The Knife

Chapter 13

One Saturday afternoon I left my room determined to go to the movies. My mom asked where I was going, I told her to a matinee at the Jefferson on 14th Street. She asked, “Are you going with your friends?” In the past I’d go to the movies with Patsy and Angie now I was going alone. “No, not this time,” I said as I left.

Walking up Third Avenue’s Pawn Shop Row on my way to the Jefferson theater a bright beam of light flashed into my eyes blinding me. My momentum kept me going forward, a few steps further on my sight returned. I turned to look at the beam of light and saw it was coming from a display window of a pawn shop. Curious, I went up to the window, the beam was sunlight reflecting off the polished steel blade of a hunting knife: the deadly beauty of it captured me. As my eyes caressed the graceful curve of the knife blade and handle a fantasy came over me. Tony’s gang was coming at me, this time I was ready for them. The knife was now in my hand and with it I slashed them ferociously. Tony Lay dying at my feet, the others ran from me wounded and bleeding, victory was mine. My fantasy ended abruptly when the knife spoke to me in a voice that only I could hear, it said, “Buy Me.”

A shock ran through my body, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, my legs turned to rubber. My brain told me, “You are going to faint.” Grabbing onto the ledge under the window I managed to keep myself from falling. Time stopped, I heard a voices asking, “Are you alright?”

I heard myself answering back, “Yes, yes I’m Okay.”

When my head cleared and my legs were back under me, I let go of the ledge. Even though I hadn’t fully recovered I restarted my trek to the Jefferson.

The knife spoke to me again and said, “You need me.”

A fiery voice inside of me shouted, “Buy the knife you need it.” My plan to go to the movie derailed by my need to make the knife mine. The only way to do that was for me to go into the shop and buy it. I’d never been inside of a pawnshop, going in to this one was stepping into the unknown. My hand shook a little as I pushed the door open and went into the pawnshop. Coming in from the bright sunlight I couldn’t see, I stopped and stood in place waiting for my eyes adjust to the dim interior.

Cool damp air washed over my hot skin, ancient dust, the smells of mold and stale tabaco smoke wafted up into my nose. The door behind me closed after having announced my entry with a loud tinkling of bells and groaning hinges. What had been a raging need moments ago had cooled down considerably.

When my eyes adjusted to the dim interior, I saw an older man sitting at a high counter reading a newspaper. On the counter was a polished brass sign that read, Pawn Broker, I had no idea what that meant. The man was reading under the light of a bare lightbulb hanging down on a wire from the ceiling. He looked up at me nodded and then went back to his reading, it seemed as if he was expecting someone to follow me into the shop.

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My eyes roamed the shop, there were show cases, glass paneled cabinets, and shelves all packed with interesting things in them: skulls, surgical instruments, tools, drafting sets, bowls, harmonicas. On the walls were swords, guns and weapons of every kind, also on the walls were, trophy heads of animals killed a long time ago. Suspended from the ceiling by wires were, violins, trombones and musical instruments I’d never seen before. There were mall paper tags hanging from almost every item; it was like a museum except everything was for sale. The variety and sheer quantity of what I saw caused me to say out loud, “This place is a-may-zing.”

The man heard me, putting down his newspaper and asked,” Where’s your father?” Then he stood up, he was a giant and so scary I was about to turn and run for the door. At that very instant the knife screamed at me and said, “Don’t run, stay where you are.” I didn’t run that knife was going to be mine.

The Giant knew he’d frightened me, it had happened to him many times before. He thought to himself, “This kid is different he didn’t take off like all the others he’s got Moxy.” The giant decided to be friendly, he smiled at Lou and said, “I own this shop I’m the Pawn Broker my name is Fred, what’s yours?”

“Joshua,” I answered.

Fred then said, “What can I do for you Josh?”

I hesitated and then said, “Sell me that hunting knife in the window.”

Fred said, “Boys usually come in here with their dads when they want to buy knives. I’ve never sold a hunting knife to a kid your age, don’t even know if it’s legal for me to sell you one. Tell me, why do you want that knife?”

I answered with a quick lie, “It’s not for me, it’s for my dad, he lost his knife the last time he went hunting, the one in the window looks like the one he lost. Monday is his birthday I’d like to buy it as a present for him.”

The pawn broker looked at me for a long minute, then walked slowly to the display window. The floorboards under his huge shoes creaked sounding as if they were going to break. as he walked across them. When he turned and started to walk back he had the sheathed knife in his huge hand. The thought that he was going to sell the knife to me made me dizzy I was so excited.

Fred put knife down onto the counter and said, “This knife is from Solingen Germany. The Krauts make the best knives in the World. It’s pricey, don’t know if you can afford this one. Mimicking my mom’s tone of voice when she bargained I said, “How much is it?”

Fred looked at the tag and said, “It says four bucks on the tag, you can have it for three-fifty.”

Imitating my mom again I said, “Can you do any better?”

It took Fred a while before responding, then he said. “Alright, since it’s a birthday present for your dad, three bucks and it’s a deal.”

I had more than that in my pocket, my hand shook a little as I stacked the three dollars in coins on the counter.

Fred scooped up the coins and said, “Can’t gift wrap it for ya, I only have this paper-bag that I’m gon-na put the knife in. I don’t want people out on the street to see you walk out of my shop with that knife, and try to keep it to yourself where you got it.”

“I promise, no one will ever know, not even my dad.”

Stepping out from pawn shop my head was in the clouds the knife was mine. Too excited to spend hours in a movie theater I headed back or home. For the first time since I was attacked I felt safe, I had the talking knife to protect me.