“Santoryu: Onigiri”

I put the coffin in-between me and the attack to block it and gain some distance from the green haired bounty hunter.

I said gain some distance but truth be told it’s more like getting batted away across the marine bases training field and landing on my feet.

Seriously the strength of this world is no joke.

Considering his training it is no wonder he can hit as hard as Arthuria not to mention that weird-ass sword style of his.

“Bastard that attack would’ve cut me in three pieces.” I shouted at the bandana wearing battle maniac as I readied Kanshou and Bakuya at my side readying myself for our next clash.

“Well you didn’t so quit your whining and just take it like a man.” It speak volumes for my declining sanity that I didn’t even question how he can talk so clearly even after having to grip that sword in his mouth.

“Shi shi shi, Zoro hurry up and finish it up already I’m getting hungry.” The rubber-brained idiot said to the violent sword for brains, seriously this world is insane; I tell that to myself for the nth time since arriving here.

For Roots-sake when I say “rubber-brained” I really meant it literally, in every sense of the word “rubber-brained”.

What kind of ROOT-BE-DAMNED existence is that abomination, don’t get me wrong I’ve heard of elementals before, you know the spirits of nature that take physical form of their respective elements, but this is just weird and quite unnerving, who in the whole never ending Swirl of the mother-f@ck1ng ROOT thought of creating or even breading a ROOT-damned Rubber elemental.

“Well you heard my captain, considering this is my first official orders, I hope you’re ready Emiya.”

“As if I even have a choice, haaaaah, so this is my life now.” I said with begrudging acceptance. It’s not like I can’t understand why he wanted to fight me but pointless bloodshed really isn’t that appealing to me. But looking at his eyes filled with resolve and from the memories I saw within his sword, one of the Meito graded in the category of the 21 O Wazamono, The Straight Road of the Harmony, The Wado Ichimonji, I shouldn’t hold anything back, I will match the steel of his resolve with the steel of my own.

“BRING IT ON… l’Olannais.” I shouted and it is with a deep cathartic pleasure that I find a tick mark on the forehead of my opponent for my comment about his name.

“I told you not to call me that. Now this will be more painful than it is supposed to be.” He went into a stance where he put his two swords from his hands in front of him and started spinning them.

So it has come to this huh. He really is using his strongest technique against me. Well considering he’s stronger, faster, more skilled and more experienced than me I guess it would be an honor to face his strongest. Well with all that said it’s not like I’m guaranteed to lose, my style has always been made for fighting against those stronger than me. If he outclasses me in quality I’ll go with, quantity. I threw Kanshou and Bakuya towards him and without missing a beat I rushed towards him unarmed, I didn’t know if its because of genuine surprise in my action or the blatant mockery of swordsmanship that I just did, but going by the pissed off and murderous glare directed at me I guess it’s the latter. Well, I’ve always told him that I’m not a swordsman like him, it’s his fault that he doesn’t believe me, after executing this technique I hope he’ll finally believe me, if I’m still breathing by then.

“Luffy, make sure to watch closely and make sure both of us don’t die.” Hopefully the idiot gets my meaning.

Really what the hell is wrong with this fucked up picture? I’ve been here for only a month and I find myself facing off against one of these seas most famous bounty hunter turned pirate.

Fuck my life,

Fuck my E-rank luck,

Fuck the old troll,

Fuck the pirates,

Fuck the marines,

And

Fuck this world.

Where, just where did it all go wrong?

Well thinking back on it….. Yeah nothing went right since I got here… Even before I got here nothing went right in my life…Yeah that was a sad realization to have, especially when you have a 3 sword wielding demon out for your blood.

Let’s see my track record so far:

Get caught up in a War that only occurs once every 6 decades that kills all your immediate family and lose all your memories. Check

Get saved by the one who caused said fire that was an ex-super magic based assassin that left you a dream that will more than likely get you killed. Check

Taught you an ultra-painful way to use magecraft that would’ve gotten you killed 90% of the time if you didn’t have Avalon and said method isn’t even the right one. Check

Get caught up in the same war that took everything from you that started 50 years earlier and because you were the only viable candidate in the immediate vicinity due to the piss-poor bastardization of magecraft that your father taught you, while getting the most powerful class of servant for having implanted with a catalyst that saved your life and not know how to support said servant for having no formal magus training whatsoever. Check

Let’s face it if my luck is anything to go by I think the war just started early just to shove a pole in my ass, which in the first night of getting involved did shove a cursed red pole in me, just not in my rear side thankfully.

Hmmmm… is it just me or am I sensing a pattern here?

Getting marked for death by the wars undoubtedly strongest master and servant pair that turned out to be your long lost sister that hated your very existence because you stole dad away from her while said servant almost cut you in half. Check

This is getting really, really weird it seems that the worsts parts of my life are connected to dad in one way or the other. Nah… surely its just me over thinking it, right?

Falling in love with your dream girl and having said love to be hopeless from the very beginning because said love interest is for a lack of a better description a “Dream girl”. Just to drive the point home of how hopeless it is the universe decided to ruin the end of your one and only date with your love by throwing humanities first and oldest stalker in your way that rains countless peerless swords and blades in your general direction. Check

Well that was one thing that dad didn’t cause.

Wait wasn’t Gilgamesh Kirei’s servant from the last war, and Dad being Kirei’s rival in the last war where he failed to kill him, if Dad did kill Kirei then no Gilgamesh.

That does it, its official everyone Dad is my anti-luck charm. I know, I know anti-luck charms doesn’t exist, but if I would equate an accurate description of what he is in contrast to actual things or even words, then I’m afraid that I would be cursing like a sailor.

Dad if your hearing this, you know I love you right and I know you loved me, but man oh man you had you’re issues and that’s okay and all. But really, just really can those issues of yours not fuck me up in the most horrible way possible

Getting drenched by the Mud of ALL-THE-WORLD’S-EVILS not once but twice and feel all of the curses and vile intentions harbored by thousands of man. Check

Find out your sister is dying just after saying goodbye to the love of your lie and to save said sister you are subjected to the whims of an old blood-sucking magician trolling your life. Check

Shit, listing them all like this just feels like getting a nice punch in the groin. (AN: All hail Master Ken)

When did my life get from depressingly-insane to bat shit crazy?

Oh yeah that would be when the troll left me in his dimensional portal.

How did it go again?

{[(I am a line break, I may not be essential to the plot of story but I do my job and I do it well.)]}

~Approximately One Month Ago~

I was floating in the middle of an empty space filled to the brim with colours, each of different shade and vibrancy from what is expected, if I would explain it more clearly it seems that the colours do not imprint themselves to my eyes they bypass the physical act of seeing and go directly to the brain.

Weird as it is I could not deny its sheer novelty and beauty and frankly I was quite enamored with all the different colours like a child watching the ever explosive fireworks in a night sky.

Unfortunately for me I forgot the most basic lesson taught to a magus, the very first instruction nay law imparted when starting to delve to the depths of the moonlit world “to be a magus is to walk with death”.

Our magic may kill us, the people around us may kill us, our experiment may kill us and heck the very spirit of our world is actively trying to kill us so it should’ve came as no surprise when the very colours that I am currently admiring are currently attacking my brain.

It started when the different colours were suddenly merging together forming so many different images, images that are currently bombarding my mind continuously without giving break causing me the mother of all headaches.

Even before my mind can make sense of the first one, a second one comes, then a third, then a fourth if my brain was not currently trying its best not to explode from the sheer amount of information being forcibly shoved into it, I would’ve tried counting said images.

No matter how high my mental endurance has grown from the pain of making make shift circuits with my spinal nerves even I have a limit.

The limit which my current dire situation has graciously shown me, followed by an ever encompassing darkness.

The next thing I knew was that I was waking up in a well-lit cave my back aching from what I assume to be from sleeping in the cold hard floor of said cave.

I tried to stand up but before I do I got a searing headache almost comparable to the one I had before being knocked unconscious.

The pain came out of nowhere and as fast as it came so did it disappear but after that came clarity.

Memories and information about the world I am in.

A world whose geography consists of mostly blue seas where landmasses are few and far between, there are no continents here the largest piece of continues geological formation appears to be a giant wall like mountain that seems to divide the whole world in two called the Red Line.

The habitable pieces of real states are mostly composed of island ranging from small ones that may or may not be able to contain at least a villages worth of people, to truly big ones where entire countries with different cities were built.

The different seas are what interest me though, if the memories are to be trusted then depending which sea I ended up in may signify the amount of danger I will be.

The 6 seas the first four of which are named after the four cardinal directions they are situated in accordance to the placement they have between both the Red Line and the Grand Line the North blue, the South Blue, the West blue and the East blue.

Next we have is the Calm seas or most popularly known as the calm belt a stretch of two seas that separates the Grand Line from the other sees.

Lastly we have the Grand Line a body of water that much like the red line travels around the world the largest among the six seas and the most dangerous among them not only for its vastness but because of the current era I am currently in.

Unlike in my own world where all the seas have been navigated, mapped and travelled the seas of the Grand Line have never been fully documented nor are there any reliable information regarding it.

My initial assessment of the situation is that this world is not yet as advanced as mine for when my world reached the Machine age of Shipbuilding it seems that this world is currently in between the Age of Sails and the Age of Steam. Though navigation is a problem the most concerning one is the era I am in.

The current era of this world is what they have called to be The Great Age of Pirates a parallel to my own worlds Golden Age of piracy the difference however is how the era came to begin.

Where in my world it began due to seafarers wanting to go for exploration and trade the Pirate age of this world can be attributed to one man the Pirate King Gol D. Roger’s last word in his execution.

The first and only man to have conquered the Grandest among all the seas, the man whose words launched an age of adventure and chaos, a man who is still causing waves 20 years after his death, a man who has undoubtedly cemented his name in the annals of this worlds history and a man who has undoubtedly ascended to the throne of heroes.

“Hahahahahahahahahahaha.”

I could not help but laugh in joy for the opportunity that old man Zeltrech has given me while also laughing at the absurdity of the situation he put me in.

In my world the Golden Age of Piracy indeed produced certain number of individuals that ascended to the Throne of heroes at the top of my head I could already name a few that the fingers on my hands and foot are not enough to count; people like Edward Teach, Hayreddin Barbarossa, Henry Morgan, Anne Bonny and Mary Read, William Kidd, Bartholomew Roberts, Henry Every, Jean Lafitte, Olivier Levasseur, Charlotte Badger, Thomas Cavendish, Calico Jack, Francois l’Olannais, Walter Raleigh, Oruc Reis, Edward Thatch, Benjamin Hornigold, Edward England, Stede Bonnet, Samuel Bellamy, Awilda, Edward Low, Cheung Po Tsai, and of course “El Draque” Sir Francis Drake.

Considering this world is more seafaring than actual land travel the pirate age of this world will be grander than the one in mine and dare I say it the amount of legends that will be created during this era might be comparable to my own worlds Age of Heroes.

Given the opportunity this brings me what could I complain about you ask?

It’s simple really, it is because they are … Pirates….ROOT-DAMNED PIRATES, the rape, pillage, plunder, burn the village and salt the earth pirates.

Yeah some of them had started with noble intentions but even then they committed atrocities not against their enemies but towards the innocent.

Among the heroes that ascended during the Golden age of piracy all of them committed plunder on trade vessels and merchants alike to keep their ships afloat, some of them would even torture their victims in the cruelest most twisted way they now how just to show their competitors who has the baddest ass around.

If I joined a pirate crew I would join one who doesn’t commit such atrocities and let’s be honest what chance would there be of one existing (AN: more than you think Dear Shirou more than you think).

Even if I become a captain who I highly doubt am charismatic enough to do, who would join a crew that does not want treasure they would be better off joining the marines at least they’ll get paid.

This is my current dilemma, I am in an age where ascending the throne of heroes is doable but the method in doing so is wrought with infamy not of glory, which unfortunately clashes with the very reason I want to be a hero in the first place, a hero worthy of Avalon, a hero worthy of reaching her, yet the path of ascension to the throne is unacceptable.

With no solution in sight I decided to put it in the back burner for a while and leave the long term plans after I have acclimated myself to this world. So I started to proceed to do what the headache prevented me to do before and that is to sit up and scan my surroundings.

“So where did that old man drop me off?” I questioned

I looked at the source of light I have and was promptly shocked out of my wits.

“WHAAAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” I screamed to no one in particular which the small cave I was in decided to echo.

Really what else is the expected response to have when you are staring at a silver coffin with the freakiest, boot shacking, design you’ll ever see just casually standing there about the same height as you, with its skull figurehead’s eyes glowing blue illuminating the tiny cave I was in. (AN: Design of THE COFFIN in Gungrave but instead of black and red its silver and blue and instead of the cross symbol on it the symbol is Shirou’s command seals)

As I gathered my wits about me and trying to stay composed in front of this monstrosity I noticed the folded parchment of paper right underneath the Skull design. I proceeded to walk towards the coffin and grabbed said paper which read “To Shirou”. I unfolded the paper and read.

Dear Shirou,

If you are reading this then you have arrived safely to your destination safely. This coffin in front of you contains all the things you may or may not need for starting off in that new world…

“Why the hell in all Root damned existence did he deliver all of this in a coffin?”

…First and foremost you might be wondering along the lines of “Why a coffin of all things? Why not a crate? Or a Suit case? Or maybe just a duffel bag?”. To answer your question is because those things are not remarkable enough. They are easily forgettable and therefore prone to loss or theft. Who in their right mind would ever forget a coffin? Or what thief is brave enough to steal a coffin? The answer is no one because a coffin always gets attention. Don’t you love how macabre human thoughts are? All of those are good reasons but the one above all is that, how hilarious would it be for you to drag a coffin around the city? An age old question I want an answer to, which you have the misfortune of providing me.

“That root-damned old troll did all this just to get a laugh. THAT @$$H01&!!!!”

Now, now Shirou I may do things that are safe to say downright sadistic to embarrass or shame you but I operate by the principle of equivalent exchange, you have a choice here Shirou Emiya you can leave the coffin alone or you can use it. You may think this coffin is a mere delivery box but I assure you it’s not. You can just empty out its contents and be done with it and that is fine by me.

Let me describe what The Coffin is first or maybe you should take it around for a spin. Say the words “Grave Alter” first and you’ll see what I mean.

Seeing as there is no reason to distrust the old man I did as told and uttered the words.

“Grave Alter” and how I wish I didn’t.

Upon saying the words the blue circle under the skull design bearing the symbol of me and Arthuria’s command seal opened revealing Kanshou and Bakuya, but these were not the Kanshou and Bakuya I was familiar with, they were different, they were no longer mere blades, they were altered, no longer a pair of twin falchions but a pair of bayoneted handguns.

As soon as I laid my eyes on them I subconsciously read the weapons history they maybe guns now but a part of them retained the element of blades.

What I saw disgusted me, these weapons were not used in the murder of hundreds or thousands but the hundred thousand.

These were weapons of carnage and massacre, as blood stained as they are I couldn’t help myself but be drawn to them.

I liberated them from their respective holsters and as soon as I positioned my fingers in their grip I knew they fitted just right. Kanshou and Bakuya no matter what form they take would always be weapons made for no one’s use.

Blades made purely from the desire to make, the most fitting weapons for a faker.

To say that the one who altered these blades didn’t bother me would be a lie, the truth is he fascinated me and I pitied him.

He was a sword without purpose, a drawn blade with no direction so he cut all and everything around him till the blood he spilled rusted his edge and blunted him and when he most needed his sharpness it failed him; but credit where credit is due in his maddened search for purpose he has done what none before him could, he became the owner of Kanshou and Bakuya, yes he did disrespect the legacy of Gan Jiang and Mo Ye and I resent him for that but unlike me or Archer he was no faker he was a killer.

Kanshou and Bakuya became the extension of his will, the heralds of death in his hands.

For me who never had a sword for my own has felt a tinge of envy for the version of me that did and as he did his Kanshou and Bakuya I too will one day have my own, till then his blades-no his gun blades will be in my employ.

As I returned the gunblades to their respective holsters I closed the lid on them and continued reading.

Those guns are yours from an alternate reality that I procured after your version’s untimely expiration. Much like the cigarette pack I gave you it runs on your Od to create bullets, you get around 8 rounds per clip and the reload time about 10 seconds at least. I leave it to you how you wish to handle them but be warned you may copy his skills but you need your body to be up to the task to fully demonstrate it. Next is “Grave Dance” which I think is the one you’ll find most familiar

Okay let’s see he said I’m familiar with the next one considering the last one he showed me it’s safe to say that my most familiar blades would be the next to appear.

“Grave Dance”

The bottom part under the blue circle opened this time revealing my most favored swords the falchion form of Kanshou and Bakuya. After inspecting them that nothing is amiss I closed them again and continued reading the letter.

The next would be for an ultra-range attack the password is “Grave Roar”

“Grave Roar”

The sides of the skull coffin retracted like a zipper and revealed the black bow that archer uses which is as tall as me designed to fire broken noble phantasms without strain and the top part of the coffin appeared to have sported some protrusions which I assume are supposed to be the arrows I’ll use.

If you notice the nails attached to chains hanging in the top and bottom of The Coffin those are indeed pair of Rider’s chain nails you can just push your Od into them to attach and reattach them. You might be wondering what good The Coffin is when you can merely trace them for your convenience but let me remind you Shirou you are still a beginner and until you are up to snuff with your magecraft a little help goes a long way and it is also a convenient way for you to conceal you’re a magus if that world is not that accepting of our kind. What I explained to you by far is what The Coffin contains but the coffin itself is the greatest weapon among them. That Coffin is a mystic code I myself has crafted and used the second magic in most of its functions, first of which is those command seals as its insignia which work like a teleportation method to come to you if you so wish the chant is “Grave Rise” much like a command seal however it can be used for only three times until it runs out of power each time you use it a seal disappears but it is also self-charging the time for its reuses depend on the amount of ambient prana in the worlds environment once it is ready the seal is also restored .

“Are you freakin serious this coffin is a mystic ode?” I unbelievingly clench my hands tighter on the parchment I was reading and looked at said coffin in disbelief.

This creepy piece of thing is a mystic code made from one of the True Magic’s, this is unbelievable; in my old world such a thing is incredibly priceless.

Magus far and wide will be willing to offer their first born just for a chance to study it never mind about owning it.

For those who pursue the second magic this thing is a gold mine that will never run out and all of a sudden thought came in to my mind, never let Rin find out I have it, this thing will be taken apart before I can even say “Kaleidoscope”.

Also this can also function as a portable prana battery for you, do you see the glowing eyes in the skull design? The brighter they glow the more prana they currently hold and yes you can extract them for your own use or use them to recharge the seal. What’s more is the material I used to craft the coffin is no ordinary metal, for it to withstand the enchantments and spells I used, especially those related to the second magic is that I needed something with more durability, so I used an unknown metal in our world. The Coffin is made from a metal I acquired in another world, this metal is known in that world as Vibranium, which I kind of sort of stole and it has properties to be able to disperse momentum so as far as defenses go it is nearly indestructible.

Unbelieving of what he said I touched said coffin and did a quick structural analysis on the metal that caused a very painful yet familiar headache.

I quickly step back from The Coffin, that head ache was the same headache I got from when I saw Gilgamesh’s sword when he fought Arthuria beneath the bridge.

This metal is not a native of our world, yes I recognize the familiar elements in it but I don’t recognize its composition or the other unknown elements in it.

This metal was as mysterious as Ea one not made by the world or man’s, something I have no chance of understanding now.

Now that I explained the usefulness of The Coffin in battle I would like to explain its most important function its storage. As I said The Coffin uses the Kaleidoscope which in its most basic form involves manipulation of space, I put enchantment in the body of the coffin to be able to store large quantities of items regardless of its size trying to create an unlimited storage. That however was a failed endeavor the amount of space it can contain would only be about 3 storage units big, a huge failure I know, to this day I cursed that blue cat in envy of its dimensional pocket. I swear if I once again find that thrice damned #MS-903 time-travelling robot cat he will not come out of the meeting in one piece, I will learn the secrets of dimensional storage from its shriveled corpse if it is the last thing I do. Sorry young Shirou I got side-tracked due to my hate for that damned feline you can open the coffin by pushing your Od atop the skull.

I do it and was surprised by the whole lid slipped and detached itself from the rest of the coffin, as it started crashing to the ground I caught it.

Surprised by the light weight of the hunk of metal I was carrying I looked at the remains of The Coffin that hasn’t fallen to the ground and confusingly stared at what stood before me is a whole plain coffin devoid of the unnecessary theatrics of the one I’m carrying. I put the lid down at the ground to read the letter hoping to find an answer.

The coffin is divided in to two parts the one with the ornate skull design is the weapon carrier part which is slim and easy to carry and maneuver in battle while the rest is the storage part. The two are separate for a reason; the storage contains the prana gathering and space enchantment, the weapon carrier has a significant durability and prana conversion enchantment, and so to recharge the command seals and prana battery you must put the lid back with the storage one. Do not worry though if you use the teleportation function they will both come. Now to open the storage you just need to drop some of your blood in it. I hope you like my surprise present for you Shirou.

That statement caused my blood to freeze and skin to crawl.

I don’t think I can handle any more surprises from the old troll. I guided the rest of coffin to the floor in a horizontal position and pricked my finger with the chain nails from the weapon carrier.

Preparing any and all my nerves for what I have to uncover. The coffin went click and it opened.

The first thing I saw was the thing I ask the old man to bring with me the picture of me and Arthuria when we went out on the day of our date with her holding onto a lion plushy. A reminder of what I came here to accomplish the promised reward for being true to my path.

After a respectful amount of time my eyes began to wander about the other things inside the coffin and as quickly as I began I promptly stop, eyeing an object wrapped in what I could only assume as Christmas wrapping with a card written with big bold letters in it “SURPRISE PRESENT!”.

“Well there’s no use delaying the inevitable I suppose.” I let out a long drawn out sigh. “Let’s get to it then.” I pulled the ribbon keeping the wrappings intact and revealed what’s hidden beneath.

I rubbed my eyes and pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating for what’s in front of me is something that should not be here, an object that I already parted with and given back to its original owner, the artifact that linked me to Arthuria in the throne of heroes, Excalibur’s sheath The Avalon.

After going through a cycle of denial, disbelief, and dumbfoundedness I finally came to the acceptance that Avalon was truly here. How or why it was here I couldn’t care less, what is important is that it is here and I have it in my arms, a connection to the one I hold most dear.

Hard as it is for me I will grudgingly admit that the old troll certainly outdid himself, this was certainly a surprise I admit to be most unexpected but no less thankful for.

Without thinking I hugged the legendary sheath close to me as it’s familiar warmth began disappearing into my body as I reabsorbed it and after it has been done a it feels as though a weight has been lifted from something I did not even know I was carrying, a comforting feeling that something has been found after long hours of looking a subtle feeling of completeness.

The other stuff in the coffin seems to be books about mage craft and containers of different kinds. In the corner of my eye I spotted in the open lid an old looking paper embedded in the coffin itself with a list of things that that the coffin seemingly contains called “Shirou Emiya Starter pack”.

The list contains an assortment of things from the expected and mundane like change of clothes, a guitar, lighters, gold bullions and jewels, to the more esoteric like magecraft books regarding bounded fields, runes, projections and alteration and enchantments, to the most bat shit crazy and insane like Zeltrech’s Guide in being a Badass: 101 Rules in being a Main Character, Pros and Cons of Being a Dense Harem Protagonist, Bedding Lessons from a Kama Deva, Cool Lines for Shonen Protagonist, An Idiot’s Guide For a Jaw Dropping Entrance and the thing that creeps me out the most to the point that my skin crawls and my body hair stands on end just by reading it is; the extra organs of Shirou Emiya he’s got in here from hearts, lungs, livers, kidneys, spleen, intestines and others numbering a dozen of each.

How, why, what and just how did he have this organs?

I really don’t want to know how or why but the macabre and creepy part of my brain or the magus part of it couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Did he harvest the organs of my counter parts or did he grow it himself from my clone or something?

Holding on to the piece of parchment tightly in my arms and staring at it pleadingly akin to a lifeline for my ever declining sense of sanity, hoping, wishing and praying for any and all sort of explanation that would somehow abate my inevitable fall into madness over the completely nonsensical existence of my innards placed neatly in transparent containers before me.

I turned to the second page of the letter and read on.

The contains of the Coffin is the basic help I was able to prepare for your journey and all of it is yours to help you with whatever trouble you might find in your stay there. All of the things I place there are in preparation when your luck finally choose to rear its ugly head. To be honest Shirou you are one of the greatest trouble magnets I have seen in the last century or so, your ability to stumble upon situations that will most certainly kill any man is absurdly outstanding if you know what I mean, as such these objects were chosen to help your chances in going through them with all your limbs intact or so I hope, well most of them are, the others I leave to your imagination.

Well, considering my track record in finding myself in life and death situations I deem that the old magician’s words to be unfortunately true.

The grandest among my gifts other than the coffin itself as you may have noticed is…

Yeah I know it’s the organs right, considering how likely I would get myself injured trying to be a hero a few “supplies” in case of a rainy day may come in handy.

“Huuhhh…..”

I let out a sigh accepting the reality of the situation, no matter how incomprehensible as it seems the old magician is trying to look out for my survival in his own demented and sadistic way I suppose.

… the guitar.

I blinked at the words that I just read. Surely he is kidding right? My eyes subconsciously searched around the coffin to find the said guitar, planning to check it for anything that makes said instrument to be outstanding, to my shock I could not find it.

The only things in the coffin were the books about magecraft and the containers of my extra organs.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

I looked at the letter again to find an explanation for the lack of things inside the coffin as opposed to the list that is embedded in the coffin.

The guitar is one of my most surprising finds in another world. What it does is imbue musical knowledge and talents for anyone possessing it. Imagine my surprise the first time I held it, feeling like a rock star all of a sudden though there is a minor drawback in it which I honestly don’t think will affect you that much. As one of the valuable pieces of equipment I left you along with the others I find it prudent to be on the safe side, as such it is hidden in plain sight. The function of the list parchment embedded into the coffin serves as a monitoring tool for what it contains. It automatically casts structural analysis on anything and everything that is put inside the coffin and scribes it in an organized manner to help keep the owners possession in check and perfect condition. Unfortunately as I already said is that the dimensional pocket of the coffin is incomplete and a failure as such it can only display things proportionate to its size and no living things are allowed. If you wish to change the objects that are to be shown in the coffin all you need to do is close the coffin then highlight the desired objects in the list with your blood for a few seconds and open it again. The desired changes should be seen after those actions have been taken.

I did as the old troll said. I really don’t give a damn what happens now. It is getting so annoying; my patience is rather wearing thin by now.

For god’s sake just when I thought the ridiculousness that old magician will put my sanity through reaches rock-bottom I imagine him smirking at me and summoning a shovel out of nowhere and keeps digging, just to prove me wrong on how low can he go.

I picked the clothes, books about magecraft, the guitar, the lighter, and 4 gold bullions determined for the creepy show of my innards in different containers never ever see the light of day ever again.

Now if I haven’t forgotten anything, those are the things that are of the utmost importance regarding The Coffin and its contents, most of the others are self-explanatory. If you do decide to disregard the use of my gift then I ask of you to throw it somewhere you’re sure no one, and I mean no one not even me can find it or get to it. As I have said Shirou this is a mystic code made from using one of the remaining true magic’s in existence and I cannot stress the dangers it would bring if a magus in that world with evil intent would uncover even a fraction of its secrets’.

That part I completely agree with the old troll something as esoteric and valuable as it is should never fall in the hands of anyone with bad intentions.

I shudder in horror as I pictured the fake priest wielding the secrets of a true magic, if that would happen he wouldn’t need the Holy Grail or maybe even Gilgamesh to make his wish come true.

I wish you luck on your endeavors young Emiya. I hope that you survive in the coming 2 years and 6 months for your sake and mine’s, only God knows what your dear older sister would do to me if she ever finds out that I caused your demise.

Trollingly yours,

Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg

P.S. If you are wondering why I would give you such a valuable artifact think nothing of it all I did was make adjustment to the weapon carrier and packed the thing I thought you might need. Rather than having The Coffin collect dust I thought you might put it to better use.

P.P.S. The Functions of the Coffin is now directly linked to you and you only. The Voice, Magical Signature, and Blood scanner has all been restructured for your use. It is bound to you that not even Medea’s Rule Breaker can break the connection. It will be as if you are the one and only owner of The Coffin since it was made that even I the creator can no longer take it without your permission.

P.P.P.S. Please burn the letter to avoid any evidence of your connection to me magecraft that others may find.

Well even if he is an insufferable prankster I guess thanks are in order for giving me the opportunity to save Illya-nee and to fulfill my dream to see Arthuria again.

“Thank you Zeltrech-san.” As I burned the letter with the lighter I have while fishing out the pack of cigarette he gave me and lighting it up with the burning letter.

Now let’s see what this world has to offer.

{[(I am a line break; I am the herald of the beginning and the end, The Alpha and The Omega.)]}

~The real reason why Zeltrech gave Shirou The Coffin~

A century ago after a certain blood sucking troll finished reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

“That was quite an interesting embellishment on my kinds habits and culture although most of it is untrue I admit it is somewhat kind of cool waking up from a coffin straight up.”

Taking inspiration from the author’s stories about his kind a maniacal grin finds its place in the aged Ancestor’s face.

For weeks the wizard marshal was in a period of non-action which brought the Clock tower relative peace unknown to them it was merely the calm before the storm.

The next time anyone would see the wizard marshal he was carrying a silver coffin on his back, when the braver or more idiotic magus of the clock tower would asked what it was for the magician would say.

“This is my coffin. It’s quite hard for my age too sleep without it. Unlike the other young 27 ancestor I am no longer as youthful as I wish to be. A decade or so ago it wouldn’t bother me to sleep in what you human’s call a bed but for any and all Dead Apostle a coffin is the proper way to slumber. Unfortunately magus such as ourselves lack in hospitality, so much so that not once since I existed has anyone offered proper sleeping arrangements for me and as powerful as I might be it would be uncouth for me to demand a coffin to my specifications from my hosts.”

The questioners would then be embarrassed of their ignorance regarding the culture of Dead apostles. Thus began the rumor of vampires sleeping in coffins circulated in the clock tower, the younger students within the tower who has contact with the mundane world would further fuel these rumors in saying that they knew that vampires did indeed sleep in coffins often quoting Bram Stoker, unbeknownst to the older families that said author was merely a novelist rather they were thinking he was a researcher of Dead Apostles, not wanting to show their ignorance in front of the lesser families they merely nodded their head in compliance, moreover the troll would disguise himself as another dead apostle and carries The Coffin with him wherever he goes and would then repeat his explanations to those willing to listen while adding some lies and embellishment on how comfortable coffins are for the undead along with more common preferences of his people.

Thus the rumor that vampires sleep in coffins became a fact in the clock tower.

All in all it was supposed to be a harmless prank by the Wizard Marshall just to alleviate his boredom and be a trend setter in the process. Unfortunately the world had other plans.

The Bartomeloi magus lineage one of the three great noble families of the clocktower has always been Lords and Rulers embodying perfection and nobility.

When the information reached them, it came as a shock as that they themselves never knew of such culture among the Dead Apostles and considering that they had invited one of the oldest among the 27 Dead Apostle Ancestors Trhvmn Ortenrosse, The White Wing Lord they would like to redeem themselves of their presumed ignorance in giving proper accommodation to the visiting Lord.

“This cannot stand, as the pillar of nobility in the clocktower we the Bartomeloi holder of the Blue-Blood Noble magic circuits must serve as an example of proper decorum.” Said the family head.

He then sent Messengers towards The White Wing lord to ask for his preferred sleeping arrangements.

“Lord Trhvmn Ortenrosse, I came at the behest of the Head of The Bartomeloi family with a question regarding you visit.”

“Ask away servant, I am honored at the invitation from one of the longest lineage of magus in the Association”

“My master asks of thee. What Coffin would you like?”

The old vampire just stared at the messenger for an uncomfortable amount of time before he answered.

“Why would your master ask that of me?” the old vampire asked with a raised eyebrow and a tinge of threat in his voice.

The servant nervously answered the vampire.

“In order for us to prepare for your visit, your lordship. For when you arrive at the Bartomeloi state the family head hopes for you to slumber in a coffin peacefully.”

Those were the last words the servant ever got to say for as soon as he finished his sentence his head was already detached from his body.

“How dare those filthy humans, even though they may be an old magus family that does not give them the right to threaten me. To invite me in their abode, then threaten me with death and to add insult to injury they send a messenger to me asking for my funeral, as if to show me that for them my death is a foregone conclusion. This insult will not go unpunished.”

The old vampire raged towards the perceived threat so he beheaded all the messengers and sent them back to the Bartomeloi.

The Blue-Blood Nobles takings this as a slight to their pride and a declaration of war responded in turn.

So began the blood feud between the Bartomeloi family and the 17th Dead Apostle Ancestor Trhvmn Ortenrosse.

It would be years later that both parties of the ongoing war would realize this misunderstanding but none of them would back down as blood has already been spilt, the first to lay down arms would take a heavy hit in their reputation something that both participants did not want.

As for the cause of all this mess, he claimed ignorance of such events saying he was not an undertaker so he has no reason in carrying a coffin.

Which the Magus Association indeed believe, as incorrigible Zeltrech is even he is not malicious enough to do something that endanger the lives of thousands for a mere prank.

They are indeed correct in their assumptions for this act was indeed done without malice but a result of stupidity.

When realization reach both parties of the blood feud, they called on a worldwide hunt for the holder of the Silver Coffin with the distinctive Skull design, though Zeltrech did disguise himself he did not disguise the coffin, thinking it was a conspiracy and a setup made for them to fight each other and weaken their respective standings both agreed that the miscreant who spread such rumors should be captured and punished, thus for the first time since the Blood Feud started they came to an agreement that a bounty will be issued.

Due to the current state of unrest between the two and the desire to show up their competitor both sides has pledge to pay ridiculous amount for the capture of the perpetrator, the amount was so ridiculous that it even caught the attention of one of the remaining True Magician “The Blue” Aoko Aozaki, it was reported that when she heard of the news regarding the amount she dropped whatever it was she was doing and prepared to find the perpetrator while laughing maniacally and repeatedly muttering in soft vindictive whispers “No…more...debts…forever…No…more…debts…forever.”

Thus even to this day the hatred between the Bartomeloi family and the White Wing Lord still persist, any and all dead apostle wandering around with a coffin are killed without question in the clocktower without repercussion from the 27 Dead apostle Ancestor, and to this day The Legend of the Silver Coffin and its owner is spoken throughout the moonlit world as the object that has the highest bounty for any freelancer paid for by One of the Three noble Houses of The Magus Association and one of the oldest of the 27 Dead Apostle Ancestors and the only one in the recorded history to avoid the wrath of “The Blue”.

At the present day after dropping Shirou and the coffin in another reality the Master of The Kaleidoscope let out a sigh of relief.

“Finally, I was able to get rid of that blasted thing. I can finally invite people here again without the dangers of having someone find that accursed coffin. What was I thinking making that thing out of One of Earths Strongest metal anyway? Oh yeah it’s because fuck the police, the master of the Kaleidoscope rolls in Style.” He looked all around his empty abode and wondered.

“Hmmm… what should I do? Now that I can have people moving about freely here I can finally take on apprentices again. At last I can have servants for this place again without risk of them outing me to Lorelai and Trhvmn for that goddamn ridiculous reward. I mean how the hell did that bounty get so high anyway? Not to mention how many Islands that damn Aoko disintegrated just to find it. Well considering young Shirou will not likely come back I think my problems concerning that Coffin are all but over.”

Unknown to Shirou Emiya the Iron-Wrought Magus even before becoming a pirate he already became the most wanted man in the moonlit-world.

{[(I am a line break; thou should treat thee with the respect thee deserves for I am invaluable.)]}

It has been a week since I arrived here in this world and the things I have discovered here leads me to the conclusion that this world is insane.

First and foremost I am here in one of the blues surrounding the Grandline specifically the East Blue in an island where Shell’s Town was located which, thankfully it is a relatively peaceful town where a marine outpost is located.

Though I did not stay in said town for convenience sake, I do visit daily however to gather information and necessary rations for me. While I perform experiments and improvements in my mage craft and to create a style that incorporates the huge weapon carrier of the coffin, as well to familiarize myself with the newly acquired gunblades that the old troll has graciously given me.

The cave I find myself is near the town’s port to which there are only few people making it extremely convenient for me to practice magecraft. Well to be totally honest my spells are not totally flashy or even noticeable as the only one I’ve been practicing is reinforcement on my muscles and few projections and my personal spell tracing to which the cave where I fist woke up is enough for me which I further repurposed as a temporary home and workshop.

The thing about this world that would make modern magus of my world drool with satisfaction is the amount of ambient prana in the air and the seemingly non-existent interference of Gaia towards magecraft. The effect of said circumstances was a boon for me considering my bed and basically all the things I own were made from my projection spell.

Though Gaia does not seem to exist in this world it does not mean there is no overarching spirit of authority regarding the magical aspects in this world which by my observation is concentrated mostly with the sea and the different bodies of water.

I first noticed it when I planned to go fishing, having planned to do so I projected a simple fishing rod and cast out to the sea but by the time the hook came in contact with the water it started crumbling to prana and dissipated in the air.

The scope off effect may be smaller than the one in my original world as it only takes effect in bodies of water but I assure you it is no less troubling considering most of this worlds geography is characterized by water.

The more concerning thing about this though is the rate of degradation of magecraft spells when coming in contact with the sea.

The speed is by far faster than that of my old world where my normal projections would at the very least last about a minute or two to be used and my well-crafted ones about an hour before being disassembled by the time it makes contact with the sea its degradation starts almost immediately.

I was quite thankful for Zeltrech-san for the weapon’s he gave me though as they were not made from the prana of this world it seems it is recognized as an original when I tested Kanshou by dipping it in the sea it was not degraded even a bit.

It is quite helpful that at least I won’t be disarmed if I ever fell into the sea.

Falling to the sea is another problem in and of itself however as it seems I can’t absorb or channel any prana while I’m swimming.

Given I can still swim but falling in the sea seals away any magecraft I perform even basic reinforcement as all the Od stored in my body is being sucked away and returned to nature making me an average mortal.

As most of this world involves sea faring and lands are few and far in between it seems that travelling is a lot more dangerous than I first thought it was.

Though my magecraft may be a little bit crippled this world has its advantages on the physical aspect.

When I said that this world’s age of piracy is comparable to my own world’s age of heroes, I never imagine how right I was in that statement.

Due to the abundant prana in the air it permeates and is absorbed by the body directly strengthening it and this is not only applicable to humans but to the plants and animals as well making their nutritional value higher than my own worlds counterpart.

Given the information I gathered I truly fear what monsters resides in this world given the nature they were raised in and planning how to catch up with said monsters so day by day I practice my magecraft and took advantage of the ambient prana in the air and improve my physical condition.

Another surprise I have had was being enamored with playing the guitar.

At first I was suspicious at said guitar for the side effect that Zeltrech warned me about, but bit by bit I think I’m starting to enjoy it.

Without cooking to help me relax playing the guitar was a good alternative. I did try to make a kitchen and cook in my cave but unfortunately rather than cook a good meal I would more than likely suffocate myself to death for the lack of ventilation.

Oh… the promiseland of food and spices how I miss thee.

How unfortunate really subsisting on roasted fish and wild fruits and vegetables.

Thank the root for structural analysis cause the some fruits and fishes here look weird as hell and had no clue whether they were edible or not, the surplus of my catch I exchange for currency called Berī.

I avoided using the gold and jewels because it looks mighty suspicious for a stranger carrying loads of precious metal and I might get targeted by the more malice filled people, considering how much trouble I attract I opted to be on the careful side.

That being said the huge chunk of silver, which is the grotesque looking coffin, is firmly hidden inside the cave.

To hell with the magician’s entertainment, no way in all hell will I drag that abomination across town.

I might be forced to travel with it one day but that day is not today.

Because today will just be another ordinary boring day without any dramatic bullshit that my life has become with no climactic meetings or any of that destiny crap.

Those were the thought I keep thinking as I was walking to the market carrying my catch for the day.

My path however is blocked by a gawking crowed it seems, me being my meddlesome self can’t help but become curious, in the week that I arrived here I mostly kept to myself and it seems that my hero-complex-bullheadedness choose now of all times to manifest.

As I was getting closer I was hearing murmurs from around me.

“Is that really him. Isn’t he a bit young for a demon.”

“Sshhh don’t be so loud he might hear you and slaughter your whole family.”

“Why’d he get caught anyway, I heard he was ridiculously strong.”

“Seems like he surrendered.”

“Eh… really, I don’t believe it, just look at those eyes does that look like the eyes of a man that surrendered.”

“Hmmm… really how can you tell.”

“Hmph… a real man knows.”

“pshhhh… your just making shit up”

“Is that really Roronoa Zoro, he doesn’t look much, a bit on the scrawny side if you ask me, compared to Captain Morgan.”

“Yeah, he is quite small, maybe the marines just using some kid as a stand in for propaganda.”

“Not another word man, wanna be executed, if those marines heard you and reported it to Captain Morgan, your heads gonna roll”

As I was making my way through the crowd I tried listening to the rumors going around trying to pick up anything relevant.

The ones of importance I get to hear were the words, “demon”, “pirate hunter”, “bounty hunter” and the name Roronoa Zoro

Is it me or does his name sound familiar.

As I was finally able to walk in front of the crowd I saw a bandana wearing man with a haramaki tied around his waist sporting an evil glare conveying something akin to “mess with me and you’ll wish you’d ended up in your mother’s stomach rather than her womb”

I watched him as he got dragged towards the marine base and got tied up in the wooden cross on the Bases courtyard.

I asked the man beside me what’s happening.

“Mister, who’s that guy?”

“You don’t know kid, that right there is Roronoa Zoro.” I tilted my head in confusion and wonder where I heard that name before.

“Who’s that?”

“You really don’t know do you kid, I wonder if you’re just ignorant or a visitor cause almost everyone in east blue knows who pirate hunter Zoro is.”

“Well to be honest I just arrived in this town a week ago and don’t really know anything about what’s happening here.”

“Oh well that explains why you don’t know him then. Let me explain this for you kid. That person right there is the most famous bounty hunter in east blue right now. It is said that pirates tremble and flee at the mere sight of his shadow, he’s brought pirates down with bounties of more than 1 million berries in more than one occasion, it is said that he is as ruthless and as monstrous as the pirates he hunts, rumor has it that he fights and slaughters like an uncaged beast when he hunts for his next prey.” I furrowed my brow at his explanation, a bounty hunter huh maybe I should try being one or maybe I could be a marine. It would be nice being the hero of the marines and the ones to end the age of pirates, which would surely help a lot of people sleep at night knowing pirates will no longer come.

“Well if he’s a bounty hunter, why is he being arrested and displayed in the marine base? Did he commit a crime or something? Like he hurt civilians in his hunt or destroyed important buildings like that?”

“Well, to be honest lad I really don’t know. All I’ve heard is that he caused some kind of trouble at Ririka’s bar.”

“Could you tell me where the bar is?”

“Yeah I can , but can I ask what do you plan to do there, being curious is okay and good in your age but troubling the owner’s just to satisfy your curiosity is pretty mean spirited don’t you think.”

“Nah, I won’t go there just for the rumors, I was just wondering if that person really did cause some trouble there they could use a hand or two in cleaning up or helping the injured, if there are any.”

“You’re a pretty nice kid aintcha, young’uns like you are quite rare now a days.” I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment for the old guys compliment. “just go down that road and turn left at the second alley then….”

After following the old man’s direction I reached the bar where said bounty hunter wreaked havoc, and wreak havoc he did the entrance of the bar has been kicked out of its hinges with broken tables and chairs inside.

I entered inside the establishment and after the first step I detected the smell I came to know throughout the events of the Holy Grail War, the stench of blood and going by the iron-y waft in the air the person was recently wounded.

I clenched my hands in anger towards the perpetrator of the crime and justified that he is getting what he deserves at the moment. Being crucified under the sun may not be the punishment I would go for but, who am I to question their judicial system, maybe he is just being held there before his trial anyway.

So lost was I in my thoughts and plans of staking out the place to make sure that the culprit would not escape that I didn’t notice the middle age woman walking towards me holding a bucket of water with cloth rags.

“Ano… I’m sorry but we are close at the moment so I’m sorry but we can’t welcome any customers.” I blinked at the woman who called out to me.

I was so flustered from being pulled out from my train of thought that my brain needed to reboot for a second and realizing I was still holding the fish I caught earlier in the day I inadvertently said the first thing that came to mind.

“Do you want some fish?”

The woman looked at the bundle of fish I have then, to me, then back to the fish. She let out an exasperated sigh and said

“I’m sorry, but as you can see the bar is in no need of fish at the moment.”

“heh…hehe” I tried to laugh out my embarrassment but she and I both know that it wasn’t working even in the slightest

“If that is all you came here for young man then I suggest you leave, I’m busy cleaning up here you see.” She said in a harsher tone.

“Well if you let me I can help out if you want.”

“That is a nice offer young man but I’m afraid I still won’t be buying nor needing the fish so would you please leave.”

“uhm … I’m not here to sell the fish, I just wanna help out.”

The lady just eyed me suspiciously.

“Haaah.. young man I admire your dedication in selling your catch but you are bothering others who are in the middle of work right now so for the last time, please leave”

Dammit this conversation is not going the way I hope for at all. To hell with the fish. Tsk

“Fine , you get the fish for free just let me help.”

The lady then blinked in confusion unbelieving of what I said then eyed me with a guarded and pitying look

“What are you playing at young man, I may be a widow but I have no interest in a man who by the looks of it is half my age, I may not look it but I have a daughter to look after so take your lascivious games elsewhere.”

I sweat dropped at what the lady said, sure she looks beautiful and all but I didn’t come here for that.

“Ma’am with all due respect you are attractive but I promise I am not here to court you, I. CAME. HERE.TO.HELP. nothing more nothing less” raising my voice to prevent the misunderstanding from spiraling further.

“ARA… if you want to help you should’ve just said so without going on a segway about fish.”

I have no response to that, it was really my fault.

“Sorry”

“It’s okay young man. My name is Ririka by the way.”

“I’m Shirou, nice to meet you Ririka-san” I held out my hand in a hand shake to which she responded in kind

“Now that the introductions are over, would you mind putting the fish in the kitchen, my bar is starting to smell like the wet market, after that you can start helping around.” I quickly went to the direction she pointed towards.

After I put the fish in the ice box they have, I look around the kitchen with envy. How long has it been since I’ve cooked in a proper kitchen, oh yeah 8 days at most, haaah it feels like forever.

As I was getting out of the kitchen I noticed a little girl walking towards me and when she notices me her eyes widen in surprise and a bit of fear, must be Ririka’s daughter.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” She asks in a shaky voice trying to hide her fear, I raised my hand in a position akin to surrender to make her less wary of me.

“I’m just a guy asked by your mom to help out in cleaning the bar”

She relaxed a bit after I said that I know her mother.

“I see, thank you for helping out mister.”

“No worries about it, when I heard the bounty hunter caused trouble here I came to help out as much as I can” smiling towards the little girl to show my friendliness, it was to my complete surprise however that she began shouting at me.

“NOOO… IT WAS NOT GREEN HAIRED-NIISANS FAULT. IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT HELMEPPO.”

“Calm down, calm down, I’m so sorry for saying something that upsets you.”

“Ahhhh… sorry mister.” She embarrassingly looks at the ground.

“Ara… what’s happening here?” Ririka walks towards us with concern in her voice.

“Nothing at all mom, mister here just surprised me that’s all, I did not know we have guests.”

“I’m sorry Shirou-san I haven’t introduced you to my daughter Rika yet, Rika this is Shirou-san he came here to help clean the place up, Shirou-san this is my daughter Rika.”

“Nice to meet you Rika-chan I came here to help out, uhm what were you saying about the green haired-niisan and Helmeppo being an idiot.”

“RIKA, what did I tell you about speaking bad things about Helmeppo if the marines hear you they might hurt you.”

Huh this exchange is confusing the heck out of me it seems like I’m missing something important, well I should just ask then.

“Ano… I don’t know about this Helmeppo person but isn’t the name of the person who messed up your bar Roronoa Zoro the bounty hunter.”

“No… green haired-niisan didn’t do it he just protected me from the idiot Helmeppo’s pet wolf…” a pet wolf, really even in my world no sane person would ever try to domesticate a wolf and I can only imagine the wolves living in this world where prana is abundant in the air.

“…when it tried to attack me so green haired-niisan has no choice but to kill it”

“So let me get this straight the damage to the bar and the smell of blood is from a loose pet wolf of this Helmeppo person which Roronoa-san most likely killed to protect you.”

Rika nodded just nodded her head while her mother just disapprovingly shook hers.

“Then we should tell the Marines that they caught the wrong person and report this Helmeppo person so Roronoa-san can be released.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible Shirou-san”

“Why not Ririka-san if we explain it properly they should understand that Zoro-san did nothing wrong and the Helmeppo person should be the one to be punished.”

“It seems you’re not from here Shirou-san so you don’t understand our position. Helmeppo is not just anyone around here he is the son of Captain Axe Morgan the person currently in charge of this town’s marine branch and the ruling power around this parts. Even if we did report it to the marines they would do nothing about it. In fact when Helmeppo barged in to our bar followed by his pet wolf he was escorted by the very same marines that arrested Roronoa-san”

“But… But… THAT’S NOT RIGHT. They are the marines they should uphold the law and protect justice not abuse it.” I grit my teeth in anger as the reality of the situation dawned on me.

So much for my plan in enlisting in the marines. I should have expected it, in any organization as big as theirs corruption is inevitable, but to brazenly do it without worrying about the consequences is just sickening, to imagine how deep the corruption goes is worrying. No wonder even after 20 years the Great Pirate age is still in full swing the incompetence of the marines is mind boggling.

“WHY… Why doesn’t someone report something to the other branches or the headquarters?”

“We did try Shirou-san, the former mayor tried to get in contact with others but it was hopeless, the letters are being monitored by Captain Morgan himself and anyone who questions his authority is Executed, some tried to travel to other islands to ask for help but the only vessels available to us civilians are dinghy’s and fishing boats that wouldn’t last long in the open seas and even if it did it can’t contain enough food to reach the nearest ones, the only one that can travel for trade are the merchants in Morgan’s pocket, and when the annual inspection of the outpost comes the inspector is bribed by Morgan so no report about his corruption ever reaches the ears of others.”

This, this is far worse than I expected. I have to do something , anything, I can’t just let an innocent man suffer because of blatant nepotism and corruption.

“Shirou-san where are you going?”

“I’m going to plan how to break Roronoa-san out of the base.”

“Please don’t do that Shirou-san.”

“Why not Ririka-san?” I asked her with a little anger in my voice.

“Because green haired-niisan can escape if he wanted too” Rika said in a soft weak voice.

“Huh, what do you mean?” I turned towards Rika.

“When the bad guys tried to arrest him he fought them off without killing anyone and just threatened them but Helmeppo said that he would execute me and mom if he escape, and green haired-niisan does not want to be a bad guy so he made a deal with Helmeppo that if he survived a month tied to the post he will go free and me and mom won’t be executed.”

Shit, shit, shit so that’s the big picture if I saved him Zoro-san then I’ll be sentencing Ririka and Rika to the gallows. Damn it. I hate this, I hate being so weak that I can’t do anything.

“I know how it feels Shirou-san, the shame of being so weak that you can’t do anything, so weak that you have to rely on another person, a stranger at that to save your daughter’s life. The only thing I can do is pray that he survives the following month.”

I know deep within that it is impossible for him to survive a month in there with no food or water but I can’t help but admire his tenacity to accept such a deal, if Illya-nee were here he would undoubtedly say that it was a bone head move only the brain of Shirou Emiya can think of.

I can’t help but feel respect towards the idiotic bounty hunter and at the same time utterly frustrated, if this was how Illya-nee, Rin, and Arthuria felt whenever I had one of my bright ideas then I admit they are completely within their right to berate me in my stupidity.

Even with the grimness of the situation I can’t help but sport a slight grin in finding a kindred spirit in all of this. If only there is a way to meet him. Wait a minute; I just need to meet him.

If the deal was for him to survive for a month tied up to that post then I just need to make sure he does survive.

“Ririka-san can I request to borrow your kitchen after we’re done cleaning the place up?”

“Of course Shirou-san, For what exactly?”

“To cook a meal of course.”

{[(I am a line break; I have been working 24/7/365, Dear employer I demand a raise.)]}

Well that was certainly a long day of cleaning and fixing stuff not that I can complain I was finally able to cook in a proper kitchen after a long while.

I kept thinking about what I was gonna do now regarding the bounty hunter named Roronoa Zoro.

Roronoa Zoro something about his name sound vaguely familiar.

Roronoa Zoro… Roronoa Zoro… Roronoa Zoro… Rolonoa Zoro… Lolonoa Zoro… Lolonoa Zoro

That’s it Lolonoa, I know we Japanese butchers our L’s and R’s at time but even then this is just ridiculous, now I know where I heard it from Lolonoa the pronunciation for l’Olannais as in Francois l’Olannais a famous buccaneer well known for his use of swords in torture and his sacking of a town defended by a fortress that was reputed to be nigh impregnable.

Well considering the characters they exhibited I guess the names are just coincidences or maybe he is this world’s counterpart. Well learning about it doesn’t really change much, he’s still an innocent man that walked the noble path of saving others. Hmmm maybe being a bounty hunter wasn’t so bad after all.

When I decided to infiltrate the marine base I expected myself to have a few close calls or experience nerve wracking stealth and concealment operation or maybe knockout a few guards to accomplish my mission.

The reality however was underwhelming, do they even have a sense of security here. What kind of root-forsaken idiot leaves an outpost like this without defenses, no patrols, no guards, no night-watch, no warning systems, it makes me feel like an idiot being nervous breaking in.

Even Rika could infiltrate this base all she needs is a ladder to go over the fence and viola she’s in.

Really what kind of idiot is the man in charge here, they ought to make him pay back his salary, well what can you expect from a corrupt idiot motivated by ego rather than duty.

These building may don the flag of the marines but this is no marine base its just a decoration, a flagpole used to flaunt power but in truth contains no substance that constitutes or even resembles any modicum of strength

Really, just really no wonder pirate fills every corner of this world’s seas now a day.

I just climb up a fence and casually strolled towards the prisoner where all the supposedly guardians of justice are off taking their beauty sleep.

“Who are you? Get out of here before anyone could see you.” He called out to me even before reaching 3 meters from him.

Quite impressive considering I muffled my steps and approached from his blindside.

“Just a concerned citizen that wants to help.” As I continued walking towards him

“Don’t need it. Get lost before you get hurt.” I then came face to face with him and even with the dim light from the marine outpost I can see that the person in front to me is young, far younger than I expected him to be.

Don’t get me wrong I know that looks and age doesn’t really necessarily equate to strength, Arthuria can certainly kick my ass seven ways to Sunday while looking like a cute 15 year old, but when I imagined meeting the most fearsome bounty hunter in this part of the world I never imagine coming face to face with a young man 2 to 4 years older than me.

“Stop gawking you bastard. Just do what you gotta do and leave me alone.”

“Sorry about that I didn’t expect you to be so young after all.”

“Hmph… look who’s talking you look a lot younger than me. Now you’re here and I’m here just do what you gotta do and leave me the fuck alone.”

“huh? What do you mean what I gotta do?”

“Don’t play dumb with me asshole these is what you weaklings do after all.”

“I’m a little confused here Pirate Hunter-san do you want me to do something. OH. I know, do you want me to help you escape?”

“HELL NO. I told that butt-chinned dick-head that I can survive a month here, then I will damn well survive.”

“Oy don’t raise your voice like that, it’s the middle of the night have some consideration for the sleeping marines after all they must be quite tired guarding you.” My voice dripping with sarcasm

“As if they need to guard me, I gave them my word after all I ain’t escaping until I fulfilled my promise. So are you done with the questions?”

“uhm. There’s one more thing. What do you expect me to do here?.”

“Isn’t it obvious what you came here to do, you’re a punk ass bastard whose got no balls playing a dare game with your friends trying to prove you’ve got a pair. So whatcha gonna do to prove them wrong, gonna kick me in the balls, spit at my face, punch me in the gut, it’s the dealers choice right now pick one or pick all I don’t give a damn, cause that’s what weaklings are in the end, taking advantage when you know others can’t fight back.” I sweat dropped at the stupidity of his statement is he some who doesn’t think that anything good happens in his life, what a pessimist.

As I finished that train of thought it felt like I just kicked myself in the ass for some reason.

“Sorry to disappoint, I’m not here for something that exciting I’m just here to feed you food after all.”

“GO A-W-A-Y. I don’t need your fucking pity.”

“Could you lower your voice man it won’t look good if I get caught here, it’s a fucking embarrassment just to be caught in a base with no fucking defenses after all.”

“If you don’t wanna get caught then don’t fucking go here. I said I’d survive for a month here tied to this post and I won’t let you fucking ruin my word of honor.”

“Well technically you’re still tied in the post and he never really said you can’t eat or drink. Did they?”

“Well that’s not the point it’s a matter of pride, I don’t need your pity to survive.”

“Its not pity you hard headed idiot…” I know this is quite a hypocritical statement coming from me but this idiot is slowly getting on my nerves, sheesh if this is what its like dealing with me then I need to grovel and apologize to everyone in my life starting with Rin and Illya-nee. “… consider it as thanks for saving the little girl at the bar, Rika”

That stunned him in silence a bit and took a look at the lunch box I’m holding, well it’s technically a dinner box considering the time but oh well.

“I don’t need thanks. I just did what I did because the mutt was disturbing my lunch, now that we clear, you don’t have to do anything like that. They owe me nothing and I don’t want to owe you anything”

Why do I always need to deal with a prideful egotistical narcissist?

“Considering you did all those things for your own selfishness then you can’t say anything about me doing something for my own selfishness.” A walk towards him and opened the packed dinner I prepared

“I told you that I only did it because the mutt was bothering me.”

“Well I only do this because its feels good feeding people so how is that any different from yours.”

He looked at me in silence for a minute and gave a smug grin.

“Well I don’t want to criticize the fetish that gets you off but if you can just leave me out of it I’ll be fine and all.”

Okay that’s it did this asshole just insinuate something lewd about my love for cooking.

“At least what I do doesn’t get me bound in ropes and be made a display as an exhibit for all to see, or maybe that is what you’re really going for, well my friend I won’t judge whatever floats your boat or maybe in this case raises your anchor.” I channeled my inner archer to make the statement drip with vile sarcasm from beginning to end.

I was filled with victorious glee as I see my opponent in this duel of words sport a bulging vein in his forehead.

“See here you--hmphhh” I shoved a spoonful of fish in his mouth before finishing the sentence.

After tasting the dish I cooked he stopped talking and as if an intense battle of will and desire was unfolding inside his mind and everything in the world stopped for a moment, what he did next sent me into a frenzy of unholy rage.

That bastard, that whore of a mother animal fucking gangbanged son of a hundred beast bastard dare spit out the first dish I cooked in a week.

Even before the tied up bastard could’ve even gloat over my ticked of reaction I lunged towards him clenching his jaw trying to pry it open and failing miserably.

“What kind of fucking jaw muscles do you have you root-damned bastard?”

“Muscles a weakling like you can never have” the gloating smug son of a whore just keep grinding on my nerves. Time for plan b I suppose, I pinched his nose trying to make him breathe through his mouth.

“If I clench my teeth like this while I open my mouth to breath, makes it impossible for you to feed me anything.” That’s the final straw this bastard is going down, I’m done playing nice.

I did a karate chop directly into his Adam’s apple to loosen the grit in his teeth, then I shoved a huge chunk of fish, bones and all into his mouth, and before he can even think about spitting it again I hammered my fist directly in his chest to force a gag reflex making him swallow the whole thing without chewing.

I was quite happy and satisfied in how things turned out, helping people in trouble really is the greatest piece of happiness a man can find in this ever changing world, especially if said kindness was done towards people who also gave the said kindness to others.

I was certainly not happy because of how Roronoa-san face turned from a pale sickly green to suffocated purple, I was happy because he could finally enjoy a sumptuous meal considering he has not been fed all day.

I was certainly not happy on how he pleadingly gazed at the jar of water I brought with me while I purposely slowed down my movements to prolong his agony, NO. I was happy because he can now graciously accept the help I’m offering openly without antagonizing me.

I was certainly not happy on how he was gurgling intelligibly as he was drowning in the water as I held the water jar in a way that the water level both covers his nose and mouth, no sir. I was happy on how he is slowly gaining back the fluids he lost during the day while refilling his reserves for what’s to come tomorrow.

Isn’t helping our fellow man such an enjoyable thing to do?

“Youu…* spits up surplass water*… sadistic son of a …*coughing roughly*… wench…*trying to gurgle out the stuck fishbone in his throat*… What kind conscienceless cur punches someone in the throat?”

“The kind that is forced to deal with thankless and uncooperative assholes that spits out a person’s hard work.”

“Concerned citizen my ass. I bet you’re just a marine in disguise sent to torture me.”

“Believe what you want asshole but I just came here to help you whether you like it or not.”

“Meddlesome bastard.”

“Same to you bandana man, being meddlesome is what got you in here.”

“Hmph… I can get through this with or without you.”

“I’m here to make sure you do whether you like it or not. Oh look at that there are a lot of fishes left it would be such a waste to let it go to waste.”

“Bastard you wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh really I wouldn’t, what would you do then? Escape from them and break your word. As you said right now I am here and you’re there pick one or pick all it’s the dealers choice, would you like to know how many more combination of attack I have, to make you open those pearly whites of yours…” a sadistic gleam appeared in my eyes matched by an equally terrifying smile.

The look of horror on the bounty hunter’s face was priceless beyond all measure of currency.

“…or would you rather cooperate and make these less painful than it is supposed to be.”

“Bastard when I get out of these in a month I’ll make sure every inch of your body will be begging for death.”

“Promises, promises, just shut up and eat already the dish is getting cold.”

After getting the prideful bastard to cooperate with me the process got faster and without the constant antagonizing towards each other it made us more tolerable with each other, though me feeding another guy is really quite awkward for both of us.

“Oy conscienceless cur can I ask you something?”

“What is it thankless asshole?”

“You’re a swordsman aren’t you.”

“Are you asking? Or are you telling?”

“I’m telling, no I’m confirming what I already know.”

“Sorry to say but I’m no swordsman.”

“Don’t lie to me bastard the callouses on your hand when you grabbed my jaw, those were formed from holding a sword, not katana’s but swords nonetheless. So I’m asking you again, are you a swordsman?”

“My answer is still the same, I know a little bit on how to use a sword but I’m no swordsman I’m more of a sword brawler.”

“Hmmm. What’s the difference if you fight with a sword then you might as well be a swordsman?”

“Well first and foremost its teachings and discipline. I was never properly trained on how to use a sword I just stick them with the pointy end and slash with the sharp edge. I didn’t pick up a sword to fight, I was forced to carry them to survive. I never really like fighting you see when I use a sword I used it the service of others, it was always for the sake of others and never myself, and that what separates me from a swordsman, a swordsman sees the sword as a part of themselves an extension of their will, how can I be a swordsman if I have no will of my own.”

“Why don’t you just become one then?”

“Hmmm… Maybe, if I do will you teach me?”

“Nah… too much hustle. Can’t be a master yet, maybe after I fulfilled my dream maybe then.”

“Thank the root, I thought you were going to accept, that was meant to be a joke.”

“Conscienceless cur, what’s your name?*kimi no nawa?*”

“It’s Shirou, Shirou Emiya. Nice to meet you thankless asshole.”

“Fine, fine thanks for the food you praise monger, I’m Zoro by the way, Roronoa Zoro. I’d shake your hand but as you can see they are rather preoccupied in the moment.”

“Well I’d just wait till they aren’t tied up then, I’d best be going now see you again tomorrow l’Olannais.”

“Tsk… don’t change my name like you wish, and go choke on your breakfast Emiya.”

That’s how my first meeting with Roronoa Zoro went. Heading back to my cave I kept thinking on how fast he was able to identify me as a sword wielder. Well more topics for discussion tomorrow I guess.