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Why it sucks to meet your idols
So there I was walking down the quiet street, heading home after going shopping. Jamming out to my main man Meat Loaf. (Only mouthing the words mind you, don't want to look like a complete fool after all.)
I was coming up to the traffic lights where there was already a woman waiting. She seemed pretty nice, a bit shorter than myself brown curly hair and brown eyes. While wearing a nice yellow sleeveless dress that stops just above the knee.
At first she didn't seem to notice me, but after a while I attracted her attention. Could have been because I unwittingly started singing out loud, or I was bobbing my head around to enthusiastically with my sing. And judging from her bemused face it was likely the latter option.
When our eyes met I started to sing the song as well. "You took the words right outta my mouth, Oh~ it must have been while you were kissing me." This made her jump back in surprise amusingly.
After that I returned to mouthing the song, while being stared at again and finally started crossing the road; the lady quickly scurried across. I was about halfway across the road when my shopping bag handle tore off on one side, dropping some of my food on the road. Luckily the road was empty so I could stop and pick up my food.
Once I had all of my food bundled up like a baby I carried on my way. As I neared the pavement, the road to my side began to tremble *rumble* a bit and crack. As I was about to run, a motorcycle with a horse head attached to the front, ridden by a long-haired man, leaning back as far as he can, burst out of the ground while yelling "COPY RIGHT BITCH!" And flew right into my head, sending me flying through the air until everything faded into black. As I lost consciousness, I'm sure I saw some bats following the man out the whole.
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"Oh my God, Meat Loaf you bastard!" I screamed as I awoke "still that was kind of awesome. Now I just need to figure out why I'm lying by some sort of light in a void and everything will be hunky dory."
As I scanned my surroundings, I appeared to be in a really big car, similar to the Chevrolet firebird my father owned when i was a kid and I seemed to be on the dash board. "Now this is just getting weird."
I get up and start walking to the edge and as I'm about to look over, something pushes me from behind. "Aahhhh!!!" *splash* I resurface and seem to be in a warm cup of tea. "What the hell is going on, who's there? Show yourself!"
As I said that something dropped down splashing right next to me. I look with apprehension waiting for it to surface. "Pwhahh! That was refreshing don't you agree."
What floats besides me is a bare chested, young pale man no more than 25 years old, with black scraggly hair, red eyes and a chiseled jaw line.
"What the hell is going and who the hell are you?!"
"Hang on give me sec would ya." The man pulled out something, from undertea that looked like a ball of rolled up plastic, the size of a cricket ball. Then he threw it in front of himself and it inflated into a blow up pool chair. He then proceeded to unceremoniously pull himself up and onto it before wiggling around to get comfy.
"All right you may continue."
"Come again?"
"You may continue on with your questions." He said with cheerful grin.
"Oh that, I'm good with my previous two questions. Coul.. Could I get one those floatys as well?"
"Oh right, sure of course." And he pulled out another and waited for me to get settled.
"Well as for your first question I am Jonathan. As for your second question you're dead, by some mysterious beings doings."
"First off that's in the wrong order, secondly why would a mysterious being do this to me and thirdly if I'm dead why am I floating in a giant, warm cup of tea, with a guy named Jonathan, each with our own inflatable chairs?"
"Because you didn't seem like you would care to much about it"
"What! Wouldn't mind! Of course I would fucking mind! Who in their right mind, wouldn't mind being killed by some weird tea floating guy!"
"Hey! I didn't kill you, Meat Loaf did. After I went through all the trouble of cloning Meat Loaf, having a bike custom made and wait for an opportunity where you're walking home on empty street, whilst listening to Meat Loaf; to spring my surprise on you. Then creating a small pocket dimension of a giant car's interior, the least you can do is acknowledge all my effort, you ungrateful swine!"
"Fine! I'll admit this whole situation is the most batshit insane, totally awesome thing, that has ever happened to me. Even with the fact that I'm dead! But why the hell did you have to kill me~?"
"Like I said, because you didn't seem like you would care." He said while scooping then drinking some tea from around "Oh here have a cup."
"thanks"
"Anyway like I was saying, you were coasting through life working a low income job, just to have enough money for daily necessities and a few luxuries. All so you can sit back and enjoy listening to music and read your novels and manga. You didn't have any ambition and I would assume no regrets. That's why I had Meat Loaf kill you."
"Well I suppose that's true, but I was enjoying my lackadaisical life~. It's not like there was much else to do any way." I say in a whiny manner sipping my tea. "So what are your plans for me then?"
"Well I, like you, am somewhat bored and am in search of~ entertainment. As such I've grabbed a couple dozen handfuls of people throughout the known existence, that just so happen to be entertaining and decided to give them an opportunity at a new life with a few perks."
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
"Oh that does sound pretty enticing, tell me" *slurp* "what are these perks?"
"Well I'm willing to grant upon you a number of perks of your choosing." *Slurp*
"Ho and what's the catch?" *SLurp*
"Well the world's I'm going to throw you into are somewhat tumultuous. Normally when something isn't to my liking I wipe it out and forget about it. Unfortunately my power to do so isn't like surgery, where you go in rummage around and yank out the problem. It's more like burning down your house and buying a new one because you don't like the wallpaper. You get what I mean?" *SLURP!*
"I guess I do, basically there are some problematic children ruining everyone else's fun and you want me to send them home." *SLU, slap, splash* "oh~ my tea"
"Yes that's it. So~ what do you want me to pull out of my magic hat for you?"
"Hmmmmmmm~ I think I will go with~ reincarnating with my memories intact the good and the bad, with the choice of doing so on any planet I have lived on or on a random planet. My own pocket dimension the size of Earth's solar system where I can create things at will and top it all off with a metric tonne of talent for sound magic. With some instructions fed into my brain, so I know how to practice said perks."
"Ooh that's quite a specific bunch of tricks you're asking for, going for the long haul huh? But no problem, your wish is my command! Have fun."
"Woah!" I was suddenly sucked down into the depths of the tea until no light could get through and left floating there in the liquid warmth, for who knows how long.
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I was roughly awoken from my deep sleep, in the deep gooey abyss, that has been my home for what could only be described as an eternity; by a pushing force and rather than fight against it I tried my best to comply with this force and I was rewarded with a glimpse of light, that got bigger and bigger. Then it got all tight and started to hurt a bit, but I endured and was once again rewarded with freedom and a warm embrace from what felt like giant hands, before being wrapped in what I assume is a cloth or something.
To celebrate my release I let out a loud wail. When I did the person holding me seemed to stumble and I heard what sounded like cries from adults, so I shut up worried that I was interrupting something. I was then handed off to someone else and brought in close. It felt warm and comfy and so I went about doing my baby thang.
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"Hm I wonder where Sarah is? Her breakfast will get cold if she doesn't hurry. Not to mention the fact that she is due in a couple days. Can't have her wandering off in her condition."
"Peter!"
"What was that? Could have sworn I heard something. Well can't dilly dally things to do."
"Peter!"
"Oh God Sarah!" Peter runs out of the kitchen to bed room, knocking over his chair and fumbling into the wall on the way.
"Sarah honey I'm here, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. My bloody husband ran out of the bedroom and fainted after bringing the village doctor to me whilst I'm in labour. THAT'S WHATS BLOODY WRONG WITH ME PETER! NOW GET OVER HERE AND DO YOUR DAMN HUSBANDLY DUTY!!"
Peter immediately scurried over and took hold of his wife's hand and and immediately regretted it when she started crushing it.
After an intense hour of screaming their child was finnaly born.
"It's a girl congratulations. Though she isn't making any sound she's wriggling around so don't worry." The old lady doctor said warmly.
"WAHH!" The baby suddenly let out a deafening cry, which shattered the bedrooms window, making the parents cover their ears and causing the old lady to stumble backwards, while simultaneously causing everyone in the room groan in pain.
The baby was handed off to Sarah safely, when the old lady lowered herself to the ground to sit.
"Ah my ears they hurt so much, they won't stop ringing. What was that?" Peter said wiggling his fingers in his ears.
"I don't know dear, but our baby girl is strong and healthy that's all that matters."
"Sorry honey you're going to have to speak up I can't quite hear you."
"Oh for goodness sake." Sarah grabbed her husbands arm and turned him to their baby, causing him to forget everything and smile warmly.
"Now Peter, have you thought up a suitable name for our little jewel?" Sarah said eyeing Peter strongly.
"I was thinking of calling her Charlotte. Is that alright?"
"Yes, that is a wonderful name dear, you did well."
The two smiled warmly at Charlotte as she suckled away at Sarah's bosom. Creating a portrait like moment; of a tall, broad shouldered man with green skin, brown hair and eyes and two small tusks sticking out of his lower jaw. Standing over a warn out woman with ashen skin, long black hair and ruby lips and eyes. Staring down at a bundled up baby stuck to her chest, with a gentle smile. All the while an old lady quietly leaves the room, not bothering to check the pairs ears.
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So I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, would appreciate thoughts and comments. First time doing this, so it will be nice to know what you and to find if there is that kone person willing shoot my aspirations. Anyway ta ta.