“Turn, you piece of shit!” shouted a large amoeboid at a stubborn bolt. The rest of the loading dock turned to look for a moment, including the Captain of the ship. She anxiously looked around before shrinking back to the damaged armor panel of the ground transport vehicle she was trying to replace.
“Corporal T’Rael!” commanded a voice behind her. As she stood at attention there was a humanoid with a quartz-based exoskeleton.
“Yes, Staff Sergeant!”, she called.
“What seems to be the problem?” The Staff Sergeant crossed his arms as he looked down at her.
“Plate’s bent at the bolt. It won’t turn, Sir.”
“Private Rhoda! Private Tulio!” Two vegetative, plant-like bipeds came running over in response. “Finish replacing these panels. Corporal T’Rael! Identify the problem with the engine in docking bay nine and run a security check.”
“Sir! I can’t-”
“Corporal! There’s an important shipment of weapons coming in later and we need this place spotless and ready; the kind of organized only a Zoalarian like you can manage. When you’re done with the engine, start on that.”
“Yes, sir!” Zoey T’Rael reluctantly went to the vehicle on the other side of the loading dock while muttering her argument for continuing to repair the engine to herself. Once she got the engine bay exposed she protruded her membrane into the motor. She ran all the way through it and did not identify any issues. “Well that’s weird.” She used her membrane to slowly expand through the other components adjacent to the engine. Eventually she got to a detached radiator hose, which led the engine to overheat. Fortunately, the Coalition military had significant funding and accumulated a huge surplus of all the parts needed to repair their vehicles.
She detached it, and noted that it was in pristine condition. As she walked to the spare parts storage area, she wondered what could have caused it to detach without damage. Once a new hose was attached and the radiator fluid was changed she walked to the back of the loading dock and began taking an inventory of the vehicles that needed relocation and the equipment that needed to be picked up. She was formulating an optimized strategy to organize the garage when she saw a shadow run across a wall.
She went to investigate and heard some shuffling from behind a nearby Manually-Operated Surface Exploratory Ship, or MOSES. She saw that the tailgate was down as she turned behind it. Inside appeared to be some food ration wrappers and a blanket. She stretched her membrane inside for a better look, but only found some mucus residue. She retracted herself from the tail of the truck and ran toward her Staff Sergeant. Rather, she would have. As she ran around the end of the vehicle she tripped over something solid and felt a pain in her side.
“Shit!” said the figure behind her. Disoriented, all Zoey could identify about them was that they were short and holding a tire iron.
“Wh-who are you?” She tried getting up, but the figure hit her again. This time it struck her in the nucleus and she collapsed, unconscious.
**********************************************
“Yeah, I’m in. It’s a bit more cramped than expected,” whispered a three-foot-tall man with a trumpet to his communicator. “Wasn’t flawless, though. That fucking driver needs to learn to take it easy. I had to pull off some hose to get him to slow down enough to get into this damned vent. Doesn’t he know people need to sneak onto his ship?”
“How inconsiderate,” the voice on the other side of the communicator chuckled. “Any idea when the delivery is happening?”
“Hey, Rusty, I just fucking got here, man. Not to mention my free hand is burned now. Thanks for caring.”
“What, the great Doot-Doot the Gnome doesn’t have some kind of gnomic resilience? Give me a break.”
“Fuck you! You don’t get to make fun of a race that isn’t native to this gods-forsaken galaxy.” He turned off the communicator. “I burn my hand for this shit and he needs a break? Whatever.” With his recently burned hand he pulled out a blueprint of the ship from his back pocket. After looking at them in confusion, he crawled forward to a four-way intersection. He put his trumpet to his lips and played a single note very softly and quickly made it crescendo. As the note ended the trumpet began to glow, and he looked at the blueprints again. “That’s better”
After a moment Doot-Doot figured out where he was and identified an easy route to the loading dock. He had a marker that he used to record the directions. He took his trumpet and played the same note, but in the exact opposite way to make the trumpet stop glowing. As he crawled in the right direction, he heard voices from above and below him. The intersection of the vents seemed to throw off those on the ship, as he anticipated, but he still quickened his pace.
A few turns later, Doot-Doot felt a sudden gust of air around him. He was violently pulled forward by it and was sent tumbling through the vents. As he got tossed along Doot-Doot began gasping for air. It was not long after that he saw an open airlock, forcing out the contents of the vent system into the vacuum of space. He quickly began to play a soft, peaceful melody as he approached the airlock. He was using the last of his oxygen and losing consciousness as he was jettisoned out of the ship.
Before he got too far, though, a bubble emerged from the trumpet. It first surrounded him, to protect him from the vacuum. Then the bubble moved him back into the vent before forming a barrier over the airlock until the venting sequence completed. Doot-Doot awoke with a gasp.
“I’m not done with you yet,” said a voice from the trumpet.
“Yeah, yeah. You won’t let me die, so might as well abuse it.”
“Don’t forget our agreement.” Doot-Doot rolled his eyes and continued crawling along the vents until he got to the loading dock. A sergeant was barking orders to organize the area as two figures were leaving. Through these orders Doot-Doot learned that the delivery was in a few hours, so he decided there was enough time to see what else could be of interest on the ship.
As he set out, nothing really seemed important enough to investigate. He passed a circle of soldiers making new recruits fight. He stopped to watch for a minute as this one burly recruit was pummeling a much smaller one.
“I could make a killing down there,” he muttered to himself. He reached for the vent door to drop down before forcing himself to continue through the vents . A little farther down he came across an orgy, which he quickly scuttled past. It was then that he found the flight deck.
“I’m glad to hear the weapon is safe and that there haven’t been any interruptions,” came the Captain's voice from below.
“Only the best for the best,” replied the rock-skinned figure on the communications screen. “The Coalition paid a lot of money for this weapon, so they’ve ensured that it will get to its intended destination.”
“Perfect. Speaking of which, have you seen it?”
“Only schematics. It’s going to revolu-” As the other Captain was speaking, Zoey and her Staff Sergeant came through the doors.
“Excuse me, Captain Raenori. I await your arrival.” The Captain hastily ended communications and turned towards the two. “This had better be good.”
“There’s been a complication,” led the Staff Sergeant.
“There’s an intruder, Captain.” said Zoey. “They knocked me out when I followed them back to their den in the loading dock.”
“First those rats they heard in the vent, and now this. Any idea who this intruder could be?” asked the Captain.
“I’m not sure, ma’am. They were too short to be a Coalition race.”
“You don’t know? I thought you were one of the smart ones. Go find them, Corporal. If anything happens to this shipment, it’s your head.”
“Yes, Captain!” Zoey ran off to identify where the intruder could have gone while the Staff Sergeant got his own verbal beration.
“Well that’s fucked,” Doot-Doot muttered. “ There’s only one damn weapon, and I’m not splitting it with whoever the else is on this damned ship.” He was snapped out of thought when the Captain began barking orders over an intercom to find the intruder. More cautiously now, he crawled back towards the loading dock to await the delivery. Shortly after, however, he saw a dark cloaked figure run from the direction of the flight deck. They did not have Coalition markings anywhere, and seemed to be trying to avoid detection.
Doot-Doot briefly screamed through his trumpet. A gray-scale, slightly transparent version of him crawled out of the horn and began following the figure. Using his copy, Doot-Doot was able to pursue the figure through the halls and into a closet. He kicked out an opening in the vent and dropped down to surprise them.
“So who the hell is ruining my plans to intercept a weapon shipment?” whispered Doot-Doot.
“What the hell are you?” asked the figure, pulling out a laser pistol. They were about the same size as Doot-Doot.
“I asked first, asshole.”
“I’m Ipal.” The figure removed her cloak’s hood and revealed herself to be an amphibious humanoid.
“Oh shit, what’s a Xendor doing on a Coalition ship? Are you working for the Endurance Corps?”
“Please, I prefer to get results. Now, back to my question.”
“I’m a gnome.”
“A what? Never heard of a gnome.”
“There’s a reason for that, but back to business,” deflected Doot-Doot. “If we’re both here for that shipment then we have a problem. There’s no way in hell you’re getting my fucking product.”
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
“Your product?” asked Ipal. “That shipment is mine!” She shot him with the pistol in her hand and all of his muscles began spasming. “Stun gun; never leave home without it.” She pulled Doot-Doot into the middle of the hallway before following a limping soldier into the bathroom.
Frozen, Doot-Doot was forced to writhe on the ground until three soldiers entered the hallway. Two drew laser rifles and fixed their sites onto him while the other picked him up and slung him over his shoulder.
“We found the intruder. Moving him to the prison hold.”
“I’m not alone,” Doot-Doot managed to say between spasms. The soldier carrying him hit him and continued walking. Doot-Doot tried to keep track of where he was based on the vent schematics. This became easier as the spasms eventually stopped. Eventually Doot-Doot was deposited into a small room on the opposite side of the ship.
“Idiots,” he muttered as they left the area. He brought up his trumpet and played the chromatic scale up and down to create a hole in the floor. The hole led to a vent, which he crawled through to make his way back to the loading dock.
**********************************************
The transport ship entered the loading dock and came to a stop not far from the entrance. A few dozen feet away was the Captain with five soldiers on either side of her. Zoey looked past her Staff Sergeant and another soldier to the left to see the Captain’s reaction, but she couldn’t see any emotion. She figured it was better than angry and began going over her mental checklist for the fifth time as she gazed around the loading dock.
“Captain Varbik! You run a tight ship,” said Captain Raenori as he emerged. “I haven’t seen a loading dock this organized in, well, ever.”
“Perks of having one of the only Zoalarians in the fleet, as I’m sure you’re aware,” Captain Varbik smiled while briefly gesturing toward Zoey. The show of emotion, however, was short lived as she interlocked her hands behind her back and relaxed her face. “Let’s get down to it then, shall we? Where is it?”
“Of course, right down to business.” Captain Raenori snapped their fingers and four soldiers emerged with a large crate. They set it down in between the two parties before retreating back behind theirs. “If that will be all.”
“Hold on. How about a demonstration?”
“I’m sure that won’t be necessary?”
“We had a situation before you arrived. I just want to make sure everything is in place. I’m sure you understand.”
“Nothing happened prior to delivery, but if you insist.” Captain Varbik ordered three soldiers on her left and the one to the right of Zoey to investigate the contents of the crate. As they opened it, Zoey was able to see inside. It was an adult hammerhead shark with enough cybernetic replacements to argue it was more synthetic than organic. The soldiers began running preliminary diagnostics, inspecting the weapons, and examining the cybernetic and organic components. “Well, you don’t see that every day.”
“They say it comes from out of the solar system. Apparently it’s one of the most ferocious beasts on its planet. I hear they call it a ‘shark’.”
“Wait, that used to be alive?” interjected Zoey.
“Watch your tongue, Corporal.”
“Captain! It isn’t right t-”
“Corporal! You’re dangerously close to an official reprimand.”
“Then file it! This is a living being, it isn’t ethical to use it as a weapon.”
“Ethics don’t win wars. Besides, it was your mother who came up with the alloying technique that led to these kinds of weapons. What would she think about your objections?”
“She made those alloys to help people, not end them.”
“She made a future for the Coalition. You should be proud to be a part of this legacy.”
“Don’t tell me her legacy when everything she did and what led her to those
conclusions are stored in me. This ‘legacy’ of yours only ends with all of us being more technology than people.”
“Lieutenants, get the Corporal out before she earns herself a court martial.” The soldiers on either end of her side of the Captain came to Zoey’s side and pushed her toward the exit as a trumpet sounded.
“Damn, Cap,” said a voice from the crate. It was followed by a series of loud, low notes from a trumpet and what looked like a grenade going off. The four surrounding soldiers were thrown across the room and impaled with crate shrapnel. Doot-Doot emerged from a hole in the floor where the crate once was. “I’d say she’s got a point, but you guys are already automatons.”
The remaining soldiers from both of the ships raised their rifles. The two escorting Zoey hesitated a moment to question helping the others before continuing to carry Zoey toward the door. As they turned away the cybernetic shark rose out of the crate and hovered in place as it booted up.
“Help!” shouted Zoey as she struggled against the two carrying her. As she finished her cry, she heard a weapon discharge and fell to the ground hard with the two soldiers. She looked to her sides and realized somebody had shot them in the back. She looked up and saw one of the soldiers by the ships was facing her. After a moment of shock and processing the other soldiers raised their weapons toward the renegade. Doot-Doot took this opportunity to play a march. After the first few notes, missiles began flying out of the trumpet toward the transport ship’s crew.
Confused and unnerved, Zoey grabbed the traditional, double-barreled shotgun on her back and began waving it around. The rogue soldier ran behind a nearby vehicle and took cover before firing at the Captain. Before long, all the Coalition soldiers in the loading dock were on the ground and bleeding from fatal wounds.
“Well, that was a shitshow,” said Doot-Doot as he turned from the remnants of the transport crew.
“You’re telling me, man,” said the rogue soldier. “You came in handy with that trumpet of yours. I guess I should say sorry about stunning you earlier.”
“That was you? What the fuck!”
“Yeah.” The soldier took off her helmet and underneath was the same bipedal salamander from before. “That’s my bad.”
“Ipal, right? No way you’re taking this hail for yourself.”
“Oh please, you’d be dead witho-” started Ipal.
“Who helped you?” interjected Zoey as she frantically pointed her gun at Ipal. “Your kind is too stupid to have infiltrated this alone.”
“Look, bitch. We haven’t come up with our own space travel yet, but that doesn’t mean we’re stupid.”
“Just less advanced.”
“Sorry we don’t have literally every memory from the birth of our species.”
“Look, we don’t have time for this shit,” interrupted Doot-Doot. “We should get out of here before the other idiots on this ship show up.”
“You aren’t going anywhere, you’ve killed over a dozen Coalition soldiers. I can’t let either of you leave,” yelled Zoey.
“Look, if you were going to shoot us you would have by now. You had the perfect chance and decided to be some dipshit bigot instead,” explained Doot-Doot. “How’s that going to look to the higher ups, especially with two dead Captains?”
“Sounded like you’re tired of this anyway,” added Ipal. “Leave with us.”
“Desert? No way, being a mechanic is my life. I’d never be able to work on vehicles like this outside of the Coalition”
“Didn’t they say you came from some scientist or inventor? Would they settle to be some grease monkey?”
“Don’t talk to me like you know what it’s like to live up to expectations of someone who doesn’t even exist anymore. I’m not her; I’m me, damn it.”
“Then stop letting her dictate your life.”
“Fine, but if we’re getting out of here then I’m calling the shots. I’m not letting this get traced back to me if it’s a huge mistake.” Doot-Doot and Ipal shrugged at each other and looked back at Zoey. “Now load whatever this is back onto the transport ship before I change my mind.”
As they guided the still-loading shark toward the ship Zoey approached the remains of Captain Raenori, who was also a Zoalarian. Fortunately, most of the remains were intact, except for the large hole in their membrane. She quickly removed her uniform to reveal greasy overalls. With a brief sigh of relief she switched the uniform of the Captain with her own and dragged it near the remains of the ship’s crew.
Adjusting to the Captain’s armor, Zoey walked toward the ship. Doot-Doot was weighing down the top of the 14 foot long shark as Ipal finished pushing them into the ship.
“So why did you convince tall, gelatanous, and bigoted to come with us? I think we could handle it ourselves,” asked Doot-Doot.
“Probably, but I have no idea how to fly this ship,” chuckled Ipal.
“What makes you think I don’t either?”
“How was I sure you’d help me? Convincing her also roped you into it.”
“You both infiltrated a Coalition ship, one of you has to know how to hack into the system,” interrupted Zoey as she boarded.
“I know my way around code,” replied Ipal.
“Get into the system and switch my biometrics with this Captain.”
“The personnel servers? How the hell am I supposed to access that from this transport ship?”
“Useless frog, I thought you said you knew how to hack.”
“It doesn’t work like that, asshole. I need a connection to the full files of soldiers, these transports only check if there’s a valid code.”
“Think, damn it. I thought you said your species wasn’t stupid.”
“The shark’s Coalition, right? Probably has access to determine friend from foe.”
“Maybe you aren’t a complete idiot. Get it done.” Zoey turned to Doot-Doot. “Make sure this ship is ready to fly and get in the cockpit.”
“Hey, hey, hey. What makes you think my dumb ass knows how to fly this thing?”
“Turn it on, fly forward. It’s not hard, trumpet man.” Doot-Doot gave a sarcastic salute as Zoey went toward the communications station.
“This is flight control to Captain Raenori. Acknowledge immediately, over,” said a voice through the communicator.
“Roger. Captain Raenori to flight control. Say again, over,” replied Zoey.
“Roger. Flight control in Alerfa. What is happening, over?”
Zoey paused for a second before responding, “roger. We were demonstrating a weapon. Situation safe, over.”
“Roger, the Captain can certainly get into her projects, over,” joked the flight control operator.
“Affirmative,” Zoey laughed. “Verify we are confirmed for take off, over.”
“Negative. Craft zero five two nine whiskey LUAW, over.”
“Roger, over.”
“Trumpet man, move forward and wait to the left,” Zoey whispered as she checked the transmission button on the communicator wasn’t pressed. “Xendor, are you done hacking yet?”
“Ugh, I have a name you know,” Ipal responded as the ship jerked toward the waiting area.
“Nipple?”
“It’s Ipal and you know it. Anyway, I have been. Your biometrics have been switched for a few minutes now.”
“Well I guess you are good for something. Now hop on navigation and make sure we don’t hit anything.”
Zoey pressed the transmit button again, “Captain Raenori to flight control. Verify we are confirmed for take off, over.”
“Affirmative. Alerfa had to be lifted. Flight zero five nine whiskey cleared for take off, over.” Before Zoey could relay the information the ship accelerated faster than Zoey had ever experienced before. Doot-Doot took the ship and blasted it through Coalition space and didn’t look back.