In real life I was a loser, and, to tell the truth, I was a game-world loser too. I lost all the time; I lost so much and so often that I didn’t even know how big a loser I was. But you’ve got to lose before you learn how to win, or even why you should win anyway. At least that’s what I believe now, after everything that happened:
I was walking through the Greenwood inhabiting what you might call a flavor build - a multi-class cleric/fighter/wizard - because I figured that would help me self sufficient. Yes, a flavor build, like a mess of cabbage, marmalade and kippers. I could heal, cast basic wizard buffs and fight - a bit. I was so flavor, I was flavorless.
Despite that, by constant bumbling, I was Level 10, split into 2 levels of Cleric, 2 levels of wizard and 6 levels of fighter. I was taking on mobs of my own level and failing because I was actually only a Level 6 fighter and my Level 2 healing spells were worse than useless and my buffs lasted only two minutes. You get the picture.
Even so, The Greenwood was beautiful. The developers had created a world of great beauty, and great evil at the same time. The leaves rustled, the sun peeped through the branches and the smell of the good earth filled my nostrils and flowers stuck their pretty faces up from the ground. I was looking for herbs. In the World of the Greenwood, Greenwood for short (though it’s expanded far beyond its forest origins and now includes ice caps, oceans, deserts and mighty cities), wizards get Herb skills. Herbs and Poisons play a real part in the combat system. Rangers get to max out the Herbology skill set and Poisons too, Druids only get herbs and Thieves only get poisons. I was level 2, which meant I could recognise, pick and prepare a few low level herbs. Of course, even if you can't pick a herb, you can buy it from a vendor, that's one of the things that makes the Greenwood economy tick. I planned to sell what I picked today.
I only knew Dandelion - which gave between 1-5 Health Points (HP) back once prepared and Comfrey which cured, Itch. Not that I had Itch, but I picked the Comfrey, rolled it to prepare it and put it in my herb pouch - the lovely leather herb pouch that had cost 1000 gold pieces from the vendor in my home city of Vinab. Of course, I didn’t physically put the herbs in the pouch - I transferred it to the herb pouch inventory by thought command.
To play the game, we wear helmets with transcranial receptors (TCRs), which pick up electrical activity in the brain. In real life, you think of something and that part of your brain lights up and a command goes to, say, your hand. Same thing with the TCRs - you think of putting a herb into your herb pouch and the system transfers it into the herb pouch inventory slot. A pouch can hold up to 22 kinds of herbs in stacks of 100.
There’s a Stone Cross by a junction of paths in the middle of the Greenwood. It’s a well traveled way and can be dangerous. The whole of the World of the Greenwood is a PVP area and so going to busy places when you can’t defend yourself will get you killed. Get good skills or good friends - but if you are always counting on your friends to save your back then, they'll soon get sick of that. Be self sufficient; that was the basis of my multi-class build, but I'd made it up myself rather than learning about builds from forums.
I wasn’t a stealth character so, to keep safe, I went to out of the way parts of the Forest on my herb gathering forays. I was well to the west of the Stone Cross and the undergrowth was thick. It was a hilly area near the Silver Stream and it wasn’t a place frequented by Goblins and the forest mobs left you alone unless you attacked them. There were predators in the Forest - tigers, snakes, but I had seen no traces that day. Neither had I seen any player characters. As I mentioned, it was not a well frequented area.
The sun was shining. I was happy, hell - I was even whistling.
And then I saw it.
A gold Easter Egg the size of both my fists put together lay off the path under the spreading leaves of a chestnut tree. I stood back and even stopped whistling.
I remembered that when I logged in that morning, the usual system messages and dev news scrolled by on my Heads Up Display (HUD). The developers had announced a big easter competition/event. Solving it would lead you to some serious weaponry and good XP. The devs had placed ten Easter eggs at different places in the World. The World was now huge so that meant they could be anywhere. Inside these Easter Eggs was the first clue to a puzzle. That puzzle led you to another puzzle, eventually leading to some super uber loot. I dreamed of such things - a soul drinker sword, goggles that gave you fly, underwater breathing, poison resistance 25%, boosted saves. My mouth watered. I got down on my knees and spoke to the egg like it was a little pet chicken. I reached out my greedy hand, but in my eagerness, I was clumsy and my fingertipes knocked it down the fucking hill. It was more of a slope than a hill, but it rolled like a dinky little darling all the way to the banks of the Silver Stream and bumped against a rock. I cursed and got up faster than a jumping jack and was about to run after my lovely egg when it happened.
I heard the sound of the knife and felt a blow in my back. There was a red flash and my health bar on the Hud went down by 40hp. I only had 103hp. (I was so proud of getting over the 100 too). Another message in blue: Unknown Poison. If I had better poison skills, I could have identified the poison and applied the antidote from my herb pouch - if I had the antidote. But it was clear it was Kura because I stiffened up and soon couldn’t move my arms and legs. Strong hands turned me over. I lay on my back staring into a masked face that shifted and blurred. If my Spot skill had been higher, I could have maybe seen who it was. Then he spat another poison at me - a blue flash of “Unknown Poison” then another. My right arm broke, then my left. I saw him reach into his Herb Pouch (they hold poisons too) and apply different poisons to his dagger. He stabbed me again, and I lost 45hp. “Unknown Poison” - that message was quickly becoming tedious. I was close to death. I vomited and lost 5hp. The poison was Vomwort - I knew about it but I didn’t have the skill to identify it. It made you sick so you couldn’t swallow healing potions. I even had a healing potion.
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As I watched his blurred face, I thought this was it. But it wasn’t. It was worse.
Whoever it was, reached into his pack and pulled out a rope. He tied up my legs, even though I was paralysed with two broken arms and throwing my guts up. We were at the edge of a path - even in that lonely area, too public for him to carry out whatever he was going to do. Who knows, maybe a member of the Holy Knights Guild would come along and right wrongs by kicking his ass and he wasn’t going to risk that so, he dragged me into a disused woodsman’s hut. It had a leaky roof and holes in the walls, but it was more private than the path outside. He took out another poison and spat it. My tongue rotted instantly away. I knew that one though my HUD didn’t. That was Xarak, the dreaded poison that stops magic users speaking spells and bards from singing. It was a favourite of thieves when facing those classes in combat. I couldn’t even speak my meager healing spells.
I vomited again. My health bar was flashing warnings on the HUD. I had 13hp left - 12.6%. I have both numbers and percents on my HUD. I find them both useful. They both usefully told me I was going to die.
But then the shadowy figure did a curious thing - he reached into his herb pouch, took out a Hale Fruit, cut it with his dagger and applied the juice to my skin. It would have been better if I’d eaten it, but even absorbed through the skin, it gave me back 50hp.
I smiled. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy. It was just a game - we were all here for fun, right? He didn’t know me - at least I don’t think he did - but I was pretty forgettable anyway.
“Thanks man,” I said with my tongueless mouth. It came out like, “Waa maa.”
He didn’t speak but spat a poison at me and then ordered me to take my herb pouch from my inventory and drop it at his feet. Under the power of the Quirro poison, I did just that.
I took out my herb pouch - the lovely one that had cost me such a lot of money and dropped it at his feet. I'd been too cheapskate to protect it with defensive runes. He stuffed the pouch into his inventory. Then he spat more poison and ordered me to pull off my boots. He looked at them and tossed them over his shoulder. They were crappy - 10 armour points. He cut off my leather armor. That was the best I had - 200 armour points. He kept that. He went through all my gear and either thrust it in his bag or threw it away. Then when he was done, the masked man stood, wrapped his cloak around him, gave me a cheery wave and vanished as he teleported away.
I went to yell at thin air, “You fucker! Don’t leave me like this!” Then I remembered my tongue had rotted. I couldn’t even cry out for aid. Maybe someone would come and rescue me.
I threshed and rolled and struggled but he'd tied me up good. Ropes were cheap - 5gp maybe? I guess he didn’t mind losing his round my legs and arms. I mumbled for help, but no help came. Then I vomited again losing another 5hp. I figured I was retching every five minutes. In about an hour I would die, but until then I had to lie here.
I raged. I cursed. That miserable fucker, what had I done to deserve this? What had I done to him or anyone to deserve to be stripped like this? It had taken me months of play to get all this stuff - grinding, picking, killing kobolds. It wasn’t much, but it would take me more months to replace my herb pouch. What kind of evil bastard would do this to another player? Then I remembered how naïve a question that was. Some people came to the Greenwood to let out their evil. Some people were bullies and thugs by nature. In real life they couldn’t get away with it, so they came here. PVP is a bully’s dream - people who are good at fighting might by skinny, spotty kids IRL, but here, they are the rulers.
I chucked up my guts again. I calculated I had abbout an hour to live. Maybe less now. Paralysed, broken armed, tied up, naked, unable to shout out for help.
I saw red.
“Fuck this.” I thought: LOG OUT. The system read my thoughts but there was a delay while the system warned me I was quitting. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO QUIT? You can bet your ass, I want to quit. I want to quit this useless fucking, demeaning game that made me feel so powerless like I was shit on someone’s shoe. Fuck this. This is no way to enjoy yourself - I play this game to enjoy myself, not to suffer like this. I can get beat up any day irl, if I put my mind to it. I disconnected from the system. Stood up from the chair, took my helmet and goggles off, shrugged off my gloves then I stood there and shouted at the console: "DELETE CHARACTER."
ARE YOU SURE? SPEAK THE CHARACTER'S NAME IF YOU REALLY WANT TO DELETE.
I spat the name in my rage. Deleted. Not like I had any possessions. It was a shit build, anyway. And then I turned and yelled, “DELETE ACCOUNT.”
Delete Account? Are you sure? This action cannot be undone.
“Yes, I’m sure.” I would not be treated like that. No way. Not by a thug who didn’t even know me.
And my account was gone. That’s what I call a rage quit. Standing there, I calmed down. I was still sore about it, but yes, I had better things to do with my life than walk about the stupid Greenwood picking herbs.
Then I remembered the Easter Egg.