Winter swept across Europe, carrying snow and icy winds wherever it went. The entire continent was blanketed in white, as if the world had shed all other colors, leaving only black and white behind.
"Haah, finally done with work for today."
A man yawned as he stepped out of his office. Winter had piled snow along the streets, and people were bundled in the thickest clothing they could find to keep warm.
"Christmas is almost here, and I'll be turning 30 soon."
Letting out a long sigh, the man walked on, his breath visible in the cold air, vanishing into the frosty evening. Despite the biting chill, the streets were still bustling with people as the festive season approached.
With Christmas lights adorning the city, the night sparkled even though darkness had fallen. Shops remained open, cafés were lively, and the city felt like it was experiencing a sleepless night.
"I wish I had a girlfriend."
The man sighed for the second time, watching couples pass by. Most of them were younger than him, their happiness shining bright in his eyes.
“I can't hope to get a girlfriend at my age.” /*The italic text indicates thoughts or inwardly/
He felt as though he was no longer young. Many of his coworkers were already married with children. Even though he had heard that the population was declining, he still often saw families with children walking together.
"I wish Christmas miracles were real."
After saying that, he laughed at himself for believing in such childish notions. Picking up his pace, he walked through the snow-covered streets toward home. As he reached a downhill stretch, he slowed his steps, careful not to slip.
Suddenly, someone bumped into him from the side. He slipped and fell backward, landing hard on his rear. The person who bumped him apologized, and he brushed it off without a fuss.
“They really need to clear the streets, or someone’s going to get hurt.”
He thought about how lucky he was to have landed on his rear rather than hitting his head or something more serious.
Letting out yet another sigh, he lost count of how many he’d heaved that day, reflecting on his dull life.
“Is this my unlucky day?” he thought as he continued walking down the hill.
At the bottom of the slope, there was a busy intersection where people and cars often crossed paths. Even now, it was slightly less crowded but still active.
“I just want to get home quickly and spend my time tending to my plants and assembling the model kit I bought yesterday.”
As he waited for the pedestrian light to change, he thought of all the pleasant things he could do at home. The road was still busy with cars moving cautiously, wary of the potentially slippery conditions.
“I need to buy dinner... Oh, and I forgot I’m out of toiletries.”
Just as he was deep in thought, a loud screeching sound snapped him out of his reverie. The noise of tires struggling against the icy road reached his ears. Turning his head, he spotted a red sports car speeding down the street, skidding as the driver desperately tried to brake.
“Is it coming this way?”
Instinctively, he stepped back from the curb to avoid danger. Others did the same, retreating from the roadside. Suddenly, he heard someone shout from behind—a man yelling, "Watch out!"—just as he felt himself being pushed forward.
The next thing he knew, he was tumbling into the street, directly in the path of the out-of-control sports car.
“This really is my unlucky day, huh? I hate snow.”
That was his final thought before everything went dark.
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I found myself in an empty, dark void. It was silent, damp, and surreal, as if I were floating weightlessly. Do I even have a body?
Is this the world after death?
“Haah... If I had survived that, I’d sue the city for not clearing the roads.”
Even as the thought crossed his mind, he doubted there was much he could do now that he was in this state.
“What kind of lunatic drives a sports car in the snow without proper tires?”
With a long sigh, he resigned himself to whatever lay ahead. Adults, after all, must face every situation calmly.
“Well, it’s over now. But if this really is the afterlife, it’s so empty and dull.”
He tried to look around, but all he saw was endless darkness, stretching infinitely in every direction.
Stolen novel; please report.
“Do I even have a body anymore, or am I just a spirit now? Am I going to become a ghost and haunt those two people? That might be fun.”
While his thoughts wandered, a sudden vibration broke the stillness of the void. He felt a shift, as though the space itself was trying to pull him somewhere—or push him out.
“Oi, oi, oi, what’s happening now?”
He struggled against the unseen force, though it was futile. Even as he tried to resist, he eventually gave in, letting whatever was happening take its course.
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New Year’s Eve, 1902.
The cold was biting that night as a massive snowstorm swept through. Everywhere was covered in thick snow, and any poorly insulated homes would be invaded by the icy winds and snow.
In a quiet, dark town, one room glowed warmly, filled with light and voices. The room, about 10 tatami mats in size, was well-furnished.
"Fumi-sama, push! Just a little more, and your baby will be born!" a voice urged in Japanese.
"Ughh..."
Groans of effort filled the room as a woman lay surrounded by three others.
"Huff, huff," she gasped, gripping a hanging cloth for support, biting another cloth to keep from biting her tongue. Beads of sweat dotted her forehead, quickly wiped away by one of the other women.
After a long struggle, she finally gave birth.
"Fumi-sama, your baby is here! You’ve given birth to a beautiful daughter, Fumi-sama," the midwife announced.
“Kanae why isn't she crying!?”
Suddenly, the woman's face, Fumi, turned pale, and the happiness she had just felt vanished, replaced by the fear of losing her newborn child.
Kanae, the midwife, also felt something was wrong and quickly turned the baby over, gently patting its back, suspecting that the baby might have inhaled amniotic fluid and was struggling to breathe.
Then another woman, Asae, who had been quietly watching and praying, approached Fumi and helped her sit up while continuing to recite prayers. Although everyone in the room was scared about what would happen to the baby, who had yet to make a sound, the baby itself had other thoughts.
"What is this? Am I reborn?"
The man who had been in a dark space thought he would be sucked in and disappear, but instead, he was greeted by light and the ceiling of a traditional house. The first thing he saw was an old woman holding him, then a woman with black hair and blue eyes, and beside her, another elderly woman. After that, he saw the blue-eyed woman looking sad, and in the present moment, an elderly woman was patting his back.
"What just happened? Was that Chinese? Japanese? I don’t know, but it sounded like an Asian language. And looking at the floor and roof, I think I’m in Asia."
He reflected on what had happened, confirming that perhaps he had really been reborn and, for the first time, felt lucky. At least in his second life, he was born as a human again.
As the man thought and gathered his thoughts, the woman holding him patted his back harder.
"Oi! Treat me gently, I’m a baby! What is she even trying to do?"
Not understanding what the people around him were saying, he had no idea how the three adults in the room were feeling.
"Are they trying to make me cry, huh?"
After thinking about it, he realized that normally, babies are expected to cry when they are born. He sighed inwardly and tried to fake a cry as naturally as possible, feeling a little embarrassed since he still had some dignity as someone who had once been an adult.
"Ooek oek."
He tried to cry softly and as naturally as he could.
"Ah, finally! Fumi-sama, your baby is crying, but it’s very quiet."
Kanae said, worried that something might still be preventing the baby from making a sound. However, she noticed that the baby didn’t seem to have any breathing problems, but was just unusually quiet.
Afterward, Fuji brought some warm water and handed it to Kanae, who immediately began bathing the baby before handing the child to Fumi.
"Thank you, Kanae."
Fumi said to Kanae, her face covered in sweat and tears. She held the baby, who immediately went silent and stared at her. Fumi played with the baby’s cheek, but the baby simply stared back at her.
"Oh, she has blue eyes just like you, Fumi-sama," said Asae, elderly woman who had helped Fumi sit earlier.
"She also has the same eyelashes and nose as Yamamoto-dono," Fumi said, thinking of her husband, who couldn't be present due to his work at the ministry.
"I don’t know what they’re saying at all! I know this woman is my mother, she’s beautiful. But where is my father?"
The man realized that he didn’t see any man in the room. After that, whether because he had just returned from work or because he had just been born, he felt very sleepy and yawned.
"Oh, it seems she’s sleepy. But before that, you have to drink milk."
Fumi said as she opened her kosode and directed her breast toward the baby’s mouth, but the baby tightly shut its mouth. Fumi thought maybe the baby didn’t realize she was trying to feed him.
"Come on, open your mouth. I’m going to feed you, you know," she said to the baby.
"Hell nah, do I really have to drink milk directly from the breast? I know it’s normal for babies, but I’m not a normal baby, and I’m just not interested in this kind of play. I really don’t want to!"
He thought to himself, though he didn’t understand what his mother was saying, he understood her intention.
"Haaah, fine, I’ll drink. Not because I like it."
Resigned, he opened his mouth and began suckling the milk from his mother’s breast, feeling like there was no other choice.
"Oh, she’s drinking now," Fumi said, watching how the baby drank the milk, gently stroking his head.
"Well then, Fumi-sama, I’ll take my leave since my duty here is done." Kanae, who had been tidying up the room, said.
"Are you sure, Kanae-dono? Isn’t the snowstorm still raging? You can use a spare room to rest until the storm clears, if you want," Fumi suggested, remembering how the wind could still be heard clearly.
Hearing Fumi’s suggestion and noticing the storm hadn’t subsided, Kanae accepted the offer and stayed for the night. She also gave advice about post-birth care during her stay. Another maid didn’t forget to change the futon and prepare a new one for the baby, while also preparing food and drink for Fumi.
"What on earth is happening to me?"
He thought, expecting that after death, he would go to the afterlife, but instead, he was reborn into a place he didn’t recognize. He felt exhausted from everything that had happened from the beginning until now, and he decided to close his eyes while nursing.