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Can't Figure It Out

"Stay light on your feet!" Zerrious yelled as he smacked the wooden sword into my side, knocking the breath from my lungs and sending me sprawling on the ground.

"Why are we doing this?" I rasped, gasping to pull more air into my lungs. Tears blurred my vision but brought a hand up to not so subtly wipe them away before getting back up, my breathing still labored.

"A couple of reasons, like I just said. I need to stay sharp, and we're going to need more and more rare Names, which means it's going to get dangerous. I don't want to have to worry about protecting you when our backs are against a wall," Zerrious explained again, giving me a chance to recover from his last blow, a luxury he reminded me in no uncertain terms I wouldn't have should I actually need these skills.

I went in for the attack, making a jabbing motion at his right kidney. He knocked my blade aside with his own and pushed forward, although with a longsword being his preferred weapon of choice he was at a disadvantage as close as he was. He'd knocked my sword down to the left, leaving the arm holding my sword draped across my body where I could easily pull back and block if I needed to, but Zerrious' last words had stuck in my head, I had barely moved my feet at all, standing completely still like this was a fencing match with only a short line to work in, not a large dynamic battleground that we actually resided in at the moment.

I danced left, following my sword and pushing forward, closer to Zerrious where his longer blade would be harder to use effectively. He grinned slightly and fell back, trying to buy space to use his longer blade. I knew he was faster than me, so I too fell back, backpedaling directly into the thick forest and hiding among the trees.

That'll shock him, I thought to myself with a smile, trying to stay as still as possible to prevent myself from giving away my position. What I failed to remember is that Zerrious is a master at tracking in the woods, and he knew exactly where I was. There was barely a rustle of leaves as warning before I saw a wooden longsword swinging at full speed for my chest. I ducked down and brought my sword up on instinct, barely managing to redirect the blade over my head where it impacted the tree I hid behind with a resounding crack that echoed all throughout the forest. If the sword had been bladed there was a chance that it would have caught in the tree, but as it was it just bounced off, leaving me crouched in the dirt with a sword above my head.

He swung at my side as my head was well protected in this position, easily ready to stop an overhead blow. It was cramped, but I managed to smack his sword into the ground where it buried itself in the soft earth. I took the moment he needed to pull the blade from the ground to stand up and get back in my dueling stance.

"You're getting better," Zerrious remarked as he watched me squirm. I was waiting for him to advance, or make a surprise attack but he just watched me try and catch my breath with every muscle taught and prepared to fight.

I didn't respond, he new I got distracted talking and he'd beat the bantering habit out of me with a stick a long time ago. I knew Zerrious was better than me, faster, stronger, more technical. He knew swordplay at a level I couldn't even fathom and he had the physical prowess to back it up. Zerrious stood relaxed, but I knew how fast that could change. Suddenly, just as I had predicted, Zerrious snapped his blade at my side with the speed of a coiled viper, his one hand better able to hold the two handed weapon and still cause a devastating attack, even at the loss of control and power.

I threw my sword to the side, hoping to push the wooden sword into the ground again. It didn't work, not entirely anyways. Instead of hitting my vital center mass as he had intended my parry brought his sword down where it hit the side of my knee with a resounding crack I could feel all over my body, bringing unbidden tears to my eyes.

It was hard, but I pushed my brain through the pain to consider this situation. I had about a third of a second, but I had my blade on top of his, he was defenseless for this bare moment. Without stopping to consider what I was doing I went in for the kill, swinging my wooden blade up all the strength in my right arm and grabbing on to the body armor Zerrious had on with my left so he couldn't dance away from the strike.

There was a bare moment of surprise on Zerrious' face before my wooden blade made contact with the side of his neck with a meaty thud. I let Zerrious go as he dropped his sword and gagged violently as he turned away from me and leaned against a tree.

". . . Are you okay?" I asked after a moment. Zerrious held up a hand, palm forward and ring finger down. Commonly referred to as the "unapprenticed" it was sort of like the middle finger from back home. Although, I suppose it was much more mean spirited as it signified someone was unteachable, although it had changed into a simple insult that didn't truly bare much weight.

I nodded and picked up the wooden longsword from the dirt, which had considerably more heft than my rapier. I made it over to our bags and tents set up off just off to the side of the clearing we were practicing in. I favored my right leg heavily, but the soreness would subside quickly, I was sure. Zerrious wasn't shy about hurting me, but I trusted that he wouldn't actually injure me.

It hadn't been long since I helped Zerrious get his center in order, maybe a week at most, and we hadn't had time to really sit down and see what unique properties the shapes of our souls gave us when realized in the shape of our Mana. So far I had just been able to set my spells up with a page value, determined by how many pages it took to cast that spell. My most expensive cost five pages, but a near impenetrable shield was well worth the cost. All the reality soaking into my cane at any moment was plenty for my spells, in fact it pulled some of the stuff from around it on it's own, although feeding it what was filtered out of my Aether was far more efficient.

It wasn't long after I had everything put away from our little training session that Zerrious joined me near the tents where we had set up a ring of stones for a fire to reside within, along with a small pile of wood we'd gathered that sat near our tents. I looked up as he approached, catching the already bruising line on his neck even as he turned it away from me. "I really am sorry, I didn't mean to hit you so hard," I said, the regret and sorrow nearly dripping from my voice.

"Don't be, I got cocky and you showed me the error of my ways. Honestly, I should be thanking you. Helped remind me that people can be dangerous even if they aren't particularly skilled or Named," Zerrious said as he dropped to his rear next to me. I was a little bit insulted, but didn't voice it. He was right, of course. He almost always was in his frustrating jack of all trades way. I knew way too many people at work who were kind of the same way, they had their claws in just about anything anyone could possibly take interest in, so I got used to being out of my depth in just about everything. Didn't mean I liked being called unskilled, but I could accept it.

"Very well," I muttered as I got up and started stacking wood. I was a city boy, but I'd been camping enough times to know how to build a basic fire, it wasn't that complicated. Soon Zerrious had a fire burning bright. His Names made him much better than I was, but I could get the basic shape and make things a little bit easier for him. All he had to do was poke and move peices by inches to get optimum airflow, something I couldn't fathom knowing how to do.

"We should try to figure out our centers more, that'll burn for a long while and we could use any bit of knowledge we can get if you're to become a god," I said as I sat back down, leaning back against my tent for more comfort. I closed my eyes and took Zerrious' silence as agreement as I dove into my center, seeing the brightly glowing book turning endlessly, the blank pages nearly screaming for. . . something.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

I wasn't sure what to do with them, they just seemed so blank and plain, especially since the cover was so intricate it just felt wrong to leave all those pages without anything in them. I didn't want to just write nonsense on them, or even drawings or notes from whatever I could remember from back home, that was in my actual soul, which was far easier use as a notebook.

I also wasn't sure how many things a center like this would effect, would it just have passive effects? Active abilities? Was there a set number of abilities a realized center could have? Did it depend on the person? What kind of abilities would a book grant anyways? Faster reading speed?

I laughed internally at that, though I didn't dismiss the idea entirely. It may be functionally useless, but it could be something. I watched the Aether gather and form more and more pages before my eyes, thinking, considering. What could I possibly do to find out what abilities this would give me?

Eventually I just opened my eyes and gave up on finding more. What would happen would show themselves eventually, I was sure. I hoped Zerrious had had more luck than I did, but he always struggled with the more esoteric stuff, so I didn't expect much. I hadn't been in my center for long, probably not more than an hour, though the sky had started darken to the deep blue of night, pinpricks of stars already visible in the sky.

"I'm so glad they haven't invented pollution yet, the sky is so clear," I muttered as I gazed past the trees. Zerrious was still deep in his center, his brow furrowed like I was sure mine was just moments before. I threw some more wood on the fire and relaxed, gazing into the empty Aether and watching the flows of power move in ribbons and sheets and I couldn't make sense of it.

I hadn't been into the Aether since my wedding, I'd never really felt the need to. And honestly, I was scared. It was scary, the chance that I would simply cease to exist in a layer where physical reality couldn't exist. I could feel it instinctually, how irrevocably terrible it would be to exist in the Aether without physical reality superimposed on it.

But I kind of wondered what it would be like to be in the Aether after my eyes got changed by the stuff. I mean, I had grown closer to the substance since then, I had a book made of it sitting in that odd liminal space between physical and cognitive reality within my body for crying out loud! Zerrious was still sitting in his rigid lotus position and probably would be for a long while, he was never one to give up without trying everything he could think of.

I reached out with my hands, something that I wasn't sure was strictly necessary, but it helped me visualize as I pulled the fabric between the layers open and closed it around me as a sort of bubble that created a sort of pseudo physical reality around me. It didn't strain me near as much as it used to, and everything seemed both more and less stable than before. Everything changed as soon as I wasn't directly observing it just like it did before, but I was able to see how this physical reality was effecting the Aether and vice versa. I could see the energy fighting against this physical form.

I finally understood why things kept trying to change here. It wasn't something I noticed before, in fact I was always much more worried about keeping this bubble around me than actually seeing what was around me. Now that it was almost reflexive, like taking an extra deep breath, not difficult and almost automatic, but I still had to make the conscious choice.

My center was absolutely overflowing with power, drawing in more and more Aether, so much that I couldn't convert them to pages fast enough and they hung around the book like a violent cloud, trying to join the other pages but there was just too much. I was sure Zerrious would have a similar reaction, in fact we should retreat here to practice our magic from now on, and maybe even to rest. As long as I was awake this was the safest place in the world, I just wasn't sure if I could bring others with me. I couldn't remember the original prompt, or if it even specified.

I walked around for a long moment, pondering, just feeling the world around me, alive with energy until I bothered to look, or touch something, then it seemed so calm. I could still feel the Aether fighting, but it wasn't difficult to keep it under control, and you couldn't tell just by looking at the plants.

If it wanted to move so much, why not let it? In fact, why not guide it to become what I need it to be the moment I observe it? The thought hit me like a train and I grinned a stupid grin. This would probably be one of the most useless skills to cultivate but it sounded so fun, especially if I wanted to try and drag Zerrious in here.

I stared at the large leafed fern sitting in front of me, relaxing my hold on the space around me and trying to convince the energy to take the form of a tall willow instead. I continued to relax my hold on physical reality until my vision started to get blurry, but nothing changed in the plant. I pushed and pushed with my mind as hard as I could to just make a willow tree until eventually I gave up, tightening my grip on the world again.

"Of course it wouldn't work," I sighed defeatedly, turning and walking directly into a tree. Where before was an almost garden like area, plants and grass coming out of soft soil, but now that soft soil was marred by an extremely dense forest of trees. Specifically, tall willow trees.

"Well then," I said, rubbing my forehead with one hand and gazing in triumph at the dense forest around me. The trees were so close together I couldn't move through them, so I turned in the direction of the fern where it was still a sort of garden only to be met with more willows.

"Oh, I may have miscalculated." I suddenly wished that I had asked the Aether to become an empty field of sunflowers, but it was too late now, I had no idea how to control it. I turned again to see an endless field of sunflowers.

"So it's whatever I want as long as I'm not looking at it when it changes? This is amazing!" I exclaimed as I finally got it. I couldn't explain why I couldn't be looking at it or touching it for it to change, I had seen Mana and Aether take on numerous shapes and change fluidly before my eyes back in physical reality. It didn't really matter, it was definitely a skill worth practicing, even if for no other reason than it felt cool to command the shape of he very world around you.

"This is so cool," I said as I pulled myself back into physical reality, stepping in something warm and soft. Not just warm. . . Hot. Increasingly hot. Burning hot.

I looked down to see that I had stepped directly into a pile of burning embers on the edge of our campfire.

I let out a very manly yelp and hopped out of the fire, batting at my now flaming pant leg and boot in an attempt to quell the flames, although my panic only fanned the flames. Luckily my sudden yelling had brought Zerrious out of his deep meditation and he was able to put out the fire quickly.

"Sigurd? What did I miss?" Zerrious asked after he put out the fire, looking around for potential threats.

"I. . . Nothing, I accidently stepped in the fire," I admitted sheepishly.

Zerrious just shook his head, disappointed but not overly surprised. I was the guy that did ill advised things that just so happened to work. Sometimes. I like to call them learning experiences.

I let Zerrious look at my leg. It didn't feel like I was burned too badly, but I let him cast his spells to disinfect the area, painlessly I might add. I loved magic, that medicinal sting wasn't a necessary evil in this world. He wrapped my ankle in bandages and carefully put my boot back on to hold the bandage in place, tying it extra tight to prevent rubbing. My boots and pants were only a little singed, so it wasn't a problem that I kept wearing them.

"Thanks," I muttered. "Any luck in figuring anything out?" I was hopeful we had more success than I did, though his center was as hard to figure out as mine. His soul might be easier to understand, but it kept adapting, it kept changing so it was hard to tell what kind of abilities it could possibly have.

"No, I keep trying things but it's just not revealing anything new. I say we rest, I'm sure we're both sore and mentally tired after our journey so far, plus we aren't far from the next big city by my estimation," Zerrious said.

"How do you decide where we stop? You said we passed a bunch of towns and cities, why are we stopping here?" I asked. It didn't make any sense to me, but maybe he had his reasons, he was definitely the kind of kid to do his research.

"I just go until I feel like there might be some new Names available. I have all the Names most cities can offer anyways, from here we're going to have to find some uncommon or even illegal Names."

". . . Names can be illegal?" I asked quietly. I had to shove aside the fact that he was just moving by gut feeling, but if I could trust anyone's gut it was this genius of a kid.

"Oh yeah. Don't worry, you don't have any, in fact, even I don't have any. Illegal Names are things that are truly terrible, things I can't even describe. You know when you get an illegal Name, the system warns you about it," he said.

"And. . . What if I don't get system messages?" I asked. I didn't want any illegal Names, I still had to live in this world after Zerrious became a god. That was really the only case I would be in trouble, as I imagined I wouldn't survive anything that would kill Zerrious.

"I. . . I guess we find out when I get the Name," Zerrious said.

"That's not concerning at all," I muttered as Zerrious scoffed and walked away to sleep for the night.

I lay back, feeling deep inside for my connection with Nyah to help pull me into the land of dreams.