I formed my first memories only very recently. I don’t have any solid memories from before then, nothing but half remembered thoughts and basic instincts. I didn't think, not really, I just acted. I don’t even know how long I spent like that. I had no sense of the passage of time, it could have been days, weeks, or even years.

Before that, I did not feel fear or anger, or even hunger, I still don’t I guess, but now I’m more aware of the world, so it’s a little different now. Certainly I need to eat, but I don’t do so out of fear of starvation, it’s more that I’m aware that I will die if I don’t, so I make sure to do so. It is very hard to describe. Animals experience various feelings as a means of survival I’ve seen it in their eyes sometimes, they get bloodshot and start panicking. They feel pain to avoid things that hurt them, they feel hunger so they know they need to eat, and they feel companionship to seek out mates and the protection of their kin.

What I felt was not like that though. The best way I can describe it is that I had an awareness of those things without feeling the emotions tied to them. I don't know how to put that into human terms, but that would make sense seeing as I am very much not human. In fact, I don't know what I am. I don't know how I came to be or anything regarding my own origins. Until recently, as I said earlier, I did not even think, not really. But here I am, thinking, wondering about myself and contemplating my own existence.

This sudden change of pace I would attribute to an incident that occurred a few months ago. Looking back, I know that I was inside a rabbit, munching on some cabbage, but I wasn't aware of that back then, not really. Something came up to me and started making noise. It was several times my height, stood on two legs, and at this point had come over to me and squatted down next to me, and was running it's hand down my head again and again.

It kept making noise, and I kept not understanding, until suddenly I did. It had kept repeating a certain noise, and it was with a sudden snap that I became aware of myself.

"Bunny"

Bunny. What is a bunny? Am I a bunny?

While not having made that thought with actual words, it was the first time I had really contemplated myself. My thoughts before that were scattered, unfocused, without meaning or purpose. But suddenly, I had something I could refer to myself as. I had something I could attach my identity to. I had language, and even if it was just a single word, and not the correct word for a variety of reasons, I now had a way to distinguish myself from things that are not myself.

I only had the single word at that point, but instantly I was overcome with an insatiable craving for more. As I was contemplating this, another of the creatures, one that was much taller than the one who had unknowingly given me my name, came up and started yelling, waving something around in its hand.

I suddenly noticed that the cabbage I was eating was one of many in neat rows. This place was the only place I had ever seen this. There were other things that I could eat also growing in rows. This struck me as unnatural, something I had never before noticed or given thought to, but I was now as I fled from the swinging hoe of the angry farmer.

That had been several weeks ago. I had a lot more words now, and if I do say so myself, I am much more intelligent than I was back then. Currently, I was fulfilling my craving for more words, for more knowledge. I was inside of a crow now, hiding up in the rafters of a small room in the back of the largest residence in town.

It seems that most of the children (that was what had come up to pet me by the way, a small female child) were only taught, typically by their parents, how to write their own names, and how to do very basic math. Beyond that they only focused on whatever craft their parents had to pass down to them, meaning that most of them were learning to work the land as farmers. Farmers who occasionally had to chase off hungry rabbits from eating their crops.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

A few children were an exception though. They came here together to learn to read and write properly, were taught more complex math, and came to know things about the world at large. It was here that I came to slake my thirst for knowledge. At first I had wandered the village, hiding inside of birds or rats to remain unseen, and simply tried to learn the basics. The youngest children were the ones to follow for this, as their parents would actively teach them to speak, pointing at something and loudly saying the name in an attempt to get them to repeat it. It was quite convenient. Once I’d learned enough to understand the gist of what people were saying, I eventually came to learn of this classroom in the back of the mayor’s house were a select few of the children came daily to be taught.

I’d learned much these past few weeks. We were in a small mountain village called Holvgorg, along a mountain pass that connected two small countries separated by a series of mountains. This continent, the continent of Mortan, was full of rough country like this, split as it was by various mountain ranges. There were six major continents beside this one, in addition to the uninhabited polar continents. It was possible to travel to most of the continents by land, and sea travel was possible over the shallow waters, but dangerous beasts made seafaring through the deep ocean a dangerous prospect.

I wonder if I am related to any of those monsters? My body, my true body that is, somewhat resembled the pictures of an octopus or squid the children had been shown, although I was totally dry. Also, my tentacles didn’t sprout out in such an orderly fashion, and if I’d eaten something, like an eye or a mouth, I could incorporate it into one of my appendages. I’d say I weighed about half as much as an adult, with a size to match, but I could control how much of me was present so I could appear very small if need be. When I did that, the rest of my body went somewhere else. It was still there, but it was also somewhere else and couldn’t be touched. I don’t have the words to describe it any better yet.

I don’t know why, but I had a feeling I shouldn’t let people see my true body. Even back when I still wasn’t self aware, I vaguely recall having an instinctual urge to hide myself inside other things.

I could control bodies as long as nobody else was in them. Corpses were the easiest. Living things had a sort of color to them, an aura that surrounded them that made it so that I couldn’t control them. If you killed them though, that aura went away. Even if you restarted the heart and all its other organs it wouldn’t come back. Once I did that, I could use my own aura to control it.

It took less energy at first to control a corpse, but it broke down as time went on and would lose functionality, so if it got too degraded I’d have to use a lot of energy to keep it going, so I’d have to switch. There was also the problem that things seemed to be able to sense me when I did that. I had to use a certain aura to control a corpse, I’d describe it as a black aura, and most people and animals would get nervous and run away if I got too close.

The mayor seemed especially keen. If I got too close to the village while using a corpse he’d notice immediately and I’d have to run. His aura was the strongest one I’d seen yet, so I had to avoid him.

Luckily though, if the circumstances were right, I could repair a corpse. It was easiest if I killed it myself. I got the best results by destroying, eating, and then replacing the brain. If I did that, I could usually get the body going again afterwards with little to no repair needed. I didn’t have to use that dark aura to control it when I did it this way, so I was able to move around with a lot more freedom. There were downsides though, pretty hefty ones.

The body needed to be nearly pristine. If any kind of rot had started to set in, I wouldn’t be able to revive it. It also took a much larger initial investment in aura to do as well, it needed to be much denser for some reason, and I also had to keep the body alive after that, which meant taking care of it’s biological needs.

I don’t remember doing it that way very often before I became self aware. I would guess it was easier to just take whatever corpse I could find and run it into the ground until I found another one. I’d probably been drawn by the abundance of food in the garden, and decided to procure a living body, intuitively knowing I’d be attacked if I showed up controlling a corpse. It’s comforting to know that even if I was somewhat mindless, at least I wasn’t completely stupid.

Looks like class is over now. All but one of the children were filing out of the room. The mayor had a daughter, and since she lived here she didn’t need to leave afterwards. Seeing as she was the person to unknowingly grant me a name, I’d taken to following her. Everyone in the village, even most of the animals, seemed to have a name, and as the word that had made me cognizant of my own existence, it felt appropriate.

My name is Bunny, and I seem to be a monster of some kind.