I could barely remember who I was as I sat there, trying to remember nothing. I knew this wasn't my home, but that didn't matter. I was safe.
Suddenly, a large beige object appeared in front of me. I knew I shouldn't care, because it was just an arm, but it was almost like I'd never seen an arm before. I reached for it. As my hand neared it, I heard a laugh. A man picked me up and held me in his arms. He rocked his arms, and let out a slight chuckle.
"He's so cute, isn't he Carmen?" he said, turning to the right.
I recognized the voice, and managed to recognize it to a name a vaguely remembered as Hector. That made me remember, I was a child of Carmen and Hector. But wasn't I a grown woman? I could remember something about that. That reminded me. Wasn't I mad about something? A betrayal? Then I could remember a part of it. That... woman had been so nice to me, said that I was becoming a threat and that she would send me somewhere safe to live where we couldn't cause problems for each other. No, that wasn't right. I was being punished, but for what? I had cleaned... that place for her, and was essentially told to go and live a life where I would be looked down on by everyone. I had believed that God couldn't be as cruel as all those people who had fucked me over so many times. I thought God would be another Tim, but I was wrong. She was just another fucker who had-wait who was Tim? I knew I had loved him like a father, but why?
No. No I wouldn't forget Tim. Even if I had to give up all of my memories, I wouldn't give up Tim. I wanted to scream through my little childlike lungs. And because I had no ability to filter my thoughts from my actions, I did.
"Well, maybe you're tired. we'll let you sleep and go work in the other room. Come on Hector, put him down," called a feminine voice, supposedly this Carmen.
"Fine Carmen. Have a good sleep, little Hadran."
The man put me down, and I could feel claw shaped bruises beginning to form on my side. I still screamed, all the while cursing that shitty goddess for trying to make me forget Tim. I swear, I thought, I will kill you someday you shitbag in the sky.
Ding! You've successfully made your first blood pact. By swearing on something with true conviction while bleeding, you have made a blood pact. Pact Skill feature unlocked! 1 Pact Skill unlocked.
Pact Skill: God Killer's Determination (Minor) Tier 1: By making a pact to kill a god, you have the ability to harness the aura of a demon and push through celestial defenses.
I didn't know what to think of this, because it seemed like I was losing the ability to think. I vaguely remembered something about memories being downgraded earlier, but had fallen asleep before I could look into it. Before I could question this "Pact Skill", I receded into the stupor of a child.
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As far as I could tell it took about 6 months for me to be able to think again. When I was aware enough, I realized that I had grown attached to my new parents. I laughed whenever I saw them, and they would always give me what I needed but not enough that it would hurt me. I had truly become Hadran, and whoever I had been before was dead. I was happy with my life, even though the blood pact always hovered in my mind.
At that point, I wasn't aware enough to know what the blood pact was, but I still remembered Tim. He was just a name and a warm feeling in my head, but he was there and made me happy.
My parents often seemed confused by me after that point though. I would respond normally to them, but whenever I thought something, I would grow still and begin to whimper. My mother always thought that meant I was pooping and surprisingly, she was often right. Being a baby was hard. My father was different though. Whenever I stopped, he would too, and look at me like I was an old friend walking away for the last time, as though he was about to cry from losing something he loved.
It took me two months to stop shitting when I thought. I could also hear rather well by that point, and could hear my parents talking about me sometimes.
"Carmen there's something off about him. He barely cries, and when he does it seems like he's angry about it."
Well, it seemed like my father wasn't an idiot who cried every time someone stopped moving.
"Don't be silly Hector. He's only pooping, Cardel stopped moving when she was pooping too. Every baby does it." Came my mother's smooth, calming voice. She had an odd calming quality to her voice, as though it were capable of healing any injury.
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"I know Carmen, I know, he just... seems different," said my father, ending very lamely.
"Hector, you know that people can't do anything on more than impulse and instinct until their Intelligence is higher than 10. Even then they need an equal Wisdom to actually plan out actions in advance. There is no possible way that a one-year-old has Attributes higher than the average three-year-old."
So, I had been unable to think for ten months? Wait, what were they talking about with this "Intelligence" and "Wisdom" stuff? Then I remembered a little bit. When I had been born there was a page in front of me, and I had known all kinds of things I shouldn't have. I tried to pull up that screen again, but nothing I could think of would do it.
After what felt like several minutes to my child brain, I thought the word "status", and the screen came up.
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Existence Statistics
Hadran Denora, level 0.01
Race: Anastien
Strength: 11
Dexterity: 11
Constitution: 23
Soul: Error 001-aaa-001: Value too high for existence.
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 12
Charisma: Infinite (12)
Traits: Heretics Memories, Tier 2; Physics Manipulation (Minor), Tier 3; Language Adaptation (Average), Tier 6
Combat Skills:
Skills:
Magical Skills:
Pact Skills: God Killer's Determination
Titles: Heretic, Hated by Creators, First Rule Breaker, Error Generation
Enlightenment: 10% to Tier 1
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Ding! You have one backed up notification.
You have reached the first major developmental point in your life! Plus 2 Intelligence! Plus 4 Wisdom! Received 2 months 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
So that was why I could think now. Even though my intelligence was already at the minimum to think, I had needed to wait for my wisdom. Another thought struck me then. Maybe it was this "developmental point" I had needed to reach before becoming sentient again. I was glad I didn't need to wait after this point, but having knowledge of how things worked in this world would definitely help me progress through life.
Ding! The True God's wishes have come into effect. Curse applied: Unknowing Intellect, your mind has been locked into a constant state of your current self, where you are completely aware, but are not in control of your body until the average age to begin leveling for your race, 4 years. 2 years, 10 months, 3 weeks, 4 days remain under the curse's effects.
Then I watched as everything around me seemed to zoom out, leaving me with a small rectangle of color and shapes to see, outside of my body watching the world in third person, surrounded by black.
The first thing I learned in the long time I was stuck like this was how my claws were supposed to work. I watched as my father would pick me up over the time I was trapped like this, getting gentler each time, and eventually shaping the claws around his hands through what I assumed was the "Physics Manipulation" trait. It seemed that the claws were chunks of stone that we were born with and controlled unconsciously, keeping them in place on our hands. Whenever my father manipulated his claws, the excess material flew to form a pair of horns floating several centimeters above his head, making him seem demonic in a way.
I watched my family and my body for a day, then two, then a week, then two, on and on. I saw how nice my parents were, and how much they loved me. I saw the sister they had mentioned prior walk around and talk to them. But it wasn't me they talked to, but some weird fake soul in my body.
I managed to find a way to stop focusing on my body by staring at everything around it. Watching my body live without me was painful, but by far the worst part was the knowledge. I learned from everything my body did. I learned how to move, how to dress, how to speak, everything my body did I learned, and everything it experienced I experienced, without doing anything, and without the emotions I would feel. That really pissed me off. That shit bag in the sky hadn't even let me live through my childhood and forced me to watch as I experienced everything most children loved.
Eventually, the time had passed. My body had grown a foot, and over the course of what seemed like two hours to me, I was pulled back into my body, zooming in and losing the black barrier around my sight. The transition back to my body was completely noiseless, even including outside noises. Until I was fully reintegrated the fake was in control, and had apparently been listening to a lecture from my father which I caught the end of.
"... which is why you need to start leveling up soon and becoming strong enough to survive. After all, we don't want the pressure of people around you to make you pop!"
I made a strangled sound as I tuned in because of the fact that I had been told I could pop from being under level without any context whatsoever.
Apparently seeing my expression, my father laughed and, tousling the 6inches of hair I had grown, said, "It won't be so bad, you just need to level up once every two or three years to survive the world. Besides, getting to a level high enough to witness the wonders of the world is easy. You only need to do some simple tasks or kill some monsters."
Before I could say anything, I got a notification.
Ding! You have gained deeper knowledge of the world. Plus 5% enlightenment.
Notice. Curse: Unknowing Intellect is a permanent dormant curse. If your Intelligence or Wisdom attributes ever exceed 10 times your level, the curse will come into effect, leaving you out of control for 1 month.
Notice. If your Strength or Dexterity attributes ever exceed 10 times your level Curse Unmoving Strength will be applied. This curse is a permanent dormant curse. Curse: Unmoving Strength: You have strength beyond your reasonable limits. You cannot move in ways exceeding the limits of 1 Strength and 1 Dexterity.
Notice. If your Charisma attribute ever exceeds 10 times your level Curse Unspeaking Friend will be applied. This curse is a permanent dormant curse. Curse: Unspeaking Friend: You have an easier time making allies and avoiding conflicts with others than any of your station should. You immediately lose the ability to speak and appear presentable to anyone.