Sweet silent nothing, just the gentle eddies of swirling darkness caressing his unconsciousness. Then suddenly, a light. He raised an arm only to discover that his arms were not there, neither were his legs. He looked around desperately but found he was nothing, no body at all, just more of the dark mist that filled the space he was in. What happened to his body? Who even was he?
Suddenly awareness flooded into his mind, painful awareness full of shouts and the sounds of people. A voice pierced the veil over his mind, a woman’s voice. She spoke urgently and with seeming authority. “It's fading again, get me that neuralink connector. One hundred milligrams of adrenaline now!” The female voice was deep, almost husky. Underneath the sounds was another one, a strange tinkling like small bits of metal or glass tapping against each other. He found himself wondering idly what was happening, whatever it was it sounded like an awful lot of trouble. Too much trouble to bother himself with. He drifted back from the edge of consciousness and into the embrace of the dark once more. His mind went blank as his heart stopped once again.
**********
He snapped awake. He tried to look around but he couldn't see anything, everything was darkness. He tried to breathe but found he couldn't, his arms and legs wouldn't respond to his commands. He started to panic as claustrophobia began to set in, his entire existence locked in a closet with no doors.
Suddenly light flooded his existence, harsh and bright. He would have shielded his eyes if his arms were working. Instead he squinted, or tried to. Only his left eye responded to the command, his right seemed to be incapable of such an action.
After a few moments of adjusting, he looked around again. His curiosity warring with the panic in his mind as he took in the surroundings.
He was in a large room, the walls and flooring white. The clean clinical lines of a hospital met the brushed stainless steel legs of tables covered in computers and other devices who’s nature he could not divine.
He tried to turn his head but found he couldn't. Was he restrained? Again the question of his own identity flowed into his mind. He frowned and tried to remember. The darkness yes, and the voice. But before that? Nothing, nonexistence. This seemed wrong to him even though he couldn't explain why. He knew that he had to have come from somewhere, but why did he know that?
What frame of reference did he have for any of this?
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door hissing open. Flicking his eyes as far to the side as he could he tried to find the source of the noise. Another sound followed, the sound of footfalls, but strange. It sounded as if there were two people walking in lockstep, like two pairs of feet in tandem.
This mystery was solved as a large figure walked into his line of sight. It was a gre’vahn, the individual having a centauroid body structure with four clawed feet and a raised torso with two long arms. The gre’vahn turned towards him, their white clothing contrasting with the brilliantly colored sash they wore. His attention was drawn to the sash, it was covered in exquisite embroidery and small patches. Little metal medallions and honor badges jangled from it prettily like a wind chime as he followed the sash up and over the individual's impressive bust. A female then it seemed, her lab coat parted at the top to reveal just the slightest bit of furred cleavage.
The woman’s wide, almost cat-like features were buried in the dataslate she was holding. Her fingers tapping away on the display. She looked up and then hissed in alarm before seeming to recompose herself.
“What are you doing awake?” she asked in an accusing way.
He frowned. Why was he awake? He couldn't find a good answer and so replied “I don’t know. It seemed like the right thing to do I guess.”
“Fascinating…” the woman said as she stepped closer. Her ample chest was at eye level to his head, ‘Damn, she is tall.’ he noted to himself. He found himself only inches from the woman as she leaned down a bit and peered directly into his face. “And what is the reasoning it gives? Because it seemed like the right thing to do? Just incredible.” she stepped away and to one of the computer terminals on the other side of the white room.
He looked around as much as he could, it seemed like the woman was the only one in the room and so he figured he might as well try to get some information. “Hey. I mean, excuse me ma’am?” She looked back over to him with incredulity, as if him speaking were the most incredible thing she had ever seen. “What am I doing here, who are you, and why can’t I move?” he asked.
The woman set her dataslate down and trotted over to him again, seeming to walk behind him. He heard a few things clank together as she muttered “No, no that's normal, and that one too. So then why the spontaneous cognition? None of the others have displayed such revitalization tendencies? Did we get an incomplete unit? No no. Impossible.” she walked back in front of him. “You… You can see me?” she asked slowly.
He frowned. What an odd question. “Of course I can see you, what on Kondirak do you mean?” He asked her, not sure what a Kondirak was but feeling like it was the correct word to use.
She smiled widely, her mouth seeming to reach from ear to ear. “And you are aware of me? Oh this is unprecedented. In all of my research I have never had a subject to cross this boundary. You are my first!” she seemed to squeal in excitement, though her deep luscious voice made the sound more akin to a low growl.
“Yeah, great. But you still didn't answer my questions.” he said, this time a bit annoyed.
She gasped and nodded “Right, I'm so sorry, how could I be so rude. I am Dr. Abernathy Jehennison, though most just call me Dr. Abby. As for what you are doing here, well… You are my patient, my first real successful patient too!” she said excitedly with a little hop.
He smiled in spite of the situation, she seemed so excitable, and a doctor too. Did that mean he had been in some sort of accident? It might explain his lack of memory, though again he couldn't explain how he knew that. He decided to ignore it and instead said “Well, nice to meet you Doc. I don't suppose you could undo these restraints?”
Dr. Abernathy cocked her head and asked “What restraints?”
He frowned again. “What restraints… What do you mean what restraints? The ones holding me here of course.” He said a bit irritably.
She seemed to suddenly get very concerned. She picked up the dataslate and gripped it tightly while glancing off towards the area she had come from. The door he supposed.
Creeping closer, she seemed to be trying to come up with an explanation before she said “I hate to be the one who has to tell you this. But… You died. Technically you died more than once. I did my best to save as much as I could but… Well, here let me show you.”
A sense of dread was forming in the pit of his stomach, or at least where his stomach should have been, he couldn't really feel anything below his neck. Dr. Abernathy walked to his side and then seemed to press a few buttons on her datapad. He watched in first fascination and then growing horror as a panel on the wall across from them slid up revealing a mirror, and a true reflection of himself.
His body was gone, arms, legs and torso no longer there. In place of his torso was a compact jumble of machinery and bionics that looked to be a complete set of augmentations. Heart, lungs, even artificial guts. But the thing that jarred him the most was his own face. His left side looked normal, brown eye and short cropped brown hair, but his right side. It was a mess of raw cybernetics, his head shaved and the implants obvious through the pallid skin, his right eye was gone as was part of his cheek. Replaced instead by a cold blue robotic eye that seemed to stare into his very being even though he knew objectively it was him.
He began to feel the panic rising in him. “What? What happened to me? What… why…” he spluttered, he could see the beating of his own bionic heart, the swelling of his new lungs as he took great shuddering breaths. He knew he was reacting strongly, but given the situation he didn't care.
Dr. Abernathy seemed to go into a panic as well as he started to break down. “Oh no, please calm yourself, I know it's a shock but you need to understand. We did everything we could.” She raced away from him towards the bank of machines he had noted earlier.
His mind was racing, what kind of accident had he been in? Who had he been? What kind of monsters would do this to a person, to a sapient conscious being?
Suddenly the feelings of panic lessened and he frowned, it was as if somebody had turned a switch in his brain. Lessening the strength of his emotions and leaving him feeling a bit empty. He frowned and then glared at the large woman in suspicion.
Before he could speak however he heard a great crash as if a door was being slammed open and a new voice spoke. This time deep and masculine, full of authority and a bit of anger.
“What kind of drek do you have going on in here doctor!? Is this the kind of professional work ethic I can expect from you? I was coming by to take a look at my latest million credit investment and do you know what I find?” The angry voice shouted from beyond his vision.
He tried to speak up but found he could not respond, his mouth worked fine, but he produced no noise. Was this another trick of the doctor’s or had he somehow injured himself? Grumbling internally he decided to listen.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Dr. Abernathy shuffled side to side on her clawed feet. “I have been working, diligently.” She started to say.
The other voice cut in, slightly louder than before. “I find failures, I find waste. I find you in here with your latest hunk of dead weight and it’s even more pathetic than the last one. I mean look at this scrap.” The voice came closer and then into view walked a broad shouldered slaaveth man. His scales dull with age and his frills slightly droopy, but he stood tall and ramrod straight in his pressed and decorated uniform.
A uniform that was all too familiar to him, though he couldn't say why. He tried to remember but found that the harder he tried to grasp at the fragments of memory in his mind, the faster they seemed to slip through his mental fingers. He would have sworn if his voice was working, the anger must have shown up on his face as the uniformed man suddenly stopped talking, taken aback.
“Wait, what is this? Are you doing this?” The older man asked Dr. Abernathy.
She shook her wide head and responded “No, not at all. I was about to send you a message, this subject is a success. Documented brain death but the subject remains conscious, intelligent in fact too.” She said while showing the man something on her dataslate.
The uniformed man seemed to think it over and then turned to look at him. “It can talk?” The man asked her.
“It can. And with much lucidity as well. Here I will unlock their larynx.” At her words he felt something seem to loosen.
The uniformed man stepped closer and said “Hello there, my name is General Drask Muindo, commander in chief of the PDF. Do you understand me?”
He looked at Dr. Abernathy for a second and she gave him an encouraging nod. “Yeah I get you. What the fuck is going on? Why am I a fucking znotwing on a stick here?” He asked not knowing at all what a znotwing was but feeling like it was the right thing to say.
General Drask smiled widely, showing his pointed and serrated teeth. “A success indeed, and it has some fire too. This is good, oh and doctor?” He said suddenly, turning to the larger woman and looking up into her face.
She swallowed and asked “Yes general?”
The general nodded and replied simply “Good work. Keep me posted.” And with that the man made a crisp about face and walked from the room without another word. The sound of the doors hissing closed behind him followed by a long silence.
Another few moments ticked by before he said “That guy seems like an asshole.”
His comment was so spontaneous and on the mark that it caused Dr. Abernathy to break out in laughter. “Oh you have no idea… er. I don't know what to call you. I'm sorry, I have never actually had a conversation with one of my subjects before.”
He looked at her, staring right into her large silver and black eyes. “Nevermind that, what did you do to me?” He asked, trying to put heat into his voice but failing to muster the emotion necessary to make it believable.
She ducked her head as she pranced in place nervously. “Well, I was afraid you might hurt yourself so I turned on your emotional inhibitors.” She winced as he grunted disapprovingly.
“Look, Dr. Abby is it? You have already taken so much from me. I understand you were just trying to help, but please. Don't take my humanity away, my ability to feel is as important as your connection to house and kin.” He told her sincerely.
She nodded and asked “Well. Please promise that you won't freak out then. I'm not sure I could handle another failure.”
A bit cryptic, but it had gotten the result he desired. Slowly the golden glow of pain and horror blossomed anew in his mind, but alongside these grew hope and excitement. The emotions not mutually exclusive, instead being admired in concert.
He gave a large sigh, not at ease with his situation but more in control than he had been originally. “Thank you doctor. I can handle it. It's just, it's all so strange. I know things, but not who I am. I know that I should know who I am but not how or why. Does that make any sense to you?” He asked her with a bit of sadness tinging his words.
The large gre’vahn woman nodded, her face a mix of alien emotions. While he couldn't read the small subtleties of her features, he could see that she was affected by his situation. She gave a small noise almost like a hiss before saying “It’s amnesia, common among those with traumatic cranial injury. Though in your case it's compounded by the fact that you died multiple times on the table. In fact, you seem remarkably lucid for what you went through.” She said with another wide smile. She gestured to him and said “You may have lost a lot, but you have gained a lot too. Here, I will show you.”
He watched his reflection in the mirrored wall curiously as she approached and began to mess with the machinery next to him.
“What are you doing?” He asked her curiously.
Dr. Abernathy just shook her head and replied “Just watch.”
So he did. His remaining eye opened in fascination as the machine he was attached to opened up like a flower. Arms holding other pieces of machinery reached out towards his shattered form and began to slowly attach to him. He continued to stare as first an armoured torso covered his exposed vital organs and then arms attached themselves to this frame. Next came a lower torso and legs, the clicking of pins and whirring of magnetic bolts reaching his hearing.
After only a few minutes he was completely changed. No longer a ruined corpse, now a cybernetic triumph. Every joint and seam crafted for flexibility and function. In short, he had become a masterpiece.
“I… What? This is remarkable…” was all he managed to utter.
Dr. Abernathy smiled and stood in front of him before pressing a button on her dataslate. He felt his neck loosen and was able to turn his head for the first time since he had awoken. Looking down immediately he marveled at the slick gunmetal grey and dark blue of the cybernetics. It was like he was some sort, no, he was a cyborg.
She looked him up and down before saying “Okay. Your neuralink has integrated with the new hardware, but you might experience some difficulty in moving to begin with. Everyone’s nervous system is different and it takes a little time to optimize it for each user. Of course, its hard enough with just an arm or some legs. Not to mention…” she gestured to him.
He smiled, a genuine smile as he said confidently “It's okay doc, I got this. Let me do it.”
She seemed a bit skeptical but pressed a myriad of buttons on her datapad. He grunted as new sensations flooded his mind. His limbs, which up to that point had been background noise, were now the main focus of his thoughts. And they burned like hot wires running through his bones. Bones and flesh that he no longer had but could still for some bizarre reason feel.
He gritted his teeth and nodded to her “Ok. I'm fine, unlock me.”
She gave him a worried look, her brows scrunched and her mane ruffled, but she did as he asked.
All at once he felt his body seem to relax and made a physical effort to stay standing. It took almost all of his attention just to keep his new legs from giving out under him, but he growled and did it.
Looking straight ahead he focused on one of the tables across the room, it was light grey with shiny metal legs and covered in a pile of documents and folders. With this goal in mind he took a deep breath and stepped forwards.
Disaster struck as his first step failed spectacularly, his leg giving out almost immediately and pulling the rest of him off balance. The immense sensory feedback stunned him and he froze, his head rebounding off the hard white floor with a meaty thud and causing him to lose consciousness almost immediately.
Some time later he regained consciousness and found himself back upright and locked in place. He groaned as a throbbing headache washed over him causing Dr. Abernathy to look up and then rush over to his side.
She peered into his face intently, her wide semi-feline features once more full of worry. “Are you alright? Please say something!” She pleaded him.
“Ouch…” He stated obtusely. “My head is killing me, you got any asprikick?”
She shook her head and said “I wouldn't be sure what dosage to give you anyways. Considering how little of you is still biological…” she started to say but stopped as she saw the look on his face. “I’m sorry, um. Well, I need to give you a name. I can’t just keep calling you subject. That doesn't seem very fair.”
She fiddled with the machine a bit and his headache seemed to lessen. “That’s better, what did you do?” He asked.
She shrugged. “Not much. Your neural processor was just overloaded, the electrical feedback was likely causing the headache. I just disconnected your extremities.” She said nonchalantly as if she was speaking about chopping carrots.
“Disconnected my what? You are going to put them back right?” He said quickly as he tried to look down.
“Oh no, not physically disconnected. That would be a pain in the hindquarters. No, I just switched them off, lessening the strain on your neural circuits.” Dr. Abernathy said with a reassuring smile. Well, what was supposed to be reassuring. To him it looked more like she was about to swallow a whole melon, her wide mouth revealing twin rows of several dozen teeth each.
He would have scratched his head if he was able, instead he sighed and asked “I can’t remember my name. Should we just make one up? Like, uh…”
She stepped forwards “Well, what if I called you, George? That's a fun name right?” She said cheerfully.
He scrunched his nose. It was a fine name, nothing at all wrong with it. So then why did it feel so wrong, so twisted in his mind. “No, what do you call me now?”
“I don’t call you anything now.” She answered.
“No. That’s not what I mean. I meant, what is my designation in your little computer there. I mean, it has to call me something right?” He asked earnestly. Surely the computer files had to have him labeled as something right?
She suddenly looked a little sheepish and he watched as she began to fidget. One back leg twisting as she plucked at the floor with her long clawed toes.
He asked again “Well, what is it? It can’t be all that bad. C’mon I can handle it.”
She swallowed heavily, and then said bluntly “The computer has you labeled as ‘Aberration Disposable Subject number thirty seven.”
Silence reigned for a full thirty seconds before he nodded and said “Oh.”
She immediately tried to mollify him but he smiled instead and asked “Aberration Disposable Subject huh? Well, I imagine I have been called worse things in the past. Though I don’t really know for sure.” Dr. Abernathy nodded and he continued. “Aberration. Hmm, Dr. Abby huh? What if we called me Abel?” He asked her. “Then we could be Abby and Abel right? Perfect combo.” He finished with a smug look.
She smiled and let out a held breath “Yeah. I love it, I think it’s perfect, Abel.” She said smiling.
Abel smiled too. It felt good, it felt right. He might not have known who he used to be, but now he knew who he was. Who he would become was still up for debate. Looking at her he asked earnestly “Sorry for trying to do too much at once Dr. Abby, I’ll take it easy from now on. Can we try again?”