My situation is a consequence of my inaction. A family destroyed, its name in ruins, and now I am here, sitting in the roaring fires my circumstances led me to. But was it really because of my circumstance? A person, maybe some rich millionaire, might argue that blaming the situation on circumstance instead of yourself is an excuse for not being successful. I don’t know who to believe. There’s no one left to tell me if this is really my fault.

Fifteen years ago, two people met on a cruise, one being a mayor of a city and the other an unparalleled young beauty. They met, fell in love, and had a single child the year after. It was a male, and they named that child me: Aaron Leum, son of Barry Leum and Alicia Leum.

The years passed by peacefully for me since then. My dad wouldn’t be at home often, instead doing his duty as the Mayor of Maceret, the town we lived in. However, he would often tell me all about the duties and responsibilities a mayor had. I was under the impression that a being politician was a noble duty, and I wanted to become one just like him.

Isn’t that funny? How I used to think that after all that has happened over the years? I don’t know. It at least makes me want to laugh.

Or cry, who knows. Filling the role of watching me at home was my mother. She was sweet and caring at first, but that stopped six years after I was born. The mother, who once used to play games and have fun with me, started to become more indifferent and apathetic to my situation.

“Oh… Aaron. Why don’t try you try er… playing with your school friends! Mommy has things to do and can’t spend her time with you all day.”, she said in a tone that betrays some of her exasperation.

I was a little confused and disappointed at first, but didn’t really question it and went on to someone else.

Seven years ago, mommy would go out more often, and daddy wouldn’t come home some days. That left me the only one home. They never hired a caretaker for me. I never found out why.

I was confused and lonely those days, but they wouldn’t talk about what they were doing when they weren’t home. Children aren't stupid. I knew that there was something wrong happening. But with me though, I didn’t even try to figure out. A regular child might’ve pestered them more. If I did then I might've known earlier. That they weren't who they said they were.

A regular person might not have blamed me for my reluctance to find out that something was going on. Not me. I know what I know, and what I knew is that something was wrong. I was already aware that I had a high sense of self awareness for my age. And I knew something was wrong, but reluctance took hold whenever I thought about doing anything. Maybe for a seven year old, there was nothing wrong with that. Maybe.

The year after, it was nearly Christmas. I got a laptop and was introduced to the internet, my access unhindered by any parent who worries about the safety of their child online. I knew how to keep myself safe though, but what I didn’t know was how much the internet would change me.

I discovered what the public thought of my father, what they thought of him as the Mayor of Maceret. Duties and responsibilities of the mayor? Just thinking of it now makes me spiteful.

Even knowing that, I didn’t say anything to my father. I was too reluctant. Too naive, because maybe my father really was a good person. Maybe it was just lies.

Rumors began to spread as the months passed by. People with connections to the mafia and spite in their eyes – it started with them. Barry must’ve wronged them somehow.

It’s spread was growing quicker and quicker. Now it was even being talked about by the children at schools. Barry noticed it too, and devised a plan to be released Christmas.

His future as a mayor was in jeopardy, and his wife pushed him to do something about it. And so, he came “clean”.

Deals with the mafia? He was only trying to gain info about them through the use of “Mafia Proxies”! There was a suit against him. He crushed it with his knowledge of loopholes as well as abusing the corrupted government. It isn’t like he’s mayor for no reason – He has connections and power within his title.

Legally, he did no wrong. The public, however, saw different. Regularly, he would be sent hate mail. Lots of it. But neither Barry or Alicia was home.

I was though, and I read through it. All of it.

Finally, it was crystal clear to me; My father is no responsible and dutiful person; He’s a corrupt politician. My mother isn’t a caring, loving person; She wants money and luxuries through my father.

I became cold and depressed and apathetic and ashamed and everything at once. My parents didn’t take notice. The years continued on in a daze, and I continued reading the mail. Maybe someone more mature could simply look at it and dismiss it, but I was young and innocent. The worst and most vile words a person could muster was put on those letters, directed at the reader, namely Barry Leum. Instead though, his only son read it. It's hard for an eight year old to withstand the collective hate of a city. The hate mail was an eye opener for me, and I grew more disgusted with my parents. I couldn’t stop a part of me thinking that the city hated me too though, and that I was as disgusting as my heritage.

Did they really hate me? I wouldn’t have known. I never bothered to ask.

I became more recluse.

And then I grew older, by one year. I have witnessed shady men in clothing walk up to me suspiciously, but then suddenly back away, like they had the thought of doing something but went against it at the last second. Anti-Barry supporters have grown bigger and bigger. The state of the city was neglected, while the government was living a life of lavishness and luxury. Barry, however, needed to secure his position as the mayor in future elections. He made a campaign. Much money was put into it, with videos being produced, signs being placed, pamphlets being distributed, and so on.

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It blew up, big time. I was burying myself on the internet and immersing myself in order to escape from reality, but even then news of how badly the campaign blew up reached me. The entire thing was patronizing, disrespectful. Did the mayor really think he was just talking to a bunch of sheep, only in need of a little herding? Barry messed up massively doing what he did, the entire event only serving to push him and the Leum name further down.

It got national news coverage, and the federal government started to put an eye on the Maceret district. Barry’s face was plastered over signs, being paraded around the city in a demeaning way. He would come home exhausted some days.

And then eventually, he would come home and start drinking.

A wonderful time that was. I couldn’t even approach him, lest I incur a swing filled with drunken wrath. My mother got the worst of it though, getting beaten nearly every day during the worse parts of it.

I sat there on my laptop, doing nothing. Forgetting everything that was happening.

I have a happy family.

We live a happy life.

Everything will eventually turn out fine.

My father will not leave me and go to jail.

My mother will stop crying eventually.

Life will turn better for me eventually.

And other lies I told myself.

I was a pitiful person, trying his best to forget about the world around him because it was easier than doing something about it. Life isn’t so merciful however, and I am here now living this memory in my head.

Back to me in the past though:

A couple of months passed by in a daze, all while I force down the emotions within myself. Now instead of being cold, depressed, apathetic, and ashamed, I was mostly just cold and apathetic.

The feds came and arrested my father, my mother, for some unknown reason, was not charged at all. Barry was then promptly charged with obstruction of justice, bribery, perjury, conspiracy, and blah blah blah God only knows how much this man did when he was in office.

It makes me want to laugh. It really does. I was such an idiot to not see my father for what he truly was: Evil. A fraud. Liar.

What could I have done then? What could a recently turned ten year old could’ve done?

I guess there really wasn’t anything I could’ve done.

But it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it.

The Leum family was ruined by this point. My mother tried to sell the house – no buyers. She tried to hold out through loans but she was hit blindside when the tax bill came. She had no life skills whatsoever. She didn’t know how to pay taxes among other things because she never had to. Her sweetie had taken care of her for her and handled all of the things himself so that his dearest could simply enjoy herself. She fell into debt, and the bank foreclosed on her home.

She found herself jobless, and her skills as a photographer weren’t putting any money on the table. No one wanted to hire a Leum – the vilest, scummiest family in Maceret city. There has clearly been a whole lot of things that Barry had done that I wasn’t aware of.

Eventually though, she found a job working as a grocer as a supermarket. The apartment we rented was dingy and old. The conditions were horrible, especially for a person who’s used to grand mansions like our family was. There was barely enough space for us, and the walls were thin. Hate mail still came though. I burned them on cold nights, and I ended up setting off the fire alarm a couple of times.

Naturally, the residents were furious and so was Alicia. She did end up taking the blame for all of the occasions though and was subject to numerous threats to her well being and the security of our dingy little apartment.

Alicia would come home in tears, every day draining her stamina and mental health more and more. Often times she would drink and became just as abusive as her ex-husband. It was a pitiful sight, but then again, hasn’t that become our family shtick?

Seeing her pick up the knife on some occasions didn’t come as a surprise to me, but made me worried all the same. She would talk about the various ways she would kill either herself or me. She spoke of it so casually, an incongruous sight to her usual bouts of mania when she came home. That’s when I realized that she was beginning to really go crazy.

I started to stay awake for a little longer at night, scared of what she might do to me.

By now we have lived this life for a couple of years, and I could tell that it was eating at her.

What was the life of Alicia Leum, spouse of the hated Barry Leum, like at her job?

One day, Alicia walked up to me and looked at me directly. I saw in her eyes an eerie stillness. A calm and serenity I haven’t witness from her since before life started to roll downhill. She spoke very clearly and concisely, as if she has rehearsed the line numerous times in the future. I couldn’t tell what motivated her to say it. Insanity? Grief?

“In the nearby future, I will kill you, and then I will take the insurance money.”

What would a person, aged only 14 years old do when hearing that spoken to them? Run? Call the police?

Instead, I, Aaron Leum, son of the infamous Barry Leum, did... 

absolutely nothing.

I want to go back to me from three days ago and ask, what were you thinking? Maybe it’s because I was used to death threats from reading the mail. Maybe I was subconsciously looking for my death. Maybe I just thought she was acting crazy like usual.

There are an infinite amount of ways I could justify my actions – it seems that skill is present in every human to walk this earth. I could so easily blame it on anything at all, but in the end,

I did absolutely nothing.

And now, I finally arrive here, surrounded by the roaring fires of my inaction. The scorching heat filled with scorn and hate.

Towards me, whose apathy kills him;

Towards Alicia, who spiraled into insanity;

Towards Barry, who gained the wrath of everyone;

Towards Life, which remains unmerciful;

Towards the World, the cruelest to exist.

Goodbye to every one of you.

Lets never meet again.