Novels2Search
A Squirrel's Tale [litrpg]
A Comedy of Failures

A Comedy of Failures

I had forgotten just how boring it was following the maze. I knew I should be more alert, but as I followed the left wall with nothing happening, I couldn't help but get lulled into lowering my guard. At least, that's my defense for not noticing the first trap.

My leading foot came down on a tile that was slightly raised. The tile seemed to slowly sink, matching the feeling in my stomach until it came to a rest with a deafening click. At that moment, as if to confirm my fuck-up Danger Sense screamed at me. Bolts shot out of the wall to my right. Luckily for me, most were aimed to either side of me as if to catch a party. The few that did come my way were at chest height.

Three bolts slammed into me. One glanced off my left pauldron; another shattered against my breastplate; the third bolt was the problem. I had turned sideways expecting an attack from the front and hoped to present a smaller target only to do the exact opposite. The third bolt hit where my right pauldron and rerebrace met, punching through the small gap. It drove deep into my arm, only being stopped as it hit bone.

I bit back the scream that wanted to rip out of my throat. I stumbled back, dropping to my ass, and pressed my back against the maze wall. I looked over at the bolts nearby and cursed as I saw they were barbed.

"Of course they are." I spat out through gritted teeth.

I carefully started to pull the pauldron and rerebrace, wincing with each small movement causing the bolt to move. I panted softly, fighting the nausea that clawed up my throat. I grabbed my dirk, cutting my sleeve open to get a better look at the wound while taking a few deep breaths. I then had to cut either side of the wound to widen it enough to fit my fingers inside.

Tears built in my eyes, blood pouring down my forearm as I slammed my head back into the wall. Before I lost my nerve, I reached into the wound, my gauntlet making my fingers clumsy. I fumbled around in the wound, my fingers grazing the bolt causing a fresh wave of pain.

Finally, I was able to grab where the head met the shaft. I nearly blacked out as I had to wiggle it back and forth, the head having been stuck in my humerus before it was pulled free. I threw the bolt across the room as blood was pouring freely from my arm. The mix of pain and blood loss caused my head to swim.

I quickly cast my healing spell once twice thrice before rolling to the side and emptying my stomach. The magic swelled before rushing to my injured arm, stitching my flesh back together as if nothing had happened. I lay there curled up, hugging my tail close until I calmed down.

Shaking slightly I put back on my armor, took out my waterskin, and rinsed my mouth out before drinking deeply. I slowly got back to my feet cleaning my armor and dirk of the blood and vomit. A quick check told me my health was full again but I had used a lot of my mana. I knew I needed to sit back down and meditate but I couldn't be here anymore I had to move.

I replaced my waterskin with my ten-foot pole and carefully moved forward. It took me an hour or more to travel the twenty-foot-long hallway avoiding four tripwires and five more pressure plates.

I collapsed next to the room's entrance pressing my back against the maze's wall. I put my head in my gauntleted hands forgetting that one was sticky with my blood.

"Son of a bitch."

I sighed heavily, grabbing my waterskin with the hand not stuck to my face. I poured water over the gauntlet, freeing it. I then scrubbed my gauntlets clean with dirt before washing them again with the last of the water in my waterskin. I sat there until I slowly felt myself calming down. I had calmed down way too quickly for what happened but I'd happily take system-fuckery to keep me from breaking down rather than having to try and find a therapist in this magical medieval world.

I pushed myself back to my feet pulling my sword free. I rested it on my shoulder before I headed into the new room. I scanned the room, smiling softly at the familiar sight. A boar was busy searching for truffles near the sole tree in the room. I carefully moved forward using Analyze.

-Tonitrua Aper level 5-

I stared at the notification cursing whoever thought it was a good idea to use Latin as the naming convention. I had no idea what element this boar unfortunately its color didn't give anything away as it was mostly covered in mud and dirt. I scanned the room for anything else making sure to look up this time.

Confident that it was just the boar I decided now was a perfect time to test my newly improved spell. Mana flooded my body causing it to start to heat up. I moved quickly into the room rushing towards the boar.

To no one's surprise, the boar heard me coming as it was rather hard to move quietly in heavy armor. The boar turned to face me snorting. It lowered its head, lightning coating its body as it ran forward. We both rapidly closed in, gambling on who had their Charge at a higher level.

It was just a few more seconds before it would be in my range when the boar blurred suddenly speeding up. I swung down as quickly as I could but was still too slow. The boar's tusks smashed into my chest as the lighting surrounding it discharged into me. Between the force of the blow and the extra kick from the lightning, I flew backward, bouncing off the ground and losing my khopesh in the process.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

I quickly rolled to my left before hopping back to my feet. My gaze darted around the room locking onto the boar as I gently patted my breastplate. It had a small dent in it but for the most part, seemed to be in one piece. Fortunately for me, I had sent my blade flying to the opposite side of the room.

I could feel my blade waiting in my inventory for me and wasted no time pulling it free. The boar just snorted before rushing towards me clad in lightning. I stood my ground angling my shoulders and feet to my right.

My nerves built as I sat waiting with my back against the wall. The boar rapidly closed in. Fifty, forty-five, forty, thirty-five! I slammed my Charge as hard as I could the second the boar started to blur. My body flew forward at an angle allowing me to pass just right of the boar, my sword sticking out to my left slicing into the boar as we passed each other. Lightning danced up my blade from the moment of contact discharging into me.

My body started to seize up but was barely able to fight off the effect. I spun around smiling as I saw the boar stumbling around. I aimed my blade carefully before burning more stamina. The tip of my blade slammed into the boar's side. It glanced off its rib nicking the boar's lung as the blade was deflected down and to the right.

The boar bellowed in pain as I twisted the khopesh and cut down hacking through the boar's sternum. Blood flecked the boar's mouth as it swung its tusks at me. I danced back while slashing up to my left. My blade hacked into the boar's tusk, getting stuck halfway through.

I placed my right hand on the back of my blade, twisting it to force the boar's face into the ground. I yanked my dirk free and slashed open the boar's throat as it discharged another round of its spell into me.

Blood poured out of its wounds as I jumped back. My body was twitching from its last attack until I poured mana into my healing spell. I gritted my teeth as the boar wheezed for air as I circled the boar. It kept turning, trying to get me back in front of it stumbling slightly. I couldn't stand it and darted in sliding my dirk between its ribs before cutting down and ripping the blade out. I did this two more times before I was finally able to hit its heart putting the boar out of its misery.

I sighed heavily leaning against the boar as my spell lapsed leaving me feeling like my body had done its best to rip itself apart. I sat there catching my breath before I forced myself up and got to work. It took me a while to harvest everything from the boar using Analyze as I went. I got lucky and pulled a beast core out of the boar. I smiled softly, rolling the core between my fingers before tossing it into my inventory.

I had to move my waterskin to my belt and with my khopesh stashed in its own slot I put my cloak on just to free up another slot. I was able to get one hundred and forty pounds of pork out of the boar along with its hide. When I looted what was left of the boar I got a tonitrua aper's femur, which I quickly pulled out and consumed.

Happily, as I was part of the beastfolk races we still held some benefits from our beastly nature. I didn't know if the other races got the same thing but I was still able to gain from eating the bones of my foes. I could feel my body break down the power within the bone and make it my own. I had no idea what benefit I was getting other than the feeling that I was more solid but every bit mattered.

I looked around the room now that the boar was taken care of. I smiled, spotting a chest sitting in front of the tree. I rubbed my hands together as I walked over to it. The sound of dice rolling came from my charm as I threw the lid open.

Inside I found a helmet that looked like a boar's head tusks included. The chest broke into motes of rainbow light as I lifted the helmet out using Analyze on it before checking my notifications.

-Helm of the Thunder Boar-

Said to be crafted from the remains of a Thunder Boar it holds onto a fragment of its past life's power.

Clads the wearer in lightning when they use the Charge ability. Lightning damage is based on Charge's level.

-Congratulations-

Armored Skin has leveled up!

+1 Constitution.

-Congratulations-

Pain Resistance has leveled up!

+1 Constitution

-Congratulations-

Minor Self-heal has leveled up!

+1 Intelligence.

-Congratulations-

You have learned Lightning Resistance.

EXP has been awarded for learning a skill without a trainer.

-Congratulations-

Harvesting has leveled up!

+1 Wisdom.

-Congratulations-

You have defeated a level 5 Thunder Boar.

EXP has been awarded for defeating an opponent.