When dragons fight, it is the trees that are burned.

- A Quassian aphorism.

Through a raised visor, I munched on some laverbread, the flavor almost an afterthought for me. Encased in solid steel, I felt more confident and safe. Skipping beside me, Larynda was her usual whirlwind of effervescence. She had decided to wear a dagger at her waist and took with her one of the wooden practice staves I had bought for her long ago. The staff looked a little different now, strange symbols were carved upon it, in the design of animals and plants. Kidu’s work, if I was not mistaken.

Words continued to spill forth from her mouth in a cascade of curiosity and praise. In the midst of her relentless inquiries and scattered compliments, my mind drifted to the events that had led to my current predicament. A task that I would take no pleasure in.

*****

It all started as she had helped me into my plate harness. Whoever Naira had commissioned to repair my armor had done a good job. The thoughtful innkeeper had also acquired for me some iron bolts for my crossbow without any prompting. Free of charge, I hoped.

As we slowly put on my armored skin, I remembered the fight I had with the masked woman in the Silk Quarter. With sufficient levels and points invested into my attributes, I was sure I could eventually match her skill and speed. That was, after all, the nature of the game. What I could not match, at least not yet, were her lithe and flexible motions. An inkling of an idea on how to rectify this formed in the back of my mind. I would require Kidu’s help.

I found the wild man in the common area, drinking already, despite the early hour. His deep laugh was infectious, his brash ribaldry causing some of the female staff to blush. However, some had chosen to linger a touch closer, and a touch longer, than would be expected.

“Morning to you, Kidu! I see this morning finds you well!” I called out.

“Yes, this city life. It agrees with me much. No hunting for five hours in the snow. I can see how the warm landers grow soft! Though this place is hot, not warm!”

“Just so! I have come to ask a favor from you. It requires your great strength,”

“Ask,” he returned gruffly, looking away as he swallowed another bite of his breakfast.

*****

The experience had been surprising and, admittedly, a bit costly in terms of Mana. Larynda watched on in astonishment as I began to instruct Kidu. Ensuring I was at full Health, I had him force my body to stretch, tearing away unsuspecting ligaments and muscles. I then cast Heal on myself each time to mend the inflicted damage. Larynda winced painfully at the sight, but it was important to demonstrate that some achievements require sacrifice. After all, as the saying goes, ‘No pain, no gain.’ Fortunately, in this world, I could conveniently do away with most of the pain if I was careful.

Thus, I became more flexible and limber in movement than I had ever been before.

“It is as Elwin speaks. You are an odd duck,” stated Kidu a little unbelievingly, his usual deep voice a shocked octave higher.

“No, it was as you said. God-touched, yes? Without them, I would not have been able to do this. I just decided to use their blessings a little creatively,” I stated simply.

The small half-elf looked at me as if I were a loon. “Why you have to go that far, though? I know you didn’t cry out, which was scary an’ all, but it still musta really really hurt like… So why?” interrupted the small half-elven child.

I thought about the encounter with the masked woman again, remembering being bested. Searching for an answer, the real reason was just experimentation. Primarily, it was to see if I could, and to do what was necessary to improve the state of my body, to get whatever small advantage I could get. However, I doubted that would be a satisfying answer for the child. Remembering the guards’ of the caravan blatherings, I decided to make that the answer.

“The Festival. I intend to enter. It will be a good test of might and will require a small degree of flexibility, no?” I answered glibly.

“I guess so,” she replied weakly.

“If Gilgamesh of Uruk is entering this Festival, then so too is Kidu of the Three Bears! These warm landers will learn how real men do things!” roared Kidu in declaration.

“If Kidu is doing it, it must be fun. So I might too!” bubbled the little girl as she stood a bit taller, getting caught up in the flow.

I quickly turned my sneer into a smile and shrugged my shoulders at the tall man, realizing that my eyes barely reached his chest.

“But before that, a little training is required, no? I have always believed that to learn by doing is usually the best. Larynda and I were going to do some tasks for the Adventurer’s Guild. Will you join us?”

“Pah! Not unless I have to… I must do my own training. This Festival is a test of might with no weapons, yes?”

Larynda visibly paled at Kidu’s words.

“Just so,” I succinctly answered. “No matter. Suit yourself, son of the Three Bears. Come now Larynda, we must register you with the Guild. This was your dream, right?”

*****

Registering Larynda at the Al-Lazar branch of the Guild had been a relatively simple, if not expensive affair, at six silver. More surprising than the cost was that it was allowed at all. Such contrivances that we all took for granted, such as child labor laws, simply did not exist in this world.

The woman who had taken down her details was a timid creature, too pale by far for this part of the world, and her skin was paying the price. Freckles had invaded and taken over much of her face. Still, she was efficient, and that was all that mattered in the end. Her name was Aldina, if I remember correctly.

She led the little girl upstairs to meet with the Guildmaster, no doubt to touch the Bonding Crystal and say the oath or whatever initiation rituals the Guild required. I waited on the ground floor, availing myself of the services provided. Purchasing a Health and Mana Potion, I could not help but think that the prices were, of course, horrendous. But that was the price you paid for convenience.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Like a miser checking over his hoard, I kept on checking my Mana. I willed it to rise, debating whether or not to consume my recently bought Mana potion. In the end, thrift won out and Larynda came back with a new copper badge and even more skip to her step.

Should I check on the Necromancer Vincenzio? No, I decided. The man had said he would send word, so wait I would. I would be amply awarded for my patience so I decided to let the matter rest for a bit longer.

Now was the matter of getting a job.

Walking over to the large board, only a few scraps were left, even at this time of the day. The inconvenient, impossible, or simply loathsome requests were all that were left behind. I ground my teeth in frustration, ripping out one of the notice requests.

Slay 20 Sewer Rats (Tails Required) - 8 Silver, the notice read. A hollow laugh escaped from my lips as I registered the contrived silliness of it all. Receiving a few odd looks and I worried frown from Larynda, I simply had to admit to myself one thing. If this wasn’t proof that this world was nothing more than a game, then I do not know what would. It was almost as if the universe itself was mocking my earlier resolution to take this world more seriously.

*****

The walk to the nearest entrance of the Perfumery, the city's sewer network, was relatively uneventful, despite its location in the Silk Quarter. As I passed by the rough tanneries and rougher dwellings, a disheveled individual, a desperate Dust addict with glazed, wild eyes, accosted me. He begged for a few coins, but my response was a quick kick, sending him on his way. As expected, the city folk around us didn't spare a single glance in our direction.

“Whatever you do, don’t grow up to be like one of those,” I suggested to Larynda.

“You don’t have to tell me twice. That’s exactly what I don’t want to be like!” was her surprisingly mature response. I had expected an entreaty to be kinder.

Turning a corner, I stopped suddenly. Larynda skidded to a halt behind me, bumping into my back. I stood in front of some serious-looking gates guarded by some very mean and rough sorts. The construction was decorated with hellish imagery, the dark wood banded with steel. Before the gates, were what I assumed to be the Perfumers, the maintenance workers and de facto guards of the sewers. The greater part of them wore heavy armor of varying quality, type, and styles and only a few of them were in civilian clothing. However, they all wore the same uniform lantern at their hips.

A sour stench, just a hint of it, for the time being, emanated sinisterly from beyond. We had arrived at our destination, the entrance to the sewers of Al-Lazar.

To supply a city as dense in population as the City of Dust with water was a monumental proposition and ensuring its sanitation with the limited advancements of this world, doubly so. Along with the briefest of explanations, the receptionist had provided me with a rough map of the sewer network, and from my cursory study of it, it truly was almost as impressive a feat of engineering as the city above. The maintenance of such a sanitary network alone would cost a fortune daily.

And thus it was the Perfumed Men, the sewage workers of the city, that this humble duty fell upon. Funded by the Council of Al-Lazar, they were essentially an arm of the local government, and like most things run by governments, woefully inefficient and ineffective. It was the Guild of Adventurers that took up the slack, culling the multitude of things that bred in the dark depths of the sewers. It was an example of outsourcing, the lazy last resort of failed administrators.

“You one of the new ones? Copper rankers, right?” a large bulky man asked, stepping up to me and not-so-subtly blocking my way.

I looked at him square in the eyes, willing my expression to be a pleasant one. On a basic human level, I found it to be difficult to treat such an ugly person in a pleasant manner. A scraggly beard did little to hide a face that had never recovered from its war with acne, and his eyes looked in different directions like a crazed chameleon. Despite his horrid excuse for a face, this man was more muscle than fat, if the thick exposed neck above his armor and wide shoulders were anything to go by.

“Aren’t the pair of you… well a little scrawny and young to be going into the Perfumery? Ain’t exactly the place fer…” he continued, nattering on like an old woman.

“I am stronger than I look. Likely more so than you. And the girl, she can probably kill everyone here with a few words. We are here on a ridiculous quest to kill twenty Sewer Rats. Now step aside and let us in,” I commanded, still in my most pleasant voice. Larynda stuck out her tongue at him.

“Ho! Ho!” he laughed off my claim, “The brazen balls on this one!” His toothless comrades chuckled alongside him. “Be our guest. Just thought of giving you a piece of advice. People have died down there, is all. Lost a few mates over the years. You can’t be careless down there,” he answered placatingly. I noticed there was an edge of nervousness in his voice.

“Mate, just you know you ain’t the first to be going down today. Another groups has been down there since yesterday evening. One of you lot,” he commented. “Also, likes, you should probably be at least taking a torch or lantern down there. We can rent you one out at a reasonable price… All of you be needing one if you want to go down.”

“We will be alright, but thank you,” I stated tightly,

“Perhaps, you don’t get it. You be needing one to go down, and the price of a rental goes up the longer I’m talking,” he stated no-so-subtly.

“As I said, we will be alright,” I replied firmly, unwrapping a cloth bundle from my boiled leather satchel. A bright piece of Zajasite answered his suggestion.

He wiped his forehead with an armored forearm, the gesture more symbolic than anything else. “Well I’ll be, that’s a stone from the Travelling People. They don’t give ‘em out or sell them to outsiders,” he said awestruck, the flame of avarice burning brightly in his odious features.

“They don’t. Now, may I enter, or must I make a formal complaint to the Guild? Step aside,” was my simple and flat response.

He looked around nervously, probably thinking to make light of the situation. I looked at him with eyes, dead in their seriousness, willing him to say anything out of order so I could have the merest of excuses to end him.

“Yeah, can we go in now or do I have to kill 'em all like you said, Gil?” Larynda cut in with childish innocence, drawing worried glances from the men around them.

“Mate, no need for any o’ that now. Is the rules that you have to pay us for the service,” he answered worriedly.

Something was afoot here, the receptionist at the Guild had made no mention of this. This whole thing, truly, stank of simple corruption.

“No. No, you were not. I know your type. You were trying to threaten me. Now you are probably wondering how you can rob me. See this stone? Take it from me if you can. I invite you to it,” I offered, giving them each a confident smile. “I dare you all.”

The big man looked for support from the men behind him but found none. Perfect.

“Likes I said, now, there be no need for that. That stone be more than enough to pay fer going in for a year…” he said, nodding to himself as he came closer.

I answered him with an armored backhand that knocked him almost spinning to the ground. He reached for a round mace at his waist as he tried to regain his feet, but I simply kicked at it with a steel boot, knocking it out of his grip.

“You… can’t be doing this,” he wheezed, a bloodied and broken nose adding to his beauty. “I’ll be reporting this to the City Guard and your Guild I will!”

I noticed his friends looking in different directions, slowly edging away from him at an appropriately cautious speed.

“The contemptible blatherings of the weak. You will do no such thing, because if you do… well you won’t be able to do much after. Let’s leave it at that. Oh, come to think of it, you have wasted quite a bit of my time on what should have been a relatively simple procedure.”

“Was a shakedown if you ask me, Gil,” commented the little girl, her childish voice at odds with the content of her words.

“Yes, you are most likely correct. That it was. Here I was thinking for a moment that this city was meant to be civilized. Disappointment, it follows me wherever I go,” I lamented comically, as I sent out my searching spell. A trick I had learned to keep people off balance.

Arif Rashid - Sewage Worker (Human lvl.12)

Health: 101/147

Stamina: 28/31

Mana: 7/7

“Don’t you think I deserve a token of apology for this heinous waste of time? Arif Rashid,” I demanded.

I had grown to love Identify, for its utility in breaking down a person’s worth into objective numbers.