Looking at the tiles on the floor move upwards, I can’t stop thinking about what Carter said. He didn’t really mean that did he? Why would he spin some yarn saying I’ve been stalking him? Does he really care about my friends and I? Or did we rope him into this whole thing and he’s trying to think of a way out? I can’t really do anything now, I’m being carried by this security guard, my back aches from where he hit me with the stun stick. Laying limp under the guards arm, I watch as the tiles slowly stop. The voice of the security guard calls out from above me.

“Where’s your room at?” He asks.

“I don’t know where we even are.” I say. “I’m in room D-9”

“We’re in Hallway A, shit.” The guard mutters to himself.

“Do you even know the layout of this place?” I ask.

“Shut up, I’ve got my landmarks.” The guard says, muttering under his breath.

“Nice to be carried around by a big strong man.” I say, making fun of him for carrying me like ball. “Should’ve taken me to dinner first though.”

“What’d I say to you? I’d rather be caught dead than with the likes of you. You’re creeping on people. Plus, you aren’t even human anymore.” The guard sneers.

“And? I’m still human on the inside, that’s what they’re all saying here.” I respond.

“Tell me that when we catch you eating out of the trash, Just like the racoons I shot back home. So, shut up, or ill test out the stun stick again.” The guard snaps back at me.

I don’t respond, Letting this guy carry me all the way back to my room, he swings open the door, and drops me inside.

“Don’t go chasin’ down people who don’t wanna be near you. We’ve already got enough trouble as is, luckily, I’m a nice guy. So in exchange for you letting me shock you earlier, I’m not going to let this go between the three of us. You got that?” The guard asks.

I nod.

“Good, better not see you pulling some shit like this again.” The guard says, closing the door.

Now, I’m left alone, I can leave whenever I want. But, the feeling of Carter making up that story about me following him around all day still sits with me. I can’t see a window outside, but I know it’s getting close to the evening. I don’t feel like going back out. I lay down on my bed, looking at the popcorn textured ceiling. I have an inkling in my mind that what Carter said wasn’t true. But I also feel like it’s something he was thinking. Something that he wanted to say, and finally found an excuse to really speak his mind.

If he feels that way, does he want to help us? Does he want us to go home? Go to our families? What about Lyla? Or James? I weaseled my way into their group, forced myself to do something.

Is.. is it my fault? Do they all think the same thing? Do they all secretly hate me? Waiting for the moment that they want to kick me to the curb? Leave me alone by myself, to go on their grand adventure?

I can feel an aching feeling rising up from my chest and into my throat. It’s a feeling I’ve felt before. Something that I haven’t felt in a while. Closing my eyes, I can feel myself drifting in the bed they’ve given me. The mixture of this pseudo-betrayal, and the thoughts inside of my head send me into a trance, manifesting in the form of an environment I remember.

My home. The last place I want to be. I look down, at myself. I’m slightly taller than I am now. Looking at my hands, I’m… human again. Looking at my attire, I’m wearing a teal dress, formal attire.

I… I remember what this is. I don’t want to be back here. No... not now.

The sound of footsteps coming from the hallway send shockwaves through my body. I know exactly what’s going to happen next.

“What do you think you’re wearing?” a snarky voice coming from the hallway rings through my ears like nails on a chalkboard.

Looking up, I see her. Lisa, my stepmother. The last person I want to see, I try to walk, but I can’t move. I go to clap back, this conversation has played through my head multiple times before, I have several things I can say.

When I go to open my mouth, the words that come out aren’t the words I want to say,

“I’m… I’m wearing the dress Dad and I picked out.” The disembodied voice of myself says.

I’m trapped, inside of my own mind. Watching a conversation I’ve won thousands of times in my head, play out the way it originally went.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“Your dad doesn’t know how to dress himself, you really let him pick out your dress? Neither of you have fashion sense, you look like a fish Kellie.” Lisa says, walking up to me, looking me up and down.

“I think I look fine.” I respond. Going out with my dad to pick up this dress was one of the few memories I cherished with my father. Something that’s about to be broken down piece by piece.

“You look far from fine. Look at yourself, Maxis are so out of style. And for someone of your… height… You’re not really fit for those now are you?” Lisa moves the bottom of my dress around my legs.

“You look like you’re wearing a candy wrapper. It’s not what I would’ve picked, that’s for sure.” Lisa says.

“I don’t… I don’t really care about your opinion.” I say, “I’m going out with friends, it’s Celeste’s bachelorette party. She said fancy. I won’t be home tonight.” A slight relief goes through my body. The calm, before the storm.

“Wouldn’t be surprised even if you did come back tonight, I wouldn’t notice you come in with that trash bag covering you.” Lisa says. “Just so you know, you’re supposed to stand out in these kinds of events, I know mommy dearest wasn’t always willing to give you the finer things in life Kellie. However, it’s like your mother to be someone who’s always in the back corner of a room. So, go have fun, maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll exchange glances with one of the homeless people on the sidewalk.” Lisa chuckles. “oh who am I kidding, the only thing you’re going to be exchanging glances with is your reflection in the wine glass!” Lisa chuckles to herself. “Be sure to stay out extra late, your father and I are going to be gone for a couple days starting tomorrow, I’d like to not be late for our skiing trip, unlike last time.”

“Have fun.” I say, “Try not to freak out when the lift stops moving this time.” I respond.

I can feel the insides of me shrivel up, I know what’s coming next. I’ve heard it plenty of times before, but it hurts every time I replay it in my mind.

“Listen here you little weasel.” Lisa now getting in my face. “You ever wonder why we always take Charlie with us on these trips, and not you?” She asks.

I go to respond, I know what she’s going to say, and this is the perfect time to counter it, but just like it happened the first time, nothing comes out.

“Don’t say anything. It’s because, We have a image, I know this, your father knows this, and Charlie, that little angel, she knows it. Ya know she’s got all A’s in high school right?” Lisa sneers. “My little angel, and you… Levi’s little… kid.”

“Whatever you’re planning on doing with yourself, your job, your hair, your…” Lisa gestures to all of me.

“It’s not working, it never worked, and frankly, with that little attitude of yours, I don’t think it ever will.” Lisa pauses. She’s set all the pins up, and she’s about to knock them all down.

“It’s not like I’m calling you ugly or anything,” Lisa says, supposedly reading my thoughts. “It’s just that you don’t have anything going for yourself right now, and that… Well, it brings us all down with it. Your father, me, Charlie. We don’t need it.”

Lisa walks away, stopping in the hallway, not even looking at me. “Don’t feel bad for yourself, it’s just the cards you’re dealt with, so wipe your face off, and... ya know, go have some fun. Good talk Kellie.”

I put my hands up to my face… tears. Grabbing some paper towel from the kitchen counter, I try to dab my eyes, but when I pull the paper tower from my face, I can see smears of makeup from the hour I spent putting it on. That feeling, like someone just stabbed me right in the middle of my chest, wells up inside of me. I collapse onto the floor, continuing to cry, destroying more of the carefully applied makeup. Looking up at the clock, I’ve got 3 minutes before I need to leave.

Then, I hear a pounding, coming from every single wall, the pounding becomes more and more aggressive as I sit on the kitchen floor, weeping into a paper towel. Soon enough, the world around me dissipates into nothing. My body, vanishes with every thud in the walls. Soon enough, I open my eyes, still laying on my back, looking at the popcorn ceiling.

The door, now a slight knock, rather than a massive thud. Is the only sound in the room. I sit up in my bed, and wipe my eyes. I’m still crying from reliving that memory. I take a deep breath, and say.

“Come in.”

The door creaks open, and Carter enters, closing the door behind me.

“Kellie… You… you okay?” Carter asks.

He looks at me, and can tell that I’m not in the best of moods at the moment.

“I’m… I’m fine, it was just a bad dream.” I reply.

“Kellie, I just… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for what happen- “

“Carter, it’s fine.” I reply. I don’t actually know if it’s fine, I don’t even know if his apology is completely sincere, I just… I just don’t want to hear it right now.

“What time is it?” I ask.

“It’s the middle of the night, I’m coming to ask if you still want to… “Take a walk.” Carter says.

I go to say something, but Carter interrupts.

“I’ve already walked around the facility, there’s no one in the hall, and I’ll leave your door unlocked. So… we won’t see each other until tomorrow. I don’t want to get caught aga- I mean, I don’t want you to get cau- I mean-“

“I know what you mean.” I respond. “Just, give me a couple minutes, and I’ll be out.”

“Sure… Sure..” Carter says, sheepishly walking out of the room, and slowly closing the door behind me.

With the soft sound of the click in the door, I stand up, and walk to the sink. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can see my face. I’ve been crying, but it’s hard to tell. I can see wet fur running from my eyes down my face, grabbing my hoodie, I wipe off my face, trying to make the tear marks go away. After a few seconds, I can’t see them anymore. I can still tell I’m not happy. But deep down, I feel… content. Like I’m in a better place than I was before all this. Even though I look different, my nose, now dark, my short hair, reduced to a tuft in between my pointed ears, my face now wearing a permanent mask… But, for the first time, I don’t feel like I’m wearing a mask anymore. I feel like in a sense, this is where I’m supposed to be. I feel like… an unfiltered, uncensored, version of me. I don’t think I was always supposed to look like this, but it’s a fresh start, I feel new, I feel… cute for the first time, in a long time, even if I spent the past hour weeping like a baby.

I pull myself together, these people I’ve met, Lyla, James, they need me to do this, and it was my idea. But, as I walk to the door. A single thought runs through my head.

“What if… I need them more than they need me?”