Chapter Eight: A Lady's Love

Calivar kissed me for the first time atop the tower. I looked out into the late afternoon, over the shadows slowly drawing over Estivalia and the waters of the harbor shining like molten gold, and when I turned he was inches away from me. His expression was a happy daze, his eyes seeing in me the same beauty as a sunset. He drew closer and, though I had plenty of opportunity to turn my head or back away, instead my lips parted, and then his warm lips were upon mine. It was different from kissing Meliswe… very different, and I'd be hard-pressed to say which I liked more. It'd be like asking if I preferred applejack over a root beer float. With Meliswe, it was like we were twinned souls merging into one another, and with Calivar it was like I was yielding to something wonderful and warm. He pressed me against the sun-baked wall, kissing me, our tongues mingling, his hand running down my side, down between my legs.

"Oh!" My eyes popped open and I gradually came to my senses. "I'm… I'm not sure I'm ready for this," I said.

"But you liked it," he stated.

"I did… but I'm… I'm still coming to terms with this arrangement."

Calivar adjusted his trousers and grinned. "Then I'll wait. A prince has no lack of opportunity, but I've never anticipated something so much… not since I've come here and not before. You are sweet to savor, and I will not make you bitter by plucking unripe fruit. Tell me that you desire me, and I'll be content until our wedding."

I approached Calivar, pressing against his solid body and standing on my tiptoes so I could kiss him. "I do. I've never desired a man before... not like this... but I desire you. Even so, I'm still coming to terms with who I am."

"Rome was not built in a day," he agreed. "Thank you for trusting me enough to spend time with me, even though we were enemies in another life. Even though our enemies here yet conspire to kill us both. I'll return you to your mother's contingent… no doubt they'll want to make the bronze gate by nightfall."

We flitted down from the tower - flying down took a lot less out of me than flying up, since it was basically a controlled fall and I had a pretty good feel for how to direct myself by then. I kept my hands at the front of my dress to keep it from billowing up, but the back was still doing some pretty wild things. From how Calivar was situated, I think he was getting quite an eyeful of Laeanna's lace-covered derriere, and his sheepish grin when we touched down a minute later all but confirmed it. He took me back to the hall where Alathea and most of the Vernal contingent were assembling and made a show of kissing me again.

This kiss was a lot more chaste, with no hands ranging southward and only the slightest hint of tongue action. His lips touched mine, my own lips parted, and one of my lithe legs popped up to press myself into him. Thanks, muscle memory! Everybody saw. The queen had a sly grin… even if I wasn't really her daughter, her same maternal instincts were there, and she could tell exactly what the happy butterflies in my tummy were telling me. And Meliswe… she looked hurt and confused. My heart skipped a beat when I realized what she must have been thinking, and I realized how those poor fish in the pool must have felt, being torn by the draw of two powerful poles. I shot her a panicked look, but I only got to see an instant of deep anguish before she turned away and pretended to be busy with other things.

"I'm glad you and the prince are getting on, my sweet," Alathea said. "I'll be staying for two more days, as the Queen of the Autumnal will be arriving shortly and she and I have much to discuss, but you and your guard should proceed back to Vernal. I'm sure you'll have much to do as we prepare. It was good seeing you, Calivar… why, it seems you were just a fresh-winged boy last I saw you…"

"Time is fleeting, Queen Alathea." Calivar bowed slightly. "May I say: your daughter is full of surprises, but no unwelcome ones. I hope I'm not being crass when I observe that many beautiful women - and handsome men, no doubt - are shallow creatures who coast upon the veneer of their looks. But Laeanna has unexpected depths, and she is a treasure that I shall cherish. Were there to be no union between our realms, I should consider myself a lucky man to have known her for a day."

If I thought I knew how to butter an officer up, Knut Dietrich knew how to wrap them in bacon and serve them on a biscuit. Alathea wasn't one to be easily manipulated, but her smile sure looked genuine as she approached the prince and kissed him on the cheek. I heard her whisper something to him, though I couldn't make it out. He winked at me, made another brief bow, and broke into his cocky smile just when he'd turned away enough that he thought nobody could see it. As soon as the porters were done packing the wagons - including a whole wagon of gifts to me from the enamored citizens of Estivalia - we departed down the broad brick road, the curious throngs of the city once again turning out to catch a glimpse of the fair foreign princess as we left.

+++++

The first five minutes of our journey were perhaps the most awkward of my life. Since the queen and her contingent were staying behind, that left me and Meliswe as the only VIPs, along with one carriage of functionaries returning with records, ledgers, and other paperwork. We had twenty guards riding beside us, but the inside of our carriage was large enough to fit plenty of awkwardness. The two of us rode in silence, with me casting concerned looks in her direction and Meliswe absolutely refusing to meet my gaze. I hated myself for hurting her, just as I'd hated myself for being unfaithful to Abigail, but the difference was that Abigail had never found out.

"What is this?" I said eventually.

"Apparently nothing," she said. "Nothing, my lady."

She still wouldn’t meet my gaze. I wished she would, partly because I was really worried that she was crying. I let us ride in silence for another minute before asking: "Is this because I kissed Prince Calivar?"

"No." Meliswe finally looked at me, and I could see that she had been crying, if only a bit. Her brow shifted down, her expression changing from hurt to accusatory. "You are betrothed… of course he would kiss you. It's only proper. But… but I could tell. When he did, your heart was joyous. You cannot fake that sort of affection. You love him."

I grasped Meliswe's hands, and she let me, but her hands just sat there in my palms like dead fish.

"Meliswe… I don't love the man. I barely know him." I huffed - a little snort of disdain that I'd never once made as a man. "You said it would be best to be fond of the prince, so long as I was also fond of you. You said that, not me. So what gives? Why are you making me feel like a rotten log for doing exactly what you said I ought to do?"

At that moment, Meliswe started crying in earnest, and whenever I tried to comfort her, she only pulled away and stuffed her face into the corner of the carriage so I couldn't get to her. I'm not sure I ever felt so low, not even after that Belgian whore stole five francs and my good cigarette tin not five minutes after I'd cheated on Abigail with her. I could only watch Meliswe cry and hope she'd stop feeling so miserable sometime soon and hope she wouldn't hate me forever and ever.

Once she had a good, long cry, Meliswe checked herself in her little pocket mirror and wiped her errant make-up and tear streaks away. She looked at me levelly, the emotion draining right out of her voice - which, honestly, was a lot worse than her being broken up or boiling mad. "I thought you loved me… I loved Laeanna, and I thought that we…" she pointed between herself and me. "I thought that we could have something that she and I never did. I hoped… I hoped that maybe you thought I was as special as I thought you were. Not the old Laeanna… you. I thought… think that you're special. Thrown from limbo into this situation, trying so hard to make things right, risking her life for a kingdom she wasn't born to, and then falling for me. For me! Meliswe Juniper, the silly mongrel-fae servant. It took weeks, but I finally felt you open up your heart to me, and I felt so special. And if you came to love a handsome prince from Estival after a year or a decade, I would have been overjoyed that this royal duty you never asked for wasn't a chore. But no… I saw you swooning for him after less than a day! You're going to fall for every pretty maid and dashing noble who gushes over how pretty you are. You are not the person I thought you were, Lariborn."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"I…" now I was crying. "I'm sorry… I was too caught up in this… in this everything. I didn't even think, but I should have. If I'm not the person you thought I was… well, then maybe I can be that person. Please?"

After a moment, she took a deep breath, visibly trying to quell the urge to weep again. "When Queen Alathea returns to the palace, I will request her leave to depart your service. Please don't dissuade her from granting it."

"I won't." I looked at my slim little hands, clenching and unclenching them into fists. Boy, did I feel like a dog. I wished I'd never laid eyes on Calivar… why couldn't he have been a sniveling little snot? But it wasn't his fault, either. "If that's what you want, I won't stop you."

We spent the night at the fortress just outside the Bronze Gate. Each fae kingdom had fortresses at either side of the tracts of wilderness between their kingdoms so they could provide escorts to rich merchants and other VIPs and occasionally trek out into the wild hills and forests to root out the raiders who inevitably snuck in to roost and played havoc with trade between the kingdoms. Meliswe asked my leave as soon as I was shown to my room, and I granted it. I could see to my own bedtime needs and I didn't want her to see me weeping. I cried myself to sleep, alternating between mourning what I'd lost and feeling low over what I'd done to Meliswe, who didn't deserve to feel anything but love and joy.

+++++

At dawn, we went into the wilderness through the bronze gate. As I boarded the royal wagon it was with one of the queen's functionaries rather than Meliswe. She curtsied and offered an apologetic smile.

"If you like, I can try to cram into the other carriage, my lady," she said. "Meliswe was feeling unwell this morning and didn't want to risk making you ill. I promise I can be good conversation… or quiet as a mouse, which ever pleases your highness."

I sighed - perhaps this was for the best. "Why don’t you tell me about yourself?"

As was the case with most people in the queen's employ, Becounia was part fae. She was, she informed me, three-quarters fae and one-quarter sylvast, the race of forest-dwelling people with a natural affinity for plants and horticulture. They were, in fact, part-plant and would become ill if they couldn't sink their footroots into the soil and enjoy the sun for at least a few hours every week. But Becounia looked fully-fae, albeit with a slight green tinge to her skin. Little flowers also naturally sprouted from her hair, but she was scrupulous about picking them out because she thought it looked unprofessional. She was pleasant to look on, even by fae standards, with delicate features and over-earnest eyes… she didn't look much older than me. Nonetheless, she was at the helm of Vernal's forestry and cartography services and would be charged with mapping and cataloguing the new realms between Vernal and Estival once the union was completed.

"New realms… as in actual new land?"

"Oh, yes, my lady… the wilderness will shrink, and perhaps even disappear if we're lucky - no more raiders or campaigning armies between the kingdoms. And new lands will open up for many miles. Between our two realms, we can expect quite a bit of forest and jungle. Mostly forest on our end, and maybe some meadow or even scraggly badlands. They're ugly places but usually rich in metals, so barren tracts aren’t all bad. We'd also stand to gain some seacoast… we've got a betting pool as to whether Lake Selvacia will become an ocean, an inland sea, or simply a bigger lake."

"And this is all… it's magic?"

Becounia laughed with delight. "You learned all of this decades ago, princess! No need to humor me with idle conversation… I'll prattle on and on, but I wouldn't want to fritter your time." Her voice dropped to a whisper, as if somebody might be listening in on us. "But… tell me, my lady, what of Calivar?" She tugged at the collar of her blouse. "He was even more handsome than I'd heard. And when he kissed you…"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said.

The functionary looked down at her hands. "Yes, my lady. I'm sorry for speaking out of place."

I felt a bit bad about swatting her down like that, but I was still working over what to think. I was worried that, when I next met up with Calivar, either for our wedding or for some event leading right up to it, all I'd be able to think about was how he'd ruined what I had with Meliswe. Would I hate him for that, or would his easy charm carry my concerns away and take me back to the land of happy butterflies and sighing into the arms of a strong man?

"I didn't mean to make things awkward," I said eventually. "I… I'm nervous about getting married, that's all. And I'm honestly very interested in how the realms change during a union. Like you've said, I learned it all years and years ago and haven't thought about it a bit since then… I've forgotten most of it, so I really appreciate the information. Explain it to me like I'm a novice."

Becounia thought that was about the greatest thing ever. Her face lit up and she pulled a little crystal from her bag. "Well… you're asking the right woman, my lady." She held the crystal in the palm of her hand and frowned at it while making patterns with her other hand… patterns very similar to what I'd used to light the 'oracularlary' the other day. The crystal glowed a verdant green. "As you know, no mortal, not even a pureblood fae, possesses pure magical energy, but some are purer than others. Being the daughter of springtime and winter, yours is aquamarine… very nearly as pure as a mortal can get. Calivar is the son of summer and autumn… another very pure talent. Combined, your orbs shine brilliant white, the power of Gaia blessing your union. And such a blessing that it might unify all of fae, provided that winter and autumn are not excluded."

"My mother's recently visited the Hibernal court and is meeting with the Queen of the Autumnal today or tomorrow."

"There you have it… the four courts united." She made the religious sign that some pious fae made - a circle with a little 'x' in it, representing Gala's union of the magical forces. "I feel so blessed that I'll live to see the union. I…"

Our carriage was suddenly jolted and we both shrieked, clutching to one another. A moment later, my combat reactions kicked in, which, if you are a good soldier, are as follows: assess the situation and then save your bacon. I heard the sounds of combat - no gunshots, of course, but the whinny of horses, the clash of metal against metal, battle-cries, and screams of agony. I didn't hear any arrows until one pierced two inches into the carriage right next to Becounia's head. For the next three seconds, my plan was: hunker down and hope for the best. With any luck, our twenty-strong escort was dealing with the raiders. Then the doors were torn open and strong arms pulled me out. I shrieked, kicked, and flailed, landing a lucky blow that made my kidnapper howl and drop me.

Agile as I was, I landed on my feet and scrambled for the bloody sword he'd just dropped. I held it with shaky arms, ready to take a cheap swing with the thing, but the raider quickly recovered and backed out of range. He was a large man, half-human and half something else… probably a sauryx, the reptilian jungle folk who populated swaths of Estival, as well as some of Vernal's wetlands. I took a swing at him, but he blocked it with his shield, more amused than anything. I could see Becounia watching from the carriage with wide-eyed terror. If she'd only distracted him, I might have been able to get a good blow in… not that my sword skills were any good. He blocked another swing with his shield… he'd been wielding the weapon with one arm, but I could barely manage it with two… except…

I raised my left hand and made the symbols - my right arm could barely keep the sword up by itself, but I managed for the two seconds it took to make the symbols, channel my mana, and use the sword as the conduit. The sky boomed with a thunderclap as a single lightning bolt flashed down and struck the man. His charred and electrocuted body stood in place for one second before tipping over like a felled tree.

"The bitch is a fucking sorceress! I thought the intel said her magic stopped working!"

"Well the intel was fucking wrong!"

I thought they were referring to me but, alas, Sir Scaly of the Char Court was the only one around to witness my spell and he was very dead. My guards and kidnappers had all killed one another except for him. But there were more men further forward, and they were dealing with another sorceress, which meant Meliswe. At that moment, I could have grabbed Becounia's hand and fled into the woods. All attention was fixated on Meliswe and the remaining few Vernal guards - there's a good chance that nobody would spot us fleeing. Hell, I'd probably never see Meliswe again in any case… but she deserved better than that. And I wanted to be the person she'd thought I was and not just some frightened doughboy who wanted to keep his ass out of the fire.

"You leave her the hell alone!" I shouted and I stormed toward the remaining men.

I raised the sword, preparing for another righteous lightning strike… maybe I could take out a few of them at once. I barely had time to register the blow to the back of my head when everything went black.