We met the pirates outside of the gate to the castle grounds. From the mischievous glint in Elizabeth’s eye, we decided not to ask how they’d come out.

“Also, where’s Colten?” William asked when we all turned out of the castle grounds.

The pirates were silent before Tanner spoke up, “He left with Sam, a while ago.”

“Left?” I asked, “Where did they go?”

“Home.” Serah said, “He wanted another go at royalty.”

We had heard of the return of Sam. Sam’s father, the king, had announced it, spreading the news throughout the world that his eldest daughter had returned.

“How’s Sam doing with it?” I asked.

“Good, I suppose.” Serah shrugged.

“You suppose?”

“Well, I haven’t heard from either of them since they left. It would be dangerous if they attempted to remain in contact.”

“Oh.” Everybody went silent as we began our long trek towards the woods.

“Does anybody know where we’re going?” Amber asked.

“Yes.” Serah replied shortly, “Elizabeth does.”

“How?” Amber prompted.

“She’s been there before.” Henry explained.

“Why?”

“Is this how our entire trip is going to go? Because if so, I would like to throw her off the nearest cliff.” Elizabeth turned to Serah, who shook her head with a tired sigh.

“Permission to destroy Amber Tucker the next time she asks a question?” Tanner asked Serah hopefully.

“No.” Serah replied, “There will be no destroying of royals.”

Tanner looked genuinely disappointed, but Elizabeth pat his arm affectionately, “Don’t worry, when we get to the bandit camp, you can destroy as many bandits as you want and just pretend they’re royals. That’s how I deal with my frustration.”

“What?” Amber demanded.

“That was another question!” Tanner whirled on her.

“I said no, Tanner!” Serah said, raising her voice slightly.

Tanner sighed again, “I haven’t killed a single person in two weeks.”

“What do you want, a medal?” Amber demanded, “I haven’t killed a single person my entire life!”

“Softie.” Elizabeth sniffed.

“It’s not cool to have killed people, you know that, right?” Rachel asked.

“Speak for yourself, mortal!” Henry exclaimed, “I’m pretty sure I have about thirty assigned murders.”

“Assigned murders?” Kate asked.

“Ah yes, my young apprentice, I forget that you are new to the adventurous life of us tragically good looking and charming pirates. Well, an assigned murder is when your captain, for example, Serah, wants someone dead but can’t find the time in his or her’s schedule to kill that person. And so, you are assigned a person and you must kill that person. Then you bring back a treasure from this person’s body, let’s say a weapon or jewelry, because, what is a pirate murder without some pirate flair?”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“So…like a hitman?” Kate pressed.

“No!” Henry looked offended, “I am not a hitman. A hitman is paid to kill. We do it out of our own free will. The deaths mean more that way.”

“Huh.” Amber said, “So, you’ve wanted a lot of people dead, Serah?”

Serah nodded gravely, “It’s a miracle that you haven’t joined their numbers yet, princess.”

“I’m not a princess!” Amber protested, “I’m a duchess!”

“Right, sorry. Rich snob is a better way of putting it.”

“Hey!”

“Doesn’t matter.” Henry said, “The point is, we’ve killed a lot in our day. Even Elizabeth has killed her fair share. She doesn’t seduce all those rugged men for fun.”

“Um. Well?” Elizabeth started.

Tanner wrinkled his nose, “Gross.”

“Listen, without me and my seduction powers, you wouldn’t have been where you are today, Tanner Forrester.”

“You’re right. You brought us all together.”

“See?” Elizabeth spread her hands in front of her, to prove her point.

“But.” Tanner continued, “If you hadn’t busted in the walls of that orphanage some five years ago, Lydia and I could both be off somewhere enjoying life as regular citizens and not wanted by the law and perhaps Lydia might not have been kidnapped by bandits either.”

“True.” Elizabeth said, “Or you could’ve been murdered at age fourteen by a drunkard. It could’ve gone either way.

“I would not. You didn’t know me when that happened!”

“That’s not true! We met when—“

“Shut it.” Serah interrupted, glaring daggers at both of them.

Both Elizabeth and Tanner seemed to remember that we were still there and listening in on their conversation.

Tanner cleared his throat and Elizabeth mumbled an apology.

“No, please.” Leo piped up, “Continue telling us about your lives. You didn’t do that much last time.”

“You guys are wanted by the law?” Philip asked.

Elizabeth let out a string of curses, some words not even I knew, as she jumped away from Philip, who had appeared at her shoulder, tired of bringing up the back of the group.

“Good grief Elizabeth!” Henry clamped his hands over his ears, “Where did you learn to talk like that?”

‘You know that saying, “Cuss like a sailor?”’ Tanner asked, “Elizabeth was in mind when that saying was created.”

“I forgot about you!” Elizabeth said, ignoring them and turning to Philip, “What’s your name again?”

“Philip.” Henry spoke for him, “He’s the quiet one.”

“Nah, really Henry?”

“Shut up. You asked.”

“I asked him, not you.”

“Does it really matter?” Tanner butt in.

“If you three don’t shut your trap holes in the next few seconds I’ll tie you together to a horse and drag you through the streets of Arabia.” Serah snapped.

“Why Arabia specifically?” Amber asked, when the pirates had gone silent.

Serah’s eyes gleamed as she turned to Amber, “In Arabia, there’s sand in the streets. When you drag them through the streets at the speed of a horse gallop, the sand gets into their eyes, creating an even more painful and annoying death.”

“Amazing.” Amber noted, “Did you put a lot of thought into this?”

“I put a lot of thought into everything I do.” Serah confirmed, “Nothing I do is a mistake.”

“Are you sure?” Amber asked, “Because I recall a certain sorceress coming out in the streets of the Forgotten Isle and turning you and a certain dirty mouthed pirate into wolves.”

Serah waved her off, “Those were dark times for me.”

“Ah. Of course.” Amber nodded.

“But to answer your question, quiet boy, yes we are wanted by the law.” Elizabeth continued, glancing back at Philip.

“For what?” Philip asked.

“Oh…we’re all wanted for different reasons.”

“For example,” Tanner said, “Elizabeth has been wanted since the age of fourteen when she killed her mom.”

“I didn’t!” Elizabeth started, “I mean, she wasn’t—I—It was an accident, okay?”

“Right. Sure it was.” Tanner muttered.

“Says the guy who killed his dad, on purpose!”

“He deserved it!”

“Guys…” Henry started.

“No! I’m not done.” Elizabeth snapped, “Tanner and his smart mouth are getting on my nerves and Lydia isn’t here to tell him to shut up!”

“Guys…” Henry started again, but no one was listening.

“I’m literally older than you!” Tanner retaliated, “I should be telling you to shut up!”

“Guys!” Henry snapped. We stopped.

“Notice anything strange?” Henry asked.

“What?” Tanner demanded.

“We seem to be missing our captain.” Henry snapped.

We looked around at the town streets that we had been walking along. All around us, people bustled with their daily activities, occasionally turning away to avoid the pirates. But Serah, who had been walking beside us and slightly in the back, was nowhere to be seen.