Tiny particles of dust were dancing right in front of my eyes. When they entered the beams of light that forced their ways through the leaking roof, they looked like a myriad of insects searching for partners, but once they left it, they were doomed to reunite with the layers or dirt and filth that surrounded me to all sides.

It was only due to the crumbling walls that still tried to maintain their strength and hold up the already collapsing roof, that I was gifted with these fake signs of life. On days where there wasn't at least a faint breeze, there wasn't even this. I was alone in this nothingness, only lying on the cold floor and waiting to be buried under a pile of wood and stone.

Years and decades had passed by like this and the faint hope that the colorful life I once had could be returning had long died away. I hadn't seen a single monk in ages and I couldn't even remember how long it had been since I had seen one of the colorful dressed young men and women that once came here to pray for a good life and never-ending love. They had left me behind without even knowing I was still here, waiting for them.

Without the faith of all the humans that once had visited me on almost every day, I had long grown too weak to move around much. From time to time I would still wander through the shrine, searching for a sunny spot I hadn't yet seen too much off, and just let myself sink to the floor to not move again for weeks or months to come.

I was afraid. Afraid of being lonely, afraid of being forgotten, as it would mean my unavoidable death. Maybe I would just fall asleep one day, like I had many times before, with the sole difference that I would not wake up after weeks or months, but be lost forever instead.

 

«I want to see some flowers...»

 

Using my whole willpower, I somehow managed to slowly raise up. My body felt weak, far too weak to even dream about reaching the unkempt gardens on the opposite side of the shrine, but I still had to try. Everything was better than waking up to this nothingness again. At least there would be bees, maybe even a few butterflies. That was if I didn't wake up in midst of winter.

The hallway had changed yet again. Before I had fallen asleep, it had been wet from a rainshower and leaves were lying around here and there, traces of heavy storms and rainfalls, now, however, it looked dry and empty instead. There were no leaves, no moss, nothing but the light of the sun shining on weathered wood and new holes that had grown in the floor and the walls.

When I looked through one of the openings, I was greeted by bright sunlight and the faint chirping of birds. I could even see some blossoms, though they didn't belong to the flowers I was hoping to see.

 

«So it is summer...»

 

I didn't know if I was lucky or not. The flowers in the garden would surely be in full bloom right now, but I couldn't be sure if they still would be when I woke up again. I could easily be greeted by a world covered in snow and ice instead.

A long sigh slipped my lips as I carried my body forwards. It protested with each step I took, but I didn't listen to its complaints. Once I sat down to rest, I would only fall asleep again and I wouldn't risk that no matter what. I just had to reach the garden. If not for a nice scenery awaiting me when I wake up again, then at least for the flowers, insects, and bird accompanying me when I would close my eyes for the very last time.

I had almost reached the main building of the shrine. It was a big and once colorfully decorated house that had, aside of a single, empty room, nothing to it but a set of bells used for prayers and a wooden box that once was meant for offerings. An endless field of gravel and sand was surrounding the whole structure, completely blocking away any life from growing here, save for some moss and weeds.

Although this place had more life to it than the storage room I had slept in this time, I didn't like it at all. Seeing that offering box and the braided rope connected to the old bells was one thing, but it broke my heart to see the board standing not too far away from it. The dark wood had countless rusty hooks attached to it, with each of them once carrying one or several thin wood slaps.

There were still some of them hanging here, wishing for love, luck and healthy children, but I had no longer the power to let any of them come true. Without their prayers, I was little more than a soul bound to ruins, waiting for a certain death.

 

«They will never return...»

 

Suddenly, as if it had only waited for me to lose all hope, a voice traveled to me from somewhere behind the prayer hall. It seemed to belong to a girl.

 

"I don't think this is a good idea," she said. "This place looks dangerous."

"Are you afraid?" A male voice asked, clearly mocking the girl.

"I- I'm not!" She protested. "It just doesn't look save!"

"It will be fine."

Her voice turned almost inaudible. "If you say so..."

 

Shivers went all over my body and a wide smile grey on my lips. I hadn't heard wrong!

 

«It is a couple! A real couple! They will pray to me! I will really receive a prayer!»

 

I was wide awake. Hearing their prayers would not only give me new hope, but it would also heal me, too! It would give me strength and help me survive at least a little longer. Maybe they would even recommend this shrine to their friends! I would get visitors! Tons of them!

Before I realized it, I was already running towards them, to the backside of the building that once heard so many prayers. My feet were moving faster than they had done in ages, they were gathering their last strength to carry me there, but once they had accomplished this goal, I was left petrified. Not two, but seven of them were standing right in front of the backdoor! Four of them were girls, three young men, but I didn't care about the odd numbers. I would bless them, be it girls, boys or whatever!

My visitors had other plans. They didn't move towards the front of the shrine, where they could pray and maybe even leave behind an offering, but instead began to work on the door that led to the now empty room the humans had once dedicated to me.

 

«What do they want? There is nothing in there! Nothing at all!»

 

I found out long before the black-haired youth had accomplished his task of destroying the rusty lock the monks once had secured the door with. The friends started to talk about a test of courage they wanted to hold here and an evil ghost that was residing in this shrine, right in this room they tried to open now.

 

"Evil ghost? There is no such thing! It is me alone, only me! You don't have to be afraid! I won't hurt you! Will you pray to me?! We can be friends!"

 

A loud gulp could be heard coming from one of the girls, a beauty with hazelnut-brown hair and eyes of the same color.

 

"Did you hear something," she asked. "I could have sworn..."

"Do you want to chicken out?" The guy destroying my door asked with a mischievous smile on his lips. "You can still run back to mommy, you know?"

 

My mood hit rock bottom. These seven didn't even think of the possibility that I could live here, waiting for people to pray for blessings. They just came to play. Still, it was lively, it was better than nothing. At least I wouldn't be lonely today.

When they had finally broken open the door, I followed them inside, unseen and unheard. Humans had never seen me, aside from those with really strong faith, but it was obvious the youths weren't believing in me at all. The girl who had noticed me before was the sole exception, though she, too, didn't seem to have understood a single word I had said to her.

 

"You can hear me?" I asked after putting my lips close to her ears. "I'm here! You hear me?!"

 

A shiver went over her skin. It was obvious she had heard something, but it didn't look like she knew it was a voice. I could only keep trying. If I got her to believe in me, it would be worth any effort. It would be the best thing happening to me in ages!

 

"Can you hear me?" I half-screamed my question. "Will you pray to me? We can be friends, too!"

 

She didn't answer. Instead, she searched for the protection of her friend, a black-haired girl of short build that had pale, almost porcelain-like skin.

 

"You are that scared, Saya," she asked.

"I'm just not good with scary stuff!"

I couldn't help but protest: "Hey?! I'm not scary! I won't do anything to you!"

 

The boy who seemed to be something like the leader of the group didn't pay much attention to the girls. Every now and then he risked a glance at the black-haired one that now protected her friend, before quickly reverting his gaze again. I immediately went to his side.

 

"I can help you, you know? I am a goddess of love! I will make sure your confession goes well! Just pray to me, ok? A short prayer?"

 

He didn't react at all. It was as if I didn't even exist to him, which could easily be explained by his lack of faith. If he wasn't believing in me, with all his hearth, he would neither see nor hear me. He had at to at least think I could be real for there to be a chance to reach him. The girl he had made fun off before, the one called Saya, seemed to be a totally different case. She believed in me, though I was a ghost rather than a goddess in her eyes.

 

"Where are the bells," he wanted to know. "Is it the wrong house?"

"This isn't a house, Riku," his crush explained, "it is a prayer hall! The bells should hang on the front side." She pointed to the regular entrance. "Behind those doors."

"Prayer hall? It is just an empty room!"

"They probably took all the valuables with them when they abandoned the shrine. I don't think the bells are here, either."

"They are! They are," I couldn't help but shout. "They didn't take them away!"

 

The girl named Saya shivered yet again, this time, however, she didn't search for the support of her friend. Instead, she made two steps back, as if slowly fleeing from me. Her friends were so busy discussing and exploring my home that they didn't even realize she was close to running away, screaming and crying.

 

"I'm not dangerous! I am a goddess of love! I can help you find a boyfriend! Or a girlfriend! I won't judge you!"

 

She took another step back.

 

"I never hurt anybody! Don't be afraid! We can be friends, ok?!"

 

Saya didn't answer. Instead, she seemed petrified now, as if she really had seen a ghost. She wouldn't even react to her friends opening the front doors of the praying hall to reach the two old bells that still hung there, waiting for believers to come by.

The boy didn't even hesitate for a single moment. A mischievous smile appeared on his lips as his hands tightly closed around the pleaded ropes that were connected to the bells.

 

"Ten minutes it is," he shouted, before pulling on both of them. "Somebody stop the time!"

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

 

His harsh attack was answered by nothing but two dull sounds. It was as I had expected, the bells were far too old and rusty to produce the beautiful chimes they once had charmed me with. Slightly discouraged by his failure, he pulled again harder and even harder.

 

"Those damn things," he cursed, "why won't they rang?!"

 

He pulled again, this time using his whole weight against the rope. The bells couldn't hold against such an overwhelming force. They had been made to look and sound beautiful, not to be sturdy and forgiving. When they received this last attack, they just came down, broken off from the hooks that had held them in place for decades. Both bells crashed onto the ground next to the boy, before shattering in thousand pieces. One last time I heard them rang, both beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

 

"MY BELLS!!! My beautiful bells! Why did you do that?! How am I-" My voice cut off. "Nobody can pray to me... I... why?!"

 

My voice slowly died away as tears began rolling down my skin. At first, it was only a few of them, but my mood quickly turned more and more bitter as I realized what this crime meant for me. Nobody would pray to me ever again. I would grow even weaker now, week by week, unable to even dream of better times.

 

"I don't want to die," I heard myself bawl, "I don't want to! I'm afraid! Please! Don't do this to me!"

 

He didn't listen. Instead, he kicked against the doorframe in anger, revenging the cuts his right leg had received from the shattering metal. This last attack was too much for the weathered walls to handle. There was a loud rumble, then hell broke loose. Wood and Stone began falling down, Iron hooks and even tiles. I fled out of the collapsing building, using all of my remaining strength to save the short life I had left.

Neither the three boys nor the girls were as lucky as me. They had been too shocked to even react to the building collapsing. Before they could even scream, they had already been buried alive. I was petrified.

 

"They- they- where are- they didn't-"

 

A weak cry confirmed my worst fears. The voice belonged to the girl, Saya, who had heard me before. She was lying on the stairs leading to the prayer hall, her lower body trapped under a large wooden pillar that weighted far too much for her to even dream about freeing herself. Streams of blood were leaking out from under it.

The friends had just died like this, within mere seconds. All of them were gone, aside from the girl who had retreated to the exit before, fearing the ghost that she believed lived in here. She now was crying and begging for help.

 

"Help! Somebody! It hurts so much!"

 

Her voice was weakened enough to send a cold shiver over my skin. It was obvious she would share the fate of her friends, it was only a matter of time, maybe minutes, maybe an hour, not enough time for any help to reach her in time.

I couldn't even dream about helping her. Not only was I unable to lift the wood and somehow free her, but I wouldn't be able to heal her wounds either. I had long grown too weak to influence the physical world, bodies and things. There was only one blessing I could give her to ease her cruel fate: Stealing away the pain she felt right now.

Although I really wanted to help her, it took what felt like half an eternity for me to even reach her. I wasn't afraid of seeing blood or horrifying wounds, although I obviously would have avoided looking if I had the choice, but just thinking of he pleading eyes she would torture me with during her last minutes was enough to send waves of icy cold through my flesh. It was impossible!

 

«Why did this happen!? Why did this have to happen?!»

 

Everything inside of me urged me to run away and cover my ears instead of staying anywhere near this girl. Still, I forced myself to place my hand on her forehead. I closed my eyes and began concentrating. It wasn't that hard to invade the soul of the girl, even though I hadn't done it for decades. Maybe that was just me trying to get over with it as soon as possible.

Countless pictures appeared before my inner eye. They showed the life the girl had lived, her childhood, the fun and trouble she had while visiting her school, but also her first crush, the very body who had ended all her hope minutes ago. He probably never had found out about her feelings.

I couldn't help but feel bad for her, especially now that her soul attached me with memories that weren't as old as the ones before. They revealed her dreams, the things she had planned to do once she had managed to gather the courage to confess. It was her becoming his wife, carrying his sons and daughters and buying a house to stay together in happiness til their final days would arrive.

My mood deteriorated even more. I hurriedly loosened her soul's connection to her body, enough to render her unable to feel pain, but not enough to immediately kill her. It would probably give her a humane death if I were to take that additional step and free her soul altogether, as it would happen far too sudden for her to even feel fear, but I still couldn't force myself to do it. I didn't want to be the one that killed her, everything but that.

 

«I'm sorry...»

 

Chased by my feelings of guilt, I dived deeper and ever deeper into her memories, until I was greeted by pictures so strange and vivid they were like nothing I had ever seen before. I saw weird creatures, some fluffy looking, others cute or dangerous. There were wolves that were larger than horses and horned reptiles that grew as big as a hill!

Dozens of worlds redundant of life awaited me, each of them facing an ominous threat that would bring them chaos, death and destruction. It was only groups of friends like the one the girl had belonged to herself, that fought against those cruel fates, using mighty weapons and abilities that seemed to defy the laws of nature. Some of them brought forth large pillars of fire, balls of ice that rained from the skies like shooting stars or arrows that seemed to be woven of light itself.

It wasn't only the boys and girls fighting and growing into heroes who enchanted me, but the monsters and animals facing them, too. There was a cute, green one that looked like a jumping pudding. It lacked arms, legs and a mouth, but it could still move around just fine. Food would just enter it from wherever it came, to rapidly be dissolved in its half-transparent body.

 

«So cute~!»

 

The other monsters were just as interesting. one of them was a girl with large, black wings. She didn't feed on fruits or flesh, but love instead! Whenever she got hungry, she would find and kiss men or even sleep with them, stealing away their life force in the process. This monster seemed to be an evil existence, but that didn't make her any less interesting to me.

Even the animals were more colorful and unique than the ones I had seen trespassing the shrine before. Foxes and cats would gain supernatural powers once they grew old or mighty enough, and a half-human body to boot! I couldn't resist delving into the memories the girl had of these funny and majestic creatures.

Just as I decided to dive even deeper into her past and the colorful worlds she had experienced while playing her games, a sudden burst of warmth attacked my body. It spread into my chest, my arms and my legs, to then conquer even my heart. I knew this feeling all too well. I had missed it, desired it and dreamt of it, every single day of my life.

 

«Faith! It is faith! Somebody believes in me! Somebody really does!»

 

My euphoria didn't last for longer than two breaths worth of time, as I realized that there was only one human that might end up believing in me, only one that was in the shrine right now, aside from her friends which would never be able to believe again.

 

«The girl!!»

 

I immediately freed myself from her memories and opened my eyes. My worst fears had come true. She looked at me, with her hazelnut-brown eyes, pleading and crying at the same time.

 

«No! Everything but this!»

 

"A goddess..." Her weak voice reached my ears. "So it was true..."

«I- I'm not!» I stammered, knowing that she wouldn't be able to hear me anyway.

"Sorry that we destroyed your home."

«It is fine! I can rebuild it, somehow! I still have the storage room! There is the hallway too! Its roof isn't leaking everywhere! Rain wouldn't hit me anyway! I can sleep between the flowers, too!»

 

The warmth in my body got more and more intense as the girl pleaded for her life, wordlessly, using only her eyes. I couldn't fulfill this dream, though I really wanted to. I was too weak, far too weak. If any, I could...

 

«Wait- there is this way!»

 

I closed my eyes to concentrate once more. This time, I wasn't just aiming for the girl's soul, but for those of her friends, too. They were already hovering over the ruins of what had become their graves, as half-transparent, pale copies of their physical selves, and grieving over their sad fates. It was easy to pull them in. With neither flesh nor bones holding them restrained, they just flew towards me, willingly or unwillingly, to enter my own body.

Their friend didn't even realize what was happening, as to her, souls or ghosts, however she called them, remained invisible. She only saw me spreading out my arms and maybe the holy radiance that seeped out of my body like it always did when I blessed somebody or used my powers in any other way, but she wouldn't be able to explain it. It was only when it was her turn, that she finally revealed her now frightened voice.

 

"You- what are you doing? My body- why does it feel so-"

 

She couldn't even finish asking her questions, as I hurriedly loosened her soul from her body, trying to cut off both pain and fear. Her voice immediately went silent – forever.

 

«I'm sorry...»

 

There was no reason to feel sorry, as all of them, even the boy who had destroyed my shrine and home, would gain a new life and a new chance to find happiness. Maybe he would even realize the feelings of the girl named Saya, or he would grow into a better human. As long as I didn't steal his memories, he would have many years to repent. All of them would be able to start anew in this colorful world she had shown me.

 

«It is better this way...»

 

A long yawn slipped my lips. I had overused my powers yet again. Even the little faith the girl had given me just now, was long consumed. There was barely any strength in my body, not enough at least to keep me on my feet. Before I realized I was already on the ground, gasping for air. My eyes began to fail me. They showed me blurry pictures of red and grey - blood, dust and rubble - that slowly got eaten away by the ominous darkness that came to steal away my life.

 

«I didn't get to see those flowers after all...»