I want to go home, but there is no home.

I want to be loved, but there is no love.

I want to belong, but no one wants me.

I want to be needed, but people tell me I am unfit.

I want to stay out of sight, far away in a hole.

Alex felt terrible, and since there was nothing to distract him, he just wanted to end it all.

At the moment of his birth, a cruel twist of fate left him gasping for breath, deprived of vital oxygen. This tragic beginning marked him with lifelong challenges: incessant tremors that shook his body, debilitating vertigo that spun his world, and a myriad of other afflictions that branded him a “reject,” a label he would endure painfully over the years.

The tragedy deepened; as Alex took his first breaths, his mother lost hers, slipping away in the throes of childbirth. Heartbroken and shattered by the news of his birth, his father, overwhelmed by despair and grief, chose to end his own life, convinced that Alex was not worth living for. With no one left to care for him, he was sent to live with foster parents who were emotionally distant and indifferent, leaving him to navigate his early life in isolation.

As Alex entered kindergarten and later progressed to junior school, he found himself yearning deeply for connection and acceptance from his peers. The reality of his disabilities often left him feeling isolated and on the sidelines of social interactions. Sports, which seemed to bring so many kids together, felt like an impossible dream for him; he watched from the sidelines as others played, unsure of how to join in.

Academically, he was met with further challenges, especially when it came to writing. His handwriting was so difficult to decipher that even he struggled to make sense of it at times. This created a barrier between him and his teachers, who became increasingly frustrated, and his classmates, who often failed to understand his attempts to communicate.

In his quest for knowledge and a sense of belonging, Alex turned to the library, where he found solace among the endless rows of books. He spent hours engrossed in stories and facts, exploring worlds far removed from his own. This escape offered him enrichment, feeding his intellect and imagination, but it also deepened his sense of alienation.

In a society that already marginalized him due to his disabilities, Alex faced the additional pressure of the Mage government, which held a strong disdain for educated peasants. His thirst for learning, rather than elevating him, became a source of conflict—highlighting the chasm between his aspirations and the harsh realities of his world. This duality made his journey for acceptance even more complicated and painful as he navigated the challenges of identity, disability, and societal expectations.

On the day Alex turned 13, he expected nothing extraordinary to happen. As he trudged through the cold, crisp air toward the mandatory winter sports training, a familiar sense of dread settled over him. This was the time of year when he would typically face the inevitable: deselection from the team, as he had in the past. Out of nowhere, a loud, resonant voice broke through his thoughts, declaring, “I love you.” It wasn’t just the words; it was the warmth, peace, joy, and power that accompanied the voice. It echoed in his mind, and suddenly, Alex felt himself falling onto the snowy pavement, overwhelmed by the experience.

In a daze, he asked, “Who are you?”

To his astonishment, the voice replied that it was God. This divine entity expressed a deep desire for a relationship with him, a longing that seemed to transcend the boundaries of Alex’s understanding. Caught off guard, Alex hesitated. He considered himself a non-religious person, someone who had never given faith much thought. However, the voice persisted, assuring him of its love and offering a bounty of blessings and fulfillment for everything he had ever desired. Encouraged, Alex found himself engaging in a conversation with God, who then urged him to read a specific passage: Deuteronomy 14, verses 22-26.

With a newfound sense of determination, Alex set off for the one place he believed could provide the answers he desperately sought—the local library. The towering shelves filled with countless volumes seemed to promise knowledge just waiting to be discovered. Once inside, the familiar scent of old books enveloped him, and he felt a mix of excitement and anxiety as he approached the librarian's desk. He hoped to locate the scripture that had been entrusted to him, driven by an inexplicable need to understand its significance.

To his astonishment, the librarian informed him that the passages he was searching for came from a book known as the Bible. She explained that it was often considered off-limits to those not belonging to a specific social class, implying that such knowledge was reserved for a select few. Her tone became serious as she cautioned him about the potential repercussions of delving into the text. She warned that future employers—particularly those in law enforcement, the military, or civil service—might view his interest in such material as a liability, potentially jeopardizing his chances of securing a job in these fields.

Despite her warnings, Alex felt an unwavering resolve within him. He could not shake the feeling that he needed to read the Bible. Summoning his courage, he checked out the book, feeling a surge of purpose as he held it in his hands. An inner voice urged him to seek the truth, reinforcing his decision.

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

As he thumbed through the pages, he came across a primer focused on the New Testament, its teachings promising deeper insights into the messages he sought. However, rather than rushing into those lessons, he made it a priority to first read the specific verses that he believed God had directed him to.

Be sure to set aside a tenth of all that your fields produce each year. 23 Eat the tithe of your grain, new wine and olive oil, and the firstborn of your herds and flocks in the presence of the Lord your God at the place he will choose as a dwelling for his Name, so that you may learn to revere the Lord your God always. 24 But if that place is too distant and you have been blessed by the Lord your God and cannot carry your tithe (because the place where the Lord will choose to put his Name is so far away), 25 then exchange your tithe for silver, and take the silver with you and go to the place the Lord your God will choose. 26 Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the Lord your God and rejoice.

Each word resonated deeply within him, and with every line he read, he felt a flutter of anticipation. He was eager to uncover the profound message that had so unexpectedly disrupted his ordinary birthday and to understand why it mattered so much to him.

All he received was a modest stipend, a small amount of money that barely covered his basic needs. He chose to spend this money on books, as they offered him an escape and a source of knowledge. However, finding joy in simple pleasures, he preferred to use his stipend to indulge in food and drink while sitting on the pavement, where he felt an overwhelming sense of connection to God. It was in this humble setting that he believed he could hear God's voice guiding him through his thoughts.

In his reading, he discovered the importance of repentance and learned that Christ had sacrificed Himself for humanity, allowing individuals like him to start anew and have the opportunity to be with God for eternity. Inspired and hopeful, Alex decided to embrace this message, but he quickly realized that baptism was also a crucial step in this transformative process.

The materials he read indicated that baptism was typically performed in a place called a church. Recalling the last foster parents he had stayed with about a year ago, he decided to visit their church, hoping to find guidance. Upon arriving, he was greeted but soon informed that to be baptized, he needed to undergo a period of learning and testing. He found himself facing a series of questions that disheartened him. It became clear that, according to the church's teachings, committing to this spiritual path might mean sacrificing his ambitions and aspirations, including any chance of having a successful career. This realization left him feeling lost and bewildered.

Despite the confusion, Alex went through with the baptism, believing it would mark a new beginning. However, this decision only ushered in a new wave of difficulties. He was told that God no longer communicated with people in the way He once did and that all financial contributions he made were meant solely for the support of the church. Additionally, he was instructed that God expected him to demonstrate his devotion through prostration in prayer and periods of fasting.

As he endeavored to adhere to these guidelines, he was cautioned against reading the Bible without proper instruction, which made him feel even more isolated in his spiritual journey. The more he followed these rules, the more intense his feelings of loneliness became. In church, when he expressed his struggles, he was met with the comforting but cryptic reassurance that this was simply a cross he would have to bear. This advice left him grappling with the complexities of faith and the weight of his newfound responsibilities, amplifying his sense of solitude.

Every Sunday, he faithfully attended church, where he dedicated time to connect with fellow believers. Outside of church hours, he created moments to encounter the Divine, savoring the warmth of God’s presence and love. During his visits, he forged a bond with a fellow parishioner named Benjamin. Like Alex, Benjamin felt adrift in a world that often felt hostile and unwelcoming. He was captivated by Alex’s stories of divine communication, which provided solace amidst their struggles.

Benjamin had endured a terrifying experience with a vicious hound belonging to a local mage. The creature had attacked him, inflicting severe wounds on his left hand, which left him unable to use it properly. Despite his physical challenges, Benjamin remained hopeful and resilient. Together, he and Alex delved into the scriptures, searching for strength and healing in their faith. They would often pray for one another, invoking Jesus’ name to mend their ailments.

To everyone’s astonishment, Benjamin’s condition improved dramatically; he was completely healed, a miraculous turn that some in the community attributed to a mere fluke, labeling it as a quirk of nature when the local doctor examined him. In contrast, Alex continued to grapple with his own issues and did not experience the healing he longed for. Nevertheless, he found joy in Benjamin's recovery, celebrating his friend’s newfound freedom and health while nurturing a deep sense of gratitude for their friendship and shared faith.

During the warm and sunny days of summer, Alex stumbled upon an old canoe hidden along the riverbank. The canoe had once belonged to a man who tragically lost his life in a terrible car accident the year before. Intrigued by the find, Alex decided to take it out on the water. His friend Benjamin eagerly joined him, taking charge of the paddling and steering as they set off into the serene lake.

As the gentle waves rocked the canoe, Alex felt a sense of freedom and relaxation he hadn’t experienced in a long time. The soothing sounds of nature surrounded them, and the worries of the world seemed to fade away. This outing marked a significant moment for Alex; it was one of the few times he could truly unwind and enjoy himself.

In his life, Alex had often dedicated his time to providing healing to countless individuals, sharing his faith and beliefs about God with anyone who would listen. While many people were grateful for his help and sought his healing touch, a significant number cautioned him to tread carefully, warning him to avoid unnecessary conflict or trouble. Despite this advice, the joy of the canoe trip allowed Alex to momentarily forget the challenges he faced in his commitment to helping others.

During the harsh winter months, Benjamin was sent away to stay with his family at a remote mine, leaving Alex behind. Feeling a mix of loneliness and adventurous spirit, Alex decided to take out the old canoe and paddle across the vast, icy expanse of the lake. As he ventured further from shore, a sudden wave of vertigo washed over him, disorienting him completely. Before he could regain his balance, the canoe tipped, and he plunged into the frigid water.

The biting cold enveloped him, and as he struggled against the current, panic set in. In those terrifying moments underwater, his thoughts drifted to Benjamin. He felt a deep sense of regret for not having the chance to say farewell to his friend. Just as he began to lose hope, a bright light appeared in the distance, pulling him upward. He felt an inexplicable force guiding him towards it, and as he ascended, he realized he was passing through what he recognized as the first heaven—an ethereal realm that filled him with wonder.