Chapter 21: The Filibuster
“Who knows what use they will make of you? Maybe you’ll help them persuade people to buy things they don’t need, or hate things they know nothing about, or hold beliefs that make them easy to handle, or doubt the truths that might save them.”
--Michael Ende, The Neverending Story
“Finally,” said Dodo Clarion, “thought you’d never show!”
“Punctuality was never my virtue,” Mr. Aitvaras answered with a roll of blazing eyes.
“Or any virtue whatsoever,” said Melek in the sort of whisper deliberately spoken loud enough to be heard easily.
Mr. Aitvaras ignored the peacock and said, from so deep in his innards he belched smoke “Assembled and most honorable congressfowl, cocks and hens, cobs and pens, tiercals and formels, drakes and ducks, ganders and gooses, and every flock here, there, somewhere, anywhere, everywhere, and nowhere, let me introduce myself. My name is Mr. Aitvaras. The ‘Mister’ indicates my gender, and ‘Aitvaras’ is my proper, family, and taxonomic name. But all birdkind will soon call me ‘Savior’.
“You see I have here,” a jagged claw fused to a crimson wing lifted what was stolen from Schrodinger, “through great peril and personal expense, recovered a special formula.” Mr. Aitvaras paused so everyone could get a clear look at the gold canister. “Once hoarded by our natural enemies: the cats of the Croatoan Archives. From there, it was carelessly lent to ‘Iron Will’ Henry, a human several of you once thought of as a friend, because just one measly little time, the machines he built kept our glorious city from crashing into the ocean.
“Awful convenient, that. I only ask because I am such a steadfast lover of truth, but what if Henry sabotaged our city so he could appear at the last moment to ‘save’ us, thus treacherously earning a lifetime of goodwill from our citizens?”
At least sixteen of thirty birds gasped at the accusation.
Indigo fire danced across Bennu’s body. Goldtalon made an eagle cry. (Which is honestly rather squeaky.) Grace sat silent between the magpie and nightjar, crossing hands over her stomach.
“Yes,” the demon continued, “Our supposed ally among the humans hid this scroll from us.”
“No, not the scroll!” cried Sterling Dewata.
“No, not the scroll!” cried Eco Repeticion. “What’s so important about the scroll, exactly?”
“This is all lies,” said Melek. The eyes of the crowd suddenly turned to the peacock. He had enough spares to meet them. “William Henry found Nephelokokkygia accidentally while trying to win a bet—something about circling the world in two-and-a-half months. How else could a human find us except unintentionally? We’re on no map! Besides, Henry did send his gold scroll here, on the same vimana-ship he arrived on.
“It must have taken heroic effort just to send the priceless item this far. All evidence points to him currently being imprisoned on the moon. His jailer’s almost certainly Ostara, whom you, Aitvaras, have willingly worked for. Can the assembled not remember why we banished this devil from our society?”
“Aitvaras is a traitor to all birdkind,” said Bennu. “Selling our eggs and chicks to our true enemy! This isn’t hearsay. He once tried capturing me when I had the handicap of a broken wing!”
“We stopped you then,” added Grace. “Whatever you’re doing now, we’ll stop that, too!”
Goldtalon roared beside her. His lion voice packed much more force than his eagle cry.
Mr. Aitvaras made sobbing noises, but no tears could possibly fall from his fiery sockets. Some birds in the congress cooed “Awwhhhhh” anyway.
“Oh, you wretched three.” The demon punctuated every other word with a groan. “Bringing up the worst period of my life, where Ostara forced me to perform terrible deeds against my people! If that wasn’t enough, she caused further humiliation by making me take her money, and spend it on all sorts of fine things, like nice clothes, elegant meals, and cushy accommodations.”
“The horror!” yelled Strythio Modestus.
“You don’t know what the rich have to suffer through! Seriously.” Mr. Aitvaras dabbed an empty socket with a silk handkerchief Dodo Clarion offered. It immediately caught fire. “I must’ve lived better than all of you combined. I don’t understand why you chose to be poor.
“Yet, I’m here now with the cure to the spores threatening to end all Nephelokokkygia. Well, not exactly the cure, but the code to discovering it. Meanwhile, where’s William Henry? Has he come to defend himself against my accusations? No, he has not. I swear to Gary, that alone proves the human’s guilt!”
“Is anyone seriously buying this cockamamie ruse?” asked Melek. While obviously speaking rhetorically, he got a plethora of answers.
“I absolutely believe in the fire demon’s sincerity,” claimed Olive Cyprus.
“You can’t judge someone based on their past actions,” argued Strythio. “Even if Aitvaras directly caused the extinction of many of my cousin.”
Things went on like that. Grace could not believe the birds would fall for such transparent deceptions. True, not everyone could be clever like corvids. Still, to lack all common sense…well, it did not seem so common here. Perhaps they were already infected by Radixomniummalorum bokor.
“Now please,” said Sherwood Burnett. “Let’s have everyone on the floor get their turn to speak. We’ll go about in a round…”
“What you say is libel, phoenix!” accused Mr. Aitvaras. “Or slander. I don’t concern myself with ‘definitions.’ That’s the purview of grimalkins. Thinking they’re smarter than everyone…than you, even!” he pointed at random birds in the room, who invariably gasped. “Worse than Ostara, if you ask me, and who wouldn’t? I have on good authority (my own) they personally, willfully, and sadistically drove dodos to extinction, instead of humans, as is historically claimed.”
“I never saw cats on my island,” admitted Dodo Clarion. “But it hardly follows they weren’t there! Perhaps the cats were invisible. Who here can definitively prove there aren’t invisible cats sneaking around, eating birds? I barely survived this scourge that until just now I thought didn’t exist. That’s just how clever these invisible cats must be, and why we need to build my wall.”
“But what if you finish the wall, and invisible cats are already inside our city?” worried Christopher Paul.
“I’d see the heat of their bodies,” stated Hobby Rufter.
“What you argue about is entirely moot!” Melek tried talking over the panicked crowd. “Invisible cats don’t exist!”
“In the spare time I’ve had,” interrupted the Simurgh’s stenographer, named Thoth Trismegistus, “I calculated the period it’ll take congressfowl Dodo the Third to finish his exorbitantly expensive project. At your current rate of labor, a wall encircling Nephelokokkygia will take eight-hundred-thirty-seven years to finish.”
Dodo Clarion cheered, and his cronies (most from the Flightless Bird Party, excluding the cassowary) joined in. “So, we’re right on schedule! early, in fact.”
“The fungus would destroy everyone by then,” pointed out Hamelin. “Look at the rate spores infect our citizens already. In over eight centuries, we’ll be as extinct as the rest of the dodos.”
“Besides,” added Torgo Ghoulish, “A brick wall wouldn’t keep out something already traveling by air, such as spores. Heck, it wouldn’t even keep out most birds.”
“Don’t besmirch the Differently Flying,” warned Strythio. “We’ll sue you for defeatheration.”
“If a wall alone doesn’t work,” declared Dodo Clarion, “We should make it a dome!” This prompted another bout of cheers, not just from his cronies. “Who needs oxygen, anyway?”
“Leaving building projects aside, my friend.” Mr. Aitvaras tapped the dodo on his shoulder. “Let’s focus on how I’ll save birdkind from this freak pestilence—whom nobody is responsible for spreading. My scroll is a formula listing the ingredients we need.”
“You brought the spores in the first place.” When Grace began speaking, it felt more like a question. Seeing Mr. Aitvaras’ eyes blaze blue, she knew her hunch was correct. Director Ambrosius received his zombie spores from Mr. Aitvaras. Wanting to better understand how to use them, he vainly sought after the demon. In his apparent friendship with Dodo Clarion, Mr. Aitvaras likely snuck into Nephelokokkygia. And (intentional or not) spread Ostara’s fungus.
She expected Mr. Aitvaras to deny it. Instead, he said, “Yes, I was a bit responsible for causing this plague of exploding heads. But I’ve also arrived with the means of a cure! Really, doesn’t that even out?”
“Not to all our citizens that died,” said Ghoulish.
“Nobody needs Mr. Aitvaras.” Grace stood. “Bennu, Goldtalon, and I came because we’ve already translated the scroll and found half the eight ingredients to cure spores. They’re right in my bag, see…” She tried pulling out Ridil, but Dodo Clarion screamed from across the room.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
“Murder! Murder! She wants to finish the job humans began when they invaded my island. (I’m starting to think invisible cats are a ridiculous idea. What idiot thought of it?) Instead of a cure, she brings a sword!”
“Nice handle, though.” Olive Cyprus admired the gold-etched pommel.
“Even if you brought more than weapons, Miss Grey,” Mr. Aitvaras pointed a claw at her, “You genuinely expect us birds to gullibly put your ingredients into our bodies? Not with the company you keep! I have personally seen you,” he pointed another claw, “Bennu of Heliopolis, consorting with one Schrodinger Freyasson, an avowed grimalkin. Can you deny these accusations, sir?”
“Not exactly…” From talks before, Bennu seemed to have expected a solely positive reaction to his homecoming. The way things were turning out, he seemed about to combust.
“The translation came from a grimalkin, correct?” Mr. Aitvaras continued pointing. “I know you couldn’t translate it yourself. Why else would you lollygag around Earth on these fine citizens’ dime while they perished in the streets? How can we trust anything you and your human accomplice says, if it comes from a cat’s tongue? For all we know, these ‘ingredients’ paraded before us are poisons to finish off those still unafflicted by this awful plague (which I caused, but let’s not dwell on that). Entrust my gold scroll to the scholars of Nephelokokkygia. They will discover the true cure, not some outsiders!”
“I, for one, trust the human,” said Falkland Malvinas. “Look how finely she dresses.”
“I still recall when we sent this bit of charcoaled chicken away,” said Hamelin. “Till the Morrigan welcomes me to Valhalla, I’ll stand by that decision. Let’s see what the augur and our own Bennu have brought. Give no credence to Aitvaras’ lies.”
“I’ll go further,” said Melek. “I motion the Simurgh expel Mr. Aitvaras from our sight entirely! He shouldn’t have come back from exile in the first place.”
A tongue clicked in Pandora Crepuscular’s head. “The world outside is full of every evil imaginable. We can still keep hope at home. I side with the Corvid Representative and congressfowl Panoptes.”
Dodo Clarion whined. “If you get to mistreat my friend, I’ll do the same to yours! I counter-motion to send away Bennu of Heliopolis and the two interlopers.”
“Maybe do both.” While no one stated it outright, it was generally understood the Archaeopteryx went senile millions of years ago. Still, when he spoke, everyone stopped to listen. Even Dodo Clarion shut up. “Maybe do neither.”
This prompted many sighs. Dodo Clarion persisted in arguing for building a dome out of bricks. At least a dozen of Melek’s eyes rolled.
With no prompting, Huitzilopochtli Saccharine argued the best way to prevent the spreading spores was to start a war. It hardly mattered with whom. He alternately called for the bombing of Magonia, Antarctica, Australia, Atlantis, the entire Earth, followed by Nastrond, Muspel, Niflheim, Ettinheim, Vigrid, Vanaheim, Nidivellir, and, if there was time, Alfheim. When Olive asked how that would be accomplished, the hummingbird answered, “Obviously, we turn the sun into a slingshot!”
Few paid attention to this, however. Solomon mumbled “I do believe there’s a lesson in all this,” but the Speaker was also not the center of attention.
Bennu and Mr. Aitvaras had both caught fire, clearly intending to battle.
When chaos was really about to break out, Captain Casque Phobetor, said something. None present could understand what he said—not while awake, at least. The cryptic advice he provided would only make sense in dreams, for no creature in Nephelokokkygia explored the depths of the Astral more than him. The cassowary’s tone was unquestionably soft-spoken, however. It carried with it calmness, only slightly backed by the threat of kicking those continuing to argue in the head.
A vote was set whether to believe Bennu’s account, with Nephelokokkygia then trying to seek out the rest of the ingredients to remedy the deadly fungus. At Dodo Clarion and the Flightless Bird’s insistence, if that vote failed to pass, the phoenix and his friends would be sent away from the city, potentially forever. While not officially part of the vote, there was an implicit understanding that if their testimony was rejected, the congress would instead trust Mr. Aitvaras.
The congressfowls who voted in favor of trusting the companions, in no particular order, were: Melek Panoptes the peacock, Septima Hamelin the magpie, Torgo Ghoulish the vulture, Pandora Crepuscular the nightjar, Hobby Rufter the Peregrine Falcon, Falkland Malvinas the Chinstrap Penguin, Diego Featherstone the flamingo, Kingston Eucalyptus the kookaburra, Picus Jinx the woodpecker, Sherwood Burnett the robin, Fujian Tzu the crane, Beagle Brahe the finch, the Archaeopteryx, and Captain Casque Phobetor.
The votes against (again, in no particular order) were: Dodo Clarion Dodo the Third, Strythio Modestus the ostrich, Joy Qingniao the bluebird, Mariner Goon the albatross, Olive Cyprus the dove, Fido Newcastle the canary, Huitzilopochtli Saccharine the hummingbird, Ramphastos Molhado the toucan, Abraham Snood the turkey, Francolin Byzantine the pheasant, Sterling Dewata the Bird-of-Paradise, Eco Repeticion the Yellow-and-Blue Macaw, Muck S. F. Ruckus the duck, Ilyich Christian the swan, Christopher Paul the wren, and Solomon Tereus the hoopoe.
They were outvoted by just one! More in the Simurgh trusted Mr. Aitvaras than Grace and her friends. A hazel eye in Melek Panoptes’ retinue glanced at its teal neighbor. Both went wide.
“My original point stands,” said Melek. “We should enforce our previous ruling which banished Aitvaras from our city. Nobody need give him credit.”
Mr. Aitvaras glared at the peacock. “Still the rebel after all these millennia? It’s far easier just to go along with what everyone else is told. By Gary, why risk a fall when you can stand on a pedestal?”
“In congress,” Melek answered, “as in most places, unfortunately, being loud and being correct are treated as the same. They. Are. Not. I refuse to follow orders from self-proclaimed authorities claiming to know what’d best for total strangers. Not when they go against my conscience, as informed by logic, rationality, and the plain evidence in front of me.” There was a murmuring of agreement from other birds, but not nearly as loud as the reactions Dodo Clarion invoked.
“One legal ruling at a time,” said Dodo Clarion. “Bennu of Heliopolis and these two delinquents must leave of their own volition, or else we put them on trial!” His voice achieved an ear-shattering pitch. “We shall give these blatant criminals a fair day in court…at the claws of Inquisitor Strix!”
At mention of the judge, a hush dropped on the heads of the Simurgh members like a gallows. Thoth Trismegistus spilled ink across the scroll he scribbling short-hand on, totally messing up his work. Falkland Malvinas’ monocle fell and shattered on the translucent floor.
“Yes, well, I’m terribly sorry, Bennu of Heliopolis,” said Solomon Tereus. “But I do believe there’s a lesson in all this: never bring a magic sword to a word fight.”
“I wonder how many years we can lock them up,” Dodo Clarion started bragging. “If they come back, I mean. Maybe we just throw them in with the quarantined birds. I’m sure the nightingale will allow…”
Goldtalon rose from his place and stomped over to Dodo Clarion. His orange eyes stared at the congressfowl like he once looked at salmon he snatched from the river by Fort Stone.
“No, Goldtalon,” cried Grace.
For all his bullying and smugness, a griffin bearing down on him set the dodo cowering. His skeleton might as well have been tapioca pudding. He quivered and quailed. No insults slipped from his oversized beak.
Goldtalon reached out an eagle paw (with half its nails clipped) towards Dodo Clarion’s fat head. With just one claw, he could easily crush that head like squeezing a grape into a raisin.
Grace was on her feet, but did not stride over particularly fast.
Instead, Goldtalon grabbed the triangle hat off the dodo’s head, tossing it out the nearest window. It easily passed the red brick wall, clear off the city’s edge.
“No!” Dodo Clarion regained his voice, though it was much weaker. “That was a gift from Aitvaras.” The fat bird squeezed out that same window (even though there was a full-sized door beside it). The gathered citizens of Nephelokokkygia watched him waddle to the brink, needing first to circle a gap in the inch-high barrier, before plummeting after his hat.
“He can’t fly,” said Grace. “You think that’s going to kill him?” She asked no one specifically.
“If he does, I won’t eat him,” promised Ghoulish. “That brat’s too spoiled even for me.”
“Oh, he’ll wind up back here eventually,” said Melek. He turned his eyes (yes, all of them) to Grace. “He’s done far worse banning you from our city. It kills me, Bennu, Goldtalon, Miss Grey, but in my capacity as head of security, I must escort you out.”
Leaving the hall in a daze, Grace overheard Mr. Aitvaras propose a truce between Nephelokokkygia and Ostara, the details to be settled once Dodo Clarion got back from Earth. The odious suggestion met with cheers. She was sure now that some congressfowl were already turned into zombies.
“I realize it took great effort getting here.” Melek spoke in a deliberately mechanical way.
“The least I can do is make your return voyage smoother. We still have the vimana which carried the gold scroll from the moon. Must’ve been on autopilot.” He noticed the blank looks on Grace and Goldtalon’s faces. “Do you know what a vimana is?”
Grace never heard the word before, so neither did Goldtalon. The griffin liked the way it sounded, though, and said it to himself, none too softly. He repeated it repeatedly. Grace eventually told him to stop. Immediately, his beak snapped shut.
“For the record, a vimana is a magical craft allowing transport through zones of the Astral. Not fast as thought, but close. It’d take you comfortably to the moon and back. It should do fine bringing you home.” Shaking a bronze key hidden in a tail feather, Melek unlocked a hangar some ways from the Congress House.
“Hjckrrh! Shiny.” Goldtalon’s eyes expanded when he caught sight of the metal ship.
Melek turned his full attention on Grace. Though so many eyes gazing at her, she did not squirm under them, as she might once have back home.
“You’re a very brave young woman. Most adults wouldn’t dare come this high. I’m genuinely regretful we won’t be able to utilize what you collected in your satchel. That was another part of congress’s decision. The city will eventually realize its mistake, but you and your friends have no reason to suffer for it. I’d be proud to meet the others, and thank them for their sacrifices in-person. Even the grimalkin.”
“Actually, there’s two grimalkins,” said Bennu. “One’s mostly a sourpuss, but the other, well…she’s kind of sweet.”
Grace felt humiliated and angry, the one feeding into the maw of the other only to be regurgitated and re-swallowed. After the trials they went through, and the miraculous stories she heard about the city of birds, after so much time away from her family, this was it? She wanted to take this craft and fly it straight back to her apartment.
She trusted her parents to find decent homes for Fox and Diana, whether they wanted to be separated or stick together. Director Ambrosius would be absent for the foreseeable future, and while Project ARTICHOKE had other agents, only the Institute appeared to involve changelings. Ambrosius hinted he was not well respected, either. The government had no reason to want the three girls imprisoned. But if it came to it, they were far from helpless.
Under Dr. Bezoar’s bridge, Schrodinger mentioned the Croatoan Archives would need restoring after being ransacked by monsters who could only have been Mr. Aitvaras, the Aniwye, and the Djieien. He had time for that now. During exile, Bennu could find a place with the Murder. Based on the magpie’s vision, the crows should be reunited soon if they had not already.
Goldtalon would not fit in Grace’s room. Not while she shared it with her Grandmam.
Maybe the Murder could take him in, too, or show him places to hunt. The griffin, after all, had the combined appetite of an eagle and a lion. Grace wondered whether Oberon Ross managed to reach out to his daughter. She would like to see her mother reunited with the old man.
Sure, terrible things happened out in the world, but what could she do to fix them? So many issues occurred far away, like with that inventor William Henry. No matter. Ostara stuck to the moon, and could not easily get at Grace or her friends. Now that he walked freely in Nephelokokkygia, Mr. Aitvaras would not be visiting Grace’s neighborhood. The troubles of others should not concern her. Maybe the birds deserve what they get.
No. Even at her angriest, Grace knew that was not true. Problems on the moon or in the clouds were her problems, too. Eventually, the spores would spread to Earth. While she felt bad for herself, Grace also felt sorry for Bennu. He died and resurrected just to fly home. But it was her time to go home. That should not be taken from her. Before that, they had to pick Schrodinger, Fox, and Diana up from the little wooden cabin on stilts.