed my reason to live, my want for life had killed them. Killed my reason to live and here I sat with my daughter’s body, her neck nearly severed from the savagery of my attack. Her eyes staring back into mine, filled with fear but now lifeless.
Frozen and numb still trying to grasp what had happened, slowly it played back again and again. Each time becoming more and more detailed, the look on their faces. The fear as they realized what I was doing, my wife’s desperate attempt to stop me from reaching Grace. Each replay sinking me deeper and deeper into hell, every second replayed in slow motion tormenting me. I screamed the first sound I had made since my final word to the Justicar......the Justicar?
John and Mike, they had done this, they had caused this. They had made me an animal.....my terror slowly began to turn. To change twisting, becoming more and more focused into a deep hatred. The hatred reserved for those who kill children, I hated them more than I hated myself. They had known, known what I would do, known what I would become. They had done this because.....why? Why had they done this....as if in answer to my thoughts.
"Your greatest wish Robert. When we met you feared death, you no longer have that fear." He laughed, it was a long way off, but I could hear it like he was right next to me.
"I will kill you!" I screamed. "Both of you will die by my hand.”
Screaming as I ran chasing that laughter, both of them laughing at me, at what I had become at what they had made me. Child killer, murder, they had made me death to those I loved and they had known. They had done it with thought and knowledge, I had physically done it but they had caused it. They knew, knew I wouldn’t be able to stop or control myself. Their laughter betrayed that plan, that knowledge. It fueled that anger burning deep into me, my only reason or want to exist was now to see them end. Once they are no longer I will die. I do not want this, but it will help me kill them. To see them laying lifeless at my feet like my beautiful child and wife.
Now you know my story, you know my sin and my shame. Maybe you can grasp the depth my hatred, my thirst for revenge. They are my only reason for existing. So again I say, if you believe only the smallest amount of this be wary. They do not want you to know about them, but you know now. There are others you will find if you seek them, the humans who hunt them; they fight the darkness. They know their secrets and their tricks. More importantly they know how to kill them. Seek them, do not seek me.
If you are one of them, one of the unholy creations who call yourself Children of Caine, you know my story is true. You have heard whispers of me, stories told as I hunted them. You know who I seek and you know should I find you, I am your death. You have been warned.
CLICK.
Snapping off the recording, smearing a bit of blood from the bag then dropping it into the alley below. The blood makes people curious and it attracts them, someone will find the recording, they always do. Some dismiss it as ramblings of a mad man, some think its a story by some student and nothing more. Some see a bit of truth and begin to look, eventually they are killed or find the real hunters. If they find it? Well, they already knew, in fact they knew before I set foot back in Richmond. I told them I was coming. Told them them when because I wanted them to know.