Wendy closed her eyes and leaned forward to cool her hot head against the cold metal of the elevator in the silent halls below Sora’s newly expanded suite. Cheeks puffing up, she let go of the tension trapped in her lungs. She groaned while hugging her turbulent belly, trying to build the courage to call the box.
She’d left Daisy and Howie’s new suite a few minutes ago and knew Sora was probably home, waiting for her. The items she’d bought on their shopping trip lay by her feet, and there were some frozen goods she needed to put away, but she couldn’t press the button to open the doors.
Mom… Please, just… tell me it was all these horrible people who made you leave. Why am I doubting her so much? Why am I afraid that my mom—my freaking mom—gave me up? Of course, she didn’t… We’re a team. Sure, we have our rough patches, but my mom’s still my mom.
“Mmrrgrrgrr!” She lightly bobbed back and forth, lightly hitting her head against the smooth steel. “I’m not afraid! I’m… afraid of the Foundation; I’m not afraid of my mom. We can fix it. We can fix everything! Just… call the elevator and get it over with. Just… call the elevator…”
Her fingers hovered over the button. Why am I shaking? she internally snarled. Don’t be a pussy! Just press it! Do it. Dammit!
“Dammit…” Wendy cried, flipping to her back and sliding down to her butt, not bothering with how her dress looked as it bunched in her lap. “Dammit… Am I not enough?”
“Mmgm-no-no-no… Just pull your shit together—Sora could hear you, idiot.” Failure burned in her chest, and an anvil weighed down on her heart. Drawing in her lips, she tried to control her breathing, feeling as if she had suddenly been dropped in the Arctic. “Why am I such a coward? Why do my arms and feet feel like lead?”
Sitting alone in the oppressive hallway, Wendy hugged her legs against her chest. What did I do wrong? Why can’t I believe my mom? Am I that bad of a daughter? Why can’t we just watch a movie and laugh like we used to? Did I throw all of it away by being friends with Sora again? Was it my fault?
She buried her face into her knees, throat thick and heart thumping against her ribs as tears stained her cheeks. Everything I do only causes pain for everyone… I couldn’t be there for Sora, I blew up at my mom, and I can’t even be nice to Kari when Sora’s trying to mend bridges… I’m the problem! It’s me! It all comes back to me… Is there anything good about me… is there even one good thing about me?
Hiccuping, Wendy choked as the doors behind her opened, making her quake and turn around, blurry vision finding the last person she wanted to see. Kari and Eyia’s faces came into view as the Foundation attendant callously stood off to the side; the wolf had her ears and tail out, further agitating her for some reason.
Eyia scooted around her with concern to kneel in front of her, the blonde’s big blue eyes scanning her for any injuries. “Sister, what pain do you feel? Is there an enemy that has caused more trouble?”
Kari dismissed the Foundation stooge and walked to lean against the wall, letting the elevator close as the stupidly tall girl watched her like it was some kind of entertaining show.
“N-No,” Wendy lied, trying to fight past her emotions and hiccups. “I’m fine—it’s just been… a little hectic,” she laughed, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I’ll be fine. How was your day? Ah-haha. I bet you beat Kari a ton in basketball, right?”
Eyia knelt in front of her and shook her head. “No, the wolf is very cunning and strong in the game of hoops. She is the annoying type to let an opponent have a victory for the enjoyment of it.”
Kari’s amber irises darted to the side, basketball held against her hip. “It was once. Get over it, birdbrain. It’s obvious she doesn’t want to talk about basketball and wants to be alone. We should just go.”
“That makes no sense,” Eyia huffed, shooting the wolf a dubious stare as if tricking her again. “My new sister asked me about the activities we did today, and I answered truthfully. If she did not wish to know, then why would she ask? Yes. It is my victory!”
Wendy forced a smile as Kari rolled her eyes. Eyia was cute and innocent, but whatever she actually felt, Wendy was not about to agree with Kari, of all people.
Rubbing her eyes and able to shove down her emotions with the other girls present, Wendy rubbed her tears away and got up. “Ahem. Thanks for worrying about me, Eyia. I’d like to hear more about your day later. Do you mind giving me some time alone? I just need to think a bit before going upstairs.”
Eyia’s brow furrowed, questioning gaze drifting to Kari, who gave the blonde an annoying look that said, ‘I told you so.’ The blonde jumped forward to give her a firm hug before pulling away with a supportive smile.
“Of course, Sister! I have had moments when I wished to discuss things with myself. A troubled heart is a hard wound to mend; I know how the feeling is of loneliness and the weight of the mantle of fire, which compresses the atmosphere. It will all be alright, Sister!”
Fingers knotted together at the front of her dress, the anvil laying against her chest gained a few hundred pounds at the girl’s words. “What?”
Internally, she was screaming. Leave me alone! I’m sorry! Just leave me alone! Sister? I barely know you, and you’re trying to act like you know what I’m feeling? Just let me figure shit out on my—
Eyia pulled back with a bright sparkle in her blue eyes. “The wolf and I will go upstairs to inform our sister of your return, and—”
“No!” Wendy blurted out, further confusing the Valkyrie. “No, umm, please—I’m sorry—just don’t tell Sora I’m back yet. I’ll be up in a bit. Just… pretend you didn’t see me. Please, Eyia.”
“Why would we pretend—Kari?”
Kari guided Eyia toward the closed elevator, pressing the button. “Take a hint. None of us know how we feel… You don’t know how she feels, or how I feel, so stop telling me things will work out. Damn. We aren’t all Eyia. Okay? Just let it go…”
Eyia’s eyebrows drew together at the confrontational words that Wendy kind of wanted to say herself. And, for the first time, she was grateful to Kari. Left in somewhat of a stupor, she watched the pair rise up to Sora’s suite, hearing their departing conversation.
“You wanted to watch that war movie about Norse something-or-other that dude recommended, right? I’ll put it on for you before I take a shower. Sora’s busy playing with Nilly anyway. Just stay out of other people’s business.”
“The war of Asgard against the evil dark elves?! Yes! Show me this battle of cinema that portrays my brother. Also, a family supports one another. Is that not something wolf packs do? You are the strangest Fenris Wolf I have ever met.”
“I’m the only Fenris Wolf you’ve met… well, kind of.”
“Yes, your brother does not count, as he has very little of your mother’s blood in him.”
“Can you listen for once and read between the lines instead of trying to guess like we’re playing a game and always getting it wrong?”
“Life is a test! You must win the test of life!”
Wendy felt oddly better as the doors closed, the box carrying the arguing wolf and Valkyrie to the higher floors. Their departure eased the tension a tad, and she shifted to lean against the wall, staring down at her shopping bags. It felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, and the chill only grew more harsh.
Abandoning them, she walked to the full wall window and a small sitting area beside the elevator, hugging herself and trying to smile while staring down at the darkening horizon. The harmonious ocean sent its waves crashing against the shore as boats traveled across the waters.
Imagining herself on the big cruise ship she saw in the distance, she shed only a single tear as she let the reality of where she was sink in. Her ship felt like it was falling below the waves. Lifting her hand to rub her dry throat, every crack in her heart felt like it was bleeding.
Mom… We were so steady. When did it start to feel like every day we were on the firing line of some war? I’ve been breaking since I can remember… but why couldn’t I see it? You were breaking. No, maybe I did see it… and that’s why I tried so hard to make your life easier.
The heat flared up her nose and hit her between the eyes, making her blink rapidly and sniff back her emotion. We’ve been down this same road forever… I tried. I tried so hard. The alcohol, the debt collectors, the lost jobs… filling out your resumes to get a new one—the trash and yelling. I spent hours looking for your birthday present… Why would I do that?
She bit her lower lip and turned to stare at the bags she’d left by the elevator, rubbing her nose and feeling dirty. Why wouldn’t I do that for my mom? Because… she abandoned me? I’ve been lying to myself… to everyone for so long. Everyone believed me when I said everything was cool… when I knew it wasn’t. The truth is, my mom abandoned me a long time ago, and… I still want her to love me.
Sinking into a chair, she leaned over to cup her face as the emotion bubbled up. “I’m so stupid! Why am I so stupid?!”
“Wendy?”
Releasing the hot air in her lungs, Wendy forced herself up and strained a smile as Sora exited the elevator; Eyia probably couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
“Sora, ahem—sorry. Today was just… a little hard.”
“Hey, what are you apologizing for?” she mumbled, moving around her bags to join her. “We don’t have to do it today—Nilly…”
“Mrrrow!”
Wendy choked a laugh as a bell chimed, and the two-tailed cat spontaneously appeared by her, rubbing against her prickly legs. “Awww, Nilly. You’re such a good kitty.”
“Meow!” the cat chimed, purring as she reached down to pull the red-tailed girl onto her lap to pet; her touch and nuzzles helped soothe the chills.
Sora sat across from her, a small smile on her lips as she watched her give the cat some love. She didn’t talk, and Wendy remembered how good her best friend was at comforting her throughout their childhood whenever she was scared or upset. It was so unfair to Sora.
Unable to look at her in the eyes, Wendy’s gaze wandered the scenery through the window. She didn’t know what to feel; jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used—all of it at once?
After several seconds, she whispered, “Am I stupid, Sora? I… feel like my mom abandoned me… but I still want her to love me. Am I unlovable?”
“What—no!” Sora lurched forward to take her hand and kneel in front of her, tears forming in her own eyes. “No, Wendy! I love you, my dad loves you—hah, you’re literally my adopted sister now! Please, don’t shut me out.”
Shaking her head and streaming out a heavy breath, she coughed and curled in. “Then why doesn’t my mom love me? I have to know!” she cried, swimming eyes meeting Sora’s worried and shining green irises. Lips quivering, Wendy twitched as Nilly’s wet nose rubbed against her wrist. “I have to know why she abandoned me. I gave my everything! So… why wasn’t it enough? Why wasn’t I enough for my mom?”
Sora’s arms wrapped around her, seemingly unable to speak as she held her for a time. A few minutes passed before Wendy felt the drive to find the truth. She had to know the truth.
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She gently pushed forward, letting Sora know she was going to get up while lifting Nilly up protectively against her chest; just holding the cat helped stabilize her turbulent emotions. “I have to know…”
“Okay… Okay.” Sora puffed out a hot stream of air, and a sudden surge of uplifting feelings filtered through her, cleaning away her tears. She smiled as her best friend rubbed her arm. “I’m here for you—always… so even if you feel like you’re alone. I’m here.”
“Thanks.” Setting her heart to hear the truth for herself, Wendy took her first step toward the elevator; it felt like she had a horse attached to her leg. “Eyia was worried about me… I guess she told you?”
“Uh, Kari, actually,” Sora said with a sad smile. “She said she could be the bad guy since you already despise her, but you probably needed, ahem—a kick in the ass. I think she’s just trying to sound mean on purpose, though.”
Wendy didn’t respond, looking down at the gifts she’d bought for her mom. She hadn’t expected Kari to care at all enough to rat on her emotional breakdown. Maybe she didn’t know the wolf all that much.
Sora swiftly gestured at them, lifting the bags off the ground with her magic. “Want me to bring them?”
After a second, Wendy shook her head and hugged Nilly closer to feel her purrs. “Just… leave them. I don’t know… we can return them later or something. Let’s go.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them as the silent Foundation guard took them to the ground level. Wendy’s brow furrowed into a scowl upon seeing one woman she’d hoped never to see again; she was in her top 10 least favorite people, at least.
“Sora, Wendy,” the French woman greeted, her accent thick as she put away her tablet, unfolded her legs, and rose to her feet. “It took you long enough; I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes.”
“Diane,” Sora growled, glaring at the witchy Foundation woman. “What brings you crawling off the Moon Base to my hotel?”
Diane’s smirk held that aggravating look that said she was dealing with stupid teenagers. “Well, Princess, you demanded your friend’s mother be flown halfway across the world as soon as possible for a confrontation. Fortuitously, I happened to finish all my preparations and work in time to catch the flight.”
Taking off her expensive-looking sunglasses, she grinned and gestured to the elevator. “Part of my duty is to inspect Avalon Academy, and you so happen to have a direct access point that will save me quite some time. Surely, it wouldn’t be a problem for me to utilize your privilege since I brought your target so hastily to your doorstep? She is out back, basking in male attention.”
Wendy’s gaze followed her gesture to the hallway leading to the back of the hotel, and pressure mounted against her chest again. My mom’s out back… flirting? My mom?!
Sora smiled wickedly and shook her head. “Sorry, Diane, but there are strict protocols in place. You’ll have to take the long way. Thank you for your help, though! Maybe you can catch up on your research on the trip.”
“Typical teenage gatekeeping,” Diane sighed, not looking all that annoyed by her response as she hung her glasses on the front of her blouse. “I see Fen and Jian have yet to return. I’ll have to find them myself.”
She promptly left, shocking Wendy a little that the witch had waited 20 minutes only to leave after a little pushback. The 18th-century woman paused just before fully breaking away.
“Ah, and A-953 has somehow escaped her confinement prison. We expect foul play, but I would keep my tail about me, Sora. She has ties to the vulpes in Avalon, having sat on their council for a time.”
“Wait, who?!” Sora asked, nose twisting with displeasure as the witch chortled and moved away. “You can’t just drop some random numbers and info as a warning! You’re supposed to be protecting me, right? Do your job!”
“You are mistaken, Sora,” Diane chuckled, taking out her tablet as she continued to the front, where an expensive, unmarked white SUV waited. “It is not my job to protect you. My job is to do what the EC Council tells me to do. You have our database and contacts. Figure it out yourself.”
“Petty bitch,” Sora grumbled, tail lighting with orange flames as they made their way toward the back. “I swear, she acts like an asshole on purpose. She acts so superior, but I know she’s after something from me, and using me to get into Avalon is all a part of some big plot. Anyway, let’s forget her. You okay, Wendy? Well, obviously not, but yeah. I’m here for you.”
“Meow?”
Wendy blinked, and she realized she wasn’t thinking anything. Was that normal? Her mind was utterly blank, and her path through the hotel to the pool in the back went by like a flash; Sora talked, but she didn’t really seem to hear her for some reason. In fact, most things just bled together until she finally had a look at her mother—only, it wasn’t the mother she’d known.
All emotion vanished as Sora stopped beside her, fixated on the same girl as her. A giggling and classily-dressed young woman, probably no older than twenty, sat in one of the beach chairs, surrounded by three handsome men; Wendy recognized her through a photo her mom had always taped on the mirror.
“Mom?”
“No way,” Sora mumbled, “she looks, like… fifteen years younger. I guess they weren’t kidding—Wendy?”
Wendy strode forward, only half-realizing Nilly had vanished right out of her arms with the chime of a bell. “Mom, we need to talk.”
“Mom?” one of the large men chuckled, looking her up and down. “What is she talking about, Jane? Don’t tell me you’re actually a lot older than you appear!”
“Makeup?” another asked, laughing as her mom played into it.
“Oh, absolutely, boys! How else could a girl look this good? No, I have no idea who this girl is. Scurry along, little tramp—the poor section is in the front… where the guards are. How did someone like you get into this hotel? How much did that dress even cost—did you thrift it? Sad.”
The hair on the back of Wendy’s neck stood up as the men laughed at her. Yell, scream, get drunk, and pass out? Sure, her mom had a foul mouth at times, but never like this. At least, not to her.
“Sora, make them go away!” she snarled, glaring at her young mom and crossing her arms so as not to shake. “Bring my mom back!”
“Hey, there, little girl,” one of the guys said, getting to his feet and coming between her and her smirking mother. “Let’s cool down a bit, and…”
“Leave.” One word from Sora, and the men’s eyes glazed over before promptly heading for the hotel lobby. “Stand up.”
“What… What are you doing to me?! Help! Someone—”
“Shut up,” Sora dully sighed, gesturing for her to go to the nearby table.
Her mother’s frantic eyes darted between the many security guards stationed around the whole hotel perimeter, giving off the vibe of trained professional killers. Not one gave them a second glance since all of them basically worked for Sora. The whole building was bought out and almost everyone moved out to further tighten security around her best friend.
Wendy sat across from her mother, heat rising in her lungs in waves she’d never experienced as she glared at her nervous mom, looking between them. “Is she back?”
“Not yet,” Sora mumbled, rubbing her temples and leaning against the table while staring at the 20-year-old brunette. “I haven’t done this before, so I’m trying to be careful. I’m trying to think how I should do it. If it’s too hard, then we’ll waste my energy for the night and get nowhere, and if I’m not specific in my desire, then it could have… issues. Umm. Just give me a minute to analyze what I’m dealing with.”
A tense stillness passed between them. Wendy drilled into her mom’s nervous brown eyes, unsure what was happening to her right now but knowing she didn’t have control over her body. Questions swirled through Wendy’s heart that had punched through the internal dam she’d built throughout her life, and finally, Sora reversed the Foundation’s memory block.
Getting to her feet, Sora’s tail lit with a brilliant blue flame as she went to Jane’s back, the fluffy fur weaving in the flaring energy. The second it touched her mom’s quivering back, the fire ignited across her figure, leaving her fashionable bikini untouched. When it died, her mother’s wild eyes stilled and narrowed, her nose twitching with rage.
Sora groaned as she sank into her seat, waving her hand. “It’s done—it was a lot stronger than I thought it would be. I think it’s venom from a… monster? Anyway, you can speak now.”
“Mom?”
“What… the ever-living hell do you girls think you’re doing?” her mother snapped, her young, livid face and hard cadence making Wendy’s gut cramp. “So much for the memory shit they gave me. Of course, the damn monster bitch goddess herself wouldn’t let me have a good life. What do you want, Sora?”
“Not to be digging around your envious and lustful mind,” Sora growled back, returning the glare. “Gah! I forgot how much I hate your voice. Answer Wendy’s questions and try not to lie for once. When that’s done I’ll leave you to the Foundation again.”
“Oh, is that all?” Her mom laughed and crossed her arms under her bust, which was larger than what Wendy remembered in her photographs. She’d probably had some enhancements made, but it all looked entirely natural, and it probably was with the Foundation’s technology involved. “What do you want, Wendy? You got what you wanted. Sora and the rich, fancy fantasy world are all yours. Go have your Magical Girl fantasy!”
Wendy opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She stared at the woman across from her, trying to connect ideas that seemed so foreign. It was her mother’s harsh tone. It was her mother’s impatient leer. It was her mother’s coarse words. And yet, it wasn’t linking to the mother in her mind.
“Hello? Earth to Wendy! Gah. You always were slow on the uptake. Ugh… It’s why I had to send you to those damn expensive tutors when you were five. Some shit about you not interacting enough with kids your age. My throat’s parched. Mind getting me a drink if you’re going to be holding me hostage, Sora? Hah! What’s with that look, monster?”
Shaking her head, terror gripped Wendy’s throat as she realized the memories were all a lie—a projection of what she wanted.
“…Why? Mom, why?” she cried, her lips trembling as the liquid ran down her cheeks. “My time, my love, my effort, my dedication… I gave you everything I had. I had your back. I held you up—I told you you were good enough—so… so why was I not enough? Am I that unlovable? Do I… really mean nothing to you?”
“Oh, Lord! That’s right, make me out to be the bad guy,” Jane scoffed, rolling her eyes and leaning against her fist. “Go ahead. Let it out, Wendy. How bad of a mother was I to you? I kept a roof over your head. I fed you—I don’t see you starving—and yeah, we didn’t have the glamorous life like Ms. Monster Fox over here, but I did everything. This is how you repay everything your mother did for you. Huh. Why are you so angry? Sora’s influence, no doubt.”
“Everything? Sora’s influence?” Wendy mumbled, forcing a laugh. “Why am I angry? You gave me the bare minimum… I had to work for anything I wanted,” she shouted, sniffing back her tears. “If I sound angry, bitter, sad—desperate… it’s because it’s the truth. All I wanted was a little affection… to be loved by my mom!”
Choking, Wendy stood up, legs shaking. “You made me feel like my father never loved me—that he left because of me! You made me feel like my mother never loved me! Do I remind you of a part of you that you don’t like because I just wanted you to love me—I just wanted you to love me… but sometimes I think you’re only satisfied when you see me begging like a dog! It hurts! It hurts, Mom! Why?! Why couldn’t you love me… Why?”
Her voice faded away as she lost strength in her legs, falling to the chair, blurry eyes looking for answers in her mom’s pinched face, staring off to the side. A single tear fell down her mom’s eye as she cleared her throat and sighed.
“Wow… So, what, did you rehearse that in front of the mirror all night? If that’s how you feel, then maybe it was better for you to hitch yourself to the Monster Fox’s family. Maybe her mom won’t suck ass, huh?”
As if an ocean of icy water dumped over her head, the heat in Wendy’s chest was doused by a numbing void. “What? How could… you say that to your daughter—to me? I gave you my whole life… and you’ve spent yours taking the best of me. Am I worth that little to you? I can’t—I just… I can’t…”
The chair fell back as she stumbled out of it and ran into the lobby; she couldn’t hear or see anything other than her mom’s callous, cutting words and her bitter face.
I don’t have a mom!
* — * — *
“Wendy!” Sora lurched to her feet as her sister bolted. “Wendy… What is wrong with you?!” She felt sick as she stared down at the sour-faced woman. “You… didn’t mean all of that, so why did you do that to your own daughter?”
Jane sniffed and got up, shoving down her emotions and walking over to a bottle that was beside her chair. “Let her run off and simmer for a bit. The damn girl never listens when she’s emotional… Shit. It’s already gone,” she grumbled, staring into the opening and laughing. “Good thing I have another.”
Cracking another bottle, she walked back and dropped into the chair before setting the cup down with a fond smile as the liquid poured into the crystal; despite her outward attitude, shame burned in her chest, yet there was no remorse.
“You know, Sora. Your magic has made me think about a lot of things,” she mumbled, picking up the glass to swirl the liquid around. “I don’t know if I have any answers for you. Haaa. What kind of mother am I? I wake up right about the mid-afternoon… the sun is in the sky, but not for long. Funny, right? I walk to the mirror, say a prayer to the child in me—I swear I used to be what I truly believed—and raise a glass to that woman I used to know before fixing myself up for work… Life gets harder when you only love yourself.”
She downed the cup with a spiteful smirk, going for a second, then a third, as Sora slowly sat back in her seat; if it hadn’t been for Jane’s unusual aura, she’d be right behind Wendy, but something wasn’t right with the woman—she didn’t feel entirely like the absolute demon she’d felt in her first magical interaction with the drunk.
“You… did that on purpose to break Wendy’s connection to you? You do love Wendy.”
“Do I, though?” Jane questioned, a snicker following as she held the glass up to the light, casting a glow across her young face. “One more drink, and I’m going home… Hah. Truth is, I don’t really have a place to go. I guess I’m just a woman of no recourse. People get sick, and they’ll just watch you bleed, and eventually… your knees get too tired to pray. So you drown in whatever works… Life inside a bottle… all alone. That’s me.”
Getting up, she grabbed her bottle and moved toward the bar, the weight of the world on her shoulders. “It haunts me like I hope you’ll never know, Sora. I’m just a woman with broken dreams and a failing heart. Wendy’s always been better with you—better than me—treat her better than I did… because I don’t think I’ll be seeing her in heaven when I reach the end of my bottle. Haha! Low bar. Am I right? Time just seems to go on and on… on and on… and on and on… Bartender, pour me another. One more drink and I’ll be going home. Cheers.”
Conflicted, Sora stood up and walked after Wendy’s trail, following her frantic scent. She doubted the woman would be here when they returned. Tail low and confused by the woman’s depressed yet hopeful spirit, Sora went to comfort her sister.