I wonder what awaits in living a lesser life. Was it the right decision to step down?

At the terminus of their spontaneous decision, one couldn’t help but seek a practical reason for the choice committed. But no matter how hard one asks themselves, that is the extent of it. Nothing can be done to reverse the change.

Why did one, step down in the first place? It came to them as though it was a lightning that struck their conscience. It is hard to come by in perceiving the merits in stepping down. However, when the happenstance that something went missing came in realization, yearning for its existence could be overpowering. If man fears the unknown, getting obsessed over it is equally likely.

Something is missing, and I am in search for it, they answered, using a twisted train of thought as if one was to delude themselves. Something? Would a vague enough reason justify an impractical decision? Wanting something is easy, but searching for it is the difficult part.

Does one pertain to something that would satiate one's indefinite thirst for wealth? Is it to quell one’s itch into faring an undertaking? Or perhaps, one longs for an unworldly romance?

Try as they might, the thought just doesn’t come about. No, it could never be something as petty as these things. I will know it when I encounter it, they refuted. But such remark was nothing more than a silver lining.

And one never encountered it in a place like this?

For a short moment, it actually occurred to them that such circumstance is actually the case. As a matter of fact, one could be just too blind as to miss what they long for. But with no tension whatsoever enveloping their clouded thoughts, one had a firm resolution over such conflict.

It can never be in a place like this. For once, they answered resolutely.

Then, would one ever attain it somewhere else? Not to mention, in a lesser life?

If it’s not within one’s grasp, then does it possibly exist somewhere beyond? If one was yet to discover a lesser life, does it really exist somewhere along those lines? It would’ve appeared a dead end at first, but one thing came to realization.

It is only existent in a place beyond the past. It is not to coincide with what used to exist.

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...Only a fool would allow their past perish. The eminence. The glory. Let alone, the power. For someone who already has everything, what is possibly missing? they yielded, in an attempt to thwart one out of their delusion.

Everything, a simple yet alluring word. One wished it is always the good things. But reality often doesn’t work that way. Within everything resides something unsightly.

It is because I have everything, this particular thing never existed, they articulated.

And would one ever forsake everything just to attain something, one doesn't even know, exist?

If one were to find fault over desiring something, it is not knowing exactly what one yearns for. Moreover, not knowing where it exists. But if there was a sense of affirmation during those times, it was the firm materialization of their purpose. An affirmation formed through perceiving the faces of other people. The fact that it’s beyond his reach in his current state, one couldn’t help but indicate a crestfallen expression.

It is existent somewhere, beyond this realm. It exists around me, but never in my own world.

As earnest as their expression and resolve is, one couldn’t help but realize the lingering doubt within their face. Even if it did exist, ask one’s self—would it all be worth it?

Chances are, what is missing could be a transient thing. For someone who has everything, the thought of surrendering everything over something measly in comparison seemed illogical. The thing they yearn for couldn’t compare with everything they had at first glance—Such thing could be everlasting if properly taken care of. But in comparison to what they truly long for, it could never be an ethereal thing. Ethereal enough to put them under a spell.

Equivalence is irrelevant, they whispered, as if they were uncertain. At this point, everything is nothing but a gamble. Not to mention, the odds are far off one’s favor.

But indeed, it is. You’ve got everything to lose over one thing you deem you yearn for. One's subjectiveness is a superficial thing. What you desire... is a superficial thing.

It was nothing but a desperate attempt into convincing them to admit their mistake. As pointless it is at this rate, it did nothing but to force out an expression of denial.

Erroneous! —

What gives you the certainty that this thing, you are looking for, is what you really wanted in the first place?

As unforgiving as it appears, it was the only way to relay the well-meaning of one’s intention. Yet, now of no return, it served as a reminder of how one should act rationally when a crucial decision appears before them.

At this point, it is only pitiful how one deludes themselves. If you are so eager in searching for this one particular inclination... Why? Why does your face clearly express how hesitant you are?

The next instant they discovered their pitiful state, instead of letting themselves fall into despair; a flickering light glinted within their eyes.

Do not deride my resolve.

Just before everything turned into nothingness, a promise has been pledged.

I am definitely going to find what I am looking for.