"So, uh. Nice weather we're having huh?" The General was the first to talk again.

"Oh. Yes." The sun was not very good at talking.

"I dunno what to say!"

"Indeed, sir. It's excellent weather outside today. How has your day been?"

See? Styx knowed what to do.

"Good. And, I heard the spirit is fairly strong? Do you know its rank...new guy?" The General looked to the sun again, in what it was thinking was a bad try to keep talking. Obviously, it was very strong.

"...Hey! What rank are you!"

What was a rank?

"It's uh, probably C. Since it evolved four times...?"

"That sounds...wrong. It doesn't feel like a rank C. It would be better if it's not actually. The weaker it is, the less damage it can cause when it gets mad. Which it will. This isn't my first time handling a spirit. Especially one as...bright as this one." The General moved a hand onto its head front, and moved the head down. "I do hope it's not C...that was...ugh."

"Is C really that bad, sir? It's not too high?" Styx here was talking the right questions. What was a rank anyway.

The General looked at it first before talking, "Well. Rank is quite vague. And its significance varies. Ultimately, the main problem is that not many are equipped to handle a spirit. Rank C or not, a spirit is a pain to deal with. You have to use magic or something enchanted to even see them, and then same thing for hitting them. And unlike a typical slime, they have no core to hit."

"Isn't that what mages are for though? And I can't see a demon not being able to use at least basic magic at some point." Well, sun, it didn't see him using magic?

"I can! I'll show you later. Oh! And I can teach you! In turn, teach me how to do that weird tentacles thing! I could use those so well in dark places! Or if I could apply it to dark magic..."

"Hah! A spirit is more magical than a demon. More magical than most things and you'd do well to remember that! Magics that are too weak will just be absorbed without doing anything. Well, if it's smart enough. That, and even if you're a stronger mage, if it steals your mana before you can cast, or just eats the damn magic circle, you can't do anything. Instead, the higher ranking a spirit, typically the older and smarter. You see the problem? Didn't you learn in school what catastrophes spirits have historically caused?"

"With all due respect sir," Styx moved a hand to his head, "we got suspended. Have been since two cycles ago."

The sun coughed, and also talked, "It was sir, very unfair, as we were not officially proven guilty."

"Yeah? Well, new guy, I'd appreciate some respect where respect is due? Those sirs don't feel nearly as natural as Manners over there." The General moved his head up and down once in Styx's way, and then looked back to it.

"Hey. How much of this is it following anyway? I'm not gonna have to listen to some random noises and sounds or banshee screams when, that-which-must-not-be-named gets back here am I?"

"Oh no...sir. It's...somewhat coherent. With horrible grammer. But, so is a kid right? Hahahaha-"

"I don't do kids, kid. Ugh, this one better pay off...unlike that one." The General moved his head side to side, and then looked back to Styx.

"As I was saying, in multiple worlds, pretty much all really, spirits have always been...problems. Oh sure, there's vampires and the oh so evil demons, or fae, or other humans. Monsters. Really, lots of things. Spirits, however, are almost universal, and grow very easily. In number and power. We can evolve, unlike some other races, but spirits are just mana. They have no structure they have to adhere to, and can grow much easier. No constraints on size, or shape, or whatever. They may develop subconscious restrictions, or goals. Like wanting to look like something, but that's about it. We, and most other races can't do that. In 120-"

"Sir. Here's the projector." The weird one was back! More fun! It maked the General get the weird looking thing. It was kind of like a head. But more...in two ways?

"Right, here you go." The General maked the "projector" move in two ways and crack, it became two. He getted one to the sun, and stilled the other with him. "Now, just...tell it to go inside the catcher."

"You heard him. Go inside the...catcher. The one I'm holding in my hand. See?"

What? Why? Sounded weird. It had wanted to talk, but going inside that felt kind of weird. 

"It doesn't want to, sir." The sun telled them.

"Ok. Look, it's nothing bad. We just want to talk to you. We can wait. Not as long as you I suppose, but...we can. You can go in and out as you wish. It won't stop you. You could try with a small bit of yourself?" The General holded the "catcher" from the sun and moved it nearer to him moved it around. 

It didn't like going in, but, moving an arm in and out to see could be ok. Right, here, and then back. And it was what happened. The arm didn't stop. But it was too big to go in the catcher. 

"It says it's too small to fit." Yes! Good sun, do the talking!

"Eh, uh, it doesn't really matter too much. I can compress it forcefully - but I doubt that would be a pleasent experience. Well, good thing we have you, right? Hahahaha. So, uh...may I request your assistance?"

"Fine. Sir. Let me do it," the weird one holded the catcher from the General and came to it, moving a hand to it. "This will feel...nasty or weird. Please don't freak out. We're going to try with a weak link first." 

As soon as the weird one said that, it felt a weird feeling. It wasn't like the ok feeling from the sun, but...it wasn't bad. It only now thought of if it maybe could have been like that bad feeling from that time in the castle. It had wanted to think it wouldn't happen again, but if that kind of feeling was so easy now, maybe the bad kind was also easy? It said start starting weak so was this weak? If this was weak, was the bad one when it was strong? Was it going to have to-

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

"This will be fine. It's rather bad at hiding its thoughts. To the point where it's prattling. I'm connecting it now. The voice will sound creepy by the way. It seems to be emulating what it has heard before."

"Wait, what voice? I never heard it's voice before?" The sun hadn't? Really?

"The sun hadn't really? Oh! That was its "voice" in the projector now! It could hear its thinking! SO WEIRD! But this was fun! It could hear itself talking, but now it could hear itself also talking! There were like more than one of it now! And its voice sounded good! Like it always thought it would! It was very good! What it said was what it was-"

"OK. Calm down there. I want to ask you some questions."

"Oh! The General was talking!"

"Yes. I am. Ok. First question. Do you have a name?"

"What? A name? Why would it need a name? It was spirit. Spirit was spirit. Names were names and names were not always needed, because General was General, but also you or he, so why was names names? Names were weird because-"

"Ok. Second question. What is your intelligence."

"'Status! Ok. Intelligence. Intelligence. Intelligence was...more than sixteen! It didn't know how to say that thing there, but-"

"Right. Thought not. Can you read your titles?"

"Titles! Titles! Developed Spirit!"

"Ok. Not bad. That means it should have at least enough intelligence to memorize all the things it has to for communication easier. And enough mana to spend a decent length of time training. Ok, next-"

"Helmeted Thing (Literally)!"

"Uh. Well, it does have a helmet but I don't see what-"

"Stylishly Insane! The General didn't make much sense!"

"...what?"

"Whatever Goes?"

"Oh no. Not-"

"The General hit its hand with its head and then looked back to it. It said the things, no, the titles again. Develop-"

"No. Just. Keep going ok? Don't repeat. I-"

"Highly Vindictive!" 

"What? That's not comfor-"

"Castle Crusher!"

"Well, I suppose that's expect-"

"The General stopped talking again and then it said more, but then the sun talked!"

"Could you wait for him to finish? And talk slower? And quieter? Please?"

"The sun maked sense! Waiting! Waiting! Waiting! Wait-"

"OK! SO! You're insane. I see that now. Whimsical. Horrible combo. And vindictive! Even worse! But castle crusher is normal. Ok, go on."

"Ok. Now it was more talking going! Sadis-"

cough cough cough

"The all coughing and making the sound weird because they were and looked at it! Even the weird one that wasn't talking before! And now they were coughing again! And it was waiting! It looked at the General so he could talk and then it could talk again! Looking!"

"Yes. Uh. So. I'm just going to pretent that last bit didn't happen. You don't have that title ok? Yes? Done? Good? Let's continue. Also, it's Ecromina, not...er, that name. Clear?"

"Yes! The weird o-Ecromina was looking weird at it and General thing! It didn't forget the title! And it was talking! Also being like this was too much work. No more happy voice. Ok. Skeleton Deathmatch Director!"

"...I'm sorry, what? Could you run that by me again? I don't think I heard that properly."

"Skeleton Deathmatch Director!"

"Right. That's what I thought. Care to explain?"

"Yes! It would talk abo-"explain" the title. It didn't know. That was what it knowed."

"Uh. DId you do something with skeletons? Talk about that?"

"OH! ECROMINA TALKED! WEIRD! IT WASN'T TALKING FOR SO LONG IT BECAME NOT-KNOW IT WAS THERE! Well. It didn't have these "skeletons," but if it was things it did in the castle. Well, it didn't have the title before the castle. It had it later when it was done. Near the end, it breaked the castle and played with bones! It used a ground thing to get them, and the bones came out! They used mana, and were funny. They fell off of a weird going up thing and died! And it had fun making them fight each other. They were easy-not to use for fighting, because they moved differently all of them, but they were fun to make die. And died. A lot. It maked many skeletons come and kill each other. Good times. Fun times."

"I can see where sadist came from...alright. But director? So, you were using them with detailed instructions? Impressive. Next."

"What was an "impressive?" Also, it was a skeleton puppeteer. The General went over from where it was and became down on a weird thing and then holded his head with his hands and now sun and Styx and Ecromina were laughing and looking at it and the General. And it still didn't know what was so funny. It was not knowing. Sun! Tell! Tell! Tell!"

"Ah, uh, so, we're laughing because you made the General tired."

"The sun telled it, why. Now it was not knowing. General, was it ok? Was he too tired? He wasn't going to become dead right? It still had titles to talk about."

"No. No. Ok. So. A puppeteer? I don't even want to know how you managed to figure out how to make skeletons fight deathmatches while moving each of them seperately and detailed enough to be a puppeteer and then still making them different enough for it to be a deathmatch. Your intelligence should be pretty high. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to handle that information, but...alright. Any other weird titles you got?"

"Yes! It was of course intelligence high, because it was it, and it was intelligence. That was obvious. Like rocks were black. It was always. And-"

"Actually. Rocks aren't always black."

"WHAT!? SUN! YOU TELL THE NOT TRUE THINGS! THAT WAS...that was...maybe? But no right? If rocks weren't black, then up could be down or side, and side could be up or down or other sides, and down could be up or side and black and not-black and sky or world or word or name or it - it's intelligence! It could be not true! It just said that rocks were always black like its intelligence so if rocks weren't black then it wasn't intelligence! If it wasn't intelligence, then everything it knowed could be not true! What if it wasn't even a spirit and it was a demon and they were spirits or this was all actually one really long and many things in it thinking thought!? What if- ew! What was that! Weird feeling! No! Stop! Go away!"

"Calm down. And focus. It's not that big a deal, right? Brea - uh, think slowly."

"Yes, Ecromina was not not true here, but this was important! Its intelligence and being able to learn was all that it could use! And now it knowed from sun from before that intelligence was like how much it knowed, so if its intelligence was not true, then-"

"That's fine. Nobody knows everything. And I'm sorry if that's disappointing, but that's how it is. You have seen other colors, right? Rocks can be other colors like demons too. How about, you calm down, and I will teach you colors after? Ok? And you, shut up for the rest of this. I don't know how you two deal with it on your own - wait what do you usually do?"

"Well, sometimes, it did those things where it was thinking on its own, and I just ignore it usually. Y'know leave it...to...do...it's own thing...?"

"The sun was talking less faster as Ecromina looked at him and was now not talking but Ecromina was still looking at him, and Styx was also and the General. Also it was ok now. Colors sounded like fun. Next thing!"

Spoiler: Status

Unnamed Pseudo-void Spirit Level: 10/10 Species: Pseudo-void Shuddering Helmeted Shadow Soul Bewitcher (D) Affinities: Darkness, Death, Pseudo-void, Pseudo-Space Age: 664 years

Titles:  

Size: 134.5 unlems (10 unlems compressed) Status Points: 46 Health Points (HP): NA Mana Points (MP): 421/421 Intelligence 71 Wisdom 16