I felt like meeting Rebecca had been the quickest exchange of words I had ever experienced. In fact, I felt like this was the most I've ever interacted with someone in one setting, and yet we only sat together for a brief time. No one had connected with me before to such an uncanny degree. There is no one I had ever met who had such a similar tempo to my humor, the way I thought, and the way I talked. I've never met someone before who thought at the same speed I did: not slowly nor faster than I did.

She was the first person who maintained eye contact. It was weird too, in fact I felt like my vision became blurry at points. Something was different about her expressions, but I couldn't place what. As a result, I felt like there were points I had trouble making sense of her facial features, similar to if I had said a word too much, and now the word looked or sounded funny.

I've never met anyone who listened to me as crystal and clearly as she did. It was like nothing else occupied her attention. It was like our interaction was the first and possibly last thing to have ever happened to her, and yet we had only met. I've never met someone who gave me such clear and attentive signals. Everything on her mind, everything in her feelings, everything in her interests were communicated to me in concise, supportive ways.

She had given me the kind of respect I'd never received before. She gave me the kind of respect I wanted. I wasn't given a cold breeze or a stifling smothering of heat. She respected my boundaries. She kept inviting me to say more while amply giving her thoughts. In some sense, it felt like we were pouring each other's thoughts into one place instead of playing tug of war for who gets the other's attention. She was refreshing. She was very refreshing and energizing. Instead of becoming exhausted from being lectured or from being forced to claw at her attention, she gave me energy, life, and everything else I needed to survive this interaction.

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I don't know what kind of connection I wanted with her; I almost don't care. I felt a burning instinct, a feral and unchained desire to secure some sort of connection with her. I don't know what I want from her, or how I want to be involved with her, but all I knew is that I had to maintain some sort of connection. I didn't know how, but I knew there was nothing else that mattered up to this point than her.

Nothing else mattered- no trinket, no food, no experience, no hobby or interest, or job, or goal or achievement, or feeling or vice moved me. Nothing gave me anything but a detached sense of contempt. No one else had either cared about me and not in any minuscule capacity. No one made an attempt to care about me or anything related to me. No one else had made an attempt to be a person worth caring about, either. No one else was funny, and especially not in a way that matched my humor. No one else was informative without having to pull teeth just for me to learn anything. No one else cooperated with me and gave every excuse to ignore me.

For me, I had just received the greatest honor I've ever felt in my life. For her, it was just another day. It's not that Rebecca cares or cared about me. I think she's just like this. I think she's just someone who genuinely gives compassion to others. I felt no spark in her eyes that would suggest she wanted from me or had some sort of a crush on me. She might even forget about me. During that time, though, she gave me more respect than anyone else had before.

I teared up. I let paranoia flood in. Even being gone for a moment made me feel like a vital component of myself had been removed. I have to secure some sort of connection with her.