Our hearts beat so we can anguish. The lungs breathe a greater thread. My feet tread the tightrope of heaven; Devotion or Dismay? There sits a building by the sea, with fourteen stories. The groom is caged by the house. The unpaid dowry is lost to the tide. The poison in the cups sits half drank, eagerly awaiting the return of it's absent hosts. The man at the bar dreams of self-salvation. The frog is bounded at the feet by a thousand crabs. The chef sharpens his knife before the kettle. A joyous plate of legs brightens the atmosphere surrounding the workers of the restaurant. The prisoner gets shanked and dies, without care to return. There are so many books I have written and left unfinished, and now they stand lost to the wind. Do not ask for me to bring them back I ams the big lazy and cannot possibly be bothered. It was all just nonsense anyways. 

Once upon a time, the universe was created. Once upon a different time, completely and definitely sometime after that point in time or whatnot, there was a bard in a tavern. The bard was famous in many a town and village, hundreds would gather just to hear his songs and his tales. Then one early morning, when the sun was still hidden by the horizon, he died of dysentery. Medieval times folks. They died from dysentery a lot more than we truly give credit for. I feel like it deserves some recognition for doing a job well done. Edgy thirteen year old humor aside, this bard had a son. You guessed it, a completely legitimate son to who he left a rather flourishing coal empire. Turns out the dude made a lot of shady deals and had a lot of debts. So, the collectors came. And they took everything they needed. Three dollars and fifty cents. But one day, I was bored so I took some more from him. 

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

There was a young man, at the ripe age of fifteen who got caught in a relationship by the girls family, and as such they came to demand dowry and marriage. Naturally, he was all for this, but lacked any foundation to stand upon. He tossed the burden to his family and eloped with his spouse. He didn't make it very far. He came upon a hotel by the sea, but they had tracked him down. So the pair drank poison and jumped out into the ocean. I'm not really sure why they took the poison if they were just gonna jump. If you can help me understand I would appreciate it. Symbolism and all that. 

Down at a nearby bar, only on the other side of the world and then a couple blocks, there was an alcoholic. He was playing darts with his little posse, and having the losers do shots of tequila. His friends quit after the fourth round. Suddenly, he was losing to himself. After a couple of rounds, he was lining up his next shot when his phone started to ring. He opened his phone, a collage of frogs appearing for a moment, before being replaced by the oncoming call from his wife. It was brief, only a couple of seconds, asking where he was. He told her he was on his way home. Finally, he paid his tab and left the bar. As he stepped out onto the curb, a semi-truck raced towards him. He stood like a deer in headlights.

[WARNING SENSITIVE CONTENT IN SPOILER READ AT OWN RISK]

And then it drove past him. You buffoons'. You thought he was going to die here, didn't you?

You've been trolled in a book. LMAO

 Fin.