What secrets lay behind the haunted eyes before me?

She did not look at me, but rather, at the stars above. Silence had reigned for some time, after the ancient master of the Academy had chosen to share with me her confession.

Her eyes closed and with a heavy sigh, she began to speak.

“I was a lonely child,” she said, looking out across the fields. “The parents of the other children didn't want them to play with me. I was trouble, they said, and you know what? They were right. I just wanted a friend, and I got mad when they refused. I was lonely, and hurt, so I lashed out.

“Foolish, I know,” she said with a chuckle, her aged voice rasping a little. She coughed to clear her throat before she continued.

“I remember the night I had the first dream. Or so I believed it to be, at the time. I was in a forest, but it was strange. Shifting shades of blue, a shadowy place, the trees made of dark and cracked crystals. I walked for hours, calling out, crying out, for someone to be my friend. I sat down, giving up, just feeling my heart itself reaching out in loneliness and despair, in desperation to be heard. And then... I heard someone respond.”

A smile stretched the skin of her face at the memory.

“Of course, I woke up then. Dreams are ever so uncooperative, aren't they?” She chuckled again and shifted in her seat.

“I was very young, at the time. About six or seven years old. That'd be about five, in human years. So it made perfect sense to me, that I could find a friend in my dreams. I thought about it the whole day long, and when it was time to sleep again, I rushed to bed, hoping for the dream to return.

“How could it not, when it dominated my every thought? I 'awoke' in the crystalline forest, and I eagerly ran towards where I'd heard the voice the night before. Somehow, I knew what direction it was... such is the nature of dreams. I called out, again and again, and once more, I heard the faint whisper of response.

“I strained to hear her, to imagine what her voice must really sound like, because I was certain it would help me to find her. And, child that I was, I added my own imagination to it, hearing in that faint wisp the girl who wouldn't turn me away. In my mind, I thought of the tone such a girl would have... a kindness and understanding, but as spunky as I was.”

She stroked the furred head on her lap, her touch gentle and affectionate. A purring sound added in with her measured words.

“At the time, I merely thought I was right, and lucky, when I heard that very voice call back to me again. But, once more, my time had elapsed, and I woke. I clung to that voice desperately throughout the day, afraid I might forget it, but when I returned to the crystal forest that night, I heard her call back, exactly as I'd remembered it.

“It was many nights, that I chased her. Many days, that I kept her in my thoughts, calling for her. In my daydreams, envisioning that I'd found her at last. Each night, I grew closer, until finally, one day, it happened.”

The smile that broke out on her face was one that might warm the hearts of the gods themselves. She sighed contentedly.

“There she was, in my mind and heart. I couldn't see her, but I felt her there, and she spoke to me. She couldn't speak my language... and in fact, couldn't technically speak at all... but she was able to share her thoughts with me with perfect clarity, and I could share mine, in turn.

“She was as curious about me as I was about her. She'd never seen anything like me, though she was young, too. I told her that if she stayed in my mind, when I woke up, that I'd show her my world. She was so happy... almost as happy as me.

“When I awoke that morning, I could scarcely believe it was real. I'd found the friend of my dreams, and she was still with me! Only in my mind, perhaps, but at least I had someone to talk to. I ran all around the village, chattering away happily, telling her all about my world. She was endlessly fascinated.

“At night, when I slept, she brought me back to the crystal forest and told me about her world. It was a strange place, where will crafted reality. She tried to explain that her people lacked the ability to manifest will... that they could only exist. Drifting souls, aimless in a sea of magic, surrounded by the powers of creation, and yet unable to influence them. Able to understand, but lacking the ability to imagine.

“It was a hard concept for a child to grasp, and I won't pretend that I succeeded. All I was able to gather was that she could touch my mind and my imagination, and could understand them, enough to become aware of a wonderful, new, and exciting way of life. I'd opened her eyes to a whole new world that she could only experience through my mind, and I realized with awe that maybe, just maybe, I was as dear to her as she was to me.

“I told her my name was Sora, and then had to tell her what a name was. When she realized she could have her very own identity, she begged me for a name, and so I called her Miri. Her very own name... she was so happy. It was the first time she’d ever had anything.

“Since I had given her something of my world, she wanted to give me something of hers. She tried to help teach me how to pull her world into mine, how to bring the stuff of dreams into reality. I worked hard at it, and it was only a few weeks before I managed it. I pulled her world to my eyes, and I saw magic.

“That was the first time I ever saw her, though I couldn't make out any details. She was a glowing wisp of light, hovering in my hands. It was the first time I ever cast a proper spell... though some might argue that summoning her in the first place was actually my beginning. Either way, I had become something more.

“She was my best friend, my only friend, so of course I was fascinated by her home. She was delighted with what I could do, when I mixed my will with her world... with magic. I created light, pretending it was her, and we laughed and played in so many silly ways.

“They came for me then, of course. They presumed I was a sorcerer just discovering my talents, and I suppose in a way, they were mostly right, though I didn't think so at the time. They brought me into the Academy to teach me to control my magic, with well justified fear of what uncontrolled magic could do.

“I was afraid to tell them the truth, that I wasn't really a sorcerer. When they told me magic was dangerous, I was afraid that if they found out about Miri, they'd take her away, for she was my magic. I pretended to be a sorcerer, and they never had reason to doubt me, as I continued to explore the power of her world.

“Some time later, I was twelve years old – about nine or so, in human years. I'd grown skilled with her magic, and was proving to be an adequately talented young 'sorceress.' But I was still afraid. I still had to hold her with my mind, and she had to hold me. Sometimes, I lost her, and had to find her again in my dreams, and part of me was afraid I'd one day lose her forever.

“One morning, after a long search for her, I confessed to her. I told her of my fear, that I wanted her to never leave, that I wanted us to be friends forever. And she was so happy. She said she'd feared the same, that I'd grow tired of her. That she never wanted to lose me.

“She told me that it could be done, if I really wanted. My soul was the same as hers, in essence, and she knew of the ways of her people, where souls could merge, never to be truly separated. That it was done only when two people were truly committed to forever, because as far as she knew, it could never be undone.

“'Like marriage,' I said, and of course, I had to explain what marriage was. She was delighted at our version, and said it was much the same. I smiled and told her to sleep for a day, because I had an idea, and wanted to surprise her.

“I was still young, so very young, and there was still so much I didn't understand, but this, above all else, I was certain of. I found some string, and some polished quartz, and stuck them together with glue to make a pair of rings. I took some white robes from the Academy, a knife, and some more glue, and made myself a wedding dress.

“I went to a glade in the nearby forest, that reminded me of the dark trees of her home, and built a small altar to the gods out of stones from the river. I stood there proudly, as I called on her to awaken.

“'Marry me, Miri,' I said to her then, giggling at the sound of the words. Her happiness swelled in me, and I realized then that she'd been afraid I wasn't serious before. I held my head high, and put on one of the rings, holding the other one out symbolically. I thought, at the time, that she might possess the ring, like the enchantments that wizards made.

“She pressed me again and again, wanting to know that I meant it for sure, that I was really okay with forever. Finally she was satisfied, and said that she would take a part of my soul, and give me a part of hers, in return.

“She came into me, and pulled at my soul then. I could have resisted... and in fact, it felt like it would be easy to resist so faint a touch. But I submitted my heart to her, and the pain was exquisite. Not a terrible pain, no; it was more fundamental than that. And it was not terrible at all.

“Much like losing your virginity,” she said with a laugh. “To lose something painfully, and yet to gain ever so much more in return... that was my pact with Miri. As our souls joined, I felt her world rush into me, my reach into it profoundly strengthened by her soul within mine. She was the focus of my heart, of my will, and so the most amazing thing appeared before me.”

Tears filled her eyes as the memory shook her voice.

“Miri, my Miri, she filled the ring in my hands... and continued to fill it. First, a clawed foot, and then her legs, her body, her face, grinning at me with snow-white fangs. She was exactly as I had imagined her to be, far too grand to be merely humanoid. No, she was from the world of dreams... she was other, entirely.

“Somewhere between the noble wolf of the night moon, and the mighty dragons of legend, she was clothed in shimmering fur, in all the shades of blue of the crystal forest. My Miri, sweet Miri, she had eyes to see, and a body of her very own. I hugged her tightly, and she wrapped a clawed arm about me in return and shed the very first tear of her life. In that moment, we were each profoundly convinced that we had gained the better bargain.”

Her eyes glazed at the memory. Silence reigned for several minutes.

“It sounds incredible,” I said, trying to prod her into continuing. “But you spoke of losing your virginity... you must have gotten to know others, then, at least in later years.”

“My virginity... hmm.” She chuckled slowly, and I saw a hint of blush at her cheeks. She looked at me for another long moment, and then sighed.

“I did try to get to know others, but it was difficult for me, after my pact with Miri. When I slept, I joined her in her crystal forest, and when I was awake, I summoned her to my side. She was still in my mind, profoundly so, and her mind had sharpened so much, with a body to house it. Our relationship grew stronger, and that was the very problem.

“You see, with people, you can only exchange words. It's such a shallow thing, language, isn't it? What I share with Miri is so much more than mere words... it is emotion itself, thought, everything. After a time, we even could share senses, should we so choose, such that I could see out of her eyes, she could feel all that I felt, and so on.

“How can a person compare with that? I did befriend people, but even if they thought we were getting close, they could never be a part of my heart, and so never felt that close at all.”

She paused again and brushed her fingers together uneasily, looking at them intently.

“Miri could feel what I felt,” she said after another long moment. “And she knew when my body had developed needs, needs that grew fairly acute by the time I was about sixteen in human years, twenty years in total. She knew that I yearned for fulfillment, but I never asked. After a time, she finally worked up the courage to ask me why.”

“Why?” I repeated, somewhat confused.

“Why I felt that she could not be the one to help fulfill me,” she said. “At first, I tried to tell her that it simply wasn't that way, that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She didn't understand, and as I continued to try to explain, I said something that made us both pause.

“Miri just looked at me and said, 'Because of what I am, I am not good enough, even if I could succeed.' I felt her pain. I tried to tell her it wasn't true, but that's when I realized she was right – that was what I was saying. The idea that I could be so cruel to the person who mattered most to me... I couldn't bear it, and banished her, crying as I ran to my room.

“It was a few days before I summoned her again, because I needed time to understand what I felt. When she's dismissed, she's sent all the way back home, and I can only just feel her. I only knew that she was hurting, but I still needed time.

“This was years since she had been granted physical form, and by this point, I'd discovered much about how the process worked. Her body was quite truly a manifestation of my imagination – my envisioning of her, and the form was locked into place for so long as our souls held together in the same way.

“But people change, and with that change, the souls shift, too. I'd long since discovered that, as I grew in my skill, as I embraced my bond with her, the pact with her would shift. With that shift, her body would change, according to the increased rush of power, and my refined vision, honed by time. Such change is rare, and it had only happened twice before.”

She took a deep breath, and looked down at her hands again.

“It was a difficult thing,” she admitted. “Facing that... thought. But I realized that she was right, that she was as worthy of love as any man. When I accepted that, I realized what I'd already known all along... I loved her.

“I opened my heart to that love, and felt my soul shift again, with a rush of power, as it had always brought. I let that rush bring her before me again. Her body had changed, in ways I hadn't quite anticipated. She was more muscular, her fur a midnight blue, and her body more obviously predatory. She was so very other, and that otherness was heightened by my awareness of the nature of the choice I had made. And, while she was still female to me, her voice still the same as it had always been, her body was now very clearly male.

“I stood naked before her, in body, mind, and soul. I couldn't find the words, either to confess or beg forgiveness, so I let her see the whole of me, for her to decide.”

She stroked the soft fur on her lap again, smiling down at the mighty beast of magic.

“At first, she felt the hurt that had haunted her those long days and nights. And then, as she realized what I felt, what I had chosen, it shifted into astonishment, and finally, she opened her mind to me, and I saw she loved me the same. That she always had.

“She pounced me, and pressed me into my bed, coming into me with a fervor of passionate joy. It hurt, of course, but as the pact had hurt... I felt such fulfillment, that I had gained ever so much more than I had lost.”

She sighed. “It wasn't about the sex. I know what you must be thinking... I ran into that so many times. Trust me, I know well how closely tied summoning is to blue magic, the magic of sex.

“But it had nothing to do with that,” she said, and she sounded exasperated, as though she were reliving arguments long ago fought. “I'm no pervert, I haven't created a sex slave, I'm not actually into animals. Or females, for that matter.

“What we shared was a simple love, that wasn't sexual in the least. It was merely more complete than it once had been. We shared food together, we shared laughter and play, and that night, we shared in the pleasure of sex. She had need of none of it... not food, not sex, not anything, and yet she was able to share in the pleasures of these things anyway. And she was glad that she could.

“Years continued to pass, and our bond continued to grow. I kept thinking that we were as close as two beings could possibly be, and yet, each time it changed, I marveled at how naive I had been. I thought I loved her then, and I suppose I did, to the extent my young heart could comprehend.

“Our relationship wasn't perfect, either,” she said with a laugh. “We kept up a front... a fine front!... that I was the master, and she, the mindless slave. I still feared that the Academy would be too interested in what she was, so we always pretended she was just a construct, but the simple truth is, she was her own person, and sometimes we disagreed.”

She smiled as a happy memory took her, and her voice was wistful as she spoke.

“She wanted to see the world from above, and I was afraid. I'd always been afraid of heights, but she begged me to envision her with wings, so that the next time I reforged our bond, she could know the sky. I'd long since used her as a mount, and I saw very clearly what she had in mind. And I wanted none of it. On her back, gods know how high, with nothing but air beneath me?”

She shook her head, laughing.

“I told her she was crazy, but she put her foot down. She told me that she ought to have a say, too, that it shouldn't be all my decision. It was my power, and the question was, would I respect her wishes?”

She smiled fondly down at Miri's amused expression.

“How could I say no? I grumbled to myself a little about how summoners of various stripes were theoretically supposed to be in charge, but there was no heart in it. I looked at her, and remembered that first envisioning. The guardian of the realm of dreams, the wolf, merged with the dragon that was, to me, the greatest symbol of magic and strength. I remembered their mighty wings, and imagined her with the power to choose.”

That fond smile turned achingly tender as she softly stroked the fur of Miri’s cheek.

“The power to choose,” she said softly. “How much she has changed, from what she had once been. For all that she’s given me, to know that by our bond, I’ve granted her choice itself…”

Miri lolled her tongue in a surprisingly doglike grin and Sora laughed. She looked back at me like she was momentarily surprised to see me there.

“Ah, yes, my confession,” she said wryly with one last tossle of Miri’s fur. “Where was I?”

A gust of wind from Miri’s wings set Sora to chastising her for “hassling an old woman.”

After a brief moment to fix her silvery hair back into its tight knot, Sora settled down to resume her story, with Miri yawning and laying her head on Sora’s lap again.

“It wasn't immediate, of course,” Sora said, almost absently, her eyes lost to the stars, “The bond took time to forge and temper, barring a particularly powerful spiritual revelation, such as the discovery of love. It was weeks before I was able to extend it again, bringing her deeper into my heart. When the rush of power faded, there she was, stretching her wings with glee.

“And what did she do with it? What else? She immediately insisted that we both go flying.” She laughed. “I was petrified, but I felt her joy, and couldn't refuse. I got on her back, brushed off my sweaty palms, and she leapt into the morning sky.

“And... I wasn't afraid,” she said, her voice wistful. “Somehow, while I was on her back, pressed so close to her, feeling her wings beat beneath me... I discovered that I trusted her absolutely. My trust was ever so much more than the fear.”

She turned a smile to me. “I'm still afraid of heights, believe it or not. Yes, I know, fine master of the Academy I am, eh? It's only when I am with her that I feel no fear, and I love to fly the days away.”

She looked back towards the moon, the silvery light making her aged face look almost ethereal.

“I continued to grow stronger, with my dear Miri, and made my way through the Academy. By the time I was in my thirties, I could well have been anywhere else, of course, but I had a fascination with Outsiders, which my studies had revealed Miri to be. There were so many kinds...”

She patted Miri's head again.

“My professors... well, by then, associates, I suppose... were irritated with my preoccupation with her. They still didn't truly understand her nature, and all believed that she was merely an extension of my will. They did, however, see quite clearly that the vast majority of my magic was tied up in her, convincing them that I'd be ever so much more powerful if I stopped wasting my magic.

“That irritation had begun when I had first bonded with her, first given her form, but they eventually gave it up, taking her to be my obsession, a sign of my eccentricity.

“The boon of my 'obsession,' in their minds, was a profoundly unique understanding of Outsiders, and summoning in general. While my magic in general was lacking, in their opinions, my skill with summoning was that of a prodigy, and I devoted myself to study in a way that few had the passion to achieve.

“But I came to a crossroads, and I confess, I was a coward about it. Part of me wanted to dedicate myself to these studies absolutely, to grow in my magic, and discover what Miri could become. And yet... a part of me yearned for a family. The idea of raising children of my own, to settle down and see them grow...

“I felt it was a choice between my own selfish wishes, and Miri. And I also had to admit, I had no idea who my mate might be. I still had the same problem as I had in my youth – what man could compare to the intimacy I knew with Miri? Any man I sought... and several warmed my bed... either didn't understand our connection, and were irritated at my obsession with a 'pet,' or they did understand. And that was even worse. How could they love me, when I would always love another more? And really, how could I ever truly love them?

“Part of me, deep down, wished it could be Miri that would father my children, though I never confessed it to anyone, even her. Even myself, really. And, I didn't realize it was possible at the time, but...”

She paused and exhaled slowly.

“What I envisioned her to be became reality, in the manner of Outsiders. In the manner of our pact.”

Stunned. The only word that came to me, as I struggled not to gape at her. She didn't look at me.

“It was a long time before I realized what had happened. I thought, perhaps, that I might have gotten some strange illness, because I had the signs of pregnancy, and only Miri as my lover. But when I felt the child kick...”

She paused again, and put her hand to her stomach. Miri made a sound, and lifted her sinuous neck, to nuzzle Sora.

“I didn't know what to do,” she whispered. “I didn't know what I bore within me. Miri didn't know, either, but the manner of her knowledge was...”

She paused again, struggling for words.

“She understood things, she didn't know things, if that makes sense? She had no innate knowledge, only... intuition. So she had no idea what the child was, or could be, but she still... knew... that the child was healthy, and would be okay.

“But, such a creature as that... the mages of Chell lust for power, and there is no greater power than knowledge. And I had become, in those years, the resident expert on Outsiders. The knowledge that they could breed with us was entirely unknown to our people. And that meant, as far as they were concerned, the child should belong to them.”

She sighed and rubbed her belly again.

“I knew I couldn't keep him,” she said, an ancient ache in her voice. “I slipped away, on pretense of personal research, and bore our son. I cared for him for months, alone but for Miri, in a long lost temple to a forgotten god.

“He was no ordinary halfling child. He was a changeling of some kind, his form shifting with his moods. Difficult, and dangerous. I couldn't even recognize him, were we not alone... he became whatever he willed himself to be, and the will of an infant is a capricious thing. He could never pass as a normal person. He could never even be hidden nearby.

“I agonized over my options for what felt like an eternity. I couldn't just disappear forever... I was a known, and powerful, magic user. The Academy would come looking. And they would find me. They would find me, and they would find the child, and everything would be revealed. What would they do with Miri? What would they do with my son? If they found us, I would lose them both, and I couldn't accept that.”

She sighed.

“Miri struggled to understand, and it pained me to explain. Still, she was, in her own way, as much a part of the Academy as I. She knew the sorts of things that were done behind closed doors, when the mages had hopes of new power. When I finally found the right way to explain the circumstance - that they were not my friends, that I was nothing but an asset of power - she understood, and her howls of rage could wake a sleeping god.”

Her eyes closed, a gray tone appearing in her skin at the memories. Miri shuddered against her.

“So Miri understood. I understood. I had to lose my son... there was no other way. But what to do with him? I could hardly give him to a Temple. His nature was too obviously bizarre, and would bring up questions that I couldn't answer. I could possibly run away from Chell, but that was a temporary fix, at best – the bounty hunters were far too good at what they did.

“No matter how I tossed and turned, no matter how loudly I screamed, I could think of no solution. And then, my time ran out.”

She closed her eyes, and tears ran down the lines on her cheeks.

“A Sending came for me,” she whispered. “A message saying that I was needed immediately, at my earliest convenience, to address an experiment with summoning gone awry. I could come up with no excuse. I could come up with no delay. Miri wept with me that day, and I hugged her close. She could think of no better solution, either.”

Miri whimpered, pressing her face into Sora's belly, as tears dripped onto her head.

“What else could I do?” she whispered again. “Their divination spells could find me, no matter where I ran. I could not run, I could not hide, I could not give him to anyone, and I knew full well what they were capable of. What they would do. I didn’t know then, what I know now. I didn’t have access to other forces that might aid me. Miri and I were alone, against a force that could crush us in any of a thousand ways.

“So I had to choose between losing my son, or losing them both. It was impossible. I screamed, I writhed, I begged the gods for an alternative. But in the end, I chose to lose my son.” She swallowed. “I couldn't make Miri do it. I…”

Her voice cut off, face twisted in pain. Blue fur showed past white knuckles as Sora took a ragged breath. She forced herself to speak, her words almost formal in their rigidity, barely audible through clenched jaw.

“I cast a spell,” she said, “I cast a spell on my son, and he stopped breathing.”

We were all three silent for a very long moment.

“We went back to the Academy after that,” she said, her voice subdued. “I... made a stop by an old friend. I told him I'd had a stillborn child, and never wanting to face that again, I wanted to be made forever sterile. He tried to convince me otherwise, but I refused to budge, and finally, he did me the favor that I asked.

“That decision that had tugged at me before had been put to rest, so I felt. So I told myself. But there was still an ache that could never be eased. A void to fill. All I had to fill it with was research and my love of Miri, and so my power grew.”

She shifted in her seat, and I could see on her face that a new arc to her story had begun. Miri’s head settled back into her lap, pressing into Sora’s belly as her hand reached to scratch Miri’s ears almost unconsciously. A purring sound provided a pleasant backdrop to Sora’s speech.

“Years passed, till a day came, thirty five years ago,” she said, her voice almost formally clipped. “A man, the head of the department of conjuration, whose name shall remain unsaid, wished to begin a new experiment.”

She sighed. “This was all normal. We do experiments all the time. It's what we do. And he was in charge of the entire division. I was the finest summoner, but there's more to conjuration than just Outsiders, and he was my better. Yet, this experiment involved my expertise.

“You see, most of conjuration is inanimate things. Food, for instance. A useful resource, but of no ability to expand on itself. And most of summoning is things of lesser intelligence, such as rats or horses. They were good for labor and the like, but not much else.

“But there was a category... well, two, technically... of outsider that is above and beyond the realm of our power. They could be summoned by us, but they were of full intelligence, and could, in some cases, even wield magic beyond our ken.”

She smiled, looking back at me for the first time in a long stretch.

“Celestials?” I guessed. A fair guess, considering the original topic of our conversation.

“And fiends,” she said, nodding. “We worked with both. We were trying to find a way of harnessing their magic. A new order of magic users, if you will, under the control of Chell. We tried for months, but it was a complete failure.

“The fiends were entirely willing to cooperate, but they were... ah, unwilling to accept what we considered acceptable arrangements. Their cost was too high, for what they gave, especially since they delighted in using loopholes to betray us.

“And the celestials were even worse. They, as a rule, refused to cooperate at all, with exception to such things as healing magic. But what good was that? We already had ample healing magic.

“What we wanted was something they couldn't provide. They were, one and all, fundamentally attached to their native planes. The same is true of Miri, too – if I so much as sleep, she's back home, on the plane of magic. They may have had a curiosity about our world, in various ways, but fundamentally, they could not be relied on to be dedicated to it.”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

She half smiled to herself, but it was a reflex reaction, to cover something else entirely.

“What they wanted was someone with the power of an Outsider, yet born of our world. And... I happened to know a way such a creature could be created.”

Silence reigned between us for another long moment, and I could think of nothing to say.

She exhaled again. “I wanted to make up for what happened with my son. For him to... well, not live again, but to... create life, in atonement for the destruction I had caused. I found a way to innocuously suggest it to that man. At first, he was incredulous, but when he mentioned it to our bound fiends, they laughed, and said that such children had been born before. The celestials, of course, refused to comment. They were suspicious of our motives, and rightly so.

“The succubi were ill inclined to bear children, and so demanded a high price, but the males were absolutely delighted with the idea. They still demanded a cost, but were easy to negotiate with. Half a dozen women were taken from the cities, the undesirables,” she cringed a little, “And were given to the fiends for their pleasure.

“The celestials, however, could not be persuaded by any means we could think of. So, we thought we'd see how the fiend children turned out.”

She shuddered.

“They were monsters,” she said, gripping Miri's fur, as if for protection from the memory. “The women were, one and all, agonized in their pregnancies, and their labors were brutal. The babies clawed their way out of their mothers' wombs, and one of them even grabbed and consumed his mother's heart. Not a single mother survived, even with use of considerable healing magic. It was as though the children brought with them an aura of death, that shielded their mothers from life.

“They did, however, seem to have the power that was desired. But it was very quickly apparent that they inherited the personalities of their fathers. And, if they were like the fiends, they could not be controlled. It was with very mixed feelings that we killed them all.”

She paused, and that reflex smile covered her face again.

“By 'we,' of course, I mean 'I.' Well, Miri. That man was in charge of the project as a whole, but we were solidly in my expertise, so in application, the project was entirely mine. That said, Miri was… less than fond of these experiments. She’s never had much of a mind for understanding politics or leadership, so the idea that it was impossible to safely refuse these orders was… challenging for her. But, still, I managed to persuade her.”

She looked down at her hands.

“And then, the order came, that started it all. The first order that my heart told me I should not obey. But... I didn't think I had a choice, not really, and so I did. I enhanced the primary summoning circle, as requested, with the aid of numerous schools of magic.

“We'd already tried every gambit we could think of with celestials. They could not be persuaded. And such was the nature of biology, the male portion was less able to be forced.

“You see, Outsiders are, in essence, crafted as a manifestation of will. Miri is composed of magic itself, and it is the nature of magic that it does not possess its own will - though it can gain that property, if bound and blended with the will of another, such as mortals. Celestials and fiends, however, form themselves according to their own wills... which are, in a sense, a construct of their planes of origin.

“It's complicated,” she said, with a dismissive gesture. “The point is, Outsiders are only fertile if they are willed to be, like Miri was. If a male were broken entirely, he couldn't complete his physical portion. A female, however...”

She sighed.

“And thus, we summoned her. I... didn't learn her name, for a long time. Naristi. She was lovely, like you couldn't imagine. Kind. Loyal. Even forgiving. More forgiving than we deserved.

“The enchantments on her circle prevented even the faintest contact with her plane of origin. She couldn't so much as feel the presence of her people. She was absolutely, utterly, and completely alone... something that no Outsider ever naturally is. And she was told that she would be freed as soon as she bore a child.

“Of course she didn't believe us. And with reason. She was raped daily, to give her frequent opportunity to surrender, by that man, and she was laid into with the utmost mind magics and tortures the Academy was capable of. I... managed to get out of those duties.

“Miri despised this experiment like none other we had so much as heard of. Naristi’s loneliness was something that Miri could scarcely witness, and while she never left my side, she did frequently comply with our orders by only the barest technicality. Torture, rape, forced isolation of an Outsider… of all we had seen, nothing struck her quite so close to home.”

This time, it was Miri who shuddered at the memory, a plaintive sound coming out as she squeezed her wings tightly closed. Sora shushed her softly before continuing her story, though she would not take her eyes from Miri as she spoke.

“Of course, to even speak of such concerns is a criticism of Lord Theonor, and his Circle.” Her voice was brittle from the strain and frost with which she spoke. “Perhaps I was a coward, to stay silent, but how well I knew the consequence of defying Lord Theonor, even by proxy. Such is the nature of the ‘undesirables,’ “ she cringed again, “that we used for the fiend experiments, after all, and I would sooner beg Miri to tear out my throat than risk that. Not that doing otherwise could accomplish anything, so I thought.”

Sighing heavily, she rubbed her eyes. Withdrawn, refusing to look at anyone but Miri… I realized she was delaying. For all that she’d confessed, what could cause her to hesitate so?

I didn’t push, and after a few breaths, she spoke again.

“Despite the force brought against her, even with all those compulsion magics, Naristi managed to last a full ten months. By then, I was ill with guilt, and Miri half mad, but we saw no way out. She surrendered, her mind and will broken, and to stop the pain, she became pregnant with that man's child.

“Her tortures immediately stopped, of course. She was given every luxury, but it was too late for her. For a celestial to actually surrender...”

She closed her eyes and I saw tears forming there again.

“At this point, it was back in my realm of expertise, so she became my responsibility. I cared for her, as much as I could, and even practically neglected Miri. Not that she minded, of course – she knew, better than anyone else could, how I felt.

“Nine months later, Naristi went into labor. I could barely tell she had begun... it was as peaceful as the half fiend births were brutal. I helped her, in the manner of a midwife, and there, in my hands, was the second half Outsider I had ever held.”

Tears streamed down her face as she spoke, frail hands clutched against her chest as if holding the child in memory once more.

“And oh, that child… she was beautiful. She was every bit as beautiful as my own son had been, but even more of a miracle. The very first thing she did, as she came into the world, was not to cry. She looked at me, smiled... and laughed. I never heard my son laugh. As I held this precious, winged child to my chest, with Miri wrapped around me, I wept for all that had been lost, and all that would be lost.

“Naristi spoke, in that beautiful moment, her first words since her torture had begun. ‘My daughter,’ she said, yet she spoke to me, smiling as if I were not despicable for what I had done. 'Her name shall be Iona, and she is born with my love.'

“Such grace…” Sora said in a muted whisper, shaking her head in wonder, “She looked at that child with complete adoration, as if utterly unconcerned about the details of her conception.”

Tears flowed so quickly down Sora’s face that, for all that she tried, she could not keep pace. Miri whimpered lightly, a sound of sympathy, pressing against Sora’s neck.

“I had my orders,” Sora said, her eyes still closed. “I still felt I had no choice at all. But... I couldn't just... so I told her. I told Naristi what my orders were. And do you know what she said to me?”

She looked at me. Her eyes begged me to understand the agony within, yet all I could know was hope that no one would ever be able to see such pain at that in my own eyes.

“Naristi said to me, 'I forgive you. I forgive you, Sora, and all I ask is that my daughter understands love.' ”

Her gaze wrenched from me as she broke into sobs, weeping into Miri’s fur. She struggled to regain her composure, so she could continue her confession.

“I let her hold Iona once... just once... before I ordered Miri to kill her. She was beyond the scope of my spells, even so weakened as she was. Miri understood why it needed to be done. And Iona... she had no idea. She just continued to smile up at me, as her mother's corpse cooled on the floor.”

Her gaze turned to the heavens, as if begging forgiveness once again. Her eyes closed and tears dripped down her face for several minutes. She exhaled slowly, and then continued.

“It was her bloodline that was desired, and we thought it would be simplest if we made the child blend in. We put her to sleep, and surgically removed her wings, with great care to ensure her back would heal with minimal scarring. The hope was to integrate her. It was such effort to breed even one, that it was thought, perhaps, just breeding the half-breed would suffice.

“Since I was the resident expert, and willing, I took Iona into my home, privately. I sought a spell of lactation, and nursed her as if she were my own. I loved her, as no one living could love her, for she was my child. For fear of the greed of power, I had lost my son, and for fear of retribution, she had lost her mother, and all of it, every last bit, was my fault. I had created her, as surely as I had created my son.

“She was marvelous. The half fiends had been terrors every step of the way, evil in their every breath. My son had been... uniquely challenging. Not evil, but powerful, and less than eminently concerned with my welfare, which made for a discomforting combination.

“But Iona... from the first day, I felt as though she loved me. And how I loved her in turn. I made sure she knew it, despite the crimes I had committed against her.”

She sighed heavily.

“I knew what they wanted to do to her. But I also knew that they were wanting to play it safe. I had time. I’d resolved myself to finding some way of protecting her. To find some way out.

“But I admit, at first, I didn’t want to get involved in morbid plans, didn’t want to think about the ‘lesser evils’ I would have to face. I’d faced, and done, far too many evils, and deep down, I desperately needed to rest. I just wanted to be a mother to this amazing little girl. Just wanted to love her with all my heart.

“It was a bit of time before the crux came upon me… but very little. Two years. That's all.” She shook her head, as if still disbelieving. “I was taking her on a walk through the forest, and we ran into a fox, nursing a wounded leg. What did she do, but pull from my grasp, and run to that fox! I was so startled, I was slow to cast a spell, since I didn't know if I was going to need a spell of healing for her, or to attack the damned fox.

“But I needed neither. She walked right up to him, and he growled at her menacingly. She grinned so brightly at him, you'd swear you could see her wings come back. Then I wondered if perhaps they were, as the colours around us began to shift in strange ways.

“Not even a second passed from the moment that serene expression crossed her face, till the wash of heightened colour bathed everything around us in a haze of golden light. Wilting plants straightened, my fatigue faded, and the gash in the fox’s leg fell in upon itself, healing without a trace.

“The fox bounded off into the woods and Iona just grinned up at me, looking as if she’d been caught.

“I asked her how she did that, and she was surprised. She said she'd 'always known,' and was startled to discover that I couldn't. Only those blessed of the gods can do such a thing...”

Her blue eyes shone as another smile lit her face.

“I didn't feel I had a choice, yet again. I had to tell that man what she'd done... it was the whole of my job, after all. Though, I didn’t think it would go badly. I thought he'd say that it was excellent, I could continue to raise her, since I was doing so well, blah blah... well, I was wrong. He decided that the experiment was such a success, we should do it again, and start fresh with another celestial.”

She chuckled, and I was startled at the depth of darkness in the sound.

“Finally... of all the things, this was finally the point that pushed me too far. I began to lie. Well, about more than just Miri. I invented reasons to delay, and I sought out that which I'd discovered in whispers, in the depths of the secrets hidden by the magics of the Academy.

“I didn’t care anymore about the personal cost. No matter what the consequences for Miri and I, we had to do something. It had gone too far. And Iona... she deserved freedom from the Academy’s greed.

“And so, I contacted them. For you see, despite all declaration to the contrary, there is an assassin’s guild here in Chell.”

“What?” I said, stunned. But...

She put a finger to her lips. “Hush hush. Secret for a reason. But I contacted them, and made... arrangements.

“Miri helped me in the planning. By this point, I'd learned a spell to temporarily revoke our bond, just enough that she reformed according to my new envisioning, allowing me to change her form and the nature of her powers with ease. So she made an extraordinarily good spy, and that's what I had her do.

“I took months in planning, with the aid of the assassins. And then I wove a careful trap.”

She smiled, and once again, there was a surprising amount of darkness therein.

“I told that man that I'd made a new discovery. That I'd discovered a way to summon a fully sentient Outsider... of enchantment. The school of mind magic. Now, I'm not sure if you realize just how much Chell depends on mind magics, but let's just say it got his attention in a hurry.

“Then, I pulled the strings of their persons, ever so carefully. I told him that it would take oh so very long to do so safely, because all I'd managed was to find the beast in the outer planes, and while I could find him again, it was beyond anything our Academy was capable of to actually summon him. What a shame, hmm?”

Another dark laugh.

“Under my expert and careful influence, I managed to get the entire upper department of conjuration, including every single person in Chell well studied of Outsiders, all in one room together. Again, this took months of planning, and then a year to actually lay the trap. By this point, Iona was four years old, and I'd distracted that man with the allure of something far more useful than a half celestial, so those plans were entirely set aside.

“The assassin's guild mostly belongs to the government, but there's a small branch that deals in private affairs. Less of a branch, really, than a well connected handful of individuals. The elven woman I worked with was brilliant, and could have been a ranking member of the Academy, had it not been for her own... well, disagreements. I sympathized with her more than I might have once guessed.

“But she was a wizard, and quite a good one, especially in conjunction with her other... talents. And I needed something far more than just a poisoned dagger, for something like this.

“On that fateful day, she was teleported to the room, shrouded in perfect invisibility. The room was sealed off, layered with protection magics that I'd helped craft... protections that had a very specific flaw. An escape route, I'd told them, so we could teleport out in case of emergency, but still dimensionally locked against those who didn't know the key.”

She smiled, clearly pleased with herself.

“The layers and layers of that plan... Jennai, the assassin, opened my eyes to a new world of deception and layers of thought. I learned quite a bit, merely by interacting with her, skills that proved very useful in the years following.

“Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself. So, she teleported in, armed to the teeth with precisely what she needed, in a room that could not be accessed or left by any means but summoning or a specially prepared teleportation spell, that was also warded against any type of divination. And then... from a scroll, she cast an anti-magic field.”

Another pleased chuckle hung on the air.

“Do you have any idea how useless spellcasters are against a combination of an unexpected anti-magic field and paralytic poison? The anti-magic field alone made almost everyone worthless immediately, since they couldn't get out of the range of the spell, and what few people were capable in physical endeavors were quickly incapacitated by the massive explosion of poisoned needles, immediately followed by Jennai's associates.

“I was inside the room, of course, but I'd taken a prepared anti-toxin, so the poison didn't freeze my organs. Miri was banished by the anti-magic field, leaving me as absolutely helpless as the rest, but they followed our contract, and the whole room was quickly and efficiently slain. Such was the nature of the investigation that would naturally follow, they were slain in such a way that not a single drop of blood was spilled. Even the needles were hair thin, magical constructs, not enough to actually cause bleeding.

“Then they used their mind magic on me, as agreed. After the corpses were prepared for the investigation, Jennai banished the anti-magic field, and I made my tearful farewells to Miri. My mind was pulled from my body and put in a little orb for safekeeping, taking all of my memories with it. My semi-functional body was then animated by a specialized type of necromancy, and a single memory was implanted within.

“So, to the rest of the Academy, all they knew was this massive, supremely dangerous experiment was taking place, and then emerged a single, broken spellcaster. The last of them all, the only one to survive, and at that, barely. The other me babbled about how the beast they'd summoned broke free, just as I had warned everyone who would listen, and then ripped out the minds and souls of everyone there.

“She said the only reason she survived was because of Miri. That the connection to her mind was such that she was able to possess Miri, and come back, after the damage was done, but she only had the faintest fragments of memory.

“Now, I'm telling you this in a way that sounds coherent, but that ‘me’ was very much not. It took them days to get that much detail, and the other ‘me’ was subject to extreme scrutiny. They found that she'd been subjected to a powerful mind magic that did, in fact, take her mind away, leaving only these scattered memories.”

A grin lit up her face, and she radiated smugness.

“I killed thirty of the finest mages in the Academy. I wiped out an entire division of knowledge, removing all knowledge of the nature of sentient Outsiders, from the entire nation. That man was even one of Lord Theonor's personal Circle. I, in so doing, made myself the single incontestable master of all of conjuration, despite my lack of broader skill, and at what cost? A month of incoherence.

“The assassins quietly added more memories into the mind of my body over the month, to give the impression that I was 'recovering.' And then, at the end of the month, I was returned to my body. I didn't have any of the memories my body had formed, but that was easy to handle. I was merely briefed on what that ‘me’ reported to the assassins. I summoned Miri, and made a big show about how bringing her back helped the rest of my original mind return, though I still played a broken role.

“I continued to 'recover' for another five or six months. I was allowed to care for Iona again, almost immediately on my return. A friend in the Academy had cared for her during that month that I was 'broken,' just as I had inconspicuously asked of her a year prior, when the trap was first being laid.

“No one, in all the world, knew what Iona was. Everyone involved in that project was dead. My friends and associates believed that she was the orphaned daughter of a friend of mine, that I'd taken into my care.

“I was lying to myself,” she said with a sigh. “I was telling myself that I could care for Iona, to really be her mother, and Miri... well, she's intelligent, and increasingly so as our pact has deepened over the years, but our ways are still somewhat alien to her. Creative, or spontaneous, imagination isn't something that her people can do, even with a pact such as ours.

“When Iona was five years old, she said something that forced me to face the truth. She turned to me out of the blue and asked, 'Are you my mommy?'”

She took a long, deep breath.

“I had to tell her no, of course. She'd talked with other children in the group care, and had picked up on the concept of a mother... and it was something all the other children had. How to tell her that? How to answer all the questions that would follow? What about when she grew older, and better able to understand? What about when she was a teenager?”

Her hand rubbed her face, as if trying to push away the memories.

“I considered my options, and I found them... distasteful. Would I truly kill my first child, and then abandon my second? But the fact was, I knew things that were absolutely critical that the government never discover. The wrong questions, the wrong suspicions... I could never permit anyone to examine my mind again. Alone, Iona could pass for an astoundingly lovely child, one blessed of the gods. But as the adopted child of the nation's most renowned summoner, expert on magical beasts, of magical beings of all kinds, with an absolute mystery for her parentage?”

She ran her hand through her hair, clearly uncomfortable.

“I knew it was theoretically possible to keep her, to somehow always manage to come up with the right lie, but it would only take a single person seeing through me, and her life was forfeit. She wouldn't be killed, of course, but I would lose my position, and she would be studied and used by those less... concerned for her welfare.

“Was my desire for a family worth that risk? Could I be that selfish? Iona was my daughter, in all the ways that mattered, and I wanted her to have her own life, able to make her own choices. So, with much regret, I contacted Jennai again. I needed mind magics cast in an absolutely secret way, and she was the one to go to for such things.

“Iona's memories weren't wiped... they were merely blurred. She couldn't remember my name or face, or Miri, but she knew that she was loved. That she wasn't alone. She didn't know it was me that took her to the Temple of Karik... I told her that I was simply a kind stranger who'd seen her, and brought her to the Temple, so they could try to find her parents.

“Ancestry spells of that nature only work on the living, of course. So there was no risk of discovery. I knew they would, within a few days, determine that she was an orphan child, and would take her in to be raised by the church.”

Her face turned hard.

“I thought they would raise her. That was the plan. But, while I was much studied of the planes, and a little of the gods, I didn't really understand the inner workings of religion. I didn't realize that all exceptionally beautiful temple children were sent to the Temple of Chaav to become prostitutes.”

She sighed. “Not that you should tell Iona I said that, of course.”

Her voice changed pitch, turning smoother, mimicking Iona's voice, “No, of course they are not prostitutes. They merely provided a physical path to follow, to release the grasp of their minds, to free their spirits for discovery and worship…” She shook her head. “She's given me that spiel a dozen times, and to every passerby she meets as well, who thinks the Temple of Chaav is an expensive brothel.

“Well, maybe that was true for her, and I guess she was happy, but I hated knowing she was being... used... by people whose minds were more attached to her lovely form than to the spirituality behind it. People who considered the true price of her pleasures to be coin. Which was the truth, not that she'd ever admit it.

“By that point, I couldn't do anything for her. Not directly. So I sent Miri occasionally, in disguised form, to watch over the Temple, and make sure Iona was happy.

“In the meantime, during those years, I took a firm hand over my position in the Academy. I tracked down all information of Outsiders, in any context I could find. I worked with Jennai, though at first, I tried to avoid it, not wanting to be even more in debt to her people. The prices I’d already had to pay, through my position in the Academy, were bad enough. But I was dealing with secrets, and while Outsiders were my expertise, secrets and shadows were hers.

“We tracked down books, and altered their texts. We tracked down priests, captured them, and erased their memories. I took a close interest in any students that showed talent in summoning, and carefully guided their advancement, such that they never asked the wrong questions.

“I could never have gotten away with it, if it weren't for the fact that I was the only expert in the field still alive. I wasn't just the master of conjuration... I was the only ranking conjurer living. So, every single conjurer following that... incident... was under my direct instruction, and I was ranking enough on my own merits, by that point, that I was beyond scrutiny.

“I was even invited to become one of Lord Theonor's personal Circle. That was awkward.”

She laughed, shaking her head at the memory.

“An opportunity so many would love to have... one I'd have killed for, prior to Iona's birth. The Circle... they can do anything. They have all the power, and only take orders from Lord Theonor himself. The research I could do, the knowledge I could gain... I could even reveal Miri's true nature at long last, and love her openly, without fear of her being taken away. Lord Theonor only cares about results, and it's the Circle that is entrusted with the power to get it done.

“But, the problem was, anyone joining the Circle had to have their minds examined by Lord Theonor himself, and additionally, had to have a geas put on them to compel them to perfect loyalty. The second was distasteful, but the first was impossible. I had to find a way to decline the offer, such that I wouldn't be found suspicious. That conversation was the first time in my life that I actually felt grateful for a life full of lies, since discovering Miri all those long years ago.”

She stroked Miri's fur some more, and the contented purring thrummed loudly.

“How did you manage it?” I asked, curious about the secretive process.

The displeased sound that came from Miri’s throat made Sora chuckle.

“Lord Theonor himself came to me, to make the offer,” she said, and I couldn’t help but cut her off.

“You’ve actually met him?” I asked, awed.

She nodded.

“Yes, I’ve met him,” she said, her voice sounding tired. “Not exactly the event of delight and intrigue that the common citizen might think it to be. The legends surrounding that man, the tales of how he’s survived for so long, the whispers of how he forged Chell from the wilderness of Ruatha… I wasn’t exactly pleased to be in a position to oppose him.

“Of course, I had no way to know how much of that history was true, but I did know that he had direct control of the Circle, generally the finest and sharpest spellcasters in Chell. The degree to which he could destroy me, the degree to which I knew he would enjoy it, from what little I’d seen of his direct orders…” she shook her head slowly.

“He came to me, first, as a student, asking me questions about conjuration. However, I’m no fool, and have spoken to hundreds of students in my decades as a professor of the Academy.

“Clothed in magic, skilled in lies, I saw through his deception in scarce moments. I played along long enough for Miri to get into position to attack him. Without giving anything away, we prepared ourselves, and on my silent command, Miri attacked. I followed up with spells to bind him in place.

“As usual, when dealing with disruptive students, I handled this challenge without causing any direct harm, but clearly putting him in a position that I could, if I wished. I immediately broke the enchantments that had been placed on him, to make him look like a youth, and when I realized the extent of the deception, I sent a message to the Circle immediately. While waiting, I began to interrogate him.

“At least, I tried. I have no skill in mind magic, and so was unable to compel him, and he wasn’t intimidated enough to talk. After I magically bound him to my satisfaction, the Circle appeared - all six of them - out of a veil of invisibility and congratulated me on my fine showing. Neither cruel nor merciful, quick, effective, and willing to call on the aid of others. I’d passed the test.

“I chastised the lot of them for playing such a game, and it was only when Lord Theonor laughed that it finally, far too late, occurred to me that he, personally, had taken the role of the youth. I’d never known what he looked like, and I’d never imagined that he’d permit such risk to his person - though, considering the fact that we were surrounded by the Circle, as well as the nature of my magic, I quickly realized he’d not been the one in danger at all.

She chuckled dryly, “They’d targeted Miri, you see. They knew she was the root of my magic, and believed that if they banished her, I would be helpless. They were wrong, since even when banished, our pact still exists, but I had no intention of correcting their misunderstanding.

“When I realized who he was, I had to do a bit of quick thinking. There are no protocols for meeting our glorious leader, if he’s not one to actually be anywhere in the flesh, and I didn’t want to give the impression that I would be an easy tool. So I merely held my ground, raised an eyebrow, and asked to know how he’d prefer to be addressed.

“He was amused, and rather liked me, to my displeasure. That was when they explained what it would mean to be a part of the Circle. That was when the blend of lies had to begin, when I realized that I could not accept, regardless of what offers were made.

“At first, I asked questions, probing the depth of the offer as much as I could, looking for a likely avenue for refusal. Finally, I found one.”

She smiled. “I asked them if they’d really done the research they’d claimed to do, as it was well known that I was eccentric. Skilled, effective, deadly, yes, but eccentric nonetheless. He said that he was aware, and that he felt certain sense of kinship with those that others might consider mad. He was honestly quite charming, in a terrifying sort of way.

“I reminded him, as drolly as I could manage, that I’d forsaken the greatest sum of my power from the time of its inception, in order to cavort with an imaginary friend of my own creation. False, of course, but in line with the least respectful version of rumors about Miri. Rather… the least respectful rumors that wouldn’t result in bite marks and a trip to the local healer’s, if spoken in my presence.”

Miri made a strange sound, like a growl, but oddly smug. I covered a smile.

“I went on to ask which of the Circle was the clever one that managed to come to the conclusion that I, of all people, might actually be motivated by the idea of gaining more power.”

Her smile broadened.

“Lord Theonor replied that his investigations revealed that I was one to seek power wherever I found it, and could be very ruthless in pursuit of that power, especially political, within the Academy. To which, of course, I replied that I merely wished to have enough power to temporarily remove the throats of anyone who accused Miri of being a sex toy, or of me being a pervert. Having achieved that much power, I was content, and wanted to be left to my research.”

She laughed, “That part, actually, was almost true. It was certainly a boon of my position. The final approach was simply to ask how much I valued that research, and I answered that it amused me to learn of the planes, since the humanoids of our world bored me, including them, with no offense intended towards our noble leader, of course.

“With that, they were satisfied that I would, in fact, be a poor fit for the Circle. Lord Theonor quite charmingly thanked me for amusing him with my sex toy, which tempted me to violence more than perhaps I ought admit, and he left in a blaze of fire. Quite flashy, for someone who never lets himself be seen in person.

“There you have it, then,” she said, “That was my invitation to the Circle. But, back to Iona, let’s see.”

She nodded to herself before speaking again.

“One day, when Iona was about nineteen years old, Miri reported that she was no longer at the Temple, and didn't know where she was. I nearly had a heart attack! Of course, Miri couldn't ask, and I couldn't use divination magic. Well, I could, but divination magic always required either authorization, or investigation after the fact, and both involved mental examination by mind magics. An entire school of magic, lost to me forever.

“I was contemplating how foolish it might be to contact Jennai for something so simple, when I heard that there was someone new joining the Academy. Normally, professors didn't bother paying close attention to newcomers, but I was wary of someone like me showing up, with knowledge of Miri's people, so I always made a point to meet them.

“Imagine my surprise, when I saw Iona standing there, smiling angelically at me.”

She paused for a moment, her eyes watering.

“I hadn't seen her with my own eyes since she was five years old. I'd seen her through Miri's eyes, of course, but this was... it was profoundly more. I managed to keep the facade up, through gods know how, and kindly queried her about her interests, as I usually did.

“She prattled on about how fascinating magic was, how she wanted to learn more, how she was confident that she could manage it. She mentioned another of my associates, Serena, who'd sparked her attention. A diviner, and a nice enough person, though she bore the emotional scars that all ranking in the Academy were subject to. I found myself thinking I could reasonably approve of her as Iona's friend, and then I had to turn away, because I wouldn't have been able to hide my reaction to that thought.

“She wasn't my daughter anymore. Not even my daughter in the first place, technically, and I felt that loss all over again. As casually as I was able, I told her that I hoped she enjoyed her stay, and if ever she developed an interest in conjuration, to feel free to seek me out.

“From that point, I tried to figure out what to do. I was one of the absolute top of the entire Academy... why would I possibly develop an interest in this newcomer, a third my age, who didn't even seem interested in conjuration?

“I came up with a clever alternative,” she said with a smirk. “I was exceedingly pleased with myself. I casually mentioned to my associates I was going to try giving Miri animal level intelligence, while still being bound to my will. That I was curious to see what she might do with a little freedom.

“Not a single eyebrow was raised. In fact, some were pleased that I was finally doing something potentially useful with my eccentric obsession. So, while I was bound to behaving myself, Miri could play with our daughter.

“And, oh, how they played! Miri was profoundly happy, to a degree she hadn't been in a while. Our... traumas... had hurt both of our hearts. She loved our daughter as much as I did... perhaps even more, because she had been able to forgive herself, so her love was untainted by guilt.

“It gave me an 'in' to begin associating with her. After all, my 'pet' had been taken in by her charms, and I was always with my pet, so it worked out. At first, I was just a tag-along with their antics, and I thought it would remain that way for a long while, but Iona was completely unconcerned by our age gap. She even broached the idea of showing me physical pleasures!”

She laughed.

“I could not begin to tell her how uninterested I was in the idea. That was... amazingly awkward, and I managed to convince her I'm a very private person, that such was something I wanted to pursue on my own time, in my own way. Fortunately, with all the secrets I bear, I'm well known to be exceptionally private, and so it was easy to convince her.

“Despite the fact that I was three times her age, she was happy to get to know me, as a person, and I found myself more open and honest with her than I'd been with anyone else in my life - aside from Miri, of course. I wished so dearly to be able to tell her how very loved she was, but I couldn't... not without telling her the truth, and I...”

She paused, and a few tears fell in the silence.

“How could I tell her that?” she asked, her voice croaking with strain. “What I'd done? That I'd murdered her parents, and had taken her as my own, to replace my own child, who I'd also murdered? That's... not exactly an easy thing to bring up in conversation. I couldn't ever tell her... and yet, I wished I could. I wish...”

Her eyes closed, and more tears dripped onto Miri's fur.

“I wish I could beg her forgiveness.”

Miri licked her face softly, cleaning all the tears away. It took several minutes, and it struck me, how very... intimate it was. A beast of magic, cleaning the tears of her old, halfling master... it was so thick with emotion, I felt like I was intruding.

She softly kissed Miri's forehead before she spoke again.

“So, I simply became her friend. Her best friend. She was much loved, but she was too perceptive for the Academy. She knew... she knows... that I'm scarred, that I've got secrets, but in the scheme of things, I can handle it if she manages to see through me. The rest of the Academy, though? Her unwavering dedication to doing the right thing, combined with her remarkable perceptions, makes most of the Academy decidedly uncomfortable. So, I'm the only friend she's truly gotten close to.

“In fact, several years after we became friends, I even told her the truth about Miri. I knew she could keep that secret, nevermind that she's god awful at lying. She just... could.”

She laughed, “I guess you could say I had faith. Or maybe I'm lying to myself, and I just wanted her to know what Miri was to me. Either way, it became the three of us, and while I couldn't truly be her mother, I...

“We were a family,” she breathed, and an angel would have to work to rival the smile that broke out on her face. “At long last, I finally had a family. I had my Miri, and I had my... our daughter. I couldn't officially love her like my daughter, but she knew Miri and I both loved her as her friend. I felt like I'd fulfilled her mother's last request, and I was... happy. My family was complete.”

She flashed a grin at me.

“And then, last year, do you know what that fool girl did? She adopted some urchin off the streets. No, the girl couldn't possibly be taken in by either the Temple or the Academy, she had to take in the girl herself.”

She sighed, shaking her head again.

“I suppose I can't blame her. She's an orphan herself, and she probably remembers feeling very lonely, when she was first brought to the Temple. And now she's gone and made me a grandmother. Bah!

“Still, Kaylee's a sweet girl, and also remarkably talented at magic. She's advanced in her cleric training at an alarming rate, truth be told. Iona must have seen something in her, like she always does. I can hardly complain at having more talent in our 'family.' And speaking of talent...”

She smiled, looking up at the moon again.

“Iona is astounding. She was her father's daughter, too, it seemed, and became as infatuated with knowledge as he had been. She was everything he'd hoped she could be, and more. Not only did she prove not just skilled, but brilliant, with the Arcane, but she also managed to see through to the nature of magic itself, and master the Arcane and Divine as one.

“Who, but the child of an angel and one of the finest wizards the world has ever known, could do such a thing? Hell, I should have seen it coming. Her skill with magic is ludicrous, and she's still advancing rapidly. She's thirty two years old, now, and she's capable of magic of the fourth tier!”

She shook her head in awe, her pride clear.

“I wonder what she'll achieve in magic, as she grows in age. She's half human, and by their measure, doesn't look a day over twenty. I wonder how long she'll last, but I'll say this. No matter what happens, she'll outlive me.”

Her voice had turned dark, and Miri growled in assent. I shuddered to think of the power Miri represented, and how likely Sora was to achieve that goal.

Miri spoke, for the first time during this conversation, and I was a little startled to hear a voice that sounded kind, understanding, and a little spunky, coming from such a powerful looking beast.

“And before we die, my Sora, you will tell her the truth, and she will forgive you.”

Sora's lips trembled and she buried her face in Miri's soft fur.

“She will.”