Lily and Harry stepped out the Leaky Cauldron and back into the busy streets of London.
Lily was silent while turning her head left and right, trying to decide quickly where to go. Occasionally, she would nod to herself then shake her head again, debating whether the place she wanted to go was safe or not. Harry waited and watched her with an amused look.
Then, Lily sighed loudly and asked Harry, "Is there any place you want to go?"
Harry smiled and said, "There is one –" he raised his eyebrows. "Hang on, are you actually asking me to go somewhere I want?"
"Well…" Lily pursed her lips, thinking hard about whether or not it was a good idea. "I guess I'm giving you the liberty of going anywhere you'd like," she smiled at Harry and added, "along with me, of course."
Harry beamed.
"So, where do you want to go?" asked Lily.
Harry shook his head, "I think it's best if I don't tell you. I want it to be a surprise."
"But, Harry –"
"Please?" Harry pleaded, making an eye contact Lily couldn't say no to.
Lily hesitated for a moment and finally said, "Okay."
Harry smiled widely. Then thinking what to do next, he asked, "I know you can Apparate and I just have to tag along… but since it'll ruin the surprise, can we ride the Knight Bus instead?"
Lily frowned. She'd much prefer Apparating since it was the quickest and easiest way of travelling, but then the thought of riding the Knight Bus and just enjoying the fact that Harry was leading him to somewhere exciting was a good way to go as well.
"Very well," said Lily. "I guess I'll just have to trust you, son. I better not regret this," she warned Harry, as she stuck out her wand arm near the curb.
The purple, triple-decker Knight Bus appeared out of nowhere in front of them.
Harry and Lily stepped inside before the man named "Stan Shunpike" could introduce himself like he always did.
Harry ushered her mother to go ahead and take a seat while he talked to the conductor, who gave him a toothy grin regardless of his pimply face.
After a while, Harry went to sit beside Lily pocketing the tickets.
"Now," said Lily, she looked at Harry who was grinning broadly. "Will you tell me where we're going?"
Harry shook his head once again and said, "Stop asking, mum. Just enjoy not knowing what's going to happen." Harry was totally enjoying not telling her where they would go.
Lily looked worried. She sighed. "Alright."
They sat in silence, all the while squinting outside the window. It was blurry, but Lily watched the fields and lane flick past them.
Lily narrowed her eyes when she caught a glimpse of a place familiar to her.
"Hang on a minute –" said Lily, looking at Harry. "Did we just pass through Ottery St Catchpole? Are we going to –"
Harry looked out the window. He could see cottages that stood on either side of the narrow road.
He eyed his mother nervously and said, "We can just keep going if you don't want to stop here."
Lily's mouth was slightly open, "– But how did you even know that this was our –"
"You told me once before," said Harry. "And I really wanted to see the place where you and dad used to live."
Lily frowned, but before she could say anything, the Knight Bus came to a halt and Stan Shunpike announced, rather dully, "Godric's Hollow!"
They stood on the side of a narrow lane. Harry thought they were in the heart of the quaint village. There were several shops, a post office, and a pub. A short way ahead, he could see a church, and on the far back was a graveyard that had row upon row of tombstones.
Harry was mesmerized. He looked like a kid in a candy shop, amazed at all the things he could see. Lily, on the other hand, had a faraway look in her eyes.
"Mum…" said Harry after a while, his smile fading slowly. "I know you don't want to be here…"
Lily gazed at him and saw the worried look on his face. She smiled and said, "I haven't been here for a long time, ever since your dad –" she paused, a lump stuck in her throat.
"I'm glad to come back here…" she said gently after a while, her eyes not leaving Harry's. "With you."
She hugged him tightly and ruffled his already messy hair. She wanted nothing more than to spend this whole day with her son.
"So, what do you want to do first?" asked Lily nervously, doing her best to forget all worries and just enjoy the moment.
Harry felt a thrill of excitement. He looked around, not really knowing what to do or where to go first, he said, "Anything and anywhere you want, mum."
Lily beamed at him.
They walked along the lane where they could hear laughter and pop music at a nearby pub. Lily looked at it curiously. She could vividly remember a memory as though it was only yesterday. She smiled brightly and said, "Your father and I used to date here. He would always ask me for a dance right after we finished a meal and people would tease us –"
Before she knew it, Harry grabbed her arm and steered her inside the pub.
It was the same as Lily remembered it. A warm glow of firelight illuminated the entire early seventeenth-century interior. Pictures hung on walls. The cosy and welcoming atmosphere made Lily and Harry feel at home.
Harry rather preferred this than the Leaky Cauldron or the Three Broomsticks. It had lesser crowds and it was clean. They could smell the polished wood, and the food wafting from the kitchen was so tempting that leaving this place would be impossible.
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They sat at a little booth by the window overlooking the vast and beautiful field that stretched along the far side of a hill.
A waitress came by and took their order.
"James loved this little corner," Lily started. She rested her arms on the wooden surface and looked out the window. "He said he'd bring our kids here every day if we ever had any."
Harry chuckled. He could very well imagine her parents huddled in this corner and admiring the picturesque scenery outside.
"This is where your dad asked me to marry him," Lily continued, a small smile travelled to her lips. "I was shocked at first. I thought he was making fun of me."
Harry would probably do the same for the girl he wants to marry. This place held so many memories that he never knew before. He could feel so many emotions inside him stir, most especially now that his mother started sharing about her past which she rarely does.
The food arrived a few minutes later. Harry could hear his stomach growling all of a sudden. He wasn't aware of how hungry he was.
They were almost done with their meal when music played in the background.
"Oh, I love this song!" Lily said, blushing slightly. "I forgot that they always play this song in here." She hummed a melody and closed her eyes.
Harry watched his mother sway her head from side to side. "Mum," He stood up and held out his hand. "Would you like to dance with me?"
Lily sat frozen on the spot. It was exactly the same as she recalled this moment. James would stand and offer his hand to her for a dance too.
"I would love to." Trembling slightly, she took Harry's hand and started dancing.
Harry wasn't a good dancer but he wasn't bad for something slow that required only swaying. He'd rather do it with his mother than anyone else, at least for now.
Lily gripped her son's hand tightly as they danced. And before she could stop them, tears came. Emotions started pouring out of her.
"I miss him so much, Harry. I miss all the jokes he had, his smile, his laugh. When you were born, you reminded me so much of him." She closed her eyes, reminiscing about the old days. "Your father would have been proud of you. You've achieved so much and I should have been there cheering you on but instead –" Lily sobbed on Harry's shoulders.
"It's okay, mum," Harry said softly.
"I just wanted you to know that I'm really sorry," Lily said in between sobs. "I am truly sorry for not giving you so much love and happiness. You deserve it, you really do. I wish… I wish I could go back and do it right this time –" she cried harder.
Harry hugged his mother. He tried to steady himself. He could feel Lily's sorrow and it pained him to see her break down this way.
"Don't worry about the past, mum." He gently rubbed Lily's back, trying to comfort her. "And besides, we have a lot of time to do all those…" but Lily cried even more. If only you knew Harry… I would go back in time for you in a heartbeat…
Lily calmed down after much effort. She didn't want to take the rest of the day with her son looking like a total wreck.
Harry gave her some water and decided that maybe it was time they leave the pub and continue on with the rest of Godric's Hollow.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she put hers on his waist, and they walked together in silence.
The afternoon breeze swept past them. They could see some kids playing and flying with their broomsticks in a nearby park. Three goal posts stood on each end of a pitch, about thirty feet high.
An amused expression was visible in Harry's face when he saw a kid block an incoming Quaffle through one of the hoops after making a clumsy dive.
"You could already zoom along on a toy broomstick when you were just a year old," Lily told him while she watched the other kids play in the distance. "Your dad said you were going to be a great Quidditch player. I say he was absolutely right. If only he could see you now…" Lily looked at him, a smile formed in Harry's face.
"James would bring you out here and teach you how to play, but of course you were not old enough to understand. He would chase you around the pitch…" She pointed her fingers to show Harry where. "He was so silly…"
Harry made a small chuckle. "I was thinking of him when I had my first Quidditch game in school," he said.
"You were really great up there," said Lily. "Didn't I tell you your dad was an excellent player in Quidditch back then?"
Harry shook his head. "I kind of knew all along…"
They watched the kids do the final dive before they set off down a different road.
"Mum…"
"Hmm?"
"Can we… uh," Harry hesitated for a moment. "Can we go see our old house?"
Lily stopped in her tracks, her heart beating in her throat. She knew Harry would eventually ask about the house. She had been keeping it to herself for a while. Now that they were so near, she wondered whether she wanted to see it after all.
She gazed up into her sons' hopeful face and said, "Of course."
They walked halfway across the square and turned right. At the far end of the street, they could see a two-story cottage where a large portion on the top floor was destroyed. Nature had largely reclaimed it with ivy covering most of the surviving portions. Hedge had grown wild with waist-high grass in the front yard, and there was a small gate.
Lily took a deep breath as she looked at the ruined state of the house with a heavy heart. "This is it," she told Harry.
Harry looked at it curiously. Sadness etched in his face as he gazed upon the top floor.
"That is where dad –"
Lily nodded. "He protected you and sacrificed himself so you would be safe…" she said, her voice quivering when she added, "I… I was unconscious when he – he killed James." She could feel her emotions rise up once again.
"I refused to step aside so he cast a spell on me… and then I was unconscious. I – I was too late to save him…" said Lily, her eyes brimming with tears. "And I started blaming you for it… I know it's the most terrible thing to do… I couldn't look or talk to you for years. I was afraid that my heart would never open again. I am truly sorry! I –" she couldn't continue any longer as she burst into sobs.
Harry squeezed her hand to let her know that he understood her completely and had forgiven her regardless of what she did. He shut his eyes and tried to maintain control of his emotions as well. He could feel he was drowning in his own numbness.
The wind lashed the pair as they stood motionless, trying to deal with their own grief. Harry's heart was as lost as Lily's, but he had found the strength he needed to go on in the fact that his mother needed him – needed him like she'd never needed him before.
He squeezed her hand again to let her know that everything will be okay. Together they turned in silence and walked away.
It took several hiccups before Lily's sobs finally subsided. They were walking down a path leading to the graveyard when Lily wiped her eyes and said softly, "Your father was a great man. He loved you more than he loved himself."
Harry lowered his head. He wished he had known his dad or heard his voice. Life could have been happier that way. Judging from all the pictures Harry had seen so far in his mother's bedroom, he had never seen his dad look unhappy. On the contrary, he was full of life and energy.
They went past the kissing gate on the way at the entrance and moved towards some graves. Harry could hear birds chirping and a rustle of dried leaves as they went deeper. He had imagined himself coming here with his mother and just spending the afternoon talking to his dad in his grave. He couldn't believe he'd be here now. Deep in his heart, he was happy for this moment.
Lily stopped in front of a white marble grave. Harry approached it slowly.
Seeing the grave was worse than hearing or imagining about it. Grief weighed on Harry's heart and lungs. Lily had taken his hand. He could not look at her. His eyes welled with tears and he couldn't stop them from falling. This was the closest he could be with his dad.
Lily raised her wand, twirled it slowly, and roses blossomed before them.
Harry closed his eyes. Moving image after image of James and Harry as a baby flicked past him as though he was watching on television: James chasing him around the house, feeding him, making funny faces, holding him as he walked, teaching him how to fly, reading to him…
And finally, as though in slow motion, he could see his dad's face looking back at him at the present time, smiling, waving, and then mouthing "I love you" before disappearing.
Harry cried.
Unable to stop her own tears, Lily wrapped her arms around him.
"You really loved your dad," Lily whispered after a while.
"Yeah... I hope he knew how much."
"I bet he knows how you feel. Death doesn't put an end to love."
"You think so?" asked Harry.
"I know it."
They stood in silence for one last time and then they walked away.
Harry leading the way, he pulled open the gate and trudged back out the graveyard. Lily remained behind a few feet away from him.
She was walking along a rocky slope, her feet were having a hard time balancing herself. She slid past a tombstone and hit it hard. She thought she heard something crack. She checked herself quickly but there were no injuries.
Heart beating fast, she slowly opened her bag. She only had a few items in it, but the only thing she wanted to see was right in the very corner – her glasses. With trembling hand, she took it. It had taken her a few minutes to compose herself because right at the edge of the frame, was a small crack.