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1.7 Alive

How far had she run?

Keep running.

Was it following her?

Don't look back.

Amora clenched her hands, ragdoll flower limp at her side. She could smell it even as she ran. A bleeding fragrance in a blanket of terror.

It was laughing at her.

The shadows grew long, stretching down as a single curtain of black. She squinted through, scanning the trees ahead.

Where were the marks?

She just had to get back. Back on the path. Then she would know the way.

Amora slowed for a moment, craning her neck closer.

No marks. Nothing. Just another painfully identical tree.

Amora grit her teeth. She could hear her legs creaking, softly shouting for a break. She shook her head, forcing herself further.

Forcing herself to keep moving.

Her knees disobeyed. Buckling, as stumbling exhaustion dropped her onto snow ground. Amora yelped, skidding forward, sending shower of wet snow into the air before face-planting hard.

“Mrrh”

She lifted her head and spat out something.

Somehow, the forest seemed quieter now. Almost calmer. Amora lay there, slowly sinking deeper into snow. A respite from frozen winds. She felt weariness pull on her eyelids, and that slow whisper of temptation. Rest. She blinked hard. Rest? Amora scoffed. In the middle of nowhere with a giant spider on the loose? Yeah no thanks. She brought her hand up, using her arm to wipe her face off and let out a slow shaky breath.

Still…she did run pretty far.

Maybe she was safe now-

Amora's eyes widened. What was tha-

That smell.

It encased her, an overhanging veil, clenching over her frame with heinous heaviness. An acrid omen.

It was here.

Her wet hair whipped in a wide arc as she turned.

And it was close.

Amora pushed herself up, squinting hard. Desperate to see- or not see anything. She swallowed. Her spear felt weak under her grip. Smaller. Any malicious inconsistency or trace of hostility would send her sprinting again.

Where was it?

It had to be near or the sme-

She looked up.

A hairy leg outstretched.

Amora screamed as she fell onto her back.

She rolled to her side. Scrambling to lift the spear. Driving it up with both hands.

Its giant body recoiled. Pulling its arm back with speed as its head twitched down in surprise.

Amora stood, paralysed beneath black eyes. Her entire body screamed as it slowly shuffled down the tree. But she didn't dare move. To turn her back. She could hear popping and creaking as its jaw unhinged itself, spilling thick gobs of white liquid onto the ground beside her.

Slowly, it forced its fangs together, bending them backwards violently until- it stilled. And looked at Amora. Watched her. For a reaction. It shuffled closer. Just a little. Just close enough for her to see. Close enough for her to take in the muted horror.

A Taunt? A warning?

A smile.

Eight legs unfurled from to its swollen underside. Amora’s face darkened as she watched them spread outward, fanning across the tree. It could reach her from there. And it would be all too easy. She clutched her spear in two hands, wringing it in horrible anticipation.

But neither side made any move. They both just stood there. Tethered together by a shared atavistic caution. Attentive immobility. A past beyond their own, locking them into a single perennial moment. And then it was over. And Amora stepped forward.

She made the first move. Swallowing panic as she lunged forward, whipping her spear high. The spider rocked back, still far from her reach. But Amora didn't let up. She let out a cry as she charged, swinging her spear again. The spider recoiled, drawing its legs back in.

Perhaps it was her newfound tenacity. Or maybe it was her sudden advance.

Either way, it was rattled. The spider looked down at her with contempt. No longer harmless prey, but a threat. It cocked its head to the side. Black eyes catching the light as it slowly lifted a long leg behind.

And spiralled up the tree.

Amora watched its black shape disappear from sight.

Was that it?

She fell to her knees. Icy wind sharp against her face, slicing away exhaustion.

Was it over?

Amora exhaled, closing her eyes as she let the warm grey cloud waft over her. Only now could she notice it. Winter. As wet snow clung blithely over her clothing. She looked down. Her hands were shaking. The ostensible plunge into coldness repelled any effort or ability to form coherent thought. Still, even in her delirium, an instinctual need for warmth drove her forward. Guiding her through the dark.

She turned-

Two giant dripping fangs.

Amora screamed, swinging her spear wide.

It retreated, fangs snapping together in a single baleful chuckle, gleefully melting back into shadow.

“How you humans love to squeal”

Another snapping sound sent her spinning again. Its voice seemed to echo around her. She raised her stick, heart beating in her ears.

And it dawned on her.

It was having fun.

And it wasn't going to stop.

Amora looked behind, steeling herself for the next appearance. The next taunt. She raised her spear, dread deepening, and-

Thump.

Her stomach lurched as she felt the ground quake behind her.

Oh.

Thump. Thump.

Amora looked down, half-smiling as she felt her arms drop to her side. It was just so comical. The forest gave no breaks. Or maybe that was its purpose.

To break her.

---

She ran blind. With only instinct to guide her as she sank further into the night. Amora could hear more thumping and a single, sickening scraping sound. Something changed. She felt it. There was no point in standing her ground. And even as her body whipped forward in a primal, survivalist charge she knew it was all but futile. Worthless against the vice of inevitability.

It was chasing her.

And it was getting closer.

Its giant legs stomped loudly in its pursuit, sending shockwaves through the forest.

The trees, immobile as they were, could only quake in fear. As waves of water wept from the canopies above.

Amora felt the wetness on her back as she ran. Head throbbing to the deafening pulse of her heart, a haunting dirge growing louder as the beast neared.

It was too quick. She had to run faster. Somehow she had to-

She slammed into a tree. Hard bark cutting into her face. Amora clutched her nose as she bounced onto wet ground. She flung her other hand out, desperately blinking away hot tears, feeling around for her fallen weapon.

Amora exhaled in relief as she raised the spear high. Silently thankful it hadn’t landed far. She rose. Back pressed against the tree. Knees buckling violently as adrenaline waned. She heard it come. The thundering of its approach. And then- A soft fluttering. The beating of something softer. Gentler.

She looked up.

Thump.

Amora could feel it loom over her. And although she couldn’t quite see it, she could smell its metallic breath. She imagined it grinning. Lips peeled back in a predatory smile, knowing it had completely cornered its prey.

Amora struck out blindly, unleashing a flurry of jabs into empty air ahead. She frowned, quickly swinging her spear in a wide sweep. The stick slammed into its side, sending a jolt rippling up her arm. Amora pulled back, swinging again-

A large paw descended from the skies slamming her across her body, catapulting her into the arms of another tree. Amora cried out as she landed, folding across the wooden beam like a ragdoll. She flopped over onto her back, as blinding pain shot down her neck and shoulder.

Amora rose dizzily, running her tongue over her split lip and grimacing at the metallic taste.

The creature swiped at her.

Amora rolled. She felt wind pressure pass over her and heard it slam the ground behind. Without looking back, she twisted, springing off her legs and thrusted forward.

Her stick met flesh. She felt the impact against it's tip and the entire shaft buckled. She pushed on, straining with the full weight of her body until-

Snap.

The bear creature shrieked.

She stabbed it! She stabbed it! She did it!

Amora looked down at her hands. At Big Stick.

Or… what was left of it.

She looked up, eyes widening as a tail slammed down.

She raised an arm to brace and felt something crack, force crumpling her into the ground. She curled up, shielding her head.

It slammed again.

And again.

And again.

Amora wasn't sure when she stopped screaming.

But it was probably the same time she stopped struggling.

Her leg was twisted. Broken. Warm blood rushed down the side, pooling at the base of her pants.

And the pain was-

Was-

The pain?

Huh.

There wasn't any pain.

Amora could barely feel anything anymore.

Not the cold ground. Or her shoulder. Or her leg.

There was just.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Exhaustion.

Amora laid there. On her back. And waited for the next blow. She felt her splintered stick roll out of her grip and closed her eyes. For some reason, that felt better. More appropriate.

They say your entire life flashes before you when you're about to die. That in your final moments you get to relive all those significant events. Your triumphs. Your failures. The things that mattered. That made you matter.

But what did Amora see?

Tears pooled in her eyes. She tried blinking them away but a single tear escaped, rolling down the side of her cheek and streaking across her nose, before dripping down onto snow.

She could feel it stare at her broken body and wondered what was taking it so long. She thought about what would come after. If there would be an after. And what she would even taste like.

She’d better taste good at least.

What a waste.

But still, the blow never came.

She waited for it.

Two minutes.

Five.

Ten.

She heard it sniff. Loudly. More of a snort really. And then it moved. She heard it clearly. That loud and heavy tread.

It was leaving.

Content with simply leaving her broken.

To die alone.

---

Amora bit her lip and scrambled forward. Her leg felt cold and numb as her pants clung tightly to her, drenched with blood. She’d tried to stand straight, but her body couldn't support itself, collapsing under the pressure. So she settled on a strange bent position, half crawling with her one good arm and dragging her leg behind her.

She didn't know where she was going. Or why she even bothered pushing on.

But she felt… She wanted…

No. She couldn't say it. She couldn't bear to.

Not when-

Not when she could still smell it.

Not when that acrid odour still hung over her.

Not when…the spider never left.

It was close. And it was watching her. But there was no laughter. No sound. Just- nothing.

“Where are you!?”

Amora croaked, shouting into the abyss. But no response came. Her hand slipped as she wobbled dangerously, falling back into cold snow.

Amora grit her teeth as she pushed herself, flipping over onto her back.

She stared up.

And the spider dropped.

She would have screamed if she could. But she didn't have the energy. So Amora let out a feeble whimper as it landed soundlessly, legs spreading out around her. It shifted its swollen belly, seemingly careful not to crush Amora with its weight.

“Poor child. You poor thing. It hurts doesn’t it?”

“You hate it don't you?”

“You want it to stop”

It moved its head closer. So close she could see small brown hairs growing from the flat of its face and a thin coat of white on its front fangs. It shifted closer still, stopping an inch from her face. Amora opened her mouth and felt something drip onto her cheek.

“Shhh Shhh. Don't scream. I can help. I can help you child”

Slowly, it tilted its head back, opening its giant maw. Another wave of malodour wafted over Amora. It was stronger, so overpowering it was physically asphyxiating. She looked into its mouth. At the tiny shark-like teeth lining its walls. Was that what it looked like? Was this the last thing she would see? Smell? Tears sprang in her eyes as Amora looked away, helplessly straining her neck to the side.

But she wanted… she wanted to…she wanted to…

“Live… I want to live”

The spider hesitated, mouth still agape, and pulled back in surprise. As if it forgot Amora could talk. Or make a sound. Or have any opinion whatsoever on her own wellbeing.

“Hmm”

It shifted its head, studying her with black eyes. Amora turned back, facing the monster. She could see her reflection in them, even in the dark. She looked so frail. So helpless.

“How I pity you little human”

The spider pulled back, stretching its legs straight as it lifted off. It paused, hovering over her body for a second as it seemed to contemplate its decision. Just a second. And Amora prepared for the worst.

And then it just- left.

Amora watched it ascend up a tree and disappear into shadow.

“Why?”

She felt so defeated. So weak. Why was she alive? Why did they just leave her? Would it come back? Where was it?

Amora felt this before. This helplessness. It seemed to find her. Like a magnet. Again and again and again and again. She flipped over onto her stomach, biting back the pain.

She was so tired of it all. Of crying. Of screaming. Of running. Of breaking.

Those monsters, the animals, the trees, everything. Is this what she felt before? Before she lost all her memories, is this what she was feeling? Is this what she was doing? There had to be more. More than this forest. There had to be something. To make it all worth it. Or would she be stuck here forever? Is this what her existence would be? An infinite struggle ending in some horrible inevitable death. What was the point? What type of pitiful existence was this? She lived forgotten and would die forgotten. No. There had to be something more.

Amora was angry. Perhaps she could swear at the world. At the injustice. But who could hear her? Who could she blame? Aiken? Hanley? She could blame them. But no. She was just tired.

Tired of it all.

Something had to change. Something had to. Something.

But was there even any point?

Amora trembled, pushing all thoughts aside. She didn't have the energy.

Still, didn't she just say it? To a giant spider. To certain death.

She pushed herself up, putting her weight onto her good knee.

Because there was a point.

There was something.

Something that overpowered it all.

The sadness. The fatigue. The despair. The helplessness. The rage.

She let out a slow trembling breath. And whispered.

It was soft. So soft, frozen winds swallowed it instantly. So soft she herself could not hear it. But it was power. And it was a promise.

Slowly, she closed her eyes. And inhaled.

Direction.

A Lone lodestar under the bloodless sky.

She stuck a hand out, gripping a fist full of snow. And crawled back the way she came.

---

Tervel stood in front of the blue door.

He looked up at the spiral handle and sighed loudly, his distorted, gold reflection sighing back. He paused, flashing a quick smile at himself. It really was hard being so handsome. His eyes narrowed, peering closer, and examined the small pink gemstones that ran along its edge.

Would anyone notice if one or two were missing?

He brought a thumb up and scratched the back of his ear absentmindedly.

Probably not.

Tervel could hear muffled voices echo from behind the door. His expression sharpened and he brought an ear to cold wood. He listened, eyes closed, and whispered softly into his palm.

“Hmm. Hanley. Aiken. Oh and probably Alayna too”

He flinched back as an abrupt and distinct clinking sound broke up the chatter.

Plates. The sound of food.

“Oh, how predictable”

A sweet honeyed scent wafted up from behind the door. He recognised it. Purple pitfruit. Locally grown. Tervel had heard rumours of someone buying out half the reserve. Someone with deep pockets. Someone with an insatiable sweet tooth.

Tervel smiled, shifting his brown, baggy shirt by the shoulders. That Aiken. Honestly. How can the Captain of the Guard be such a glutton? It’s borderline criminal.

And Tervel knew criminal.

He pulled his shirt further to the side and grumbled, expression instantly souring. It really didn't fit him. No matter how he adjusted. The sleeves extended out over his hands and the hem stretched down past his knees. But…then again it wasn't exactly his so who could really complain.

“That snarky bastard it belonged to I guess”

Tervel folded a sleeve back and wondered if they noticed him yet. He’d been standing outside the door for a long while now so it was only a matter of time.

But not yet.

At least he hoped not. That would definitely spoil it.

Tervel grinned, eyes glinting devilishly as he raised his arm up. He placed the hand against the door, unkempt fingernails scratching off blue paint as he flattened his palm.

First rule of being a master thief:

Always make an entrance.

Tervel pushed forward, door swinging wide as he laughed at the top of his lungs.

“YOU GUYS MISS-”

Now what comes to mind when you think of a goblin?

Green. Short. Nimble. Smart. Handsome.

Incredibly humble.

Well…maybe that was just him.

The handsomest goblin in all of Vandryl blinked down at the blade pressed against his neck.

Huh. So they really hadn't noticed him.

He really was that good.

Tervel smiled wider, gloating, as he looked up from Hanley’s sword.

He never really liked Hanley. That was no secret. But as lines of red bled through the ridges of his folded skin, he couldn't help but feel a little admiration for him. Hanley seemed to glow like those great monsters of Isfan legend. Tervel looked away and met Alayna’s eyes as she half-rose out of her seat. She wavered, and then relaxed, taking her hand off the hilt of her sword as she sat back down.

Now there was a girl with smarts.

He turned back to Hanley. He had somehow made it all the way to the door as Tervel came through. He tried stepping forward but Hanley kept his sword pressed below his chin. Paranoid bastard. What Alayna saw in him, Tervel would never understand.

“Hello Terve-”

Aiken looked up from his plate, unphased, and calmly set aside his napkin. Had he known he was behind the door? He paused mid-sentence as Tervel put a finger up.

“No, wait Aiken. Before you say anything”

He pushed Hanley’s blade away with the front of his hand and stepped forwards, sticking out his wrists with a toothy grin.

“I’d like to turn myself in”

Aiken hesitated.

“Err again?”

“Yup. I feel as though it is my obligation as an upstanding Valandrian to help arrest any and all criminals that would dirty our city”

Hanley scoffed loudly and Alayna ducked her head, hiding a smile behind blue hair.

Oh this was fun.

Aiken coughed politely into his fist, pushing a plate to the side and gestured at the seat beside him. Hanley grumbled as Tervel strode forward confidently, sheathing his sword loudly before taking his own seat alongside Alayna.

“You can stop pushing your hands out like that. You look like an idiot”

“You were gone for a while. What did you do this time?”

Tervel shrugged.

“Oh just another job well done”

Tervel reached across the table, grabbing a piece of purple fruit from Aikens plate. He bit in and grimaced as the sugary fruit melted in his mouth. He’d forgotten how excruciatingly sweet pitfruit was. How Aiken liked them, he had no clue.

“Where did you go?”

Alayna said, leaning in, black eyes wide with curiosity.

Aiken made a face as Tervel placed the half eaten fruit back onto his plate. Tervel paused, wiping wet hands on his shirt.

“Well, my darling Alayna, that’s exactly why I am here”

“Oh? I thought you were here to turn yourself in?”

Tervel ignored Hanley, and turned from Alayna to Aiken, his expression growing serious.

“I went to her house”

“Whose?”

“You know. The house. Her house. Hers”

Aiken’s eyes widened as he shot up out of his seat. He slammed the table, causing all the plates to jump.

“Tervel! You know what she is capable of! You, better than anyone, know the danger!”

Tervel nodded, ears flattening as he looked down. He grabbed the side of his shoulder. Memory throbbing violently.

“She wasn’t there”

Aiken stilled, hand still planted in the centre of the table.

“What do you mean she wasn't there?”

“I couldn’t find her, but both her invisibility and reinforcement orbs were still intact”

“So she just… left?”

Tervel shook his head.

“No. Well I mean she was crazy but she loved that house. There’s no way she would have just abandoned it and-”

He lowered his voice and looked around the room.

“There were signs of struggle”

---

“It doesn't make sense! Someone like her doesn't just disappear!”

“Like I said, her whole place was trashed. So I doubt she had much in the matter”

“She's not so weak-”

Aiken raised a hand, lenses flashing, and Hanley's jaw snapped shut.

“When do you think this happened?”

Tervel shrugged.

“There’s no telling when exactly but … it's been a few weeks at least. Months maybe”

Hanley groaned. That long?

“Do you know how we can find her? If we can? Do you know where she could have gone if she wasn’t…”

Tervel shook his head slowly.

“I don't. I'm not- Look, Aiken. I want to help. But I'm not a tracker. I'm a Thief. If you want to find her maybe send someone that knows what they're doing”

“No”

Aiken shouted vehemently. He paused, blinking at the forcefulness of his answer and softened. Aiken looked up and sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. He looked back at the faces in the room, one by one until settling on Tervel.

“No. This does not leave this room. The last thing we need is for this to get out. For the humans to get wind of this. We cannot afford to be seen as weak right now”

Tervel nodded and Alayna opened her mouth.

“What does it matter? It’s been four years since she shut herself off from everyone. How would anyone know she’s gone”

“The people that attacked her. They know she’s gone. They’ll know we are weaker. And if they tell-”

Aiken moved his hand back and sat down in his chair.

“I don’t think we have to worry about that. At least for now. If they wanted to tell people, we surely would have heard about it”

Hanley watched his captain sit and followed suit.

“Well we can’t just wait! We should double the guards. Maybe send in some people to see if they get any more information”

Alayna nodded.

“Hanley is right. We can’t just sit here”

“And we won't. But first we have to call a meeting. A secret one. With all the city leaders. They need to know. And we need to plan our next step carefully”

Tervel found himself nodding as well and smiled. He was right to come here.

“Now that that’s sorted out”

He stood up and brought his wrists forward again.

Aiken looked at him blankly and sighed.

“Listen Tervel. We could really use your expertise in the matter. You know her better than anyone. Join us. I'll even give you a place in the guard if you want. What good is sitting in a cell. Surely you’d rather put your talents to use?”

“I do plenty. And honestly I’d rather just sit in with free meals and wait”

“Tervel, I swear I will spit in your food you little imp!”

Tervel looked up sharply. And, to everyone's surprise, his expression softened. And his voice trembled.

“Look. Hanley. Aiken. I don't- I don't want anything to do with this and hasn’t it occurred to you that maybe-”

Tervel’s voice cracked as he clenched his fist, fingernails cutting into his palm.

“Maybe that bitch finally got what she deserved”

Hanley smashed his hand into the table, splintered wood lifting and rippling, upheaving innocent plates and cups. A piece of purple pitfruit sprayed onto Aiken’s cheek. He looked down and sighed, wiping himself off with a napkin. Shattered plates and fruit painted the table and floor. He folded the white cloth and set it down on a patch of table untouched by Hanley’s impulse.

This was definitely coming out of Hanley’s pocket.

“That's not helpful, Tervel. We understand your … dislike for her, but you also know how important she is”

“She is an irreplaceable asset to Vandryl. Her existence alone is enough to put coercive pressure on other kingdoms. And her backing was one of the reasons the Alliance of the Red Sun halted their campaign against us. Without her, the humans will no doubt move again”

Tervel gulped and looked down, ears drooping further. He knew he was wrong. He knew. But it just felt- unfair. Like she was somehow above the crimes she commits. Unmarred from the horrors she herself inflicts on others. Like she is forgiven. No. Never. Not in a thousand years. Not ever.

“We have to find her. And find out what happened”

Aiken watched the goblin tremble and sighed again. He seemed so…

“Maybe this is a good stopping point. We are grateful you brought this to our attention, Tervel, we really are. Thank you. We will deliberate and call on you if we need anything else”

Tervel nodded as he got up to leave. Silently thankful for the reprieve. He’d so much rather sit in a cell than be forced to talk more about her.

“Oh and if you do change your mind”

Aiken tossed something to Tervel.

Tervel caught the shiny item, eyes widening as he stared down at his hands. He couldn't help but smile.

Goodness these guards are soft. What a way to treat a criminal.

“Before you go and sit in that dingy little cell again, tell me Tervel. What are you waiting for?”

Tervel grinned, putting the thick cell key into his pocket as he walked to the door. He stopped, pulling out two small pink gemstones and tossed one back to Aiken as he stepped through.

“Another job of course”

---

Amora crawled forward.

She found it.

Her nose led her there.

As the path billowed between two trees, swirling around a small flower. She reached out to those petals, each whiter than snow itself. And completed the spell.

She looked ahead.

If she remembered well…

Amora crawled past the two trees and onto the field of grass. It was just as she remembered. A sea of green rippling in the wind. Bathed in the warm sunlight.

Amora looked up and squinted.

Sunlight?

Oh right. It was still daytime.

She felt like it had been longer. The morning seemed so… far away.

Amora moved her hand forward, gripping cold dirt. She dragged herself past the edge of the field, grass no longer cushioning but now brittle, frozen bodies breaking under her. The cruelty of winter.

She stared outward, smiling dizzily as her vision darkened. She wobbled, collapsing onto grass with a soft grunt.

Amora stayed there for a while, sprawled out, cold grass scratching half her face.

She felt her eyelids grow heavy and frowned.

Something was moving toward her. A big something.

She blinked slowly.

“No wait. It's not moving”

Amora strained her eyes for a better look.

“Huh”

She managed a brief, weak smile as darkness clouded over.

“I swear that wasn't there before”

---

A hooded figure walked forward, staring out ahead. He’d watched Amora fall but that wasn't his problem. And it was hardly his centre of attention. He stepped over her unconscious body, eyes still affixed.

“Finally”

He continued further as excitement, fear and a deep, deep longing surged up from within. He smiled hungrily and- hesitated.

Slowly, he turned around, looking down at Amora. At her broken body. And the trail of red behind.

The metallic smell was so strong and nauseating it brought back… memories.

He looked back once more and sighed, bending down over her. He brought a finger to her chin, moving her head to the side, inspecting her face curiously.

How was she still alive?

He frowned, straightening himself. And slowly, carefully-

Kicked her.