A little over two hours after my duel with Gal'Rod came to an end, Bob and I were inside the backstage area to retrieve my winnings. I didn't exactly want to come with Bob, but he brought up a good point. I didn't know where I was supposed to go to claim my winnings, but he did. So, with him guiding me - and me desperately hoping he was telling the truth - we left the Lake of Origin for a quick trip to the backstage area to claim my winnings and head home...
Except, that's not what happened.
Bob led me to a place just across the street from the Arena, inside a tall, gray brick building that looked like it’d been pulled straight out of black and white detective movie. The entrance was a simple, unassuming glass double door that could easily be seen from the front stoop of the Arena - especially with the large, multicolored neon sign hanging just above the door, the words ‘Department of Match Verification’ each presented by a different color.
"... Of course, it's called the DMV. Why wouldn't it be?" I sighed and shook my head in a vain attempt to get rid of the headache I knew was coming.
The inside wasn’t much better, but hey, at least it wasn’t more gray and neon… Granted, if I was ever asked about my favorite color, beige would be about as far down the list as one could get. But I think that’s on purpose. I’d never seen the color inside any place I actually wanted to return to, this place being no exception.
Upon entering the building - I’d needed Bob to open the door for me since I STILL DIDN’T HAVE ARMS! Which was complete and utter bull hockey. Let me tell you. I finally get a somewhat humanoid body back and boom, it’s gone again.
Anyway, upon entering the building, I found myself in an empty, narrow lobby with a handful of plastic chairs lining the walls and fake plants hanging from the ceiling. The far side of the room had a large wooden desk with a bulky computer monitor sitting on top of it, and a doorless frame leading to some side room you couldn’t see from the entrance.
I was greeted by the employee standing behind the wooden desk and asked to approach once they’d finished typing something into the computer: The young-looking dragonoid was nearly nine-foot tall and shaped like a human woman. Her polished crimson scales stood out against her well-tailored black suit. She’d pulled the long white tendrils protruding from the back of her head into a ponytail to keep them out of the way while she worked. However, due to their length, they ended up laying over her right shoulder and falling somewhere near the center of her chest.
She was polite, efficient, and obviously used to seeing all kinds of people showing up at her job. Because she didn’t bat an eye at a short yellow bird and a large green snake coming through the doors together.
Once she had our names and reason for coming, she directed us through the door to the ‘real’ lobby.
Ten massive television screens had been hung in a line across the room. Each one facing a set of thirty plastic chairs placed in front of it and an even larger ‘standing only’ waiting area just behind them.
I briefly glanced at each screen as we made our way to the standing only waiting area near TV number six - A few seconds after finding a place to wait, I became somewhat captivated by the TV in front of me.
It was broadcasting a live feed of a duel taking place somewhere in the multiverse. A strange looking werewolf with metallic fur was fighting for its life against a number of humans dressed in odd-looking robes. The werewolf quickly spun the iron-studded club in its hands before rushing the humans - Who seemed to be wielding weapons of their own, as well as elemental magics.
I watched the battle for about a minute before losing interest and looking around at the other screens; TV number three showed a fat kid intruding on a duel between a pretty girl and a… Was that a ninja? Either way, the girl had been doing surprisingly well on her own, fighting the ninja with nothing but her bare hands and some kind of odd possession magic before the fat kid showed up and smashed a freaking chair over the ninja’s head.
I got some amusement out of the angry shouts that followed the interruption. But as I looked around the different TVs, I got the sense that something was wrong here. There was no way those screens were showing duels between Tenders.
“What are we watching?” I asked Bob, who was apparently fascinated by something he’d seen on TV number nine.
“Huh? Oh, right. You haven’t been here before.” He replied after a second. “The DMV doesn’t just govern payouts for duels, there aren’t nearly enough of them to warrant an organization devoted to it. So, to make up for the low number of duels between Tenders, the DMV also hosts bets for battles happening all across the multiverse.”
“So, those are mortals?” I asked and waved my tail at TV number eight, which was showing a flaming-haired Giant in golden armor absolutely flatten the enemies in front of him with a golden tower shield.
“Yep - Oh, well, maybe not that one. But the rest are. And since there’s always a battle happening somewhere, the Tenders always have something to bet on.”
“Interesting.” I said and glanced around the other TVs for anything that might catch my eye.
TV number two showed a bald human in yellow spandex one-shotting some fishman in a bathing suit - Interesting, but over too quickly to keep my attention for long.
TV number four showed another bald human, this one with a red tattoo and a thick beard bashing some blonde guy’s head into the ground and then strangling him to death.
TV number one showed a bald purple Giant laying into a green-skinned Giant with dark-brown hair - I watched as the green one got slammed into the ground hard enough to knock it out, much to the apparent surprise of everyone else on screen.
“What’s with all the bald guys beating the crap out of everyone?” I muttered while watching the three-eyed bald guy on TV number seven level a mountain with an energy blast. “Did I miss the memo where no hair equaled super strong or is it just a coincidence?... Wait a second, aren’t I bald?” With that - admittedly jarring - thought in mind. I continued my scan of the other TVs.
On and on the battles went, and on and on time seemed to drag. Eventually I couldn’t take the boredom anymore and just went to sleep, hoping that when I finally awoke, it would be my turn...
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Sometime later.
“Torga… Psst, hey, Torga. Your number’s coming up. Wake up!” Someone whispered from a few inches away.
My eyes shot open, and I reared back, ready to take a bite out of the idiot who dared- “Oh, it’s just you.” I sighed and shook my head to chase away the haze of sleep.
“Of course, it’s me. Who else were you expecting? Santa Claws?” Bob: the insane yellow bird, huffed and folded his wings across his chest. A part of his left wing separated from the whole and started impatiently tapping on his right wing, almost like it was an extra-long finger - A wide smile suddenly appeared across his duck-like face.
With a gleeful smile that revealed a mouthful of teeth that should not be inside a bird’s head. Bob turned to face away from me for a second, just one. When he turned back, he had a small, brown notebook open on his lap and a black pen clutch inside his wing ‘fingers’.
Bob put pen to paper and started writing something I was too disoriented to read.
I watched him continue to perform this anatomically unlikely action with a feeling of resignation in my stomach. I didn’t have the energy to tell him his wing wasn’t supposed to bend that way. Nor did I actually care enough to try.
After that ‘surprising’ sight, I had to take a moment to look around and get my bearings. Falling asleep had left me disoriented and more than a little grouchy - especially after all the crap I’d been through over the last few days.
After a few seconds I remembered where I was… and desperately wished I hadn’t since I’d been awake less than a minute and I could already feel a tension headache coming on.
***
As my long, slender body remained curled up beside my friend Bob's chair; my dark green scales blunted the light cast by the annoyingly loud light bulbs hanging overhead. Their gentle humming was just loud enough to make my bright orange eyes twitch in annoyance.
Such was the fate of someone stuck inside the DMV.
Not the Department of Motor Vehicles, no, thankfully that didn’t exist in the backstage area: the de facto hub of the multiverse and the place where the other tenders of Yggdrasil meet up to exchange goods, form alliances, and create/kill their enemies.
The DMV I was referring to was called the ‘Department of Match Verification’. Supposedly, this was the place to be if you enjoyed betting on, or participating in, the dueling system. It was here that payouts were given, honor was bestowed… and hatred was earned.
Now, like me, you might be wondering how I ended up in this mess; forced into waiting inside a sterile beige room filled with mind numbing music and the stink of greed.
Well, to answer that question; We need to go back a ways, back to when I first awoke in this strange and irritating place we call the multiverse.
Let’s start with the basics.
Hi, my name is Torga, and I’m a god… No, seriously, I am. Created my own universe and everything. I even have the identification to prove it.
Name: Torga
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Race: Gluttonous God
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Bifrost Coins: 7,926
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Attributes:
Physical: Strength 95 | Endurance 99 | Dexterity 45 | Speed 15 |
Mental: Intelligence 157 | Wisdom 86 | Charisma 34 |
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Attribute points: 100 (MAX)
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Status:
Current diet: Error (Gluttony is in effect)
Current evolution style: Serpent Style
Current senses: Serpent Style
Current movement style: Basic Serpent
----------------------------------------
Possible Evolution Options
Good Eyesight—> Phenomenal Eyesight— 2,000 points
Targeted Petrifying Gaze—> Enhanced Petrifying Gaze—1,000 Points
50 Meter heat sense—> 100 Meter heat sense— 4,000 Points
Bite Force 1,500PSI—> Bite Force 3,000PSI—1,500 Points
Progress to Next Stage— 3,500 Points
Unlock Additional Evolution Style— 50,000 Points (expand?)
Length Change: Error — ???
----------------------------------------
Evolution Points: 92,891
See? Told you so.
Of course, I wasn’t always a god. No, not even close. A long… long time ago I was a human living on earth. I had a wonderful wife, three beautiful kids, and a house near the ocean.
It was wonderful.
However, my perfect life didn’t stay perfect for long. My wife, Sarah, died young. I spent the rest of my life living for the sake of my children and wondering what could’ve been… Funnily enough, it was only after my death that I would begin living the life I was always meant to have. Though, I wouldn’t discover that until many years later.
After my death I met a god who went by the name ‘Niabus’. He convinced me that Sarah had been chosen for a higher purpose and her death was merely a way to get her to her next journey.
A surgeon on earth. My wife was always a hero to me, our kids, and the patients she treated. But now she’d been chosen to become an honest to god Hero. Like the ones from the old legends and stories.
And I was being given the opportunity to help her fulfill her destiny… What kind of fool would I be if I’d said no?
Of course, I accepted his offer to be reborn. Even if it meant I might die before ever meeting her, it was another chance to see her. And to me, that was worth a thousand deaths.
I was reborn as a Snake on the far-off planet of Rualea. And let me tell you right now, there wasn’t a grace period waiting for me. Niabus threw my scaly ass into the deep end faster than I could say “arms are cool.”
Aside from teaching myself to move - which was a lot harder than you might think. Just because I was reborn as a snake, that doesn’t mean I suddenly knew how to act like one. Or even move like one.
One doesn’t just ‘know’ how to slither, after all.
Oh! And if that wasn’t enough, I discovered a neat, little, life-altering fact about myself.
Don’t you just love those?
You might have noticed my race earlier was ‘Gluttonous God’. Well, that started all the way back when I first became a snake. See, I’d ‘awoken’ to a holographic screen telling me I could evolve if I accomplished certain tasks… And that I possessed a trait known as ‘Gluttony’.
I didn’t know it then, but that trait was just the first sign of the absolute horror show my life would become.
Gluttony came with the funny quirk of; ‘If you don’t constantly fill your stomach, you’ll starve to death in a few hours.’ And that ‘quirk’ would only grow more severe over time. Eventually growing to the point, it consumed my sanity.
Despite being in a constant state of starvation. I did have some good times in the days to come.
I met Ayla: The elf girl I’d later adopt and come to love like any of my other children… That came with also meeting her would-be husband Thor: An arrogant prince of Asgard with more bravado than sense.
Okay, to be fair, I may have overreacted a tad when we first met. And he did eventually grow on me… Like a tumor or a fungus, sure. But we did come to an agreement about Ayla.
He swore to always make her happy and I promised not to eat him. A fair compromise, I thought. Seeing as he was the reason a pissed off ex of his sent assassins after my daughter.
Aside from Ayla, I made many friends throughout my journey towards self-discovery and the next meal.
The Mutt - Er - wolfman Fenris, his wife Lena, and their three kids; the daughters Hali and Talia. And their son, Solon. The five of them became some of my closest allies in the years that followed.
There were also the goblins; Findral, Siofs, Holstig, and Hogunn. Though they eventually returned to their nest, they were reliable allies. And Findral, the sole goblin to remain by my side, was one of the few people I’d go so far as to call a ‘friend’... And in the end, she was the only one I trusted to protect Ayla when I could not.
And finally, after a hellish adventure to finally gain control of my hunger, I was reunited with my wife. Sarah - though now living as an Elf known as Reina.
Surprisingly, she hadn’t seen so much as a day pass between her death and reincarnation. And though we didn’t meet up immediately after her rebirth, she’d only been living as Reina for a few years when we met.
That’s despite me already living out a full life as a human and another few centuries as a snake.
Yeah, that’s another thing. Turns out Niabus wasn’t exactly ‘truthful’ when he explained everything to me.
See, Niabus was working for another god - an evil god known as Orochi… Who was also known by the moniker of the ‘King of Snakes’. And the king had long ago been sealed inside a pocket dimension for crimes against Yggdrasil.
Sorry, Yggdrasil being the obscenely massive tree that holds the entire universe within its branches and digs its roots throughout time and space… Yeah, that Yggdrasil.
I became an unwilling pawn in Niabus’s plan to rescue Orochi. He’d predicted everything; my struggles, my triumphs, even my obsession with getting to Reina. He knew I’d do whatever I had to in order to see her again.
Which made me all the easier to manipulate.
I was convinced the only way forward was to become the next ‘King of Snakes’ and went down the ‘King’s Path’ none the wiser. And on the day I was crowned ‘King’, I was also sealed inside the very prison that kept Orochi out of trouble. And he, in turn, was allowed to escape.
After all, the ‘King of Snakes’ was still imprisoned. So, the seal no longer held any sway over him - the former king.
He ran away and I spent centuries imprisoned in his place. Well, centuries for me. For everyone else it was over in the blink of an eye.
And do you know what’s so funny about all of that?
Niabus, that bastard, was right. I did learn to control my hunger by following the king’s path. It just came as a matter of course after being sealed away with nothing but my hunger and my rage to keep me… Sorry. Got a bit heated for a second there.
Anyway, I escape from the prison after consuming it from the inside out and take revenge on the bastards responsible. But not Orochi, no, he didn’t appear before me until much later.
And of course my escape wasn’t the end of it. No, that would be too easy. Because I’d destroyed Orochi’s prison in my escape, now the gods of Yggdrasil were hunting me.
It didn’t matter if I told them the truth. It was of no consequence if I explained I’d done nothing to… Okay, that’s not actually true. I did eat a few planets here and there. But nothing like the crimes they were accusing me of.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Just like that, my new life with Reina was subverted by constant attempts on my life. A trip through literal hell. And the freaking END OF THE WORLD - Ragnarok.
All because I let Niabus play me for a fool.
At one point I thought I’d made a few more allies. Good allies, ones that could help me sort this entire mess out and get back to living a simple life… But even that turned out to be false.
Shazai; An extremely powerful god in his own right, and a Judge of Fate to boot, knew something about me that not even I was aware of. And because he knew the ‘truth’ about me, he helped Orochi stage an ambush against me.
Using Reina as bait, they lured me into the final confrontation with Orochi. But I wasn’t being lured into a fight. No. They wanted me to surrender without a fight - which I did, on the grounds they let Reina go.
Orochi used the opportunity to explain the ‘truth’ of everything - almost like he was bragging about being on the verge of victory. Yes, it was true, he knew why I was the one Niabus decided to use in his plan. Why Reina had been chosen as a Hero. Even why I’d been cursed to live with Gluttony.
It was all my fault… All of it.
Turns out, I was the reincarnation of some ancient monster known only as ‘The Father of Monsters’. Since the very beginning of existence I’d, apparently, made it my mission to consume Yggdrasil to the last atom - Only, I have no memory of any of it.
No one, not Orochi, Shazai, and especially not me, knew how many times I’d successfully eaten Yggdrasil. A dozen? A hundred? A thousand? It was mere conjecture how many times I’d done it. But three truths remained. I had done it, I would do it again - whether I meant to or not - and Orochi wanted revenge.
He claimed to have developed a skill that allowed him to exist beyond death - Literally transcending the bounds of his universe and surviving into the next one. He’d spent multiple ‘cycles’ trying to figure out a way to stop me and claimed to have almost figured it out. He only needed a few more years… And that meant I had to die.
Normally that’d be the end of it, right? Death being a pretty - er- final state of being. But no, he claimed I would come back eventually. I already had, after all. That was how I ended up as Albert in the first place.
For me, death was nothing more than a long nap while Orochi worked out a way to stop me for good.
If that were true, then I honestly couldn’t blame him for hating me… And if it was true that I was a ticking time bomb, one destined to destroy the universe and everything in it. Then I wouldn’t fight it. I’d protect those I cared about by allowing Orochi to seal me away.
And I almost did it.
But Reina… My beautiful Reina… She didn’t want me to do it. She believed I wasn’t the monster they - I know I can be.
Shazai killed her in front of me. And I, in turn, lost myself to the hunger and rage inside.
Shazai may have killed Reina, but I killed everything else. I -
***
“What are you doing?” I asked Bob as the bird continued to unerringly write in his little notebook. My headache was actually beginning to subside, and I thought they’d call my name at any moment.
The day was improving by the sec-
“I’m writing a recap since you’ve been asleep for a loooooong time.” Bob replied without looking away from his notebook. “Don’t want anyone to forget what’s happened, after all.”
Oh, look at that, my headache is back… With a vengeance.
"How long?" I groaned.
"Almost two years."
"Two years?" I all but shouted, earning myself a few glares from onlookers.
"Well, technically you've only been asleep for a few hours. But in some places, that was nearly two years' worth of sleep. Time sure is funny that way." He laughed.
“Let's just... shelve the two-year thing for now. You said you were writing a recap - Do I want to know what that means?” I asked and closed my eyes, wishing I had hands for about the billionth time.
“You wouldn’t understand it even if I showed it to you.” Bob replied. To prove his point, he turned the notebook so I could glimpse what he’d written on the page… Sure enough, the entire page looked like a toddler had been given free rein to scribble whatever they felt like.
The page was covered by a singular black line that moved up and down the page, while also moving from left to right. There were countless twists and turns thrown in for seemingly no reason. The cherry on top of this eldritch sundae was the little snake doodle at the top of the page, above all the lines and even drawn in a different color pen… That I couldn’t remember him ever pulling out.
Do they even make lime-green ink for pens?
I shook my head and let out a resigned sigh. “Proceed with… Whatever the hell you were doing. I won’t bother you again.” I really needed to start remembering that sometimes- sometimes I was really better off not knowing what was going through that insane little head of his.
“Thank you.” Bob replied while lightly kicking his feet like a kid who was too short to reach the floor… Which he was. Well, if by ‘kid’, you meant insane little gremlin.
Seriously though, I get the feeling if I keep hanging out with him like this, I’m going to end up as utterly insane as he is. Might even start thinking I’m being watched - I glanced around the room at the people making a rather obvious show of watching me; some with smiles on their faces, some with murder in their eyes, and at least one with an almost lust-filled… You know what, no, I don’t care. Let them stare. Has nothing to do with me.
I let out another sigh and closed my eyes.
Only eighty more numbers ahead of me… Yay.
----------------------------------------
Even more time later...
A soft chime came through the intercom set into the white-tiled ceiling - “Number 74,657 to lane six. Repeat: Number 74,657 to lane six please. Thank you.” Said a droning male voice.
I lifted my head and glanced around. The dragonoid by the door said I was number 74,666, so I still had nine numbers ahead of me.
I thought it insane for them to give me such a high number, no way could the building actually hold that many people without some kind of spatial distortion going on. Besides, I’d only seen a few hundred people in the waiting areas when I first got here. So, the number made even less sense to me.
But if I was truly being honest with myself. Distorting the space inside a building to hold more people was less strange than a snake capable of eating a planet, so… I shut my mouth and just ignored the confusion.
At least I had something to watch while I waited.
“I tried to tell you we should’ve come later. This place is always packed like a can of swollen sardines.” Bob grumbled under his breath and shoved his little notebook back from whatever pocket dimension he’d pulled it from.
“Yeah, I’d still rather get this over with as soon as possible. I don’t mind waiting so long as this crap is really over once we leave.” I replied while watching the TV in front of us. “If I had it my way, once I return to the Lake of Origin, I’d never leave again. What’s a few hours waiting compared to an eternity of never having to deal with homicidal jackasses again? ”
“Well, yeah, but… We could’ve still come later in the day. This place is normally quiet around the fourth or fifth century.”
“Interesting. Interesting. And, what century are we in right now?” I asked, not willing to put up with his complaining right now.
In response, Bob pulled a solid gold pocket watch out of his… Pocket? Interdimensional storage compartment? Whatever it was, the watch appeared out of nowhere and he inspected it with a squinted eye. “Hmm, we’re somewhere around the seventy-second century - Oh…” He trailed off as realization dawned on him. “You’re right, we would’ve been waiting much longer if we’d waited.” He laughed and I felt my spirit die a little.
Bob vanished the watch back into his ‘pocket’ and turned to me. “That reminds me, I’m supposed to be meeting someone in five minutes. Do you mind if I leave now, so I can pop off to Charles’ place for some burnt juice and orange biscuits before the meeting? I haven’t eaten anything in years.”
I opened my mouth to correct him; we’d only been here for a few hours, but a little voice inside my head screamed at me not to open that can of worms right now. “You know what? Sure. Go for it.”
Bob smiled cheerfully at me, the action revealing multiple rows of razor sharp teeth inside his beak. “Awesome! See you later, Torga. I’ll come back and check on you in a few hours, I’m sure you’ll have moved by then.” He said before vanishing with an audible *pop*
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady my emotions. I liked Bob - Okay, like is a strong word. He was an ally, one filled to the point of absolute madness with valuable information I probably couldn’t get anywhere else… But dear gods above, did he get on my nerve.
And I only had the one after the crap with Gal’Rod, so that was a dangerous place to be.
I went back to watching TV number six to distract myself - and almost did a double take at the face I saw staring back at me: frozen in a state of despair moments before the end of his life, was ‘Gal’Rod the Glutton’.
At the bottom of the screen was a slow moving box that spelled out the results of the duel for all to see.
Primary Score
Gal’Rod the Glutton Gained: 0 MP Lost: 327,587 MP Final Total: -327,587 MP Torga Gained 327,587 MP Lost: 0 MP Final Total: +327,587 MP Secondary Score Gal’Rod the Glutton Monsters killed: 0 Monsters lost: 52,161 Final Total: -327,587 MP Torga Monsters killed: 52,161 Monsters lost: 0 Final Total: +52,161
Winner
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Torga
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Reward | +327,587 MP + 2,000 MP victory bonus.
Secondary prize
+2 Mana per / Monster killed
I grimaced at the screen and slightly shook my head.
I’d hoped becoming a Tender was my chance to start over, to prove to Reina that I wasn’t the monster everyone thought I was.
But Gal’Rod just had to push my buttons: You could insult me, push me, hell, even smash a chair over my head and I wouldn’t care a bit… But he’d threatened Reina, and even assaulted her to get a rise out of me.
That was something I would not tolerate - Ever.
“Number 74,666 to lane six. Repeat: Number 74,657 to lane six please. Thank you.” The same droning voice said over the intercom.
The numbers ahead of me had been steadily advancing while I sat there, staring off into nowhere.
“Finally!” I mentally exclaimed and lifted myself off the ground.
I weaved my way through the crowd inside the waiting area, eventually reaching the TV and circling around it. Lane six was easy to find, thanks to the barebones layout that aspired towards function over form.
Each lane was simple in design, a narrow passage between two short walls, leading to a much bigger wall at the other end. For convenience, and to make finding your way as simple as possible, every lane was labeled in three places: A large sign hanging from the ceiling, a smaller sign at the entrance of each lane, and a third sign plastered onto the wall at the other end of the lane…
I glanced around at the other lanes and was immediately confused.
This side of the TVs was completely abandoned. No one, employee or otherwise, was waiting to help or be helped. In fact, I was even more confused about the sight of the lanes leading to a deadend. What was the deal with that?
A few seconds passed as I considered what to do - “Number 74,666 to lane six. Repeat: Number 74,657 to lane six please. This is your final call. Thank you.” The same droning voice said over the intercom.
I shook my head in irritation and frowned as I moved into the sixth lane - I winced as the floor beneath me shifted and colors swam before my eyes. Thankfully, it was over almost as quickly as it started.
With my vision no longer swimming, I found myself standing inside an ordinary office. The room was as compact as could be, but aside from the row of metal cabinets lining the right wall and a wooden desk with another bulky computer monitor, it was nearly identical to the lobby I was just in.
Same paint job, same ceiling tiles with an intercom, same obnoxious lights that made me want to scream.
“Definitely still in the same building.” I sighed disappointedly and moved towards the desk. The… I think it was some kind of slug creature - greeted me with a bored look in the single eye looming above its body on a two-foot stalk.
It was fairly large for a slug, standing somewhere around four-feet tall. It wore a tweed jacket over an odd patterned shirt that looked almost like aluminum. A powdered white wig rested atop his head, giving it the appearance of having hair. To complete the look, a silver monocle with an incredibly thick glass center sat in front of its lone eye.
“Name?” The cyclopean slug uttered in an almost monotone voice. It took me a moment to realize the reason it sounded so lifeless - The slug hadn’t actually spoken. The voice had come from the small speaker embedded in the side of the slug’s neck, or what I assumed to be its neck; just above the collar of the odd shirt.
“Name?” The speaker repeated.
“Sorry, Torga. My name is Torga.” I said, hoping the slug hadn’t been offended by my staring. It was just so… Alien. Four tentacles extended from the slugs chest and began to rapidly type something into the computer in front of it.
“Torga v Gal’Rod. Was that you?” The slug asked without looking away from the monitor.
“Unfortunately.”
It quickly typed something into the computer. “Look straight ahead.”
“Huh— Gah!” I yelped as a blinding flash of light hit my eyes. I shook my head to clear the colors from my vision and stared at the small black object sitting just beneath the monitor. “You could’ve warned me about the camera.”
The slug ignored my comment and continued typing into the computer. “You’re number 12,729. Please wait in the next room, someone will be with you shortly.” The slug explained before pressing a dark-colored button next to the computer.
The ground shifted beneath me once again and countless colors assaulted my vision. This time, the ‘trip’ took considerably longer, taking almost ten seconds before I found myself inside yet another room.
*Ding!*
A new feature has been added to your system. Would you like to view it now?
I ignored the pop-up for the moment and glanced around the room.
Gone was the boring office building and in its place was an infinite white space. Thousands of chairs sat in neat rows as far as the eye could see.
“There must be ten thousand people in… Oh, god damnit.” I remembered what the slug said about me being number 12,729 and got the distinct impression that if I took the time to count all the people in this room, I would likely come up with a number not too far off.
A wave of pure exhaustion washed over me and I wanted nothing more than to say to hell with the prize and just leave. But, at this point, I’d already come too far to back down now.
I trudged my way over to an empty spot, away from all the chairs, and curled into a comfortable position. I got a few concerned looks from the people closest to me for choosing to sit on the ground, but I didn’t care. I’d much rather keep my scaly backside on the ground than sit in one of the cheap plastic death traps.
“Show me the new feature.” I told the system.
*Ding!*
Dueling Record has been added to the system.
Rank Unranked Wins 1 Loses 0 Draws 0 Disqualifications 0
I ordered the screen to disappear and laid my head down. If they were going to make me wait, then at least I’d get to catch up on my sleep. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off to dreamland in minutes.
And what felt like a few minutes later, I was being woken up by someone shaking me.
I opened a single eye and stared at the yellow bird smiling down at me. “You really need to stop doing that. It’s getting irritating.” I grumbled, lifting my head off of my tail until I was eye to eye with Bob. “How’d you even find me?” I asked him.
“That’s not important right now. What is important is that your number was just called. So, unless you want your spot to be given to someone else…” He trailed off while motioning towards an orb of light that was floating a few inches from my face.
“Whoa. How’d I miss that?” I asked, shaking my head to chase away any remaining sleep.
“No idea. But that sleeping habit of yours is kinda obnoxious. You should look into that.” Bob replied before urging me to touch the orb.
I glared at Bob for having the gall to call me obnoxious… But the little menace did have a point. If I didn’t want my spot taken by someone else, I needed to get moving.
I nodded in thanks and reached out to the orb with my tail. I braced myself for the inevitable switch I knew was coming - to my surprise, there wasn’t a shift in the floor. Nor were colors swimming before my eyes. This time, the change was instant.
It was like waking up from a dream.
The moment I made contact with the orb, I was instantly in a different place.
I found myself in a smartly decorated office: the walls and ceiling were constructed out of some kind of reddish wood, while the flooring was perfectly polished marble. Ten bookshelves, five on each side of the room, framed the large wooden desk at the far side of the room and cast dark shadows across it.
Behind the desk were floor-to-ceiling windows that held a stunning view of the backstage area: A gigantic city stretched out before each window. Out of the leftmost window, I could see dozens of glass skyscrapers overlooking a bay with seven large ships floating just offshore.
Each of the skyscrapers seemingly reflected a different ‘scene’ for the people going about their lives to enjoy: One building projected a gorgeous sunset viewed from a beach covered in silver sand, another building showed a tranquil waterfall in the depths of a vibrant jungle - the water shining like polished emeralds as it fell towards the crystal clear lake below, while a third building revealed a mountainous peak, high above the golden clouds that drifted aimlessly far below.
It took a few seconds for me to realize the other two windows showed entirely different cities.
The middle window showed a city of stone overlooking the same bay. Rather than skyscrapers of steel and glass, squat stone buildings were stacked on top of one another to create a defensible fort. And rather than seven yachts floating in the bay, seven galleons floated just off shore with their cannons billowing smoke into the sky.
The final window showed a city of wooden houses and thriving greenery overlooking the same bay. Gargantuan trees towered over the relatively small wooden houses and structures, while countless smaller plants occupied almost every square inch I could see. Rather than seven yachts or seven galleons floating offshore, this window showed seven blue whales floating in the bay.
Finally my gaze landed on the giant of a man hunched over the desk in front of the windows. His crimson skin stood in stark contrast to the baby blue suit he’d stuffed himself inside. His long raven hair had been pulled into a tight top-knot that allowed his face to be easily seen. A single ivory horn had grown several feet from the center of his forehead.
“Dost thou need help with something?” The big man rumbled in a deep, but smooth voice. He hadn’t so much as looked at me since I arrived, instead preferring to focus on the many pieces of paper scattered across his desk.
“I’m here to collect my winnings.”
“Aye? What is thy name?”
“Torga.” I said while moving closer to the desk.
The giant nodded his head - his right arm suddenly shot out, his arm growing far longer than before, and grabbing a seemingly random book from the top shelf of one of the bookshelves.
His arm retracted smoothly, but just as quickly and placed the book on the desk between us.
I moved even closer to the desk to see what he’d just grabbed - I felt my breath hitch as he opened the book to the first page. The ‘book’, if it could be called that, looked more like a small universe than something made out of a tree.
Ironic considering I’m married to a literal embodiment of Yggdrasil.
The book revealed a hole in the space above his desk. Inside of which, a single orange star languidly floated in place.
The giant caught me staring and chuckled, his voice surprising me enough to pull me out of my thoughts. “That’s why I love this job.” He closed the book with a single flick of his finger and casually slid it towards me. “This is everything Gal’Rod owned. Please, take the book with you and keep it for your records.“ He said, dismissing me entirely and going back to work.
“Thanks?” I extended my neck and grabbed the book with my mouth - my eyes widened in shock as I felt the weight of it.
I spat the book back out and looked at the giant. “What is this thing?”
“Tis a pocket universe. Specifically, tis Gal’Rod’s pocket universe. You destroyed the planets, but the space still exists. The weight you felt, is the weight of what he left behind. Feel free to think of it as the weight of responsibility.” The giant said while grinning. The fact that he had wolflike fangs didn’t surprise me after everything else I’d seen.
I glanced between the giant and the book a few times before I just gave in and took the folder once again. It was heavy, but not unmanageable. If I’d been in my human form, it would’ve been easier… Or if I had hands of any kind… Or even access to my magic. Mostly it was the ‘carrying it in my mouth’ thing that made it more difficult than it should have been. After all, I didn’t want to pierce it with my fangs or soak it with my drool.
“You wouldn’t happen to have a bag, would you?” I asked while staring at the book.
The giant didn’t look up from his paper as he reached into a drawer attached to his desk. A second later, he placed a huge black bag on top of his desk and pushed it towards me.
I felt my eye twitch as I saw the words “Recycle or Die” written in bold letters across the front of the bag.
I nodded my head in thanks before awkwardly placing the book inside the bag and heading back to the spot I’d appeared - My vision swam for a second after I reached it. When it cleared, I found myself standing in the middle of the street outside of the DMV.
“There you are!” Bob exclaimed, running up to me with a wide smile across his face. “Ready to go home?” He asked.
“You have no idea.” I said, nodding tiredly and turning towards the portal home.